Show him this posting that you wrote. If you have to, print it out and put it in front of him.
Also, since he does not spend time "with" you... do you both even have discussions about the day, about how he is doing at work, how the company is doing etc....about how the kids are, how your son is doing in school, etc.?
If not, then your Husband is missing out on HIS life, too. He toils and works and works and works....and all this while...he is missing out on living HIS life. TELL HIM....if he does not take time to smell the roses.... it will be TOO LATE, and you will be a widow and the boys will be fatherless.
This much stress and work upon a man, REALLY stresses them out, even if it may seem it does not. ALSO, I would thus, MAKE SURE he is fit, healthy, and goes to the Doctor for a check up.
Also, did this behavior only start AFTER you had children....or was he always like this? He NEEDS TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF to you...out of respect and common courtesy to you.
-Also, besides just "playing" with the kids, does he actually DO any of the child-care, and helping you? Or he is just not around and leaving it to you all by yourself? This is selfish.
-Also, is he actually in his home-office actually "working?" Or does he just go up there as an excuse... to make like he's busy so he can "avoid" the household responsibilities?
No matter what... he OWES you an explanation... he is neglecting his wife. If anything, he is taking you for granted... and it may just be his issues. But, he has to do his role as a husband too... or his wife will always be lonely. Tell him again, until he really gets it. Or, you will go on in life, just being a stranger to him.
ALSO, perhaps given the poor economy and LOTS of businesses sinking and closing up...perhaps he is VERY stressed about it and is fearing the stability of his own company????
All I know is, a man and a woman must discuss things... and it's very important for the "Wife" to KNOW ABOUT HER HUSBAND"S BUSINESS/COMPANY too. Do you? Does he share that with you???? My late Dad was an entrepreneur and business owner his whole life... BUT, he made time for family and his wife. He wasn't perfect...but he was a busy man. BUT he valued his kids and wife. BUT... he always kept my Mom and us (when we were older) abreast about his company....IF IN THE EVENT SOMETHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO HIM. THEN, we thereby could pick up where he left off and run things. Your Husband needs to do this....
Next, why don't you ever just pop into his office... and go to lunch together? SURPRISE HIM! Go to his office either upstairs in your home, OR drive down the street to his office there. Do you, the "Wife" ever pay visits to his office????? Why don't you? Show an interest in his office/work. Not saying that you are not neglected either...but, put "YOU" INTO HIS ROUTINES...instead of just leaving HIM alone. For me-- my Hubby works full time AND goes to school... he is very busy and rarely available, but he does stay home and with us. BUT GET THIS...my Hubby tells ME "Honey, how come you don't keep me company???" My reply is-- "Well, I don't want to disturb your studying..." BUT I GET IT... HE JUST WANTS ME TO KEEP HIM COMPANY EVEN IF I'M JUST IN THE SAME ROOM READING THE NEWSPAPER. He gets real joy from that....just the fact that I show an interest in "his studying room" and hang out there with him plus with our kids... he REALLY likes that! Just an idea for you....
Or, you both NEED to go to couples counseling... before you loose yourselves to circumstance even more.
ALL THE BEST,