My Son Is Turning 4 in 3 Days and He Still Has His Pacifier. Help!!!

Updated on February 05, 2010
C.A. asks from Deep Gap, NC
19 answers

My son will turn 4 on Tuesday. He is still very attached to his pacifier. Most of the time people tell me just to take it but I am having a very hard time with that. I have tried telling him to give it to a baby because he is a big boy and lots of other little things. He does not care about any of them. I know if I just take it from him he is going to be miserable for a while. Of course which will make the rest of the family miserable. We talk about it and he wants to give it up but he always finds a way to put the day we do take it away off. Does anyone have any advice or tricks? I really need his passy gone in a few days. HELP!!

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answers from Seattle on

my son was 3, when i knew i had to get rid of the binky.
I cut the tip off his binky(recomendation from peditrician) and within the week he had no interest in it. We explained it was for babys and broken. The first day without it was the worst, but not terrbile. He whined but i offered him his broken binky and he wouldnt take it. after a couple days he even quit asking.

*make sure to check the tip after you cut it off that theres not crumbing pieces that could choke.

Also turn the house upside down looking for any lost binkys so he doesnt find one he hid or lost.

Best of luck to you!!!

** Im getting ready to take my 2 year olds away, same way!!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Wilmington on

In my opinion you can't just take it way all at once. You gave it to him as a baby for comfort. He still sees it as comfort. Taking it away all at once would be punishing him for your choices/decisions.

When my oldest got rid of his, we started with taking it in the mornings when he'd put it down. We'd pick it up and take it to be washed. However, the difference was, we didn't just give it right back after it was washed. We'd wait till he asked for it. Each day it was later and later before he asked for it. Pretty quick he was going all day without it and only asking for it at bedtime. Some nights he went to bed without, but would remember it just before going to sleep and ask. When he asked, we'd give it to him. It took about 2 weeks I think it was before he went to sleep the first time without it and never asked for it again.

Start with having limited access to it except for at bedtime, then to no access to it all day. Don't just give it to him at bedtime, let him ask. In a few days he will get used to not having it and will forget to ask for it at night.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Tulsa on

If your child has the need to suck he will find anything he can to suck. I took my daughters pacifier away be cause eveyone said I was a bad parent to let her keep it, she was too old. Well, she sucked her fingers until she was older and as a result her fingers are deformed, her jaw is recessed, and she has crooked teeth. A pacifier wouldn't have caused all these physical issues. If he needs to suck on something let him keep the pacifier. You can take away the pacifier but you can't take away fingers, sheets, clothes, blankets, toys, etc...if he needs to suck he WILL find something to suck on.

When he's ready he'll put it down and forget about it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

I don't agree with just taking them away. You can't punish him for your failure to help him give them up earlier.
We are currently weaning our two year old from the pacifier as well. First thing we did is to restrict it to nap and night time. The rest of the day it stays in a box.
I like the idea of a binky bear... though my plan is just that the next long weekend we will plan a lot of active play, so she will be tired enough to go to bed without (my daughter goes to daycare, so we wait with changes until there is enough time for us to implement them at home).
You son is quite a little bit older, if you bring up the subject and prepare him for whatever you are going to do and then stick to it, he will probably just be miserable for a short time and fine the next day. Just give lots of praise, even if he melts down.
Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

just take it away. let him look for it and be there if/when he gets upset. your job is to raise a confidant secure adult, not cater to him because you don't want to hear him cry. you're letting him walk all over you on this. either take it or let him keep it, but quit waffling. he's playing on your indecision to get his way. he's FOUR. and you are letting him walk around with a PACIFIER in his mouth. who is in charge here?

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Austin on

Throw all of them away except 1. Then as Brandy H suggested, when he is sleeping cut the tip of it off, each day cut more till it is just the nub. He will realize it is broken. Tell him to throw it away and then give him lots of praise for being such a big boy.

Sometimes as a parent we have to just make the right choice and even though our children will be distressed, we know it is for their own good. YOU are the parent and the adult. You need to be strong and show your son that it may be hard at first to break a bad habit, in the long run he CAN do it.

I am sending you strength.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Raleigh on

I read an idea about taking the pacifiers to build a bear and making a pacifier animal with them. You stuff them in the animal before it gets sewn up. That way the kid sees that he still has his pacifiers, he just isn't allowed to put them in his mouth anymore. He can pick the animal, name it, etc. Make it a big to-do... We took our son's away at around 19 months and haven't looked back, but at four I think the other idea would work better. I just didn't think I could rationalize with a 19 month old.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Huntington on

I think cold turkey is best, or at least it was for me. We told our son the paci fairy would leave him a toy, but he had to relinquish all paci's so they could go to new babies. I don't know that he was all the keen to give them to the new babies, but the toy was exciting. (We got him a small train set). They night we did it, we put all of them by our fireplace (except one, which I stole after he went to sleep) and the next morning, he had the wonderful toy. At first, he fussed about it, but we were firm and in a few days, it was a memory.

