My Mom and Her Memory

Updated on January 19, 2011
A.B. asks from New York, NY
18 answers

Hi Ladies. My mom is 73 and in good general health aside from a few aches and pains. She is an avid reader, plays scabble and can do all math, percentages, fractions, divsion etc in her head. So here is the deal. For about 6 months she'll call me at like 9am and tell me something. She'll then call back a few hours later and repeat verbatem the same exact thing she told me just a few hours earlier. When I say , "ma you told me this already" she either gets defensive completly denies it or gets mad that she just hangs up. Now we are all guilty of repeating something every now and then. But this is daily and I am wondering is this just an age thing or should I be more concerned? Any thoughts?

*** addition** so far you are all saying what I have been thinking, but I have been around Alzheinmers and this doesn't appear to be that, so far anyway, she isn't confused, her house is in order and she is bossy as always. Her parents died very old grandma 93 sharp as a tack till the last day and grandfather 103 perfect till his last breath. I know I'm in denial. I dread the conversation suggesting she get checked, but you are all right. Ugh

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

Yes. My grandma did this exact same thing. It was early signs of Alzheimer's. There are meds to help slow down the progression and you can also help with a controlled diet. I'd have her examined by a professional ASAP to help get this under control sooner rather than later.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.J.

answers from New York on

I am sorry I don't have any advice. I just want to send you a hug because I can't imagine how incredibly hard this must be. Hugs, hugs, hugs!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.T.

answers from Peoria on

You should be concerned. I say that not to worry you, but it sounds like she may need evaluated by a physician specializing in geriatric medicine. I work for such a doctor, and your mother may be in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. Please don't panic - I am NOT a doctor and am in no way trying to diagnose. I just see a lot of patients come through with these symptoms. Not just the memory loss, but getting defensive and denying the problem. I know it will be hard to get her to do this, especially if she does not believe there is a problem, but maybe if you sit her down and explain your concerns to her and tell her that you are only doing this because you love her dearly, she may come around. There are some wonderful new medications that may be able to help her memory.

Good luck, and please keep us posted on how she is doing.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

On the news last night they were speaking about Pres. Regan and the question of when he should have been diagnosed.

The doctor they had as a n expert said.. "Forgetting where you placed your keys is part of getting older. Forgetting what the keys are used for is Alzheimer's."

She says 50% of people that have memory loss end up diagnosed with Alzheimer's and the other just have some short term memory loss which is normal as we all age.. ~ I resemble this remark, hee, hee..

I do think you could suggest she visit her doctor and see if he can prescribe some special "vitamins" or something.. just so he can at least document this stuff..

The other way to see how she is functioning is to go to her home and see what condition it is on and try to see if her bills are being paid.. that is one of the first signs of losing capabilities.. Maybe even have her drive you somewhere and see how she does..

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.T.

answers from Chicago on

My grandmother was diagnosed with Dementia in a similar situation. Have her evaulated right away- she will probably insist that there is nothing wrong, but just reassure her that its better to be safe than sorry.

In my grandmother's instance, she has not had planned and throrough care because my Aunt who is the legal caregiver refused to do her homework. If she is diagnosed make sure you make a plan for her care and educate yourself!! It can be a lengthly disease (my grandmother has had it for 10+ years now) and can be difficult to handle on your own.

Best wishes to you and your family

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.B.

answers from Toledo on

Forgetfulness isn't Alzheimer's, it's a common symptom of aging. Looking at 3 objects on a table and not being able to identify the pen is more symptomatic of Alzheimer's. She's probably scared when you tell her she forgot something, so she gets defensive. Maybe a couple of family members could speak to her together, and get her to talk to her doctor. Offer to go along for support. If there's nothing serious, everyone will feel better, and if something's going on, it can be addressed. My husband and I both laugh after talking to our moms every week---they both tell us the same stuff over and over AND OVER. The best part is, we can do the same, and they don't seem to notice!

