My Heart Hurts and I'm Not Sure How to Fix It

Updated on July 21, 2008
J.M. asks from West Chester, PA
4 answers

Hi Everyone,
I feel stuck in a rut. I've been with my partner for about 4 years now and we have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. Recently I've been feeling like I can't trust him. I know everyone is going to say "trust your instincts" and my instincts tell me he's not cheating but that's he's playing with fire. About a month ago he was using my computer and left his emails up. When I saw it it was from another woman who asked to meet up with him on a particular day. I know he didn't meet with her that day because he was with me all day. When I addressed it he told me that it was nothing and that he didn't know this woman... that it was SPAM and he responded back (which I'm not surprised by that because he does respond to all different types of SPAM). In any case, since then I haven't been able to get over this anxious feeling I have. I just recently saw his credit card statement because he left it on the kitchen counter. When I looked at it there is a charge for Olive Garden in Maryland (we live in Pennsylvania) on a day that I was out of town. I feel like I'm constantly accusing him of things and I don't know how to address this issue. The issue really is that I've been feeling like I can't trust him. I just want to fix it. I love him so much and I'm getting tired of feeling awful. I need help.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers



answers from Philadelphia on

Trust your instincts. How much was the bill at olive garden for?? did he go down with a business associate or take a client out? Will he be reimbursed by the company. The fact of the matter is I have seen spam and it rarely asks you to meet up without some cheesey singels dating website or something like that. Trust your instincts, if you feel like something has changed it probably has whether it is on you or him. Re-evaluate your relationship and try having a conversation with him about how you feel. Try counseling if you want if you feel the relationship is worth it and you love him that much. Please don't make the mistake of staying with him because you have a child (not that I am saying you will but) it is worse on the child in that situation. I am sorry you hurt so badly. I wish you all the best and hope that your instincts are wrong. Good luck and god bless.



answers from Philadelphia on

If not for your own sake, then for the sake of your daughter, i think that this is definitely worth addressing with him. where was your daughter while he was off in MD having dinner? Good luck - hope you are able to resolve this and have a more confident relationship. Kudos for you for be willing to work it out, rather than just using this excuse to break your commitment and leave him. Good luck!



answers from Philadelphia on

Hi there J.,
I think you should have an open and honest discussion with your partner. Hopefully that will give you the information that you are looking for.
Best of luck to you.



answers from Philadelphia on

I'm not sure what I can offer, but I just wanted to respond so you know you're not alone. My husband has a "friend" that makes me *very* uncomfortable. He says its nothing, but I think its inappropriate for a married man.

Anyway, do you think you could get away for a night or so? Or go out on a nice date? Once you have kids you tend to forget why you got married in the first place (well, I know you're not married, but you get my point!)

I'd ask him about the credit card statement, it *was* out on the table! From experience I know keeping it in drives you crazy. I don't feel bad about snooping, if I didn't find anything then I wouldn't feel like I had to snoop.

Good luck, but unfortunately while you have young kids the rut goes on for a while.....

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions