My Son Is 1 and Needs to Start Sleeping in His Crib- Help!

The "No Cry, Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley has been a great resource for us. She is very supportive of co-sleeping and gives gentle ideas on how to transition the baby to his/her crib.

Since your son has been sleeping with you all his life, he's very accustomed to that and why would he wants something different? Of course, you need to do what is best for your family and that means teaching him to sleep on his own. But this won't happen in one night. After all, all he knows is one thing and at one year of age, it's not as if you can explain to him why you are moving him.
Where does he nap? Does he nap in his own crib?
If he has his own room, I would move him there at night (vskeeping him in your room) especially if he's already napping there. If he doesn't have his own room/crib then set something up for him.
You can then be there in his room for him then transition yourself out as he sleeps (of course this will mean you getting up in the middle of the night at first) but it wil lbe easier on him moving only once and having you transition, vs getting him used to sleeping on the floor, or your room and then moving him again!
Next, get a plan of action and get ready for some rough nights--(for you at least) since you will be needed to be there to help him fall asleep on his own and teach him how to self-soothe. But stay strong and rest assure that your efforts will pay off. Depending on the temperament of your child and the actual plan you decide to implement. you should have results in a couple of days and a happy one year old sleeping through the night on his own in a week or so. Really.
Here's a book that will help: The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Whisperer-Solves-Your-Problems...
It's been out for awhile so the library should have it. Her first book is great too, but really only outlines what to do with infants and not older babies. Though she covers eating and other issues, her main topics cover sleeping/napping-- sleeping in their own beds and now to devise a plan for a transition if you are making changes. This book is great too since it covers issues that may have developed or making changes later on (like you need to do).
Anyways, good luck, I'm sure you guys will be transitioned in no time!

I've been through this, and have had a succesful transition. (FYI -they'll always cry during change)

First, you must mentally committ to your decision to keep him in his bed, no exeptions. (well, my exeption was if he had a high fever or other serious illness -then I pulled his mattress in our room, not sleep in my bed)

After mental prep, you must create and stick to a plan of action. Routine's like bathtime then reading or other quality time is critical to the success of transition. Get into a routine if not already in place.

Pick the same time every night to tuck him in, shut off lights, and let him know he is safe. Singing helps and visual contact is very important here, smile with your eyes. (They read your eyes.) You walk away without letting on that you're worried!!! (If he's in a crib that he can't escape from, allow yourself to feel confident that he is safe) He will cry! Don't hear it - prep your spouse. If after 30 minutes of this you want to check on him, do so with a smile - dry his eyes, give him a kiss, retuck him in, no lights, not a word.
Just a word of caution, the crying may become prolonged if you check in on him too often.

My son was already in a bed when I decide to transition, I don't recommend waiting util then. I would sit in my room and watch him from down the hall. I physically put him in bed where I wanted him to lay, if he fought me, I would pretend that I was not affected by his fight. To me, I wasn't fighting, I was enforcing my rules and I knew best. Not a drop of negativity from me at all (which was hard sometimes, but a critical component)

It took two weeks of this undesirable experience, and like magic it stopped, & he slept in his bed.

Can you handle it for that long? Or perhaps even longer if he is a bit more resistant? Be prepared. Trust that changing now is always easier than later. It's so much harder to try and take back bad habbits.

Good Luck! Write in a journal, you need to monitor your thoughts during this phase so that you can adjust, and control or just look back and laugh at your challenges. (they go away when you laugh at them :-)

The "Good Night, Sleep Tight" book is very good, as mentioned below. It's written by the Sleep Lady (aka Kim West). I found the book in the local library. She also has a website http://www.thesleeplady.com/ It's a great book because she breaks it down into different sleep issues (age groups, co-sleepers, families with multiples, etc) and the book also gives you a timeline to follow. Don't expect a miracle. It does take time to train your child but perseverance does pay off.

Hi A.,
I recommend for you the book "Good Night, Sleep tight"...I don't remember the author now but I bought it at Borders so you could ask by title. It's a method that I used on my baby boy when he was 8 months old, it's in between co-sleeping and cry it out phylosophies, the method takes 2 weeks to complete the training and mine only cried a little on the first 2 days and then he learned to fall asleep by himself and have slept thru the night 11-12 hrs ever since (he's now 3 yrs old). I'll be too long to describe the method here, and since I did it so long ago I may not remember exactly. but I know the book has different chapters for using the method at different ages, since every age presents different challenges. regardless of which way you go or which method you use...it's important to STICK TO IT once you start training...sleeping by themselves it's a training and it may be hard for mom for a week or two, but then it'll be smooth sailing the rest of their lives, it's very important for them to learn that and be independent sleepers...everybody gets better rest!!!
Good luck!

