My son (9) confided in me the other night that when people speak he counts syllables. Like if I say..."hi how are you today" he repeats the sentence in his head and then counts the syllables. He also will put groups of words together to get 9 or 10 syllables. He told me that he gets frustrated because he is so busy counting the syllables that he doesn't listen to whomever is speaking, be it me, his dad or his teacher.
I honestly had no idea he was doing this. I didn't notice him not paying attention to me. I did notice that occationally he was fidgeting with his fingers but I thought is was just a nervous habit. He insists that it happens all day long so I took time this weekend and really watched him and it appears as if he does do it a few times throughtout the day but not all of the time.
I contacted his teacher this morning and am waiting for a reply to see if she has noticed anything. I am just wondering if anyone else has had this issue and how it could be resolved.
He use to have other habits that he broke himself of... chewing cuticles, biting his shirt, etc. but I am worried that this is potentially something more serious.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
He has come to you and asked for help. It IS a big deal because he realizes that he can't stop it on his own.
Find an OCD therapist. I have a friend whose daughter dealt with this for years, and once she started going to a therapist, he gave her alternatives for it (behavior modification).
Don't discount this. If you don't get him help, he may never come back to you later when things ratchet up.
Dawn
You may put this to use.
Poetry & Rap are syllable based in most cases. I rather suspect the Greats (Shakespeare to Tupac, Poe to Eminem) probably had/have a similar talent.
I suggest "putting it to good use"... Because that's a "gifted trick".
Gifted kids often have these kinds of quirks. That can OVERWHELM their lives, until there's an outlet for it to be directed, focused, and honed.
Similar to
- wild child UNTIL enrolled in sports
- drew on walls, clothes, people, UNTIL enrolled in arts
- screamer UNTIL enrolled in singing
For kids with inborn talents... Giving them an outlet for those talents can be life altering!!!
(instead of trying to force them to stop engineering/running/singing/drawing/etc.)
If it causes him anxiety I would consult your pediatrician. It does seem like it's bothering him and causing him not to listen as closely as he would like. Kids have anxiety issues all the time. It just when it interferes with their life that something needs to be done. Just smoothly fit it in at an appointment.
That's great he came to you for help! If I were you, I would call the pediatrician and start there. I'm sure they can refer you to the appropriate type of specialist who can help him. I have a friend who has to flick the light switch on and off 34 times before leaving a room. She doesn't know where the 34 comes from. Luckily for her, she not turning off a light in a room nearly as much as listening to someone speak (and counting syllables), so she has always just considered it her "weird thing." She has never sought help for it. I think what your son is going through has got to be extremely annoying and frustrating for him! Some sort of therapy seems to be needed. Good luck.
I'm wondering if its an OCD/anxiety thing and your pediatrician could offer guidance?
Good luck!
He's come to you for help, so I would talk to his doctor about behavior modification. If he can't focus on you or the teacher, he's not going to be able to do well in school. It IS affecting him because he says he can't listen. I would seek therapy for OCD for him.
If the teacher doesnt notice anything than it is probably not too big a deal and will go away on its own. My son has tourettes so always has a lot of interesting little tics. I myself count things in my head often. I used to count peoples eyes all the time! HA! When people at work found out they would come into the room closing one eye so I couldnt count by twos! LOL. I also will count fan blades over and over and weird other little things. It doesnt effect my daily life really though, and so I am not worried about it. If your sons daily life does not seem to affected than I would not worry to much either. If it escalates and it starts to effect his daily functioning than you can seek some help.
I would definitely talk to his pediatrician and ask for a psych/mental/behavioral health referral (depending on where you live, they call it different things, but it's all psychology). This may be something bigger than a mom-can-fix-it kind of issue.
The primary concern should be that he WANTS to stop and CAN'T. If he was counting syllables because "Hey mom, syllables are so cool. I love counting them all the time!" Then I'd leave it alone. But this is compulsive behavior, and it is interfering with is social and emotional well being.
