My Son Got Bit by a Child at Preschool

As the parent of a former biter, I was mortified when this would happen. I finally saw that my son would bite out of frustration. There was one little boy who would just scream in my son's ear for the same reason - frustration. Well the screaming was a trigger for my son to bite.

It took several times for me to figure out the situation. The biting did stop as his vocabulary increased. Also, I took measures to get him out of situations that were too loud for him. Sometimes that worked best for us.

My older daughter attended a fantastic preschool, and on two separate occasions she came home with bites (from a different kid each time). The thing is, at this age, kids get frustrated quickly and there may not even be anything that happened that would make you think, "Oh, well CLEARLY that's why little Betsy bit Mathilda!" Half the time it's something stupid, like Mathilda didn't like Betsy's shoes, or Mathilda needs a nap, or whatever. Bottom line, preschoolers are like little animals. No matter how well trained they may be, ultimately they're unpredictable. No amount of supervision will keep every bite from happening. However, if this same child keeps biting other children, it's likely she'll be asked to leave the school.

The only thing that I found helped was to discuss with my child why the other child bit her. (Once she confessed that she had just hit the other kid on the head! My little angel?! Ack.) We talked about how she needed to use words instead of hitting other kids, and if her friends were not using words, to go tell the teacher. Other than that... keep a pack of frozen peas in your freezer. They work great as an ice pack. =)

HI W.,

I don't know what the child to teacher ratio is in this class, but I will tell you that as a Mom of a biter and as a daycare provider who has also had biters in care, it can happen really quickly. The bite may have been more substantial if your son tried to pull away when the other child was "locked on". It is horrifying when this happens, but not an uncommon occurrence among toddlers. And kids bite for all kinds of reasons...

Did the teachers not see the occurrence at all or did they only see the bite after it was over? Usually there are some clues about what prompted the bite... or perhaps at 3 1/2 your son can tell what happened...?

The most you can probably do is ask the teachers to be more aware when the biting child is playing with other kids. Usually kids who bite will do it fairly regularly, until they learn more verbal skills and/or learn to control their impulses a little more.

If you're unsatisfied by the teacher to student ratio and the age group that your son is attending preschool with, I would consider switching. I think there is great benefit to children of this age starting to play with their same aged peers.

Good luck!

Catherine C. is right.

I wouldn't worry about it unless it starts happening a lot. Like my 15 year old son just told me when I started worrying and over-projecting about something recently: "Mom, stuff happens." That shut me up.

Bah! This is one of those cases that if you let it, it will get out of hand...don't let it. I would apologize to the parent, ask the teachers to keep a closer eye on him, talk sternly to him about how inappropriate biting (he is 3 for goodness sake! and leave it at that!
It is amazing how fast a child can bite another child, lack of attendance may have nothing to do with it. My son was a biter (it made me upset too and felt responsible) and I remember being 15 feet across the room one day, he (was about 3) got in a tiff with his sister and before I could say a word he reached over and bit her as hard as he could, drawing blood! And of course that was the week my daughter went in for immunizations...yea, I had to explain it to the doctor. He had the maturity to say it happens, especially with boys, especially at around that age.
I have known other children that have done it too. It is an irritating thing some kids go through...sort of like my 1l year old now who rolls her eyes every time I ask her to do the dishes....ANYWAYYY.
Stay calm, apologize, talk BRIEFLY to the teachers and then let it go.