My Oldest and Adhd

Updated on March 29, 2008
J.K. asks from Big Pine Key, FL
36 answers

My oldest son has adhd, and my husband and I think it may go a little deeper than that. He is constantly in times out at school, we are always having meetins with teacher. I have taken him to a doctor, and the medicine he prescribed to my son doesn't work. The doctor has upped the dosage twice and my son doesn't respond to it. I didn't want the meds anyways, but he is a constant every day battle now. We talk every day, but he doesn't listen, he hears us, but it goes in one ear and out the other litteraly. His teacher keeps him on the pocket everywhere she goes, he goes. He argues bout his homework, and cries when he has to sit and do it. He bites, hits, kicks, he even threw a rock at another kid at school. He is almost out of the after school programn, which means I have to rearrange my work schedule. I love him dearly, but I can only be pulled so far. I need advice, help. Anything. Yes it sounds like a beg and plead act, but it is. I need help.
Thanks much.

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N.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Sounds like my grandson. They finally found out he was not adhd - is high performance autistic. My daughter-in-law saw a TV program from Duke about this, called and found a doctor in Atlanta that tested him. He is in high school and doing a lot better now.

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M.M.

answers from Ponce on

It verifies if it applies the free Diet to glutein and casein. To my boy it works to him because it diminishes his levels to him of anxiety and allows that this but calm and kind one. The diet is to reduce the amount of foods that contain milk of cow and wheat.

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E.G.

answers from Miami on

Hey J.. I know how frunstrating it can be. Have you tried any kind of therapy such as occupational therapy? Speech therapy? YOu have to determine when exactly he is acting out. Is it when he is frustrated or maybe he is seeking sensory input. He might have auditory processing
probelems which would make him "not listen". There is always a solution to everyhting. My suggestion would be to go and get a speech evaluation as well as an occupational therapy evaluation. LEt me know where you live and maybe I could recommend a good place for you!. I hope I can help!

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R.M.

answers from Melbourne on

Dear J.,
I also have a son with ADHD, he is 10. ADHD is covered under the IDEA Act and FAPE. The school is legally bound to create an IEP for your child. ADHD is a special need. The teacher has to follow the guidlines for your child in the classroom. When my son acts out as you described for your child it is almost always related to being over whelmed and they feel defeated. In ADHD children their minds run a mile a minute and their bodies try to keep up with the misfiring of the neurotransmiters in their brain. It is a brain disorder. For my child if an assignment is lengthy and requires a lot of seat work the teacher will break the assignment down for him and he will only have to do a fourth at a time. It is very hard for an ADHD child to sit for a long time. Reward charts at school work wonders, if you complete this you get that and after a while their self esteem improves because they see all of the postive attention that they are receiving for their good work, job well done, instead of "why can't you sit still, how come you cannot behave"? All of the negative comments imprint failure on their brain and breaks their spirit. Unfortunatley some teachers and administration do not follow the IEP's and your child might fall victim to a lot of negative comments at school. Always listen to what your child tells you, ask your child what does the teacher do when you are having a hard time in class? Is she redirecting him, is she creating a positive classroom experience for him or her or is the teacher at her wits end and saying mean and hurtful things to your child? In my experience you are the only advocate for your child and more likely than not the teachers act one way in the presence of a parent and quite another when they are alone with your special needs child. There are books at the library that will be quite helpful for you on how to advocate for your child. If the teacher will realize that your child learns and responds differently then others and she adjusts his assignments accordingly he will feel empowered and you will see an extreme drop in the bad behaviors because your child will begin to see that he can do it. I hope that this was helpful, my strongest advice is to really listen to what your child says about his school day and more likely than not it is the school that needs to change what they are doing and how they are doing it to see positive results. No child or adult wants to go somewhere everyday where they know they are set up to fail before being given a chance so soar. It is sometimes the teachers that need behavioral modifications and not the child. Good luck to you and your child. R. M

1 mom found this helpful

S.C.

answers from Miami on

Good Morning J.!

Am I glad to have been invited to this site and stumbled across your email. I am a former chapter leader of the Holistic Moms Network of Broward County and been into Holistic healing for over 26yrs! Did you vaccinate your son? Did you notice anything different about your son after he received his vaccinations? Has he been this way since birth or when did it start?

I want to refer you to someone here in the Plantation/Davie area of Broward who recently opened up a center for Autisim and ADHD! Do me a favor an email me at [email protected]____.com so we can communicate and get you on the road to help for your son. YOU DID RIGHT....DO NOT PUT HIM ON ANY MEDICATIONS!