Good luck,
T.
His counting is an indication of OCD--Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Some behavior modification will help him in learning how to manage this disorder--before it manages him and makes his life miserable. It will never totally go away, but behavior modification will give him the tools he'll need to reign in his impulses/compulsiveness.
My husband has this. It's awful. If you can get your son help now, as a youngster, he'll thank you immensely. My husband's dad actually made his situation worse. He thought it was funny that my husband would obsess over things--so he made sure to egg him on. Did you close the horse barn door for the evening? Not sure, so my husband would get up numerous times during the night to "go and check." If he was concerned/worried about something and wouldn't stop thinking or talking about it, his father would egg him on until he'd worked himself into a high state of anxiety and would physically make himself sick. His father thought it was funny, never realizing the awful, awful mess he was making for his son in later life.
I had a friend who would sit and stare at her living room curtains for hours on end, wondering if one side of the curtains was longer than the other side. After she'd spent several days doing this and many hours, she caught herself one day and said to herself, really? Seriously? She knew she had a problem and went and got help.
Thankfully your son let you know the issue, so now you can get him help. Yeah!
Ask your pedi for their thoughts. They may be able to give you an idea if it's an issue like OCD, or just a habit.
Sounds like milk OCD, but only a proper evaluation will say for sure. If this is the case, you'll also be given a plan for helping him. I don't suggest you try to make it stop on your own without professional guidance, because you can make it worse.
I agree with others, it's likely a sign of OCD. It's something to adapt to, hopefully nothing extreme. I've got it and my mom has it. I started counting words or letters in words, in high school. How could I make the sentence end in an even number, adding spaces, just words, etc. It's very distracting! It continued in college. When I'm stressed, I still notice I'm doing it when I read novels. It's good to be aware of it and talk to the doctor about coping skills. Most of my quirks get worse when I'm stressed and I still have to have certain details my way, like I'm the first to take a shower b/c I can't stand a wet shower curtain, I'm the first to read the paper b/c I can't read it if it's out of order, sandwiches have to be cut a certain way. It's just something to adapt to. Good luck to you and your son!
I am also a counter. I could steps, washing hands, people in a room, fan blades, etc- i also used to get "stuck" watching my washer....now my washer doesn't run unless the lids closed....ended that one.
Its not enough to effect my life.....just bothers me from time to time, but doesn't hinder me at all. Guess i would figure out if it's just annoying (like me) or hindering his life.
this is ocd.. but lots of people have a bit of ocd.. like my hub who wears his shirts in order.. but does anyone notice or care?? no...
so if he is quietly counting in his head all day... no problem.. but if it interferes with his ability to listen to what the teacher is saying.. big problem. how are his grade.. is he gettin his work done/
does he play well with others?
my daughter once told me she counted to 1000 at school.. she said it took all day.. I dont think she was kidding. bet she didnt get her work done that day.
Once again, I am with Riley on this. I don't see it as a problem inasmuch as he is doing it because he doesn't have another outlet. Want to start him writing poetry? Start here: http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/types.html
And encourage him to write more, I quit every nervous habit (picking at my eyelashes, my fingers, chewing my hair...) I had as a child when I started writing, because writing was the replacement.
He has OCD more than likely. I've done the exact same thing since I can remember. I literally counted to thousands every night before I could go to sleep. It plagued me as a child. I could be so tired but I still had to count!! It's called a ritual. I still look for letter and number patterns in everything. I LOVE math naturally. I of course count syllables when people are talking. To be honest I do it a lot because my mind is moving too fast and I need to keep it occupied.
My biggest suggestion is a hobby. Keeping busy is very very helpful to keep my "quirks" under control. I've tried medicines for it as well and even therapy but to be honest keeping busy and my anxiety low keeps my rituals lower. It's worth a shot with him too. Good luck. I know how he suffers.
