My Newborn Won't Sleep in the Crib

Woe woe woe.... 4 weeks old? Definitely nip this in the bud now. When the baby is clearly sleepy, half asleep, put him in the crib. He will probably startle and that's okay. Stay with him, caress him with your hands- his head, his belly, etc. and his pacifier (assuming you're using one, it does help.). Get a heartbeat CD or whatever makes that sound. Even a little night pal like the glow worm helps. Even if he's crying somewhat, talk to him lovingly and re-assure him that mommy is here, keep caressing him and maybe even sing a soft lullaby. His sleep will get the better of him and he will get used to it a lot quicker then you think. If he is hysterical crying, pick him back up, soothe him and put him back down-continuing the verbal soothing and touching. If he's really determined, he might get to hard crying a few times- just repeat. Exhausting and draining for you, but worth it compared to the longer term consequences of not doing so now. If he's just doing the complaining kind of crying, just keep soothing him without picking him up. Furthermore, obviously make sure he is comfortable. Diaper is changed, doesn't have gas, etc. But stick with it! Also, if you don't already have an infant swing, it is well worth it. As much as I was addicted to my new baby, I was very much aware to put her down often because I knew what probs others have had. But when they're that young, you only really have the bouncy chair thing and an infant swing. My baby is now 7 months and she is a very secure baby, great with people but fully aware who mommy is, can be by herself for extended periods of time playing happily- even if I walk out of the room. etc. You can do it! Feel free to e-mail me if there's anything else related you want to ask. Good luck!

I totally disagree with the sleep trainer responses. It is so normal and ok for your 4 week old to want to be held. I recommend getting a wrap or sling and wearing your baby while they nap and you go about your business. As your baby gets older and more ready they can graduate to a basinette, swing or crib. I also really liked The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears, lots of good info and GENTLE tips that don't involve crying it out (scientifically proven to not be good for infants).

This will pass, do what you need to do to get sleep and don't listen to people telling you that you are spoiling your precious baby by tending to his needs. At this age a baby's wants are a baby's needs; you CANNOT spoil him.

This is really hard, but let him cry for a few nights. It will be very h*** o* you but they learn quickly at such a young age. Good luck!

With my 4th child I broke down and hired a baby nurse - for that exact reason. It had been 8 days and I felt that I hadn't put him down. He nursed all the time and slept in my arms or on my chest. So this woman, or should I say angel, took him from my arms and told me that his days of sleeping against my heartbeat were over - if I ever wanted to be able to put him down that is. And with 3 others, I needed to put him down! So she put him in infant boot camp and ALWAYS put him down. On his back, side and even tummy (shhhh, don't tell anyone!)and if he cried and needed to be picked up, she soothed him and promptly put him back down. Granted, it is easy for me to say, since I wasn't the one actually struggling with it, but after a couple of days, he realized he was no longer going to get to sleep on mommy's warm chest (right next to the food source too) and he adapted. You just need to stick with it. If he is not sleeping, put him in a swing, a bouncy seat, whatever. But you must stop letting him sleep on you and dedicate a couple of days to "re-training" him. I am happy to report that my beautiful, 3 month old son sleeps for at least 2 full naps a day and then from 10-7. My only other advice is to read, if you already haven't, by Tracy Hogg, i think, called secrets of the Baby whisperer. Her theories are very similar to the baby nurse that I had and I think she was magic! Good luck.

Hi S.,
Take an old fashioned wind up alarm clock that ticks. Wrap a
blanket around it to muffle the sound a bit and put it near the baby's head. Wrap the baby nice and snug in a warm blanket and place in the crib. The sound of the clock ticking is like hearing your heart beat and being nice and snug is like being still inside you. He will out grow it but putting some rolled up blankets around him to make him feel more secure will also help.
One of your blankets would work because it smells like you.
This is a trick my grandmother taught me and I hope it allows you to get some needed Mommy time.

My baby at that age did exactly the same thing. I found then that if I held her, her naps could be extended, yet at my expense of sore arms, back, etc. I found that after holding her straight for naps for a week she slept great at night (such as 5-7 hour stretches) in the crib. I say do whatever you want to do...it will not hurt the baby or spoil it. If you do not like crying then hold her...if you can tolerate some than maybe start putting her down in her crib some of the time. All babies are different and mine takes the shortest naps of 45 minutes in the crib...though once she took a three hour nap in her car seat in the car last week. Strange what works for the moment...but remember if you plan on having more kids it is pretty difficult to always hold them while they are napping and tend to the others (especially if your little wakes from noises) But don't worry, try everything and see what works for you...I even co-slept with mine at that age for naps only (and still do occaisonally...especially since I was soooo desperate for sleep.) I never did it on a consistent basis though only when very tired from a long night of awakenings. My little one, now 4.5 months, just loves to be close to her mommy. They just grow so fast! Goodluck!

It is very normal for a newborn (0-3 mo) to need LOTS of contact, holding, snuggling, etc. As they say: You can not spoil a newborn!! Please DO NOT let him 'cry it out' at this young age!! There is a time for that, but not until he is older. I found that swaddling worked wonders for my son!! I recommend getting the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. It explains about swaddling, swinging, white noise, etc. and why they are so important in the world of the newborn. I found it to be a sanity saver and his gentle, wonderful methods WORKED!!!!! Hang in there. Hope this helps!

My advice - Try a Moses basket. The crib is a HUGE open space, and a Moses basket is a warm, cozy place to sleep. If you don't have one look at Target or Walmart for the $30 ones (there are $100+ ones out there too). My son slept in a Moses basket in our bedroom and then in the Moses basket in his crib and then when he outgrew the basket he was fine sleeping in his crib because he was used to the room already.

Also, put him into the basket when he starts to fall asleep so he gets used to falling asleep on his own - not in your arms. I would put my son in the basket and rub his belly at first, and then it got so I could just lay him down and he would fall asleep on his own.

It worked for my son, but all babies are different.

Good Luck!

try a bassinet or something. baby usually doesn't sleep in the crib for a while (3 months?). also try an infant swing or carseat or one of the bouncy seat things-i had one that fullyt reclined. welcome to motherhood!

Babies love to be close to their moms in the ifrst few months. DId you try a bassinet or a co sleeper? I put my son in a bassinet until he was 2 monts and then put him in a crib and he did great. Maybe try music in his crib or one of those vibrating crib mattress things. Good luck!

S.- First off, congrats!!! Secondly, I hate to tell you but your baby's sleeping habits are totally normal! At that age, sleeping on Mommy is much better than anywhere else. He has been inside you for nine months, and with only 4wks out of the womb he is still trying to adjust to everything- he feels safest with you. I remember how draining it was when my daughter went through that phase. My suggestion to you is when you feel you need sleep too, let him sleep on you. And at other times keep trying to lay him down for naps wherever he sleeps at night. In other words, if he is sleeping at night in a bassinet next to your bed, then have him take his naps there- right now that is where his association with sleep is. My daughter was three months old before she started sleeping in her crib. They are still sorting out day and night and everything in between, hence the various sleep times. He probably won't establish nap times until about three months. Hang in there!

Good Luck,
S.

S. - newborns are very needy in that they need to feel secure, so it's not surprising that your newborn feels safest when close to you. Their sleep and food needs can change any day - they don't start establishing a pattern until they are closer to 3 months. Be patient and if you can, just adjust yourself to his cues. You simply cannot spoil a newborn - they are still trying to cope with a new life out of the womb.

My baby girl is almost 9 weeks and she sleeps in our bed at night with a sleep positioner so that she doesn't get into our pillows. We can put her down when she naps in the morning but she tends to want to feel close to us in the afternoon or evening, so we either cuddle her or put her in a sling. You are lucky that you get hour-long naps!

With regards to fuss - if your boy is crying and cannot be consoled, just go through this checklist first: 1) I need to be fed; 2) I need to be changed; 3) I need to be held. Sometimes they just have to cry to get rid of excess energy/emotion. I hold my girl close and talk to her while she cries at times like these. She also had a milk protein sensitivity so she got really gassy - I now don't eat dairy and will stick with that for another month and then see if she outgrows it.

all i can say is enjoy your snuggle time with your baby. my son didnt even go into his crib till 3 months. he wouldnt sleep in his bassinet much either, always wound up on my chest, in my arms etc...the first 4 months of life are what they call "the 4th trimester" and your baby very much needs to be as close to you as possible. enjoy your baby, cuddle, love, sing to your baby becuase you will blink and your baby will be walking and talking! also, when you do put your baby into a crib, buy the sleep positioner from babies r us, helps your baby feel "snuggled" while in the crib.

