My Ex Didn't Show up for Our Mandatory Child Custoday Mediation.?

I was advised by my attorney to keep a detailed log. Every date that he is late. Phone calls when meetings are agreed on, times he shows up, leaves, etc. No emotions, just facts. If he no shows, shows up 5, 10, 15 minutes late - it shows a lot more if you have a persistent pattern and actual dates. I just kept a little spiral note pad and wrote everything down. I typed out the log that I had and turned it over to the courts.

They definitely do take that into consideration - they are trying to determine what is best for the kids. As to will it help you - I guess it depends what you're trying to get.

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Yes, the judge is going to HEAVILY consider his actions! At least the judge is supposed to. You should have sole custody since he sounds like the loser of the century! If he has paid nothing for his kids, missed the mediation, moved far away with no notice and you don't even have a way to contact him if something happened to one of your children -those things alone should give you full custody. The fact that he's married to someone who has been a danger in the past to one of your children and has mental health issues should seal the deal.

S. I am sorry that your sons and you are being treated this way by their father. The judge should take into consideration that your ex didn't show up to the ordered mediation. In my custody case my son's father didn't make an effort to show up to court for a recent appearance (he was there for the initial custody judgement 3 years ago), and the judge was quite displeased. The family court judge's number 1 concern is the well being of the children in the case, and the judge will take into account the father's behaviour in making any decisions. I am glad the mediator was a witness to the no-show and recorded the evidence of the lack of communication and no-shows or late pickups. It is always good to keep a record of those things. Furthermore, if its not clear in the mediation paperwork, make sure the judge knows about the relocation 6 hours away, as that will factor into the judge's decision about when and if your children should have to make that trip to see their father, or, preferably, that their father will have to travel to your home when he wants to see the boys (this may help eliminate the issue with the new wife as well). In my case after my ex stopped visiting, the judge had no problem revoking his visitation rights. Good luck to you!

for your sake if he doesnt show I think its kidnappping which will get a warrant. even if he does show up this counts against him and the judge will eat him a new tail maybe even revoke all custody because of it.

Most judges will consider "no shows" and not look favorable. If he doesn't show up for the court date they should rule in your favor (sort of by default). Know what you want and ask for a bit more and seem perfectly reasonable about it. Then, when you compromise, you will get closer to what you wanted anyway.

Shelia, I hope that you have a support system in place to help with the children's needs. You should have proof that his new wife has been a harm to the child. Just becasue someone is bi-polor doesn't mean they would be harmful to a child. So what do you actually mean "she put hands on your child" Could she have been keeping him from doing something dngeous? Since the youngest may be to young esp if you are nursing to leave then he could very well have no ability to take cae of that child. Although I am sure that the judge can require you to stop at a point that is reasonable. Show proof of his not being responsible and if it was an inconvience to you. Did you have to chancce plans or hire a sitter when you thought they would be with daddy. Many men would never have accepted the last baby since they were leaving and starting over so I m glad you had this baby for yourself. If the man does not show up the Judge with all his experiance will do what he knows is right. The man may send a lawyer in his place who knows. I have to tell you from experiance with family members that they have been told a father has the right to see his children even if he doesn't pay support and contact with the children is an option as well. Was he an involved father before he left? If not then he sure wasn't going to change after. Hopefully you will all be able to be considerate of one another esp since he has remarried and someday you might, for the kids sake and to have a bette repour with the wife. My sisters found this vey helpful--not easy but helpful. Just be yourself, ask the Judge if he can have the man's paycheck attached , his income check attached to pay for your child support. This worked for some of the women I know. But I hope you have a job that gives you the benifits you need to make it and to have some security.
your in my prayers.

Yes, in my experience, the judges in family court in my district do take that kind of thing into account.

my friend went through this the father failed to show up to a court ordered meeting she was granted full residential custody right then & there.This is how I would love for it to go down not the fact that he has no interest in them but the fact that there is no fight for custody..

I would go after full custody and show he is not responsible for his children. Then he can pay you child support or make an effort to do what he needs to do. I would not be nervous just get strong and go after the best interest for your children.

Good luck.

N. Marie