S. C.

1 mom found this helpful

J.D.

answers from Boca Raton on

This may sound harsh, but have you had him tested for Autism? If he is not responding to the medication are they even considering it's not ADHD? I would go to another doctor and get another opinion.....Is he getting occupational therapy other than the medication? what are the doctors trying to do to help?

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J.M.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I used to be a nanny for a child who was diagnosed wit ADHD. The thing is, this was years ago before the medication became so widely known and acceptable. Also, back then, in order to take he medication, it was REQUIRED that the child was also taken to couseling. It is not enough to just give a kid medicine, it has t be in conjunction with psychological counseling. The counseling helps the child relearn how to do things and what to expect from the medication. It also helps him to understand that taking the medicine does not make him less normal than other kids. You might think these are things he wouldn't think of, or that you already told him this, but when they hear it from someone ELSE, it makes a difference. As far as the child that I was a nanny for, within a year, he went from last in his class to the following year 5th in his class. We spent the whole year, including summer break and any other holiday time, doing the same things to help him get re-established with good behaviors, better study habits and the realization that he was just as smart and good as the other kids. Taking medication without coupling it with counseling is like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound...it will only help for a short term before things get worse.

I am not a doctor and I am only relating what happened to me. I am not making any type of judgements against anyone, but rather giving my viewpoint from years of experience. As a post-script, that little boy is now in college majoring in computers. In the scheme of things, that difficult 16 months of 4 times a week therapy and testing, in addition to everynight homework sessions, is a very small price to pay for such a dramatic turn around.

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K.C.

answers from Miami on

I would consider having him re-evaluated. It's possible that he was misdiagnosed. There are so many neurological disorders out there and early intervention is the key.

Does he have social issues, behavioral issues and communication issues? Did he have any speech problems, or delayed speech? These all could be possible signs of some neurological disorder or even an autism spectrum disorder such as Aspergers. I would seek another opinion as to his diagnosis.

My 12 year old son was a handful the first 9 years of his life and I was told many times that it was "poor parenting' or that he had ADHD. My son does have a degree of ADHD but his main issue is Aspergers. Due to early intervention my son has been fully mainstreamed since 4th grade and has been on the honor roll since 3rd grade.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of early intervention. I can sense your frustration and concern.I would absolutely have him re-evaluated.

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S.B.

answers from Miami on

Jennife,r my heart goes out to you and your son. This shouldn't be happening. I wonder if the special education sector of your public school system could put you in touch with screenings for sensory disorders. Your little fellow just isn't able to make the transition from home to classroom, it seems. There is a lot of support for your problem out there (in the media). Family counseling helps for many parent-child issues maybe you can find a center in your area that could help. I have had ones at a sliding scale over the years in various states. Oldest children sometimes have such a heightened sense of their responsibility and sort of a power position. He may feel"dissed" ,in the vernacular, in someway and need more validation of his feelings and attitudes. I have found that my anxiety immediately passes through to my son who is an adult and it still is true. He operates on a very different time schedule from me and cannot be pushed. He is, by the way, perfectly delightful and high functioning. All kids are not alike even though we all would find it easier if they were, and some kids won't bend. I have found that taking good care of my own stress level is the most important thing. Put your sons troubles where they belong... with him as a child still learning it all. One coach once asked me how old would your daughter have to be for you to accept her behavior and I answered 3 when she was 15 and I was told, "think of her as 3". It helped. I was more patient and she learned to grow up. I think if you take a bit of the focus off of your son,that is, don't talk about him to others, learn to say things like, "yes, he can be difficult", or "he is still learning how to play with others", or "you're the boy who doesn't like his shoes tied, I forgot". Tricks that deflect the anxiety. I heard John Bradshaw (on TV ), say," if one kid takes a plane to California and another one rides a bike, they both still get to California. The point being we all are striving for similar goals, hopefully, and how and when we get there is very individualized. And as far as drugs go check the literature for side effects. Your son might not be doing well with those particular medications. Best wishes for a healthy happy life for all of you.

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C.D.

answers from Boca Raton on

How is his sleep? I, too have 2 adhd sons, and have had excellent results (no drugs) using natural energies. Most of these children don't sleep soundly (REM sleep, which is disrupted everytime they turn over in bed). After putting my children on a Nikken magnetic sleep system, drinking pure, "living" water, breathing fresh air & sticking to a sugar free diet & taking Nikken's whole food nurticeutical supplements, my children went from 'struggling' in school & at home to making A's & B's! This was the solution I found that worked & I will be more than happy to share more with you. Feel free to contact me ###-###-#### or via email: [email protected]____.com

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C.R.

answers from Miami on

In addition to the ADHD, it sounds like your son may have some emotional issues, including anger. These issues are not anyone's fault, but it is very important to get him and the rest of the family some additional help. My suggestion would be to ask your family doctor for a referral to a good psychologist who works primarily with children. I wish you the best of luck and hope you will find the help you are looking for:)

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M.P.

answers from Aguadilla on

Greetings J.!

