My Husband Is Losing It and I Think He Is Suicidal!! Help

Updated on December 04, 2010
A.N. asks from Bayfield, CO
23 answers

This has been the hardest question I have for you ladies my husband is under so much stress we just moved here to Colorado in June he got a good job but it gets really slow around this time of year and we fell behind we have $2,784 dollars in bills and are behind on everything, we get foodstamps and it helps we just are not making it here we have no family here or family that can help us. I work out of the home selling MK but still its just not enouh. He told me today that he was having a mental breakdown and I dont kow what I can do to help him he is so stressed Im afraid that he is suicidal what do I do?

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So What Happened?

I talked to him and told him that I was concerend that I wasnt going to have him around anymore and he basically broke down and said I just want to take care of you guys like you deserve. He said I wont leave you and my boys. I feel so bad for him

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answers from Kansas City on

Has he said anything like, "Life would be better without me" or "I could end all of these problems with a gun"? If he has made a direct statement, you need to contact the police for his safety. If you think he's generally depressed and possibly suicidal, There is a suicide hotline (800) 273-TALK.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Tucson on

I would ask him to see a psychologist or his doctor at least so the doctor can refer him to a psychologist. Depression is not something to mess around with at all. I had a friend who's Dad hung himself in the garage and she was the one to find him. She then had to see a psychologist for years from the trauma. Please get him to seek professional help.

D. P.

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answers from Houston on

Please call a suicide hotline, they can really help. 1-800-784-2433

Your husband in the meantime would benefit from anti-depressants and counseling and you may qualify for medical assistance for that.

As far as being under financial strain, you may also qualify for cash assistance and utilities assistance. You can contact your utilities/mortgage/credit card companies and some may be willing to work out a payment plan. Please contact your state department of human services here:

Is there anyway you or him can get a second job, even if it's stocking shelves at Walmart at night, or delivering pizzas... I know several men doing this right now for their families, anything to help during this rough patch.

Do you have a local church group or community group or lions club that can help you out for now? Many are even extra generous this time of year especially.

As for his job, he can get help on finding a new one, along with career counseling, interview and resume help here... and it's all for free:

Colorado Springs:


6 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

I know this is a really hard time for people, including me. I always say I'm going to jump off the bridge but people who know me know that means I'm having a seriously bad day and I'm fed up. I have never been suicidal. Feeling like I might have a breakdown? At least once a week.
That is not to dismiss your husband's feelings. Or my own....because I do get seriously overwhelmed as a single mom.
Talk to him about going to the doctor to see if he is becoming depressed. It happens. Even being depressed is not the same as being suicidal.
Has he talked about harming himself? Does he say life would be better for everyone if he wasn't here anymore?
Get him in to see a doctor.
Make a game plan so there is hope for a positive direction.
Get a job outside the home if you need to and help pick up some of the temporary slack while things are slow for him in his business.
You have each other and that's a plus. You can work as a team to get things turned around for the benefit of your family.
He may be feeling like everything is on his shoulders and he's telling you he's scared.
Make sure he knows you hear him and try to talk about what can help make things better.
You've been through a lot of changes since June and it's a lot of pressure.

Obviously, if you think your husband or anyone close to you is suicidal, contact the authorities or call a suicide prevention hotline for further assistance and referrals.
Sounds to me like he needs some support.

Best wishes.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Things are tough for you and your husband feels like he is letting you and your kids down! Let him know that, despite everything, he is your hero!!!

I hope that things improve quickly and will pray for all of you!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

sorry you are going thru such a difficult time.. Can you call a suicide hotline on his behalf? they might have further resources for you and too, perhaps will have some good suggestions as to what you should do. They deal with this ALL the time and might be able to assist in ways you didn't consider or even know about.
Also, my brother used to attend programs via the church (e.g. when he was in need of treatment for alcohol use he went to the Salvation Army)
they have many resources and can help with MANY different types of situations not just addiction but what you are going thru as well.
Many have outreach programs and if you are getting food stamps, then I think the office issuing them will also have some good resources, why not give them a call?
I wish you and your family the best during this difficult transition.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

You have not given enough information to know if this is an immediate crisis or the possibility of suicide. 911 cannot help you unless he's devised a plan and is in the process of implementing it. I do suggest that you call the Suicide Hotline or a Crisis Hotline. They can tell you what to look for to determine if he may be suicidal as well as offer you help in handling it.

I urge you to get him to a doctor who can put him on an antidepressant medication. If you don't have insurance, you may qualify for medical assistance from the state. There are also county clinics that charge on a sliding scale.

The sign that shows the most likelihood of being suicidal and which, if present, means that you should immediately call the Suicide Prevention Hotline is if he has a specific plan for killing himself and if he has the means to follow that plan.

I have met many people who are so depressed that they seem suicidal who really just want the pain to go away. When they're given a way to deal with the pain, they are still depressed but they learn ways to manage. The Suicide Prevention Hotline can tell you what resources are available in your community.

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answers from San Francisco on

Hi Mama
Sorry to hear that you are going through this very stressful time.
I did training in helping people who are suicidal. It was called the ASISTprogramme.
It recommends the following
step 1. is to ask your husband is he thinking of suicide.They highly recommend that you ask this question so you will know if he is serious about this or just going through a tough time mentally.It also clears the mind and makes way for direct honest conversation. If he says yes-
2. explore with him what are the reasons why he feels this is his only option.
3. explore with him the positives in his life.
4. then you and your husband need to come up with a plan to keep him safe -you can arrange to ring the suicide prevention hotline,visit his doctor,get a counsellor,get a friend to visit-whatever you feel best to help him.
The most important aspect is to keep having honest conversations with your husband and let him know you are there to help him.
Do not stay quite and leave things to guess work.
Stay with him until he gets help.
Wishing you all the best

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Call a suicide hot-line and hand him the phone!! ASAP!!!!!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

he needs a counselor if he is acting suicidal, if you are christian, then i would suggest getting to know a church and talking to a pastor, they usualy have "family" training or degree's to that nature. my husband and i "fell" hard shortly after we got married (he lost his job) and we shortly decided to start going to church and viola, there was a man there that owns his own buisness that was able to employ him...not a steady income but it HELPS...get him some help before it gets worse

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Hi Meandmyguys3 :-)

First of all, are you sensing your husband is suicidal because of anything he has said or done? If so, you need to contact an emergency center to see if there is any assistance that can be offered to him right away!

Once you have established there IS help for any crisis you may want to reach into your family/friend pocket to see if there is anyone who can speak with him who will bring him some comfort and a sense of support.

After that.. there are many ways to go, but you haven't given enough information to speculate.. where were you living originally, what kind of work does your husband do, how many children do you have, why did you move, etc. etc. So.. with all of this unknown, I would offer that there is something you both can do for yourselves in the moment, to help your bodymind to look at the stress levels and decrease them and assist the body to deal with it better.

There is an Energy Medicine technique called CORTICES. You can find it on my website It is a simple technique that takes only 30 seconds to implement and I would suggest you learn it and use it on yourself first, and then tap out the CORTICES of your husband. Do it a few times in the day and then step back as this balancing will help to bring better "clarity and focus" so that you will have the ability to look at the bigger picture to perhaps find some better solutions, because what you have now is not working. On my website choose the tab that talks about Dr. John Veltheim teaching CORTICES.

Try tapping your CORTICES out and then sit down and write down in a journal all of the things that are stressing you and him so that you can begin to look at the issues individually.. they are easier to handle that way.

Give us more information as to what is going on so more moms can chime in with ideas to help ok?

