My Husband Wants to Wear Matching Clothes and Is a Shopaholic

Updated on September 05, 2012
C.A. asks from Forsyth, GA
7 answers

My husband and I work together and he wants to tell me what to wear everyday to work then he picks himself out something that matches what I am wearing. He also is a shopacholic for clothes. He has over 500 ties. I counted them a few years ago and he continues to buy them. I hate to go shopping with him because if I go into the dressing room to try on something, he starts bringing me more clothes to try on while I am in the dressing room. It seems he brings me EVERY item he can find in the store in my size. If I pick out a couple of items, I will tell him not to go over a certain dollar figure but he doesn't care and he will get to the register and buy everything he thinks I like. I don't need clothes and I try not to go to a store that sells them but sometimes he will insist on stopping during a work break at a store and he will shop for and buy...more ties. If we could sell every tie he has and get him to stop wearing ties, our children would have a retirement plan started! He will not throw away old clothes either. Last year at school our kids had a day that they could dress up like it was the 70's. My husband had a brand-new looking pair of 70's pants, shirt, shoes, the whole nine yards for our son to wear that day, and they fit him!

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S.B.

answers from Charleston on

Skip Mamasource and head to a counselor, pastor, or priest. There is some need of his not being met that he is filling with shopping. Let a professional help you guys figure it out together. You've been together for 19 years....congratulations! Sounds like you're a great team. Back him up now and get some additional help together. We couldn't know how to give you advice, and he needs to be heard too. Good luck!

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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi Cinthia,

I want to join the voices from the other moms. He may be trying to fill up a void he may have or that he feels you both my have? (he wants to buy excesibly for you too). Definately is time to get some sort of professional help. Couples therapy may work great! he may be reluctant if he doesn't see this is a problem...he may even say that most woman would LOVE a husband that wants to go shopping every chance he gets and doeasn't let "money" be an impediment...BUT you now this is not normal, for a man or a woman.I think that everytime we have to end a word with the suffix "oholic" , we know there is a problem...your sounds like a wonderful family and I am sure you'll find the help you need.Best of wishes for you.A.

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N.J.

answers from Savannah on

I wish I had advice for you, but I don't. I just wanted to say I truly feel for you hon. Has this shopping craze just started since he lost his parents? Not to answer, just something to think about. Ya know, like is there an underlying reason that maybe he buys to fill a void, to be happy at the moment...etc.?

Hope it gets better!

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi C.!

I work for a new ABC talk show and we are doing a show in which we aim to help a shopaholic recover and have a relationship and financial expert on board to help the couple move forward and beyond any damages done by overspending.

Would love to chat with you re: the opportunity to possibly be part of our show.

Please email me at [email protected]____.com

Thanks!

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L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

I think it's time to seek professional counseling.

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E.K.

answers from Florence on

Well, on one hand, at least he will shop with you. My husband wouldn't notice the difference between a ball gown and a burlap sack. However, this does sound very compulsive, and the not throwing old clothes away...reminds me of when my first husband died, I had the same behavior. I blew a few thousand dollars on clothes and never wore most of them. They went to the thrift store with tags on. I agree with what some of the other Moms said - it's time to get some professional help. Good luck, I wish you the best!

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T.L.

answers from Augusta on

My husband is manic and he gets what I call tunnel vision about buying thing. Usually tools and thing he thinks he will need for work. He did go out one time and had to but a John boat and moter. He never even used it. He ended up selling it lost out on most of the money he spent buying it. Since he has been on an anti dep he has done this. Food for thought.

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