I’d advise you to seek for a second opinion and maybe a third opinion on your son’s condition. A good private psychiatrist who is an expert on ADHD and also a neurologist would be helpful. To really make sure if your son has ADDHD the doctor should have made several tests, among those is a Computer tomography, NMR, psychometric testing, testing thyroid problems, seizure disorders, etc... What if he was misdiagnosed? If in fact he does have ADDHD here are several tips:

1.Make sure to register him in special education mostly to make sure no one fool with his rights and your rights as a parent. Read more about ADDHD. You need to be more active and be well informed.

2.Go to: http://nichcy.org/, National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities.
a.Look into: Individuals with Disabilities Education Act Amendments of 2004 (IDEA)
b.Look into Attention-Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD). This site offers you research based studies and articles on ADDHD.
c.Make contact with a support group. This site also offers: Disability-Specific Organizations: Attention Deficit Disorder Resources - Organizations Especially for Parents. It offers you a list of these for all states.
d.Learn about Protection and Advocacy Agency in your state. Learn about your child’s Disability Rights.

You have plenty to look into. I assure you this site will help you.

Mrs. M. Perez
ESL Elementary Teacher
Aguadilla, Puerto Rico

P.S. Ask yourself: Why are the majority of the kids diagnosed with ADDHD? I personally believe most of the children have Emotional Problems rather than ADDHD. With all the hectic life, parents usually take the fast and easy road: fast food, TV nanny for hours, electronic games nanny for hours, going to bed late, waking up late and going crazy in the morning, most of my students have not experienced a nice calm homemade warm breakfast. I assure you it will start your day beautifully. Many children, many families just do not have structure in their lives.

In your case, your child is just a baby, it could even be he is not prepared to be in school and wants to be with mommy. It could be a transition. Dig into it and make sure about your child. Do not take the fast road “MEDICATION” until you are really really sure. I usually advise my parents the same.

Example: There was a student I had in kindergarten who was diagnosed with ADDHD by the school psychologist. I noticed this student usually turned his head to the side a bit every time I spoke to him. I had observed other characteristics that made me feel that he did not have ADDHD and maybe had something else. So, I asked the parent (smoothly) to have his ears checked for the reason that I thought he had problems because he usually turned his head to the side. To make this story short, it so happens that this child had one side of the brain larger than the other and he was having a couple of seizures per day. Obviously, medication was not going to work, It could have worsened the child’s condition.

This article "The great ADHD myth" will be very helpful for you too.Go to:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news....

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Z.S.

answers from Miami on

Hi J., I know how you feel. MY son was about the same age when he was first dianois with ADHD. Constant back and for with the doctor. Try changing your son's diet. With my son I had to monitor his sugar intake and any food with dyes and high in preservatives. Over the years I have learn that it is the amount of sugar and red dyes that causes alot of the aggressive behavor in ADHD kids. My son only took meds for about a year and a half before I took him of. He is now fourteen almost fifteen. There is still some challege but he is maturing.

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S.W.

answers from Boca Raton on

J.

I have 4 sons all with either ADD or ADHD. The older two I never used medeication for them. I just repeated instructions tons of times and learned to be extra patient. Punishing your son for something he can't help is not the answer. Perhaps you should change doctors. Children with ADD and or ADHD are usually extremely intellegent and gifted. You have to tap into their gifts. Music and sports are excellent releases of energy.

Take a deep breath and embrace his energy.

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W.R.

answers from San Juan on

Dear J.
I'm an elementary school teacher and have a lot of students like your son. I supposed you already took him to a psychologist. Your son has a lot of rights, one of them is having a person, the whole day at school working with him. At school he must receive some helps such as a phsychologist, special time, extra time for finishing his works, etc. Anyway you must be carefull with the medicines he's taking. Some of them make another damages, so get all the information you can.

As a teacher, I can tell you that they are very, very intelligent, so they may use this condition to manipulate others, so keep being straight and correct him whenever he needs it. Otherwise, you wont be able to get the control of the situation, he will, and this is not what we want. If you can ask the doctor to make him an IQ test, will be good. This is because sometimes this kids are just too intelligent, and teachers do not know how to work with them, so they complain. Sometimes they need harder works than the rest of the students because they get bored, and so they present a bad conduct. Check it out, he worths it. Good luck! and keep loving him the way you are because he is a special present from God. God knows you CAN DO IT !

