My Son Is Obsessed with Me...

I don't have boys, but I think it all sounds pretty normal to me. I have a couple friends who are going through the same thing right now with their boys. It is a phase that will end is what I am told! My thought would be to make an effort to have his daddy spend more time with him, and try to start forming a stronger bond there. Or even uncles, grandpas, etc. Don't stress about it. It won't last forever!

Do I ever know what you're going through!! When my husband and I first got together my son was sooooo jealous of him and any other person that would touch me (his older brother, uncle, aunt). He had a real problem mostly with men.
He had lost his dad in a car accident when he was almost 2, so I let it slide thinking he was feeling insecure about losing his dad. But it got to the point where he would come at people with teeth gritted and hit them or throw things at them.
Finally, when I thought he was old enough to understand, I explained to him that I loved him so so sooo much and that I could love other people too without taking any love away from him.
I also told him that if he was wanting my attention all he had to do was ask for it and he didn't need to act mean to get it.
So, now when he wants my attention he will come up to me and say "I need my mommy." and we will find something to play with or read or just snuggle. He's been a lot better.
Don't get me wrong though... he still has his moments where he will remove my husbands hand from my leg or push his older brother away when we hug. But the hitting and throwing has stopped.
I wish you the best of luck. Having a young man compete for your affection is very confusing and trying at times. I still have moments where I have to walk away and think about how to deal with it the best way.
I'll keep you in my prayers,
K.

Hi S.!

Separation anxiety is very common at this age...My son, now 10, was the exact same way at 2! I would get down to his level and acknowledge his feelings letting him know that I know he misses me when I'm gone and that daddy does too so I'm going to hug daddy AND you. Dr. Sears' books about attachment parenting literally saved my sanity. Made me realize that my son is normal, his behavior is normal and that as long as I let him be my shadow, I acknowledge his feeings and love him like mad, he will grow up to be independent, sweet, empathetic and amazing. Here I am 8 years later to say that this is EXACTLY what happened! If I had tried to separate myself from him, against his wishes...If I had ignored him...he would be confused and could actually have become more dependent. My son and I are still extremely close and he truly is the most empathetic and sweet boy I have ever known. Problem with that is....ALL the girls at school are in-love with him... : ) By the way, with my son (and every child is obviously different), his clinging to me lasted until he was about 4. Then he became more independent and it showed up again at age 8 (which really surprised me but it's very normal).....

Just love him up.....Before you know it, he will be off to college and you will be longing for the days when you had a velcro baby!

Best,
S.

Well S., its almost cute except for the screaming and throwing himself around part but funny none-the-less. I have a 5 year old who I call "my shadow" because thats what I see everywhere I go. Upstairs, Downstairs, bathroom everywhere! He always has to ask where am I in the house even with his father and sister in the house. Or yell out that he cannot see me while we are in the house. My daughter cannot even say her last name is the same as ours because I am 'his' mom but he is starting to accept now that he is in school that we are a family and my daughter (15yrs) also has the same last name. My daughter does the same thing as your husband with the purposeful hugs and kisses but my son just will hug and kiss me last, which means that Im being hugged and kissed to death by two kids who think its a competition rather than really wanting to hug and kiss me. But its kinda funny most times. Now my son spends time with all of us now, not equally, but enough that I dont feel smoothered to death by him but Im sure your son will grow out of it, especially when he starts school and gets to spend more time with other kids. He just probably loves his mommy and right now he is still little and I can only say just enjoy it now because when they become teens you'll miss all the attention and hugs and kisses you get without asking. Good Luck!

S. -

This is normal child-development. Your son's clinginess may be magnified if you are away from him a lot during the work week. My best advice is not to resist or scold or punish his behavior, but just keep him with you as much as possible to reinforce that he can trust you to be there for him. I've had a couple of kids who were very sensitive and had high anxiety at various stages of development and resisting it always made it worse. Try not to think of this as a "problem" that you have to fix, but just a phase that he will get through eventually. Also, avoid comparing him to your daughter. He is a unique person with his own needs and personality. You might try letting him sleep with you at night to increase the amount of time he gets with you.