A. R.N., Energy Medicine Practitioner

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

take him to the hospital so he can get the help he needs. If you feel he really might hurt himself (or anybody else) please call 911.
Prayers to you!!!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Have you brought him to the doctor?
Is it clear that the job will resume being "good" after the holidays?
If so, can you nurture him through just this month . . .
cutting back on expenses, doing less for Xmas, etc.?
Is his stress based only on financial worries?
Is he feeling he has let you all down?

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

If you seriously think he is suicidal--call 9-1-1 right away!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

If your husband's company offers health insurance, they more than likely have a behavioral helpline. Call the nurseline and see. I'll keep you in prayer.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Do you really believe he is suicidal? I think his issue is just finances a man like to feel like he can provide for his family and when he feels like he is not doing that then it gets stressful. You said you get foodstamp does Colorado have services that can help with the rent in light bills. like if you have a dss there i am sure they can help you with any turnoff or eviction notices. I live in Baltimore, Md so that how i know about these kind of services but you should check it out. A move to a new place with no other family is always hard. I believe things will can better for ya'll in do time just pray about it what does break ya'll will truly make ya'll stronger

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answers from Seattle on

I suggest calling a crises center. Crises lines are manned by trained volunteers/professionals. They will have a list of resources and should be able to talk this situation out with you. It is free.

Check out this link:

Good luck. You are not alone.

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answers from Washington DC on

FIrst, call your family doctor and tell him/her. It may anger your husband, but you will never forgiv eyourself if you don't. Other options, if he is of the right mind to do so - does he have an Employee Asistance Plan he can contact? They can advise.on therapists. If the situation feels dire, call 911 or Adult protective Servicies. In the meantime, you could also call a suicide hotline for anonymous advice.

Basically, he needs a professional evaluation wiht a therapist who can determine if he is serious;y considering suicide. However, he may not do it,and thus you may need guidance on wha tot look for as critical signs and a plan of action

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Flagstaff on

I agree, if he realizes he is having trouble, and is open to it, go to a counselor. If he has insurance at work, they may cover that type of help. If not, find an orginazation in your town that will provide free counseling (Like a church), or will provide services based on income level. Let him know that you realize he just wants to take care of your family, but it is not something he has to do on his own, and you are there no matter what and reassure him that you will get through this rough time one way or another. There are agencies out there that can provide financial assistance to help you pay your bills. I am not sure what is in your area, but there are usually church orientated groups that are willing to provide you money to pay utility bills and rent and such. I am not religious, but if I were in a situation like you, I would reach out to any organization that could help. I think one in particualr is Catholic community services or something along those lines. Make sure you call the people you owe the $2784 to and let them know your situation and make arrangements to pay them. If you ignore it, it will just get worse and they will not work with you to allow you to pay it off. I hope things turn around for your and your family soon!



answers from Phoenix on

We have been in the same boat $ wise. I know in our city they will pay for one of your bills one time a year. They paid our $300 electric bill. Ask the city for help. Good Luck will be praying for you..



answers from New York on

Perhaps you can take a look at your finances and figure out areas where you can cut back - cable, internet, cell phones, certain foods. Let him know that you are in this together. That it isn't his sole responsibility to support the family, you both need to do that! It is so hard for men, because it is engrained in them that they have to be the providers...but we can certainly help out!

Hugs to you, I hope the two of you can get through this together!



answers from Albuquerque on

Listen to your heart, your inner wisdom. You know your husband best. Let him talk to you openly, and actively listen when he opens up. For yourself, maybe journaling can reveal some answers for you. Just start writing and let yourself pour out on paper, not censoring your thoughts, not holding back. See what that yields. If at all appropriate, try to remember that the bad times are temporary, and it will get better.



answers from Phoenix on

Get him to the doctor and see if there is something they can do to help him cope better. If they suggest medication, it can be used short term, until things even out for him.
Have you contacted Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Northern Colorado? They can help you with your debt. Times are tough for everyone and you need to do what ever you can to help yourself and your family. You are a brave and courageous woman to ask for help and I think your husband is lucky man.
God Bless you!

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