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S.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

J.,
Chances are very, very good that absolutely nothing is wrong with your son. It is our school system that is broken. 5 year old boys are not meant to have to sit still at school all day long and then come home and sit still some more for homework. Additionally, he may have some deep frustration knowing that his brother still gets to play all day. Try giving him more unstructured ways to get his energy out and as much compassion as you can muster!
: )
S.

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S.F.

answers from Melbourne on

J.,
I am no expert, but I do have a child with ADHD. I remember the doctor telling me that a lot of times children especially are misdiagnosed with ADHD when they actually have bipolar disorder. The doctor said it's hard with children because the two disorders share a lot of the same charateristic symptoms. And sometimes a child may have both, but again because the symptoms are so similar it is hard to tell. I would talk to your doctor and see what he says. Maybe there is some additional testing he could do. I hope you find the help you need for your son, I know how trying it can be when a child has a problem and you can't do anything about it. Good Luck to you and your son.

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K.

answers from Miami on

The good thing is...there are a lot of books about ADHD out there to read. Some of what you describe does sound a lot like your son could meet criteria for ADHD. Try to think of ADHD as a lack of impulse control, basically, what he FEELS like doing, he will, and it is terribly difficult for him to stop himself, no matter what you or anyone else says. It will be crucial for him to have a consistant schedule, by the minute, with plenty of rewards built into it. A sticker for every 5 successful minutes of following the rules, for example. Lower your expectations some, it is very easy to become angry and frustrated when our children don't meet our expectations and kids pick up on our feelings more than our words. It will be essential for you to show and model dominance and control over your own emotions so that he feels safe and in control, he knows HE is not. There may be more to it than ADHD, a mental health therapist can help you and him work through some of the aggression and underlying emotions. A lot of times what starts as one diagnosis, which could be OK, becomes complicated by being labeled, feeling guilty, low self esteem, frustration at not being understood etc. I don't know who gave him the diagnosis but a certain bet is to see a pediatric neuropsychologist. ADHD is a neurological disorder and, in my opinion, is best diagnosed by this type of specialist who can differentiate the neurological from the psychological symptoms and make appropriate treatment and academic recommendations. Mom to mom, don't give up on him, keep fighting for him and whatever you do, don't blame him or yourself. Not sure of your area or financial arrangements but there are several Community Mental Health Programs who work with parents/kids with no insurance, Medicaid and HMO's who won't pay. Also you could try some University clinics to see about neuropsychological testing at a reduced cost (Carlos Albizu University, Nova SE). Best of Luck.

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S.L.

answers from Boca Raton on

You might want to check out the symptoms of Aspargars Disease. It isnt as bad as it sounds. It isnt life threatening, but, often misdiagnosed as ADHD. It is similar, but, not as severe as Autism.

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D.E.

answers from Boca Raton on

Behavior management programs can be very helpful in improving a child's behavior. Using techniques like time out (sit in a chair in an area where there is no distraction- tv toys etc. and you can see him) start a timer (ie egg timer or stove) for 5 minutes. After 5 minute process the reason for the time out (what did he do wrong, what he should have done instead, or what he needs to do now....)
Also, a star chart with a couple of target goals, (such as having appropriate behavior at aftercare, with a good report from the staff there...listen and follow directions the first time, take a good time out when told to, being a good big brother (no hitting younger brother) ) and then give a star for each goal achieved each day. At the end of the each day, reward him according to how many stars ( rewards can be things that he loves to do, play with play dough, stickers, play webkins for 20 minutes, trading cards, etc. and have a token prize for getting 1 or 2 stars, like a special bed time story) Also, have a long term goal for stars, if there is a special toy or place he would like to go, as soon as he earns 50 stars....something for him to work toward. It is important to have daily and long term goals and reinforcers.
Also, try to turn things around by giving him lots of praise and attention for appropriate behavior, and ignoring or not giving him attention for acting out behavior (and use time out for unacceptable behavior, be very neutral and matter of fact when putting on time out, with out yelling or giving a lot of negative attention. Try to "catch him being good" whenever you can. Good Luck!