Blessings,
J.

If you are working full time, he's associating you leaving the room with "moms leaving again for work". Have you tried a group hug with your husband? And then stay with him. He might think that hugs mean you're going away, too. I bet the other moms will have better advice...

S.,

I am a full time working mom too, so I know we don't like to hear that, but I agree that it may be extreme because you are not at home most of the day. When I come home from work, I can't even use the restroom by myself because my daughter is so clingy.
Our small children need our physical presence to know that we love them, and if we are not there for them all day, they try to compensate when we are there. Since having to work is just a reality of life, I try to spend the few hours before she goes to bed each night cuddling and playing and making sure that she knows I love her - even if that means taking her to the bathroom with me.

I would just give him the attention that he needs, lots of hugs and kisses AND at the same time tell him and daddy and his sis need hugs and kisses, too. Do group hugs for a while and see if that helps. It is all part of sharing, which is hard for a 2 year old.

HI there! I have the same issue with my son, too. He always wants to be with me and doesn't really want anything to do with his daddy. On days that my parents watch him when we go to work, if he is awake, he freaks out when I leave. He always has to be sitting next to me and we are even going thru, hopefully, just a phase where he won't sleep in his own room, we at least have him sleeping on a mattress on our floor on my side of the bed. I have been trying to think of things to break of him habit of always having to be with me. This is what I have come up with. I let him cry it out sometimes, I won't always pick him up. We spend quality time together on Saturdays when my husband works, so when his daddy gets home from work on that day, he wants to see his daddy a little more and I get a break somewhat. I just always tell him that I love him and give him hugs and kisses. I am thinking it is just a phase he is going thru right now. I remember my nephew was like that too with him mom and he outgrew it. I think it is also a comfort thing espeically since you are his mommy and you are probably the one who spent the most time with him as an infant?
You are not alone in this, I know exactly what you are going thru. Just assure him that you love him and he will hopefully outgrow it sooner than later.
S.

I have 3 boys of my own and only 2 were obsessed with me. First I do not work outside the home, so I'm home all day with my kids. Second, my niece who I care for just turned 2 and she's obsessive with me also. I know I have to constantly tell her where I'm going and what I'm doing. If I left her in one room and went to another, she'll walk around saying, mom where are you? Even when I go to store for short time, and leave her with my hubby, she'd cry but I still tell her where I'm going and I'll be back. After the first four or five times she doesn't cry anymore. She's equally affectionate with both my husband and I but prefers me. Same with my boys. We never teased one for crying or anything like that. Sometimes we as adults tend to forget our children have feelings just like we do only their just learning. I would recommend talking more with him and also spending at the least 15-20 minutes with just him. Whether its reading or talking or playing. The one son who isn't obsessed with me is obsessed with his dad, and with dad working alot we had to make sure son/dad had that precious time together otherwise... my son's life would seem like it was the end of the world for him. Enjoy your children's youth, it passes so fast and you'll never get those years back.

I agree with you 100% S.--- teasing a 2 year old is not ok--- yes, of course an adult can think rings around a baby- no pride in that- but a lot of trouble down the line--.

As to why he's so intense??? --- '''' I work full time'''. What you are seeing is a little boy who really wants more connection with you- and knows that right now he has to be without you several hours a day. I promise you can make a positive difference- but it wont make the issue disappear. As soon as you get home and relax for 10 minutes- do something for 15 minutes with him - by himself- take a walk, play blocks- follow him around chatting about what he's doing-- WHAT it is doesn't matter- what matters is that this is a tiny bit of '''just you and me'' time- then calmly announce- '' now it's time for me to ----------'' and go do it. Do you do that kind of ''just you and me''' at bedtime? That would be another great time - .

Blessings,
J.