Oh S., my daughter will turn 1 next month and it seems like only yesterday that I had the same issue. A crib feels awful large and maybe a little scary to a 4 week old. I would first try swaddling and then maybe a bassinet to mimic your womb. Do not let him cry, he is too young for that. Oh, don't tell anyone this :-), but I put her to sleep on her tummy, she hated sleeping on her back and would cry until I turned her over. Congrats on your little guy.

Both my kids were like this. It was like they just weren't comfortable in this world unless they were touching me. They both slept between me and hubby for the first month or so. Put him in a carrier like the bjorn or snuggli so your hands are free. He will outgrow this. Remember you bring him comfort and security. Set up your pack and play by your side of the bed. Every night once he's asleep move him to the pack and play. If he wakes move him back to your bed. Eventually he'll stay there. Then once he's comfortable in the pack and play you can start with the crib. Sometimes they just need to be able to smell you and hear your breathing. This is just a phase.

Hi S., Did you try swaddling or using white noise? There is a book by Dr Karp that gives advice on this matter and swaddling and white noise helped my twins alot. The book is called The Happiest Baby on the Block. Also, I didn't have them in cribs until they were three months. I used bassinets and they always napped in the swing when they were that small or even the bouncer. The Fisher Price papson swing was very comfortable for them. I felt that since the bassinets were smaller they would feel more secure. The swaddling really calmed them down especailly at your son's age because they are so new to the world are are so used to being inside the womb. Good luck and I hope it gets better. They grow so fast that nothing is ever forever. They change constantly but try to enjoy it all!!I.

Hi S.,

Try putting a pillow or something soft with your scent on it right next to him that he can snuggle up to. Or wrap him in on of those snuggle sleepers to make him feel like he is being held. Also, are you putting him to bed on a full stomach or after a warm bath/"wipe down"? Doing this may help with the sleeping. This may also help, but I know some of the other mothers will disagree with me. Put him to sleep on his stomach. That worked for me.

Hi S.,

My daughter did not sleep in her crip until she was around 4 months old.. most newborns sleep in a bassinet, that is where my daughter slept.. they like the tightness and closeness.. they are use to being all curned up inside of your stomache.. they need to feel the closeness around them that is why they say put them in a bassinet swaddled in a receiving blanket for the first few months.. they will not like the crib because there is so much space it. It is too big for them to feel the comfort level they require.. that is my opinion anyway.. I hope it helps.. good luck.. D.

With the exception of the baby nurse I think it would just be cruel to put down your infant. If as a mom you're too warn out to make milk & otherwise care for your baby you do need some help. I had major complications & would have welcomed a baby nurse but other then that I would not put my daughter down. They're too young to be spoiled but if there's another person, event the dad, that will give you a chance to sleep I would take the opportunity to care for yourself.

Congratulations on your new addition. Now, turn off your computer so you can really be present where you are most needed.

Kim

Warmth: Perhaps a warm water bottle to heat the blankets (underneath). Draw curtains to remove drafts.

Soft: A very soft warm blanket to lay on and on top. Wearing very soft warm pj's as well. Not too hot for too much sweating, but warm and soft.

Rhythm: Soft music to stimulate to child in a state of calm sleep (ocean or soft drums - something repetitive just like that of heart beat although it doesn't have to sound like one). Music is also used to soothe moms and baby camels in Asia.

Hope this helps.

Love and light,
C. K.
www.advancetohealing.com

I have a 15 week old. Because of his initial protest over sleeping in a crib or bassinet, I let him sleep on (or, as he grew) across my chest. Especially because I was breastfeeding, this turned out to be a great interim solution. A baby is a very cuddly sleep companion. Once your baby hits 12 weeks, you can train him to sleep in his crib with a variet y of methods, but until then, I recommend letting him sleep on you (unless you are obese, on medication or drugs that would inhibit your ability to be aware of him if you rolled on him or something.) I think Askdrsears.com has info about safe co-sleeping practices. Good luck.

