My Grandson

Hi J.,
I'm with Marda on this one. Get Early Intervention involved, they will come to the house and do an Evaluation, there will also be an opportunity to get a Medical Diagnostic at a Children's Hospital with a Developmental Pediatrician, Speech Therapist and Occupational Therapist. They will give a Professional Diagnosis and their recommendations. I did that when my son was 21 months old and I am so glad I did, it's a year later and he is doing so much better. I was afraid he has Autism too but he was diaqnosed with mild developmental delays. At least I knew what the problems were and how I can help him.

My grandson has similar issues tho he passed the hearing test. I urge you to encourage your daughter to have him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician to be sure that he's developing as he should be. A mother asked a very similar question a couple of days ago. Much has been written on this site about developmental issues and I suggest that you use the list of past questions to read those. Click on the Q&A in the heading.

Being affectionate or not being is only one small part to consider with autism. My grandson is autistic and the limited description you give of your grandson also fits him. It has taken his mother several years of working with the school district to finally reach this limited diagnosis. He's had others along the way. He is at the beginning of a process to find reasons for his unusual behavior that is limiting him in school. He's 7 and in a Special Ed class even tho he's intelligent. He doesn't get along within the classroom and acts more like a 4 or 5 yo instead of the 7 yo he is.

By the way, not playing with other kids at age 2 is typical and considered normal as far as development goes. Two year olds play side by side. Every thing you said about your grandson can be "normal" and not an indication of needing more attention.

Getting an evaluation earlier rather than later will help both your grandson and your daughter. If he needs more assistance he will improve faster at a younger age. If he doesn't need assistance and it's not suggested he's autistic your daughter she can stop being anxious about the possibility of autism. He also may need more help but not be autistic.

Since he's not co-operating with speech therapy, he and his mother do need help in figuring out what is going on and how to change it if that is a reasonable goal. Has she talked with the therapist and tried his/her suggestions? She is his advocate and needs to stay on top of what is going on with him in therapy as well as in class. Perhaps she would let you attend meetings with her so that you can have a better idea about what is going on.

Keep in mind that, at 2, your grandson is unable to sit quietly for any length of time. Has the speech therapist said he's concerned about your grandson's lack of co-operation? Is he in a class that works with the speech therapist in reinforcing lessons in the classroom? There are things that you and his mother can help him with at home. Have you or her mother asked for ways to help him with his speech?

From one grandma to another I suggest that your daughter is overwhelmed and needs your support. Ask her how you can help her. Tell her you'd like for her son to see a developmental pediatrician to rule out any other difficulties for her son. Reassure her that being evaluated doesn't mean a "negative" diagnosis. An evaluation shows that she is doing the best for her son and will relieve some of her anxiety no matter the diagnosis. I speak from experience.

Has she talked with the pediatrician about this? Have they said anything about being concerned? I would talk to pediatrician and see if they can give a referral. Early intervention is key--maybe the doctor will have some good advice for your family. Good luck!

Keep up with the speech therapy classes. Keep the tv OFF. Television is like static noise for developing brains and can actually inhibit the brains ability to retain information and retards the growth of new neural connections.

I would have him evaluated for any indications of being in the autism spectrum. Also, perhaps talk to his pediatrician (or do your own research) on the effects of certain allergens- both environmental (think plants and animals), and within products (think red dye allergy etc). There are about a million and one things that can impact development.

Primary impactors of development tend to be within the home, however. Turn the TV off, spend good chunks of time talking to the little boy, read books, play games, and have "conversations" with him and always pause to allow him to answer- even when he doesn't answer- give him the answer and keep talking.

My daughter is almost 2.5 years old and she is speech delayed. When I cut the TV out I saw improvement. She sees a speech therapist. She's getting tubes sometime this month.

Good luck-

Hello,

You have gotten a lot of great advice on here but I wanted to add something in so you might not worry so much. I've had one girl and two boys. At the age of 2 my daughter was talking pretty clearly, enough to where we could at least understand her.

My boys are now 4 and 2. My 4 yr old diddn't start talking clearly until the age of 3. It was like night and day when he hit 3. Everything came out so clear and perfect and he never once was seen by an ECI or speech therapist. My 2 yr old (turned 2 in April) is pretty much the same as my first son, speaks a little but not very clear but understands a lot of what we say.

He's pretty much at the age where only the parents can still tell what he's saying. Is your grandson speaking at all? Even trying?? If yes, then don't worry yourself, give him some more time, he's barely 2. If he never even tries or doesn't even say mama or dada, then I suggest your daughter take the advice of your previous answers and look into speech therapy or ECI.

The other characteristics you mentioned just remind me of a typical shy 2 yr old boy. Most 2 yr olds are not going to sit still for a speech therapy class anyway so don't let that worry you, that's just being a 2 yr old.

So anyhow, IMO he's still very young and sounds like he could just use some more time. I wouldn't let myself worry until he's 3 and no improvement has been seen yet. Until then, just have her keep working with him but don't push it and don't worry. Every child develops differently, some slower some faster. BTW, I have a 2 yr old niece (6 weeks older than my son) that can count to 10, knows her alphabet, recognizes colors, etc. I think she's one of the smartest kids I've ever seen, I don't think my son's any less smart becuase he's not doiing those things, I think sometimes boys just learn at slower paces.

Take care and best wishes.

I was in the same circumstance 3 years ago with my son. Yes, the A word is scary but the earlier you start treatment the better the outcome. There is so much assistance right now. Also, those behaviors show up with speech problems as well. The best thing you daughter can do is to have him evaluated either by a pediatric neurologist or through the early steps program in her area.(FDLRS) in the state of florida. My son went through intense therapys and still goes to therapy but otherwise is doing great.

Hi gramma!
Contact the International Chiropractic Pediatric Assn, and get a chiropractic exam- sounds as if there is some interference with the nerve supply- and that is what those guys specialize in.
Best, k

I agree with the other Mama's and Grandma's early intervention is the key. If he was not cooperating in the speech therapy class, see about finding a different therapist that he might respond to in a more positive way.
Your daughter needs to always remember that her main job is to be the advocate for her son, talk with the County Health Office and find out what is available in your area for this type of issue. I have never had any experience with children who needed early intervention but I do know that the rule is...the earlier the better!!! Don't let her delay...encourage her to get pushy if she has to...and get someone to give her an answer!!

If he is very affectionate with his family, especially physically affectionate, he is probably not autistic. It does sound like he has some developmental delays, especially in speech. This is to be expected with hearing loss, and is normal, and is probably also the root cause of his difficulties playing with other children. Also, at this age, they play next to each other more than with each other, so to be honest he sounds fine to me, but I'm not a professional. It sounds you found a therapist, did you find one through Early Steps? It's a government program available to everyone, not income dependent, and will evaluate the child for speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy. My friend's son had speech delays, was very bright, and was otherwise fine, but he was so motor-driven and such an active boy that he never bothered to work on speaking. He was doing well with his speech therapist. I think keep with the therapy and you'll find he'll catch up to the other kids and be just fine.

I don't know where Edgewater is but perhaps you can find someone who practices the Masgutova Method to work with him. I do the method and find that integrating primary reflexes in the brainstem first before anything else is the way to go. Simple exercises acheive phenomenal results. Simple is so profound for these children. Your GS may be suffering from Sensory Processing Disorder coupled with Auditory Processing Disorder. Usually these get looped with autism but they are not the same thing. He needs to be in speech at least 3 days a week, occupational therapy with a SIPT certified provider and perhaps behavioral. Just get his body and brain connected first. A great book to read is Disconnected Kids and also Healing The New Childhood Epidemics. Most of these disorders have food allergies as their root cause. Do not get any more vaccines, especially flu shot. His immune system has become impaired because gut issues are abound. Learn about GFCF diet. Learn about supplements. He is young but his parents have to act immediately to reverse and slow down the progression of what may come next. Every day counts! Please research www.masgutovamethod.com and join the children with challenges yahoo group on the home page to talk with others who are using it. If you need any help don't hesitate to contact me. I can share a wealth of information.
PS. NO TV!!! It damages vision of an already at risk system. The eyes fixate on one point and we need eye movement and muscle movement of the eyes working together. Turn off the breaker switch to the TV for sure or it will exacerbate all issues.

First - get Early Intervention involved. He absolutely qualifies and it can't hurt - only help.
Second - if the child can't/couldn't hear, there were developmental milestones that were missed. It's just the way it is. The way he reacts to other kids is because those milestones were missed. My son had ear infections galore and was the same way. We put him in speech therapy and he finished that up by kindergarten.
My son still has a little trouble understanding other kids - he doesn't know when they are teasing or not. He doesn't know if they are joking or not - because he missed that milestone when he was little. That said, he's a terrific kid who is an excellent student. We explained to him - he's 17 - that he doesn't understand the kids and their teasing because of what he missed. We told him he needs to learn how to read people better. We show him... he told his friends about it and they now help him, too.
If your grandson is an Aspie - so be it. There are a lot of very high functioning Aspies around. They are those brilliant quirky people who blew the curve for the rest of us... I'd get him involved in Karate when he is a little older. It builds self esteem, teaches you how to interact with others, teaches honor and discipline, and makes you react and interact with others.
When and if you get a diagnosis, continue to make the child do things that he's "not supposed to be able to do". He will surprise you.
LBC

I totally agree with the other posters on making sure that the pediatrician is involved and getting Early Intervention or Head Start (whatever you have in your area) involved. Two year olds only do parallel play usually - so he should play side by side with another child but not necessarily interact or interact well.

Also, consider trying some sign language. By 2, your grandson is probably frustrated by not being able to communicate as well as he would like. We used some signs with my son from the time he was about 9 months old and it really helped to alleviate his frustrations (and ours!). Really basic words like "eat, drink, more, finished, all done, sleep" can do wonders! Don't worry - plenty of studies have been done and sign does not delay language development.

Best wishes - C.