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A.S.

answers from Miami on

Hello J. ,

I'm a 33 year old mom of two lovely boys 6 1/2 & 2 year old. My older boy can't stay concentrated for long period of times . He likes to talk a lot . He is in 1 & 2 grade . I was very concern thinking it might be ADHD ADD or LD . I requested from the school that I wanted him to be evaluated by the school phsycologist . Well I had that meeting this week , I was very suprised it took less than a month to have this meeting I was told it was a long and tidiues process .The Dr. said that there was nothing wrong with him . His teacher tells me he is extremely smart yet in his world. He is very socialble but his voice projection is very low . He is not aggresive to anyone . I know how you feel I thought my son had some sort of ADD or ADHD but It was confirmed by the school Dr. that he is not . I know some children may need some mediaction for thesse issues . But I would highly research all my options before giving him any meds . Did you take him to a child phsycologist ? Who diagnossed him with ADHD ? . Have the school involved and tell them your concerns and tell them you want him to be evaluated . I told the school I don't want my child lost in the school sysytem . They were very suportive to my request . Your son might have bahaivoral issues that it can be resolved with therapy . I refuse mediacation for a child that young , thosse meds are over- preicribed in the U.S.A. , More & More children are being diagnosed with ADD & ADHD without maybe not having it . My son practice Karate since he was 4 ( He really enjoys it , it give him self-esteme , confidence ) The Dr. Suggested for Homework to use a Timer ( IE 15 minutes on HW and when time is up he can get a five minute break and he can get a treat . It has work wonders for my son . Have your son in some type of activity . I definetly know how frustraiting it can be . I hope my suggestions can help you , Please keep me posted . Wish you lots of luck !!!

~ A.

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P.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

If your looking for a natural solution, try cutting out sugar and artificial coloring and see if that helps. Kevin Lehman has a good book,' How to Make Children Mind Without Losing Yours'that takes a reality discipline approach. You could also ask a health food store clerk if they know what could help, since the drug route doesn't seem to help. Since your son is 5, he may not be ready for formal classroom yet, and may resent the fact he has to be there.(It may be more of a counselling issue than a chemical imbalance issue too).

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R.F.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I am not sure but age 5 is a little young for ADHD meds. He needs a diagnosis with a neuropsychologist. It sounds like everyone that is involved with him needs a behavior modification program, Conscious Discipline is a great approach. It sounds like your son is getting a lot of negative reinforcement that isn't working. My reccomendation is to make sure he is properly diagnosed with his learning and that he is in a positive environment at school too. A pediatrician can not be the only person to diagnos ADHD. You are his only advocation, stand positive for the good things he is about. Boys have lots of energy and DO have a hard time sitting. Love him for who he is. Good luck

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L.G.

answers from Melbourne on

Hi J.,
I have a 13 year old daughter that was diagnosed with ADD when she was in the 3rd grade. I put on concerta and it worked a little, but she lost so much weight that it was healthy for her so we took her off the meds. I have a chiroprator that is also a nutrionist so I spoke to him about her condition and he recommended some natural food supplements that I bought through him. I also had an enzymes test done on her through him and what it does is tell you what enzymes is low in the body. With that test he can tell me what supplements to add to her diet. The last confersation that I had with him about her condition resulted in learning that fish oil was good for kids with ADD/ADHD. The fish oil that he recommended was from the health food store(the name of it is Nordic Naturals) it also needs to contain DHA and EPA and should be 1200mg per pill. The ones at the health food store are for children and has a berry flavor and is chewable so that they do not burp it during the day. The other supplements that she is on are OPC Synergy, Neurotrophin the are both for brain function. The other one is the one he perscribed after doing the enzymes test it is called Cataplex A-C-P. I don't where you are located, my doctor is located in Viera, FL. His name is Dr. Canuel. Again he is a chiropractor and a nutrionist. I am also trying to get my daughter to let him adjust her spine and keep in alignment because I have also heard that chiropractic care can also help children with ADD/ADHD. I hope this can help you and your son. Here is my personal email if you have any questions. [email protected]____.com.

L.

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K.J.

answers from Melbourne on

Dear J.,

I am a new mom and a teacher of 10 years. I have had up to 5 adhd students in a class at once. The parents that I saw take their child off gluten and dairy saw the most improvement in there ADHD child. MY baby is nursing and allergic to dairy protein (it is in everything even hot dogs, soy milk, and bread) so I am on this diet. It is a hard and inconvenient food plan but it works. Give him real oatmeal for breakfast with fruit (not instant), chicken breast and veggies (peas, carrots, green beans, potato, beats) seasoned only with salt and pepper. No foods with lactose or casings (even some can veggies have this) Stay with fresh meats and veggies as best you can. Bake the potatoes for french fries. Publics has a allergy free cookie brand name is "Enjoy Life" the snickerdoodels are the best. Good Luck! You will see a change in 3 days.

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V.

answers from Melbourne on

I think since he's 5 yrs old and is really having trouble with paying attention and getting in trouble frequently it may be a good idea to try and find a situation that's more flexible for him and his behavior. I have no doubt he gets angry and out of hand, although I think some teachers deal with this buy restricting so much that it just makes the child more angry and out of control. I just can't see how taking a child that has a short attention span, and wants to move around and do things, should be continuously put in time-outs and stuck under teachers thumb all the time. That restricts the very movement and activity that the child desires. I'm not saying to just let him do whatever he wants, but he should have a little more freedom.

I think many kids like this deal well with being given many short responsibilities, letting them move around a bit, and giving lots of praise when they really do something to be proud of. Don't give false praise, kids can spot that as easily as any adult, and it can cause them not to believe praise even when it is genuine. However, giving him plenty of challenges that he can do and giving genuine praise when he really does well, or improves something that he struggles with can really encourage him to do better.

I substitute at the local public schools and sometimes help out in my sons preschool. There was one child in a class I helped at the preschool last year who was known for getting in trouble, picking on kids, not listening etc. I helped in the class a couple times and he was frequently sent to time out for any number of misbehaviors. I just felt like this discipline was only working to single him out and make him feel bad about himself. That may work well for some children, but in his case I think he just needed to be more involved in his class and allowed to stay busy. In the case of his picking on others I think he should be guided to work out his problems with whomever he has an issue with. Yes he should be disciplined for hurting others, but he should also be directed to work out his own problems as should anybody.

Now that I work with students on my own a lot more, I tend to follow the above advise. I find that it works fairly well, even the kids that regularly get in trouble tend to be more cooperative, don't feel so singled out, and are able to accomplish more then if I put them in a time out or sent them to the office. Having the kids try to work out their own problems doesn't work wonders when it's only done for such a short time since I usually only see them for a day or two. Even so, I think it helps. They do seem to start getting along a bit better, and actually try to talk out their issues and misunderstandings after some guidance is offered. Just doing that seems to bring more harmony to the class, even if it is just for a day.

As for the medication. I think if it's still not working after a couple increases then other meds. need to be looked at. There are other medications available that work differently. He may just be on the wrong meds. for him, or he may need something else, different meds., behavioral management, counseling, alternative methods, etc. Any changes you make will take a while to evaluate and figure out if more adjustments are needed, so be patient. Not too patient though, if something isn't working right after a couple changes like his current meds., step in and tellthe DR exactly what you think.

The alternative methods like diet adjustment are a good idea too, just try cutting certain products one group at a time for a couple weeks and see how he reacts then try reintroducing them and see what happens. You can do this with several common problem foods to find a diet that works well for him, same goes for trying to add things that have been shown to help some. Just make sure you are involving a dr while doing this, and make sure you are not using substances that don't work well together. There are some things that can cancel the benifit of others, and some things that are toxic when used with certain other things so be careful and always have professional guidance (I am definitely not a professional).

V.

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M.S.

answers from Miami on

J.- I agree- it sounds like there is more to this than just ADHD- and you should really get more answers than just upping medication. Was he like this before he started school? YOu might want to have a pediatric neurologist, or developmental pediatrician-- even a pediatric psychiatrist- check into this. Your son is trying to tell you he is frustrated- there may be all kinds of reasons- and some of them may be related to education issues! Good luck.

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V.M.

answers from Miami on

My son is 16 and has the same problem. Contact the person at the school that handles the ADHD program and ask them about
getting him transferred to Academy High. It is all paid for
throug the state and the bus comes right to your house and picks him up. The classes are all apx 10 to 15 kids and all of them have different adhd problems. They bascially have a one on one contact with the teachers But also the teachers work well with their problems.They dont do the Fcat and they are in classes not really by grade level but by what they are capable of doing. Here is an example. My son is 16 and in the 9th grade but only does third grade work. Good Luck and also I put him on meds but they messed up his liver so I took him off, He is fine now just slow in learning.

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T.B.

answers from Melbourne on

Dear J. K
I have a son with adhd too and have experianced almost the same exact things you are experiencing now. Its not easy but its some thing that can be delt with, with alot of love and undersatanding. first of all some suggested reading would be "Driven to Distraction" and "Delivered from Distraction" by Dr.'s Hallowell and Ratey. This is where the understanding part comes in, also therapy helps. Both just the child and child with parents. You may also have to try varios medications befor you find the right one or it could be a combination of medication. I was against medicating my son and held back for a long time. I honestly wish I would have done it sooner. I hope this will help you i know what you are going through, good luck.

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A.M.

answers from Miami on

J.,

I understand what you are going through and how much patience and diligence it takes to be a parent of a child with ADHD. My son, now ten was diagnosed some years ago with ADHD. Refusing to succumb to the voices of all the impatient people around me to medicate him I found the inspiration to go back to school and finish my degree in psychology. I have also studied holistic medicine and alternative natural medications.

I first began making schedule and dietary changes. Research shows that many children with imbalances causing ADHD behavior stem from their intolerance to Yellow and Red dyes, white flour, sugar and some natural sugars and even teflon among other things we use on a regular basis.

Introducing a variety of new recipes my son could help me cook with vegetables helped tremendously and gave him a creative outlet with cooking (under supervision). We began gardening together and the physical outlet of baseball, structured sleeping and daytime schedules make life much easier.

When I also came to the realization that many children with ADHD and/or Autism have an extremely difficult time verbalizing their emotions, I started communicating more with my son and encouraging him to tell me how he felt when he became frustrated.

Then a miracle happened. Six months ago I found a natural product called Synaptol. It's a safe, natural supplement that has zero negative side affects. Taken with a healthy diet along with open communication, structured schedules, dietary changes and regular exercise, My son has become an entirely different child.

Prior to these changes and the addition of Synaptol we faced violent outbursts, fire starting, severe attention disorder, lack of focus and lack of desire to even write. I am happy to say that the outbursts now are few and far between. The fire starting has ceased. He is capable of focusing better and his grades have dramatically improved.

So, do some research for yourself and hopefully you can also teach your son to live with his disorder and not on drugs. I wish you all the best.

A.

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C.G.

answers from Miami on

J.,

I think it would be helpful to have a psychological eveluation, as there are three problems that all look alike in children. Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD. It can sometimes be hard to figure out which it is...or, it can be that he is overwhelmed with a busy schedule, may not be sleeping enough, etc. I am a Clinical social worker who has worked with MANY families with similar problems. Sometimes, just the way you word requests will change his responses. It is important to understand, however, that anger in children can be another form of depression. One helpful hint; if you are asking him anything, be sure that he is looking directly at you and you have his full attention. It may also be important to have his hearing and vision checked. He really may NOT be hearing you! I am in the Coral Springs area, and would be happy to hear from you.
C. Gross, LCSW
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M.K.

answers from Boca Raton on

J.,
Do you use products like Mr. Clean, Pinesol, bleach, laundry detergent and fabric softener? Do you spray Lysol, Pledge, Febreze and room fresheners around the house? Most – if not all – of the products under your sink contain harmful chemicals. Not only can they make you itch, cause rashes, headaches and breathing problems, they can affect your brain.

Have you seen a video called The Toxic Brew? You can watch it here: www.theglobalsuccessteam.net/resources/wmv/toxic_Brew_dsl...

On a recent CNN documentary, they talked about chemicals that are showing up in our bodies. Babies have as many as 200 chemicals in their bloodstream at birth.

On the 11 pm news on Friday night (March 21st), there will be a report on household chemicals. I just saw the promo on the local NBC channel out of West Palm Beach. It’s Channel 3 on cable here in Boca.

There’s a non-toxic cleaner for every brand name product you use today. We’ve used them for over 3 years. Even though we didn’t have the serious problems your son has, it made such a difference in our lives, we can never go back! What if it helped your son?

If you’d like to know the products we use, send me a personal message and I’ll send you the website.

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T.E.

answers from Miami on

There is a alternative healing modality called DNA Theta Healing that has had great success in clearing up ADHD in children. It is based on a simple reprogramming in the brain that is done with a simple procedure using healing energy.

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C.N.

answers from Miami on

J.,

Penni said what I would say. Diet, counseling, the book.

"Nerve Tonic" homeopathic tablets made by Hyland are what saves us. I get them at Whole Foods Market, in the homeopathic section. Any staff there will be glad to help you with that and more. Nerve Tonic is gentle but it really works to calm my sons down. You put them under your tongue and they dissolve right away. We also take fish oil blend capsules every morning, which seem to have made a real difference over time. I use the Nerve Tonic tablets, too. During the day, and when I can't sleep at night.

The boys' dad and I need alot of improvement in this area, but we have found that when we can keep a grip on ourselves, it helps the kids calm down much faster. I read alot of books on developing calm, but we are going to start family counseling as well. Stop by or call your local public school to find out if there is free anger management counseling sponsored thru a public school near you. I heard about a counseling center called The Glass House that works with families with kids with serious anger issues, and am going to look into that also.