Hi S.,
I have no idea if your child has the same reason for not sleeping as my daughter did. But, I'll tell you what I had to do, and it worked. My daughter could only sleep if she felt like she was being held snuggly. So, she slept ok in the hospital, when she was swaddled (which I never mastered, so that was not an option after I got home). And, the only other places she would sleep was her swing or her car seat. This went on for the first few months. Often, I was up in the middle of the night strolling her back and forth through my house with her in her infant seat in the stroller. Then I would wheel the stoller into my room and quietly crawl back into bed. No matter what I did, though, she still only slept for about 2 hours at a time when she was just a few weeks old. She was also a preemie, so she had to eat smaller amounts more times a day. Which, of course, meant that she was not sleeping for as long of stretches as other babies. Good luck! I know how tough this can be.
By the way, everything WILL work out eventually. Just hang in there!

My daughter wouldn't sleep in a crib either for the first few months but she did sleep in her car seat. So, we but the car seat in the crib and she slept great. I think it was mild colic and she was uncomfortable lying flat on her back.

Well my 3 month old is the same way. We took her to the Dr the other day, she has bad gas issues, she has to take gas drops. While in the office though the Dr. preformed a rectal exam on her, let me tell you the explosion that occured. You might want to start with the gas drops, she might just be very bloated, because since that day my daughter has been an absolute dream, still not sleeping on her own, but at least now she's sleeping! lol Good luck.

why not continue to cosleep? i promise you he will sleep better next to you. there was this article that said new moms lose an average(so some less but some MORE) of like 360 hours a sleep the first year. so if he sleeps fine with you, keep doing it as your sleep wont suffer as much, you will be able to tend to his needs sooner, resulting in him getting back to sleep quicker.

the nap thing- my first took 20 min naps for the first several months then only went to under an hour. friends kids slept 3 hours and they had to wake them or they would continue to nap. all babies are different, but if he takes 2 hour naps sometimes, you arelucky. my 3 month old has probaly slept 2 hours about 5 times in her life.

do yourself a favor to help with this and in the future. go to thebabywearer.com and get a good carrier. i promise you it can help.

also try swaddling(miracle blanket is great) and a white noise machine. dont worry though, 4 weeks is so young, he will be changing it up before you know it.

I would recommend getting a moses basket with a stand. OUr baby wouldn't sleep well in the bassinet next to the bed. We haven't even made our way to the crib yet, and we found its just too big and too much space for a newborn right. He loves to be swaddled, more confined and feel like he's in the womb and the moses basket is a tight snuggly fit and he ends up sleeping longer, hes more relaxed and doesn't cry alot when he's in it. My husband and I were just talking about it tonight and saying how it is the best item we have for keeping the baby calm. I would highly recommend it until you reach the weight limit. The crib is probably just too big for now.

Hold your baby if you can. You can't spoil a baby for the first 3 months of their life and he needs to know that you're there. He'll have plenty of time to sleep by himself. I just had my second baby and he was the same way. We waited until he was 3 months old before we started letting him cry it out. Now he cries UNTIL we put him down and won't cuddle with us at all. :( I miss the days he used to sleep on me. Enjoy it while it lasts! Also, have you tried a sling or carrier like a Snugli? They just need to feel close to you but this way you can do what you need to as well. That helped me. I was still able to play with my daughter while he slept on me.

Welcome to new motherhood. My first baby wouldn't sleep on her own, off my body, until she was 5 months old, and then when awake she was on top of me until she was 18 months old. Wouldn't let anyone else hold her, either, not even her father, until she was almost 2 years old.

I always repeated to myself, "This too shall pass." and it always did. Just remember they are blessings and the time really does go by too quickly. I look back now and miss terribly the time she was a tiny baby.

S.,
Trust that this will pass as all things do. Keep your baby close to you and enjoy this time, even though it feels exhausting at moments. Try a sling if you need to get things done while holding your little one. Before you know it he will be crawling and you'll be on to the next set of problem solves. You can work on getting him to sleep in his crib with some time. There really is no rush. Remember he just left the womb and is transitioning into the world.
Blessings

He needs warmth, comfort, movement and a sense of being held; all things he had in the womb.

