My Little Liar.

Updated on April 05, 2007
L.A. asks from Jacksonville, FL
7 answers

I have a six year old whose lying is out of control. He will lie about anything and everything. I'm sure it's something as simple as a fear of the consequences. But he lies about things that are in consequential. (God help me with my spelling.) He told his baby sitter about his "ten year old sister". Who is infact only five.

We're also having problems with his "listening skills". He will not do as he is told. At school or home. Simply won't. It's almost as if he hasn't registered what you've said in the past ten seconds. He simply says "uh-huh" and goes about his merry way as if you'd said nothing to him at all. These are things that are getting him in trouble at home as well as school! I'm at my wits end. Hopefully some of you have more wits than I.

Ever hopeful,
L. May

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answers from Tampa on

Best of Luck L., My daughter who is 6 is having the same trouble in school with the listening. We can tell her something over 5 times and it is like she never heard us.

She too is lying more. I don't understand what is changing but I have explained to her that it is wrong. It is better to tell the truth then to lie. I have spoken to her teacher and they are teaching the kids not to tattle on others and that seems to be alot of our problem. She is not getting the attention that is needed for that "." of time and so she adds a little more detail when she tells me thinking that it will help her out- to get more attention out of me.

Anyways, Best of luck...My daughter has Adhd and is on medication...and I still have that problem... Hopefully you don't have the same problem!

If you need anything else, let me know :) L.



answers from Jacksonville on

My 2 cents would be to #1 Make him understand that their are worse consequences for lying to you about things than if he had told the truth to begin with. i.e. 10 minutes in time out versus the 5 he'd have gotten if he'd owned up to it. I've been struggling with this with my 7 year old and 5 year old as well, and thats a big thing we are trying to push. #2 Make him focus on you when you are speaking to him, and make him repeat it back to you. My 5 year old is TERRIBLE about only half listening. So, now, when I speak to him. I get on his level, Make him look me in the eyes while I'm talking, repeat it several times if I have to, and then make him repeat it back to me. This won't work in school, but if you can get him to start it at home maybe it will bleed over into school.



answers from Tallahassee on

My niece lied a lot when she was little and even forged my sister-in-laws signiture on some school work to keep from getting in trouble. She wasn't much older than you son, believe it or not. Luckily, or should I say, unfortunately for my niece, my sister-in-law was a teacher at her school and that was how she got caught. I'm not exactly sure how they got her to stop lying but more than likely they got very strick. I also think that it was a phase. My nephew, my sisters little boy, also told a lot of stories but his were more for comic relief than malicious intent. I would keep on him about telling the truth and punish him if he lies about something important. Maybe once the big lies stop the small ones will follow.

As for the listening skills, I have a four year old and she doesn't like to listen either. I have resorted to getting down on her level and looking her in the eye when I say something. I will turn her face towards mine if I have too. If she still doesn't listen or tells me no I then take away a favorite toy. This gets her attention. I think consistancy is the key, but with kids its always easier said than done.

Good luck!



answers from Sarasota on

my 12yo. son wnet thruogh the same thing when he was 6 - 8yo. He has ADHD and he was very, very hyper. I didn't want to put him on medication so I worked around it and came up with some ways to get him to listen. It may sound strange but, when I was talking to him about lying or telling him somthing he needed to do I would get down on his level so he could look into my eyes, then I would put my hands on the sides of head like horse blinders so he wouldn't be able to look at stuff from the corner of his eyes and not focus on me and what I was saying.It sounds strange but it really helped him to focus and concentrate on me because I had blocked out all distactions. The only thing he had to focus on was me. He is now on medication for his ADHD because all of the tecniques we were using no longer helped him and he was having trouble with concentration in school and socially. I hope this helps.



answers from Tampa on

Have you asked him why he said something as soon as you recognize the lie? Maybe he can figure out how to express what is going on inside of his brain. You can also talk about how he would feel if you lied to him. (Ex: how would you feel if I told you we would ______, and then say later that I didn't say that, or wasn't going to do it.)
Something that helps with listening...have him look you in the eyes (not the head, but the eyes) whenever you give him a direction. Have him repeat that direction word for word. If he can't, you repeat exactly what you said again, then have him repeat. If he doesn't do the direction, then you point out direct disobedience. This process helps him to stop what he is doing so he can be a better listener. He is in the habit of saying uh-huh; you need to break the habit. Show him that it is rude to ignore someone when they are talking directly to you.
Hope this helps. It's worked for me in the classroom and at home.



answers from Jacksonville on

Wish I had an answer for you since I have a 6 yr old girl who has started telling stories too. Not so much lies but her attitude in general has gotten really bad - I'd swear she jumped right into her teens. Grumpy all the time at home unless she has a friend over, ignoring us, walking away, UGH!!

Her teacher says she is doing fine at school so I was just going to ride it out for awhile and hope it is a phase. The neighbor said her 6 year old also went thru a period of telling fibs but seems to be over it now. I'm thinking they are just developing their imagination more and testing their boundaries. I'd say to let it ride with just explaining the consequences of lying (i.e. hurting someone's feelings or the boy who cried wolf syndrome). But if it is effecting his school than speak to the teacher or counselor to see if getting him involved in some outside activities would help as a release for their over-active imagination.

Good Luck & let me know if you find some miracle cure.




answers from Tampa on

Maybe it's a 6yo thing. My dd went through that when she turned 6. It about drove us nuts. She would do something and turn around, look us straight in the eye, and lie about it! We finally had to get strict with her on this and really break it. First, we had to come up with a consequence that would bother her. She loves the computer so we took that away for a day each time she lied. That helped. Then, we hit it where it really hurt. We took her bike : ) I also had a long talk with her. I talked to her about how if she had just admitted to doing whatever, she would have been in trouble for only doing whatever. Now she's in trouble for doing whatever and lieing. She was able to understand that. She just turned 7 a few weeks ago and I didn't realize until I read this that she had stopped with the lieing (or she's getting better, ha ha).

As far as making up stories like his sister, he may just be actually storytelling. Maybe he heard a story or watched a tv show about a 10 year old sister. When he does this, I wouldn't give him a consequence. I would maybe ask something like, "Is this really true or is it just a made up story?" Just make sure he learns the difference between when it's ok to tell stories and lie about something he has done. My kids and I even pass time by making up stories.

As far as listening, my ds can be like that. I can tell him something and he's "uh-huh" and I know he didn't pay attention. What helps with him is to stop him and ask him to repeat what I just said. I also have to take away distractions. If we're getting ready to leave and he has to get dressed and put his shoes on, it will not be done if the tv is on. So I turn it off and have actually told him to focus on me, lol. It works. Or if he's playing with a toy, I have him put it down and look me in the eye when I tell him to do something.


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