My youngest (7) can't have anything with RED DYE in it (guaranteed that he goes BERSERK within minutes of ingesting even a small amount of anything with red dye in it), and also has to stay away from any naturally red fruit: apples, apple juice, cranberries = extreme anger and aggression.
Thank God I figured this out a few years ago when my mother-in-law gave me a paperback copy of a book called "Why Your Child is Hyper-active" by Ben Feingold, MD. The Feingold Diet is given in detail in the book. It tells about fruits and vegetables that naturally contain "salycilates", an aspirin-like natural compound that has been found to turn some children into raving monsters. My 7 year old can't even have a small cup of apple juice: he goes nutso within minutes.

RED DYE: It's all made from the shells of a certain kind of red BEETLE! (makes sense my son can't have it, I'm deathly allergic to lobster....). Red dye is in a TON of products, not just juice and candy. Best example: One little handfull of M&M's or a little bit of candy cane turns my son into a sobbing mess within minutes.

Corn syrup (in most every single product at the grocery store), wheat, or milk... could be giving your son problems. It's hard to eliminate all of that stuff at once, but maybe you could try first eliminating everything with corn syrup in it for a week, then go from there.

If it were my son, I would stop the meds ASAP, with the doctors supervision ofcourse. Unfortunately pills can't be stopped cold-turkey, but again, your doctor will know. If it were me, I would stop using it since it isn't helping anyway.

Personally what works for my kids (one ADD, the other with Tourettes) is no food coloring, no preservatives, no extremely salty stuff, and no "convenience" food like Lunchables. We take our own popcorn to the movies (home-made or Whole Foods microwave popcorn). Snacks include low-salt Goldfish and lots of other crackers and cookies from the organic section of the regular grocery store or from Whole Foods, and I use low-sodium chicken broth for cooking.

Homemade lunches are a pain in the neck, but it makes a HUGE difference with my kids. School lunches are full of preservatives, MSG, and food coloring (in the juice drinks and Italian icees). The few times I am in a rush and they eat school lunch, they are DEVILS after school. My kids have cookies and sweets daily, icecream and pudding too, but it's either from the organic section at the grocery store or from Whole Foods. JellO pudding is another one that turns my sons in to raving lunatics! They do OK with Cozy Shack pudding, Publix has that as well as Whole Foods.

What is your son having for breakfast? If you're using grocery store freezer stuff like Eggo waffles, cereal, instant oats, etc.: try not using it for a week. It's all full of corn syrup, and all of the sausage and bacon is full of preservatives. My kids would gladly live on Eggos, Aunt Jemima french toast, McDonalds egg mc-muffins, and Lunchables... but I have found all of it to cause serious behavior problems. Once in awhile I "expirement" and give them "normal" stuff: instant BONKERS.

For breakfast, I alternate oatmeal, grilled cheese, eggs, peanut butter on toast, preservative-free sausage and bacon (at Whole Foods), pizza, bagel with plain cream cheese (not the Lender's bagels from the grocery store, full of corn syrup.) And banana, orange slices, green apple slices, sliced pears, or sliced kiwi (when the price is down.) I buy jam and jelly without corn syrup from Whole Foods, too.

Last idea: look into the supplements Phosphatidylserine and Carnitine. I just recently read that one or both of these can stop ADD/ADHD symptoms in many children!!!! I am waiting on a book from Bottom Line that tells exactly how much to use for children and what brand(s). I had no luck researching online.
Let me know if you want me to e-mail you the info when I get it.
Another thing that saves me is reminding myself of all the blessing we do have, and that it could be alot worse. And remembering to BREATHE! I swear, I forget to breathe when I get really upset. And when the kids are going nuts and I remember to remind them very gently and repeatedly to breathe in big breaths and breathe out the mad, it really does help (...usually!!).
My heart goes out to you and your family, and I'll keep you in my prayers~

C. N.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

I wholeheartedly believe in 'natural' ways, but I also wholeheartedly believe in Westerm Medicine.
I would ask aroun dto find an amazing pediatric neurologist
or developmental pediatrician
or neuropsychologist/psychiatrist...

HTH!

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Y.T.

answers from San Juan on

I have been trough that to. My son is now 10. Is not easy. My brother was also ADHD, at a time when no medication was prescribed. He is now 48. You should ask your doctor to try other medications. My son is now using Sttratera and Ffocalin and works very well on him. He is a honor student. However he does not do his homework voluntarily, nor shool proyects. My brother is a doctor now, thus the patience and support my parents gave him help him a lot. Is not easy dealing with kids with ADHD, the good news is they are very intelligent people.

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