Swaddle him, give him a pacifier, white noise (fan, humidifier, my son liked the vacuum), darkness, try a swing. He is brand new and he needs helps feeling comfy cozy. This stage will not last long. Try and enjoy it.

A.

I wouldn't necessarily worry about transitioning your newborn to the crib this early, though I am not in your shoes so don't know what your family situation is. The AAP states that the safest place for a baby is in the parents' room in a separate bassinet or crib...now, we flouted this with the baby in our bed, too, and felt perfectly comfortable doing that for a while. After DS's colicky period settled down after about 6 weeks, he slept in a pack n play in our room until we transitioned him to his crib at 4 months, almost without a hitch! Most of the danger of SIDS passes between 4-6 months and that is the main reason we kept him in our room (well that and I wanted to be close to him). I ended up agreeing with my husband to try the transition at 4 months because since DH really didn't want to permanently cosleep or share a room (and who knows, maybe it would have grated on me eventually too), I thought we should try to make the switch before separation anxiety sets in at around 6 months. It turned out to work perfectly for us.

3 to 6 weeks of age is *prime* colic time, I wouldn't worry that your baby needs a lot of holding and extra TLC right now. They are designed to need that from us. Just because your baby seems very needy right now doesn't mean you need to panic. 4 weeks is SO little! As for needing to be held all the time...DS was super-colicky between 3-7 weeks and during that time I took to carrying him in a sling or wrap (found the wrap a little better on my back). I didn't have him in it all the time, just when he was fussy or having trouble sleeping. It kept him happy, was an easy way to carry him around on public transportation, and now at 7 months he is perfectly happy to be carried OR in a stroller - he doesn't have to be worn 24/7.

My advice, without knowing you or your situation, is that your baby is telling you what he needs - and the sooner you give it to him, the happier everyone will be. Babies that young don't know how to manipulate - most child psychologists say that most babies don't even understand discipline or the concept of being told 'no' until almost a year old. He won't need this much from you forever. I went through a similar thing with my DS where when he was newborn I read a book about keeping him on a schedule (even as a breastfed baby!) - well man, was he unhappy and so was I! At the time I 'gave in' I felt like I was sowing the seeds for him to be needy and undisciplined, but as soon as I took to holding him when he cried and nursing on demand we were all so much happier.

Good luck.

Have you tried a bassinet next to your bed at night or int he room your in during the day? I put my daughter in the bassinet or her car seat and she wopuld sleep fine. Also if You sleep with the crib sheet then put it on the crib so it smells like you. I didn't put my daughter in her crib until she was about 4 months old and I had to sleep with her blanket then give it to her. Hope this helps! A.
PS Just last night there was a news article about the dangers of sleeping with your baby in your bed. I would HIGHLY recommend against taking the baby to bed with you. In New York alone there has been 13 infant deaths this year from suffication of a baby cosleeping with the parents. Please be careful if you choose to do that. The Bassinet keeps baby very close but safe at the same time.

Hi S.,
My newborn initially slept in his crib, but ended up preferring to sleep in his carseat (which we placed in his crib at night so he'd be use to sleeping in it). Turned out he was allergic to the first two formulas we had him on. The slightly sitting up position of the car seat seemed to help him. Then around 4 or 5 months he started sleeping in the crib just fine and he was use to his surroundings because we'd placed the car seat in there. Here's another idea. . . are you breast feeding? Maybe if you eat garlic, onions or something else spicy, it could be effecting the new little digestive tract :o) Good Luck.

Welcome to mommyhood! Your baby is TOO YOUNG to cry it out. He is used to being cradled in your womb. So he has a big adjustment to make. Put him in a smaller space to sleep (bassinet, pack in play, or swaddle). It's normal for babies to sleep whenever and wherever they want the 1st 2 months. You won't spoil him if he sleeps with you. He doesn't know the difference yet and is just looking for comfort.
At first both of my boys slept with me when they wouldn't sleep in their crib. Now they are wonderful sleepers and they haven't been in my bed since they were 2 months old (one is 2 yrs old and the other is 6 months).
As for a nap schedule...your baby won't be on a "schedule" for at least another month. Plus, right when you think you have a schedule down, he'll go and change it on you. Believe me, I'm big on schedules with both of my kids. But you just have to learn to be flexible.
It will get easier! Good luck!

S....
I'm a mom of 3, which by no means makes me an expert, but I would embrace the fact your baby wants you to hold him...Cherish every minute of this "brand new baby" stage...
I know it is tough to get things done, and that you're tired...but eventually he will sleep in his crib. Maybe try his car seat so you can get some things done. I wouldn't worry about it...it is exhausting, that I know 3 times over, but it goes by soooo fast - and don't worry about spoiling your baby - you can not do that at this young age. I guess I don't believe in the whole letting babies cry it out thing!

Best wishes to you and baby!
J.

my 5m old did the same thing! i loved having her sleep on me, but since i also have a 3 year old who needed me all day, it wasn't that easy to do all the time. for a nap once, i tried putting her on her stomach in the crib (i know, bad bad mommy), and keeping a VERY close eye on her, and she slept beautifully! for a few weeks i'd struggle at night, but put her on her stomach during the days so i could watch her. finally i felt comfortable enough by watching her (she'd always turn her head to the side, etc.) that i started putting her in that way at night. she's been a great sleeper since. i know the recommendations can drive you nuts, but i'm as paranoid as they come and it worked for us. good luck!

How do you feel? Are you breast feeding? On demand?Do you have support? 4 weeks is a little young to be expected to sleep in a crib. Was he a preemie? My son woke up every two hours for about a year.

My other two were not as clingy. But perspective and what you need as personalspace is the issue. My youngest I breast fed exclusively and she was a good sleeper. Better than the other 2.

Cradle next to our bed until they were about 6 months old for all of them. Sleeping on chest for 2 the 3rd yes carried around. Tactileness is very important for an infant

You don't mention swaddling? My kids LOVED the swaddling technique when they were newborns. If you would like me to elaborate...please let me know,
Good luck!!
G.
P.S. My kids were all on a set schedule for naps and were sleeping thru the night after 2 months old.

I've often heard, and was the case with my daughter, that the first 3 months of a child's life is really the fourth trimester. Your baby basically lives on you, but on the outside. We didn't even try a crib until 4-6 weeks...one nap at a time. I can relate to you! My daughter would only sleep 20-40 minutes at a time, and only ON me. We had to find little combinations to help her. Swaddling, white noise, dancing... things that soothed her to sleep, and putting her to sleep IN her crib helped. She was always awake when I put her down and actually fell asleep in it. That way the crib was a safe, happy, sleepy place to be. Keep trying, and hang in there. This is the tough time, but it'll get easier!!

In order to change the "behavior" of your very small child, you have to change yours. You say the Baby won't sleep unless he is laying on your chest? And you said you are always holding him...Hence, what do you expect?
He will begin to sleep in his crib when you start putting him down to sleep and walking away...It is you that find difficulty in him sleeping in his crib...for goodness sake, he is only 4 weeks old. If you don't change your behavior, it will get worse for you as he gets older... If he will only sleep on your chest, how do you as a Mother, Homemaker, etc... manage that? He will only sleep laying on "the" bed, No he will only sleep laying on the bed 'cause you put him there instead of his own bed...PUT him in his crib!!!! Oh, he's very Fussy, huh? Let me think about that for a moment...
Ok, he is fussy because Mommie is making a Fuss because he won't sleep in his crib! Laying on Mommies chest, being held all the time and the shock to that precious 4 week old of being put in a "cold" crib verses a warm chest...That precious child has your number, already! You said he only sleeps 2 hours, he will sleep longer if YOU stop holding him and LET him SLEEP! Put him in the crib, walk away, have a cup of coffee and "YOU" young lady put yourself in "TIME-OUT"... That being said, I know you can do this, and I know you needed to hear this tongue lashing and most likely other Mothers will tell you the same. I am adding this last line after reading other responses, yes, Love and Hold the baby, but don't forget you need to rest and re-group yourself in order to be productive and to be the best Mother you can be...

Happy Mother's day,

CC