I have not gone through this myself but a friend of mine did when her daughter was actually a bit older than 1. She put the mattress on the floor the same as you did, but it was a bigger mattress and was able to lay on the bed with her daughter until she was asleep. If she was to wake up after she had already gone to her own bed, she would go back down to comfort her. When she finally got used to sleeping on her own, she moved the mattress to her bedroom. If you do not have a larger mattress, maybe you could form some sort of makeshift bed, (air mattress,etc.) Hopefully you will only have to lay in it with your child for a short time until they fall asleep. Good Luck!

Hi A.. My son (now 4) slept with us until he was 14 mos. I nursed him all night long prior to that and was getting no sleep. He napped in his crib, but slept with usat night. We finally got tired of the night waking and decided to let him cry it out in his crib. He cried for about 5 minutes and slept the whole night through ever since. We now have a 6 month old boy and we learned from our mistake, he is in his crib and I sleep great!!!!

I didn't personally experience this however, my suggestion is to just let him cry.Eventually he'll realize your not coming to get him nd he'll sleep. I'm sure a few nights ofthis and he'll get the picture.

I love the idea of laying on a mattress next to his crib. I don't think it is right to make him CIO, it isn't his fault you let him sleep with you. At least when he is crying this way, you are there with him. This might make a few sleepless nights for you, but it will be well worth it!! My son always slept in his crib, but a friend of mine still has her 2.5 year old with them because they just haven't really stuck it out. Good luck!

Eisa has good advice re the netting and transitions. You could also put your mattress on the floor to avoid a fall... that's what we have done, and our daughter is 16 months old.

Hi there! I'm in the same boat if that helps any... However, lately I've been trying to get her to self-soothe to sleep in her crib (started during naps) and then it's worked a couple of times at night. Mine is a little different than yours though. Mine was having to be rocked to sleep and then would sleep in the crib (probably just starting at 8 mo.) for naps only and then I transitioned into sleeping in the crib for the 1st half of the night, but when she wakes for a bottle (she's always woken up for one bottle - now the time's moved up to 4:30 a.m.) but once I give her that bottle in my bed, she's gone back to sleep with us until she wakes for morning time. I tried last night just bringing her to bed with us at 12:30 when she woke up crying, but she freaked out crying because I didn't have the bottle for her because she had gone to bed late and I didn't really think she was hungry. I think everything's a habit...their routines are good for them, but we've all just given them that one habit of our bed and/or bottle with me and it's hard for us to break it. But you're right, at this age (well, mine's 10 1/2 mo.) they really move around a lot and don't leave you much space to sleep and it's hard with them moving to get any sleep. I've got to try to wean her off of the night/morning bottle and get her to stay in there all night. I've read the other responses and maybe one of those books can help us transition as well. It's hard, huh? Does yours self-soothe when he naps? If not, try that first and it wasn't as hard as I thought - I just let her fuss when I knew she was real tired and she was out in a matter of minutes. Not even a massive cry... That's only where I am thought so I can't offer much else, other than I can relate and I wish you luck!! I do find sometimes with naps or at night time I can go in and rub or pat her back if I get in there fast enough before she really wakes up and she'll go back to sleep. Best wishes!!

Hi there,
You will really have to "bite the bullet" on this one. Once you decide he must sleep in his own bed (crib) at night-there's no going back. You will have to be consistent and it will be exhausting and hard, but it will be worth it for all involved.
Start putting him in his crib at night and sitting in the room with him where he can see you. Be calm and talk soothingly to him. He will likely cry, scream tantrum whatever, but he will become tired and eventually go to sleep.
You will have to keep this up EVERY NIGHT until he understands he has to sleep there.
It will be hard for all, but it is developmentally appropriate for him to sleep alone. Don't lose your patience with him, be firm but loving. You can play some calming music and establish a soothing routine before bed.
Good luck!

As a grandmother of 17 and great grandmother of 7 I would suggest you purchase a couple of pairs of good ear plugs and put your son to bed in his bed at the same time every night. Make a game of it by giving him supper then a bath and "jammies" then a nice quiet story with some light clasical music (low volumn) in the background. *Put him in his bed for the story time and then leave the music lower and a night light (put in a blue bulb) (Blue is more relaxing)
pull the door halfway closed and put in your ear plugs. Go and watch tv with your spouse... who has done the dishes while you gave the bath and story. you can take turns with the story and dish duties. The baby should be ok about going to bed within a couple of weeks ... you have to have a routine and stick to it.
May God be with you.
NANA

Hi A.,
I wont be much help because my son is 5 and we still battle with him to sleep by himself. He was a very sick small one so we did what we thought was right keeping him in the bed with us. Well it turns out that was a big mistake. We tried the put him in his room and let him cry it out but come on lets be real for a second not even the most perfect parent can really tolerate the screaming very long. So what we did and are still trying to do is we feed him, bathe him, jammies, story, and then we put a movie on that he really loves and most of the time he will fall asleep by his self but sometimes especially when he is sick I have to go into his room and lay down with him until he falls asleep if he wakes up I tell him I will be right back and I stand outside his door and he falls right back to sleep. This is a nonstop painful process for some people but it does get easier. Good luck

Hi.