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Is she on any cholesterol lowering medication?
I was on Lipitor and then Zocor for a few years and I had a horrible reaction to it. I never would have known it if I hadn't run out of my mail order prescription and had to do without for 2 weeks. I was in my late 30's and my hips, fingers and joints were killing me. I thought I was getting arthritic. Also my memory was degrading very badly. I once drove down a road I traveled on a regular basis for 10 years and suddenly I had no idea where I was. 15 min later I was ok but it was scary. I'd get things on a shopping list and completely forget I'd already purchased those items the day before.
When my prescription ran out and I was off the medication for 3 days my joint pains disappeared. My scores on anagram games tripled. I felt better than I had felt in years. And then my refill came in. I began taking the medication and within a week I was limping again. Finally I just stopped taking it altogether and had a talk with my doctor. She would not believe the medication was causing the side affects. I told her it was simple as far as I was concerned. I take the drug and my memory and joints are shot. I don't take the drug and I feel great. Cholesterol levels be darned, it was a quality of life decision. I walk a mile a day now and my memory is as good as it ever was.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.E.

answers from Sacramento on

first check her medication. elders need lower doses as their bodies process slower, so she could be suffering from medication overload. next check her nutrition. malnutrition is common in elders and can cause confusion. there are soooo many types of dementia it's scary! my mom has frontotemporal dementia, which only affects the frontal lobe and the front of the temporal lobes. you could ask her physician to administer a MMI (a mini-mental exam) now to establish a baseline for further tests. also, if she has a MRI, it wont show all types of dementia. my mom had to have a PET scan to show the frontotemporal. good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.Q.

answers from New York on

Many of the older people in my family usually end up retelling the same "news" over and over again when their daily life becomes too routine. BUT it also tends to "clear up" when they are doing a variety of things or interacting with more people.

Others have suggested alzheimer's and medication-- definitely have her get a "check up" just to make sure everything is alright (have the doctors double & triple check meds & vitamins & any OTC medicine she may be taking too).

Also watch and see if your mom hasn't gotten herself in a rut (ie a too routine life) where she is not actively using her mind or interacting with a variety of people. Maybe a new hobby, enrichment class, some volunteer work or just a vacation is in order to get her synapses working. If you and your family are her only social outlets, definitely try to get her involved with something outside the home.

1 mom found this helpful

C.A.

answers from New York on

My mother in law did the same thing. She refused to go to the dr's and now she has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. Get her checked now before it's too late. There are medications out there that can slow the progression. My mil is on them but not taking them properly. My fil puts her pills out for her and she insists that she already took them. She repeats herself constantly. If I were you just act like she never told you the news. This will frustrate her and she will refuse to go to the dr's. Find out if there is a history in her family of alzheimers. Look up the symptoms and see if she has any of them. If she can rattle off the past like it was yesterday but cannot remember yesterday or a conversation that you have had then I would get her checked out. They do it by simple blood test. Do it now. Don't wait.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I haven't read the other responses, so I may be duplicating them.

It wouldn't hurt for your mom to be checked for the Nasty A, but it would be better if it were her idea - to get checked to be sure she *doesn't* have it.

I'm, um, a few years younger than your mom, and I do strange forgetting things. That's the reason I had six new jars of ground cinnamon in my cupboard at one time. Do you know how many loaves of cinnamon bread have to be made to use up six jars of spice? But when I went to the grocery, my brain kept saying, "You need it," instead of "You've bought it," because I wasn't working from a grocery list. I'll rush around putting things away to tidy up, not really thinking about what I'm doing, and later on I'll have no idea where I put those things. (I should have paid attention.) And, of course, calling the children or grandchildren by each other's names....

