My Fiancé and I Live Together and His Daughter Is Baptizing Her Baby, Should My

Updated on December 14, 2017
L.P. asks from Lynbrook, NY
11 answers

Should my children be invited to the christening, they invite his children to everything, but his children can never make it

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So What Happened?

Sorry I added information in with another question. I'm knew to this blog and just learning the parameters. The other question I posted with additional information is... " am I being to sensitive?" Thanks for the responses.

More Answers


answers from San Francisco on

It's not should or shouldn't, a christening is a very special, spiritual and intimate family gathering, so it's up to the baby's parents who they want to invite.
If the baby's parents are very close to your children then they will likely be invited, but if not, don't take it personally and don't cause drama.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Should they be invited just because they are your children? Nope. Its up to the baby's parents to decide who to invite to a christening.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

It's up to the baby's parents to invite whoever they want to.

My husband and I were pressured into inviting my in-laws' extended family to everything early on in our marriage - and regret it. We had people there we have never spoken to since - not because we don't like them, we simply don't know them. Didn't know them before, don't know them now.

If they want to invite them - they will. It doesn't have to be anything personal. They may just want to have people who matter to them there.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

your fiance's daughter should invite whomever her family is close to, and who would be happy to share in a (hopefully) meaningful and spiritual ritual involving their baby.

they should not have to put up with people who are 'to' sensitive and feel entitled to invitations due to nothing more than proximity.

this does not bode well for your future relationship with your stepchildren.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

It would be nice if your children were included, but I don't know the particulars. If you have small children who might take the focus off the baby, maybe she doesn't want that. If your children are older and she's paying for some sort of meal afterwards, she may have to keep the head count down (same as kids not being invited to a wedding). Maybe she doesn't want everyone else's kids there and she's trying to be consistent. You don't say how long you have been in her father's life or how well you know her, of if there is an prior resentment for something. You also don't say if her mother (your fiancé's ex) will be there and if perhaps your children and this new "big happy family" might be upsetting. There's just not enough info in your post to hazard a guess. But in general, I'd say it's in your best interest to be gracious and welcome the new baby.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

It's not a matter of should or shouldn't.
It's up to the babies parents to invite who they want to be there for their childs ceremony.

They are not obligated to invite you/your kids.
They might feel differently after the wedding.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

They are involved with each other. It isn't like we don't spend time together they actually refer to each other as step brother and sisters. But you guys are right it is their party and the bottom line is they invite who they would like to invite. Maybe my children think their relationship with them is more than it actually is. Thank you guys for your help

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

L. - welcome to mamapedia.

I don't see you have answered ANY questions....I vaguely remember a question being asked "am I being to sensitive" but I believe that W. was married....

HOW OLD are your children?
WHY do you feel they should be invited to the Baptism?
ARE THEY actively involved in this W. and child's life to be invited?

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Springfield on

the mother and father of the child being baptized get to decide who gets invited. your kids may not make that list and thats ok. my adopted into my family as my "new aunt" got married, and i thought forsure i would get an invite, none came. i was a lil sad. but i understood that she wanted a small gathering to celebrate. (i later found out she told my mom at the reception that she should of invited me and don't know why she didn't so i felt better)

any way my point is its not your decision. do not hold a grudge if the kids are not invited. be happy if they are and understanding if not

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

How old are your kids? Do they live with you? The invitation could have been for the family if they live with you. If they are gown and his daughter is not close to them she may not feel the need to invite them. She's inviting his children because they are her siblings. It could have been an over site or she just might not like your kids. You living with your fiancé has nothing to do with anything. Be thankful she invited you!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

Would inviting them be the kind and appropriate thing to do? Of course it would be! But does she have to invite them? Sadly no, she does not, and she is the one who gets to decide. We can't always make people do what is right and kind. I can speak from experience here, my step sisters (who were adults when my mom and their dad got married) have always been awful to my mother, always thoughtless, and sometimes downright mean. There is no reason for this other then that they don't like their dad splitting his attention away from them. And while I have always invited them to events and send holiday cards and the like they have never reciprocated in any way. In the end it has cost them, not my mother. My step father is not blind to their treatment of the woman he loves (as I am sure your fiancé is not) and has started doing things to protect my mother from his children, which means his children end up losing out on times we could all be together. It is sad, but it is the path they choose. Just be the bigger person and always remain kind yourself. Best of Luck!

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