I understand very well the challenges associated with co-sleeping, having done so with all three of my daughters. Believe me, I waited longer than one year with the first two! My youngest daughter had to be weaned from the breast at eleven months because I had a medical situation. Since my condition required a long hospitalization, we trained her to sleep alone using a program (can't think of the name, did find a Dawnn Whittaker) from Vancouver, BC.

Basically, it was establishing a definite routine each night with a variation of '"crying it out." First. establish a firm bedtime routine, using a key phrase (like, "nighty-night time"). Also, setting a firm time to begin bedtime (about twenty minutes total), and doing the same things each and every night. Start early in the evening before the child is overtired. Our routine is pajamas on, teeth brushing, story time (up to three books, depending on length) and then either sing songs (usually the same ones, in the same order) or a bedtime meditation tape.

If the baby is not quite asleep when you lay him/her down, that's better than being completely asleep because you want the child to learn to sleep alone. The idea is that you decide on an amount of time you can accept before comforting the baby, then when you do comfort your baby, you do the same routine (not the entire bedtime routine! Just a brief comforting, using your key phrase). The idea is that the child will cry shorter time periods as the program progresses but that was not our experience. With Jessie, she would cry some nights five minutes and other nights it would be exhausting and frustrating, (we had set a twenty minute limit on going in to comfort her) but she did eventually get into a reasonable sleep pattern and was not too taxing for my husband during what turned out to be a much longer than expected hospitalization. Naps were a later challenge in our case. We still use a sleep routine to get them to bed but don't expect our kids to sleep through the night every night. I find they're more likely to sleep through if they've been outdoors and gotten plenty of exercise during the day.

The oldest stopped climbing into bed with me when she was about nine (not every night, after about age five). The two little ones (ages almost three and five) have their own room and sometimes sleep through the night. My husband and I take turns going to them should the baby wake and cry. Our five-year-old will usually sleep through but sometimes
she still comes and climbs into our bed.

I can't say I'm successful at weaning my kids from co-sleeping but I am pretty happy with our arrangement as they are usually asleep by eight p.m. so we have an hour "quality time" with our fifteen-year-old. Her childhood has flown so fast that, in her maturity I can appreciate how short this co-sleeping and needing me time is going to be for the little ones. I have a very strong bond with my oldest, and she often tells me how glad she is that I am her mom, and not any of the other moms she knows.

Suggested aids: For mom, read "Let me Hold You Longer" Also, we have some old tapes I got for the oldest. They work great, maybe they're still available on cds; "Healthier and Happier Children through Bedtime Meditations and Stories," by Lee and Jim Perkins.

Good Luck and Sweet Dreams!
L. N

How lovely that you've had such a nice experience with a family bed! If you and your husband are still okay with your babe in bed and the issue is just the crawling out, there are nice netted bars which insert under the mattress to catch the baby. You could use a few on the baby's side. If it seems like a good time to transition to crib you might try laying on the mat with your son in his room until he falls asleep as a transitional move. Sounds like it'll be a process to help him adjust so my counsel would be to be fluid with it...compassionate to all of your needs.

hi A., THESE IS J. FROM PUERTO RICO IAM GOING ALMOST FROM THE SAME THING I WHANT MY 9 MONTHS BABY BOY TO SLEEP IN HIS CRIB IN HIS 5 YEAR OLD BROTHER ROOM!!!! HE HAS HIS GOOD NAPS BUT THATS IT, WHEN ITS NIGHT TIME HE STARTS TO CRY LIKE CRAZY!!! HE WANTS TO SLEEP WHITH ME AND MY HUSBAND, AND I THINK HE SHOULD BE SLEEPING ALONE ALREADY, I DONT SLEEP VERY WELL LIKE THAT ITS A NIGHMARE!! FORGIVE MY HANDWRINTIG I SPEAK INGLISH BUT DONT WRITED TO WELL JAJAJAJA !!! J.

A.,
I had a similar situation. My son wanted to sleep in his papasan swing instead of his crib. I felt so guilty that he was not sleeping in his bed. So one night my husband and I decided he would sleep in his crib and we were not going to give in. Needless to say my heart broke and I could not listen to him cry over the monitor. So the next night we lowered the crib the the lowest setting and I placed a mattress on the floor next to the crib. He still cried, but I was able to hold his hand and eventually he drifted off. I won't lie he still fussed for the next two nights but it got easier. Then I moved the mattress farther and farther from his crib. After 4 nights he was sleeping in his crib and without me having to lay down too.

Good luck!

Hi A.,
If his crib is in another room, have you considered moving it near your bed in your room?
Just an idea. We actually still have a family bed, so I have no real experience. My daughter does sleep in her own bed, but my son, age 4, still sleeps in our bed!
Good luck,
D.