Hi! I'm a mom to a 6-year old girl with Asperger's. She's gifted also, and quite the hoot! I don't agree a lot with Kirsten, I'm afraid. I'm a big fan of labels. Yes, they certain can cause anxiety, but they also provide services. My daughter has changed so much in the last year and half when we got her assessed! She's now in kindergarten and has a good number of friends. More importantly, she's happy, which she wasn't when we first got her assessed.
I don't think I ever heard of an official Asperger diagnosis where an IQ test wasn't conducted. The IQ doesn't rule out Asperger's however. Like I said, a high IQ child could still have Asperger's. What the IQ test does is put the Asperger's more in context. For example, my daughter scored pretty high in some areas. In other kids, autism may be ruled out, but because my daughter is so off-the-charts in some areas, she's still considered autistic because of the gap that exists in social skills vs. what she's capable of in other areas. I hope that makes sense.
Also, Asperger's doesn't manifest itself the same way from child to child. Some Asperger kids may not care about having friends, but others definitely do, for example. There are certain things that do seem to be fairly consistent, however. One is the inability to read other people. My daughter can actually do this, but she still doesn't do it in practice. Another is the rigidity. Ugh! And many kids with Asperger's will obsess over certain topics and talk your ear off about them. Other kids do find their differences odd!
It is very possible that your child is so gifted that other kids can't relate to him. It's also possible that something else is going on. Don't despair, there are ways he can make friends, in either case. The best way is to find after-school activities where he'll be with other smart, quirky kids like himself! My daughter naturally gravitated to kids like her and learned a great deal of how to relate to them on her own!
If you do get your son assessed, and he qualifies for services, he'll learn to relate to other kids better. Smart kids do really well with learning these techniques!
I'm sure he'll do fine with some help!
C.
www.littlebitquirky.blogspot.com