I have since heard from several sourses that around 9-10 months is when kids get clingy with things like paci's and blankets, and that is a good time to give them up. I am going to remember that the next time!!

Good luck!!



answers from Kansas City on

We took our dd's away when she was 2, since she had just been chewing on it and it was a mess. We told her it was broken and threw it away. She still sometimes asks for her passy, but then she tells me it was broken and I had to throw it away. It will be hard to get rid of if he's super attached, but the best thing is a clean break.

I have also heard of some people going to build a bear and having them put the passy in a bear, so that they get rid of it, but also gain a new lovey. Good luck!!!



answers from San Francisco on

We took our oldest daughter to the dentist because her front teeth were not coming all the way down due to her pacifier! She was about 2.5 or almost 3. The dentist told us she was making a mess of her teeth with the pacifier and to take it away right away! When we got in the car on the way home, my husband took it away. She cried most of the way was a very long ride but within 20 mins it was over. He explained why it was being taken away and took it. It was the hardest ride home the crying but I was so hurt also. Would I do it again, yes!

So take it and he will get over it. Will it hurt you absolutely but you know you are doing the right thing.

Good luck, be strong!



answers from Raleigh on

our oldest had paci from the age 23 months- just over 3(he started when his brother was born, even though he hated it as a baby:))We just took it away one day....couple hard days and after that he was fine. He is 5 now and sometimes I wish I had that paci back:)



answers from Raleigh on

I sucked a pacifier myself until I was 5 years old. (This ruined my mouth- I had to extensive orthodontic work done from 12-16 years old.) My uncle finally had enough of my parent's failures. One weekend while I was visiting, he put Texas Pete on the pacifier and let it dry. I popped that thing in my mouth that night and that was the end of the pacifier forever. I went and threw it in the trash myself. He had quite a laugh about it too. It might sound heartless, but it works and I was no worse for wear because of it. You might could also try bitter apple or something else bitter tasting. Good luck!



answers from Hickory on

I have no doubts that my daughter would have kept her paci until she was 4. She was 3 1/2 when I finally got it away from her. The bad part was, she and I both had what's called the hand, foot, and mouth disease. Basically she had a lot of sores in her mouth and it was to painful to suck on it. So, I told her it was the paci that was causing the sores and she gave it up. However, allowing her to keep it that long did cause dental problems. She had an overbite, which corrected itself, but now her front teeth both have bad cavities. So, for the health of his teeth, be creative and figure out a way to get rid of it.


answers from Lexington on

We cut all the nips off of our son's pacifiers and left them in the usual places. As he found each one we declared, "oh no! They are broken!" and we let him throw them away. He was 2 1/2 and never looked back. Our daughter was a little tougher; she tried to suck on the remnant of nip on the plastic base for a few days, and then gave up and threw them away.

Good luck!


answers from Dallas on

I was mortified to find myself in the same situation since I had said my child would not have one to start with! I just told my son it was time to give it up and be a big boy. And to my surprise that was it! But at 18 he still had his "baby" that he likes to rub to fall asleep.
So maybe your son can switch to something else that comforts him.
Good luck and God bless.



answers from Chicago on

I would on Monday night tell him to put it under his pillow and when he wakes up to being 4 he will have a surprise. Get something small to replace it with and then get rid of all of them in the house. It may be rough but if they are gone and out of the house you won't be tempted to give in either so that night they need to be in the trash can outside covered in other garbage.


answers from Kansas City on

I got fed up with my daughter crying over the binki, so when I'd had enough I took it, cut half the tip off and gave it to her, she was so mad but held it in her mouth until she fell asleep in my arms, once she was out I layed her down took the binki out and never gave it back to her. She ocassionaly tried to take her baby brothers. The first few nights were rough but I just rocked her to sleep then moved to her bed after a few nights where I'd lay with her until she went to sleep. She loved sippy cups so that replaced where the need to suck on things helped. Best of luck to you and stay strong, I just broke my youngest of the binki bout a year ago, my boys were faily easy tho. After the first day its not as bad as you think it is, when they start to wine for it, just turn thier attention to something else. A craving only lasts approx 7 mins for any addiction lol



answers from Clarksville on

just take it away from him and get ready for lots of crying.



answers from Johnson City on

my daughter had one and i used a fleece blanket to get her off the passi i would "accidently" forget it but had the blanket and after a few weeks i was able to throw away all the passies as long as she had her blanket and she was 1 at the time you could try using that and ive heard alot of moms saying they cut a little off the passi each day when the kid wasnt lookin and eventually the kids didnt want anything to do with it

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