I dare say your mother is worried about Alzheimer's. Everybody from age 45 up seems to be worried about Alzheimer's. That could be where her defensiveness comes from. Let her know you love her and want her to be the healthiest and happiest she can be. Let her know that if the A. were to happen to her, you would still love her and you would never let her down.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from New York on

We have a friend of the family who is 80. She was an office manager for over 30 years . . . but started having memory problems about 3 years ago. It started off as little memory lapses . . . but got worse everytime I talked to her. She would call me ask me what I was doing, if I wanted to go to lunch. I'd tell her that I couldn't that day . . . and literally 10 minutes after hanging up . . . she would call again and ask me the same question. There were days she would call me three or four times in a row. I finally mentioned it to her sons and they brought her to the doctor. I don't think they've diagnosed her with Alzheimers . . . but she's on medication for her memory issues. I take her out to lunch at least once a week . . . and those couple of hours I'm with her she'll ask me the same questions over and over, so we end up having the same conversations a few times during our visit. There are times when she gets confused or rattled . . . for example she misplaced her pocket book once when I went to pick her up . . . and I went to help her look for it. She looked in the same exact places probably ten times . . .then she would ask me what we were looking for . . . then she would get upset and ask what she's doing to do without her pocket book, etc. In the beginning it was just the repeating herself a couple of times . . . now it's a lot worse. She can get dressed in the morning and when I pick her up she seems fine until she starts asking me the same questions over and over. But if you put her in the middle of the store with five things on a shopping list . . . she gets confused and will walk around aimlessly not knowing what she's looking for. So it sounds like your Mom may be having symptoms like my friend did in the beginning . . . but keep an eye on her. It's hard at this point to get her to a doctor unless she's willing to go herself. She may be in denial, or doesn't think there's anything wrong . . . but she probably will start getting a little worse. They do have medication that my slow the process in some people . .. but she has to be willing to take it. You may have to sit down with her at some point and have an honest conversation with her . . . but again, you can't force her to go to the doctor, etc. unless she's ready. Maybe next time you know she has a doctor's appointment . . . you can call the office ahead of time and voice your concerns to the doctor . . . and maybe when he examines her, he could run some tests without her knowing it. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear . . . but I hope this helps a little. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from Austin on

aside from what may be going on with her memory please get a video recorder and get her to tell family stories and things about loved ones as far back as she can remember that way you have them to pass on to the children in the family later on i am wishing and kicking myself now that i didnt do that with my parents before they were gone i really miss hearing their voices..and i would love to have those videos to show my kids

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.W.

answers from Eugene on

My mom is in her 70's and notices she forgets things like names of people she knew long ago or words to describe something. This, I think is a normal part of aging, her brain has 70+ years of accumulated information and sometimes it takes longer to retrieve something she doesn't use every day.

An older friend of mine was different. She came over with her DH one day and told me about a Bible Study she was attending. Then her husband mentioned that she'd gone to the study just that morning. My friend responded with, "I did!!?" She had forgotten already. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers soon after.

My aunt had Alzheimers as well. She could remember details from the past but not what happened half an hour before. She also began to exhibit strange behavior, throwing away valuables for example. She blew her retirement account and her personality changed.

I think you should be concerned about your mom. If it is Alzheimers, there are medications available that can delay the symptoms. And it is important to be aware of how the disease is progressing so she is not left alone if she might forget to turn off the stove or go out and get lost.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.B.

answers from New York on

I know you said you don't think it is Alzheimers, but it sounds like the early stages to me. My grandma was famous for telling us the same things all the time, we just chalked it up to grandma being grandma. Then years down the line other things started happening where we realized that there really was a problem. After speaking to the dr about her history, he said that it had been going on for quite some time, we just didn't realize it.

I hope it isn't Alzheimers and it is some medication she is taking so you can resolve the issue.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

My mother in law - the same age, does the same thing, she will tell me the same thing over an over, drives me mad - but her short term memory is pretty good, if your mother is lasting a few hours before retelling you then she could just be aging.
one of the first signs of dementia and alzehimers, is oppositional behavior, poor personal and home hygeine, and repeating themselves.
there are new drugs which can delay the onset if she is at the beginning stages - although it just sounds like she is getting old to me.

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions