My Newborn Wants to Be Held 24/7 - San Clemente,CA

Updated on September 13, 2010
H.H. asks from San Clemente, CA
25 answers

So I use the carrier, but seriously, I just want to be able to set her down a few times a day so I can move around and do my own thing. I've forgotten, does this phase pass, or is this just a real snuggly needy baby. It seems to my my first just lived in the swing when I wasn't feeding her or playing with her.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

the more i think about it, the more I remember that my first did not need this much all day holding/ carying. She has and still has an independent streak. I think this is just going to be my cuddly, sweet baby. I always wanted one of those and was warned "be careful what you wish for". So here I am with my snuggle bug and boy, is it taxing. I will enjoy it and just thankful i have a husband, a housekeeper, and family to help me along.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes it will pass! Read watch the dvd "Happiest baby on the block" it gives some good tips on babies like this.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.G.

answers from Houston on

It does pass- but for my son it didn't pass until he was crawling. I invested in some baby carriers too because he wanted to be held constantly. The only break I got was the swing, which fortunately he tolderated.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

It could just be the personality, but it does pass. You also have to get used to putting the baby down and be ok with a little minor fussing from them if they don't like it. I was much better at this with my second than my first. I would just try to put the baby down for short periods of time each day and get her used to it a little...it'll pass!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Orlando on

that baby needs you to hold her. my second was like that. it does pass, now he is two and running away from me all the time!!
just hold your baby and get a good carrier or wrap you are very comfortable with.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from Boise on

It will pass.....savor this time, you'll miss it someday soon! ;)

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

As my grandmother used to say: "This too shall pass!" Enjoy that pure baby smell... I sure do miss it!!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Treasure this time. It will pass soon-- she may be a snuggly baby, but won't be like this F.. Give her what she needs. But if you need to put her down, put her in a bouncy seat or vibrating chair. Most babies love movement-- these chairs were always great for me. Congrats!

Molly

3 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

My younger child needed (NEEDED) to be swaddled when we weren't holding her. Some babies have a hard time adjusting to the feeling of being "alone." Swaddling may help your little one adjust to the outside world whenever you need your hands free!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Well at 9 years old she will be in fourth grade and you won't be so cool. By the time she is 13 you are a monster and should stay far away and at 15 you know NOTHING, at 18 she is gone.
Enjoy her now. I know it's not always easy, i had needy babies too, both my boys. The girls not so much.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.U.

answers from Detroit on

It is often hard for newborns to adjust to not being carried around - they have spent 9 months being carried around inside of you, and that movement and the sound of your heartbeat is comforting to them. It is also scary for them when they kick their arms and legs and feel like they are flailing in space. I ditto the swaddling. It can help make your baby feel much more snug and secure.

Depending on if you are breast feeding, and how it's going, and what your personal feelings are, you can also try offering a pacifier. I was breast feeding my daughter when she was a newborn and had been told I could not give her a pacifier because she would get confused, but the problem was she wanted to nurse ALL THE TIME and it was more about comfort than nourishment. The pediatrician said it was fine to offer it since the breast feeding was going really well and it worked like a charm.

Sometimes "white noise" can help too - a fan, or you can get a special CD that just plays sounds like ocean waves, heartbeats, etc.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.G.

answers from Davenport on

I was also going to suggest swaddling. It was the only thing that worked for my son.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.L.

answers from Columbia on

My daughter was the same way, it went away somewhere around 6 months.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had to smile when I read your post. A couple of days ago I posted how I’m feeling so sad about my DS starting school, playing sports and started falling asleep all by himself.

When he was a baby he literally was in my arms 24/7 for the first 6 months I believe. Yes, I also co-slept with him! That seems so long ago….. At that time I was feeling like you “Gosh can I get just one second to myself to at least go pee??!!!” LOL !!

Now here I am feeling sad that he doesn’t seem to “need” me as much because he’s a big boy now! What I would do to get those days back that all he wanted was for me to hold him.

Basically in answer to your question - Yes this does pass a little to fast if you ask me!!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.F.

answers from Boston on

I was the opposite, my babies got sick of me holding them.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

I am experiencing this right now, too! My first was great with just being swaddled, or sitting in the swing or the bouncy seat. She also liked being in her car seat and going for rides in the car. My 6 week old is not at all like her sister. It's not movement she craves, it's just touch. And swaddling isn't enough. She could be as snug as a bug in a rug, but if I'm not holding her, she'll scream her lungs out - not just fuss a little, I mean cry hard. I've been wearing her lots, but I must admit that it sure is hard to get some things done, even with her in the sling or the other carrier I have. And I have been desperate for a nap the past few days, but she'll only sleep (during the day - nights have been great) in my arms. With my first, I'd often nap when she napped, but not with my new baby. Good luck. I suppose, as some of the moms have said, that they'll be through this stage before we know it. Then when they're older, we'll wish we could get it all back.

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I bought this big ball like thing that is a modern day been bag chair. I bought it for the kids, but it's turned out to be valuable for use with my daycare babies and my own granson. The insides are made up of cut up foam like what is in furniture. So when you fluff it and then punch down a spot in the middle, the baby slowly sinks down in it until they literally feel as if they are being held.

A lot of people are completely against any television or videos for babies. But all the supposed studies are complete hogwash. I've helped raised so many babies through the years that I've got all the real life data needed to know my babies are very smart, well adjusted, and not at all addicted to television. Most of my infants stay with me from birth to school and are reading some by the time they go. I slide this "big ball" in front of the tv and put it on learning shows. By babies are completely comfortable until the next time they fill their pants.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Totally common..i went through it..my son wanted to be on me 24/7 too ..they call this phase the 4th trimester..something about human babies not being ready to be born but are too big to stay in the womb so they're very clingy the 1st 3 months...it got a lot easier at 3.5 months..here are some tricks..if you are breast feeding then nurse baby on a FIRM pillow or the bassinet mattress..then carefully carry baby on pillow/mattress and place him/her into bassinet on the pillow/mattress and sneak away..that worked for me a lot..you have to have a bassinet ..my friend gave me one when my son was 2 months..best thing ever..now they have the kind that rock..
but i had to wear my son and to me the 1st 3.5 months are the hardest...it only gets easier ..though its still tough but not as tough as the beginning..be strong..this will pass

xo

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

That was me a few months ago. He lived in my arms for 4 months, but he slowly adjusted to longer periods of time in the swing and swaddling him up definitely helped even if it was just for 15 mins so I can do the laundry or wash the dishes. Congratulations on your baby and this won't last forever. It gets better! She just loves when you're around.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

some babies are just more high-needs than others.

i did not put my daughter down for the 1st 6 months of her life. it just stressed her out too much. she needed the constant contact.

she is now a smart, independent, though still anxious, almost 5-year old.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Reno on

If your baby is small enough still, try using a sling instead of a regular carrier. It helped a lot with mine, being able to have them nestled against me. They slept better and I also didn't have little limbs flailing into everything I was trying to do (like dishes and cooking...). Treasure this precious time. You will miss it when it's over.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.C.

answers from San Francisco on

It is not good to hold your baby too much. If she cries, let her cry, it's good for her lungs. I have only 1 child and am a single mom, when I had him I didn't hold him 24/7 I had things to do and wasn't going to be holding him all the time. Once you start holding them too much, it's going to be really hard for you in the future to sit her down and do things, she gonna scream all day and want you to hold her!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Dallas on

They grow up so fast. I know it's hard, but I agree with the posts that say to enjoy her cuddling now. I have a 5 1/2, a 3 1/2 and another cesarean scheduled 17 days from today:). The other day my 3 year old actually fell asleep on me! It was so sweet and I realized even more how much I miss cuddling. My 5 year old is still into hugs but they certainly won't always want me around so much.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Wausau on

It passes just seems like forever, my 4 month old spend less then half the time in my arms now. Remember they have been carried constatnly for 9 months they need to be gradually weened off. Enjoy the time while you have it. 3 months of not getting anything done is minimal in life. congrats on your new little one!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

My 2 mo old loves to be carried as well, but I haven't been able to do the swaddle thing... just never was able to figure them out. But he is starting to get better about giving me a little time. It does pass!

With my kids they all liked sleeping on their bellies more then their backs & for him to sleep he has to have his head touching the basinet. But he also cuddles up to me with his head under my chin... so I think it just makes him feel safer. And I can only get him to sleep by rocking him and then putting hin to "bed".

Good luck & congratz on the little one!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions