My One-year Old Is Hitting

My son is 16 months and he is doing the same thing, has been for like 4 months now. I don't know if it's a phase or if she is picking up on the something from the 4 year old. I'd be more likely to think it's just something she is going through. My son has been doing it less here lately so I'm hoeing he is getting over it.

Hi N.. My daughter is 22months and she did the same thing at that age. You are doing the right thing. Keep doing what you are doing and tell her no that hurts mommy and when she giggles repeat no thats not funny, that hurts mommy. I did that and she finally understood. She is so much calmer now and she loves her kisses and so do i now i dont get a slap afterwards. Lol i just love this age they are discovering so much. Hope this helps and good luck.
L.

I have a 16 month old daughter who also has started hitting me and my husband. It is also usually when she is 'loving' on us, and I really don't think she is doing it to hurt. We also just tell her "No hitting, that hurts.". Most of the time though she just giggles. I just put her down then and continue on as normal. I'm hoping that it is just a stage that she will get past very soon.

My daughter used to do the same thing. I think it was that she wanted to touch us, but didn't understand that touching hard is hitting. What I did was when she would hit, I would take her hands and put them on my face, and do a genltle stroking on my cheek with them. Then I'd say "gentle touches" Then I would touch her face the same way and say the same thing. It took a little while, but eventually she got the picture that touching our faces was fine, but she had to do it gently. The beauty is that now when she is around animals or other kids, all I have to say is "be gentle" and she understands. You can even have your 4 year old help by demonstrating how to be gentle. It's amazing how much they can understand this young.
Hope this helps,
-K.

N., my 21 month son does the same thing - especially when we are playing or loving. He thinks it is funny and has no idea it hurts. I tell him no very sternly and then put his hands on my face and say "love the mommy" in a sweet voice. We are having to do the same kind of lesson w/ pets. I think he is beginning to get it but he still hits when he gets really excited. If he won't stop, I just put him down and go do something else. As far as he is concerned, the WORST punishment ever is losing mommy's undivided attention so I'm hoping it will eventually dawn on him that if he hits, mommy is going to move on to something else and he will lose her attention for the moment.

N.

Children this age just don't know that hitting hurts, and that is a good thing. I had to play this game with my daughter only once. She hit me in the face with an open hand. I hit her back with the same force. She hit me again and I hit her back. It dawned on her that getting hit hurt and she just snuggled into my arm and never hit me again.
My son didn't get it the first time. He and I had to play that game a total of three times until he understood.
With love from Beth and Joey's Mom.

My little girl did the same thing around that age my husband and I would say firmly no smiles no we dont hit in our family we love. Then I would ask her do we hit and it took a little while to get it but she is 3 and we haven't had a problem with hitting in a very long time this also works for kicking biting and yelling now I say do we hit or whatever and she will say no and I ask what do we do in our family and she responds with we love and gives us a hug and kiss and says she is sorry. It may not work for you but it really works at our house it did take a few months of being very consistent. If that doesnt work I would tell her no and then put her down and ignore her until she calms maybe a min or 2 kinda like a time out. I have never spanked my child and I have to say she is an angel she minds very well shes not perfect but she is good. There were also a few times when I'd ask her do we hit and she would say yes but I would just say no we dont that hurts mommy does mommy hit you and she would say no so I would say well dont hit mommy. I also now that she is old enough to understand more If she misbehaves I prompt her to say she is sorry for what she did. If she refuses I dont make a big deal about it buy most of the time she says it.We always follow up with an I love you and hug and kiss. I also make a big deal about when she is good and less when she is bad this works better now then when she was smaller the less attention bad behavior gets the better, now thats not to say I dont correct her but very low key about it.

I don't know that I have ever heard of a remedy for hitting and would like to see what others say but I do have a story. Don't know if this will help or if it is the right thing to do but it worked. My nephew comes up to you and hits continuously... out of control..... but for attention. My boys would always gripe when they had to go to my mothers house because they didn't want to put up with him hitting all the time. He was just abnormal and it was aggravating to be around him and his mom would never correct him. I would tell my boys not to hit back and just to ignore it. Finally one day my youngest son got sick of it and turned around and hit him back really, really hard. It hurt him and he cried. To this day he still hits but when my youngest son is around, my nephew won't dare try to hit my son. So it cured that.

To me, it depends on WHY the child is hitting.

If they are hitting and showing the early signs of bully behavior, I would simply slap back. Not hard enough to hurt them physically, just enough to be uncomfortable.

Many people worry that this teaches violence, but I disagree. If I hit because they are touching something, or screaming, etc. yes, I'm teaching them to react with violence.

But a child who is hitting, is ALREADY violent. By hitting back you re-assert that you have more power (more capacity for the violence) than them, and that there are very bad and scary consequences to being violent. Once they realize that this isnt pleasant, and stop hitting, then they will follow your example in how to properly act in certain situations without violence.

ON THE OTHER HAND, if she simply doesnt know her own strength, as alot of small children dont (trying to give you love pats) then simply dramatizing pain with a surprising loud "ouch" each time should do the trick, without being funny to her.

I had the same problem! I think it is the age. My daughter did that from the time she was 11 months old until she was almost 13 months old. Everytime she did it i brought her hand down and very sternly said No! You dont hit Mommy (or whoever). Thats not nice. She eventually stopped. She is 14 months old and hasnt hit anyone in over a month. They are learning their limits and testing us so just be consistant and patient and it will pass. She isnt doing it to hurt. She just likes the reaction. I am a firm believer that hitting her back is counterproductive and how can I teach her not to hit if i het her?! She also bit me recently in the finger (she is teething and I said oww that hurt so she bit her own finger realized how bad it hurt and hasnt bit since! I hope this helps!!! Good luck!