My Duaghter Wants a Piercing!

I usually don't even give things an option for my kids that are not "age appropriate."
Until she could legally walk in on her own and get it done at 18, then, it is a no. As long as kids live until my roof, they will follow the rules set forth. This way, I hope to make them productive citizens of this great nation. Part of being a good, productive citizen, is learning to follow the rules.
Money can't buy you anything you want. Especially the right to break the rules.

I have several piercings in my cartilage, an eyebrow, both nipples and my tongue pierced and I'd say NO WAY ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?? No piercings other than ears until my kid is eighteen, period. Maybe an eyebrow at sixteen, and that's a big maybe.

Most reputable piercers won't pierce anyone under the age of 14, so you have a couple of years. Also, at age 14, one can not be pierced without parental permission. I think it is at age 18 one can be peirced without permission.

A number of ppl have mentioned that it could chip or crack a tooth. Beyond that, it wears spots in the enamel on the back of the teeth. What happens then? Follow the logical course.... tooth decay sets in, in multiple spots. It is horrible for the teeth. My sister is a dental hygenist. She's taken entire classes on this. Also, the chances of tongue cancer after a piercing rise dramatically. Not a good idea at any age.

Personally I think the 12 year old is searching to see where the limits are. She subconsciously needs them (and needs to push the limits). You are the parent and need to establish the limits and hold them. My own opinion is that it is harder to parent a teen than a toddler.

sigh...
okay, she is 12.
Not a 21 year old.
This will set a precedent... for her and the other kids... that you do NOT want to slide down. Slippery slope as Dori W. said below.

It does not matter if she listens to punk rock or not. She could be listening to Sesame Street, and still want a tongue piercing.

And gee, do you want BOYS, her age and older... making sexual comments to her because of her "tongue piercing"??? It is stereotyped, as a sexual pleasure... by kids, who don't know any better. So... would you want even GROWN adult men, making innuendos to her???? A 12 year old?

She could pierce her ears.

I think, on a 12 year old, it is gross.

I have had piercings... in my life. I have even done my own. Just with a cube of ice numbing it. I am not against piercings... but ya know, this is a 12 year old. You are a Mom.. and at some point, well, just say no. I would to this.

Are you pierced too? Maybe they just want to be like you?

*Next, is this even a REAL legit post? You don't seem to know what your daughter even listens to for music. You said her school doesn't mind the tongue piercing... And this is your first posting and you are 'new' to MamaPedia? 3 out of your 4 girls have piercings... but if they are adult aged... not a minor, then they can do it without your consent. Next... what is their Dad saying about it????

all the best,
Susan

No, you should not allow a 12 year old to get her tongue pierced. There can be serious complications like broken teeth, nerve damage, damage to the back of the teeth from the ball rubbing/hitting the teeth, bleeding, infection, speech problems.

We as parents are responsible for shielding our children and making sure they act age appropriate and are exposed to age appropriate things. Getting any form of piercing other than ears at age 12 is not age appropriate. Allowing children to do things far beyond their maturity starts a slide down a slippery slope imho.

No offense, but are you serious?
She's 12....wants a tongue piercing...her school doesn't mind...she can pay and take care of it herself....
Are you serious?

Have you asked yourself why a 12 year old would want a tongue piercing?
A girl my sister grew up with got one as an adult because of the "sexual thing".
It got so infected she dang near lost her tongue all together.
So much for cool and fun and "sexual". She couldn't even eat food for 4 months AFTER a doctor had to take it out because her tongue swelled up so much.
I don't know how old your older kids are, but I would say absolutely NO to this whole idea. Just my opinion. God creates children with perfect skin. If they want to ruin it with piercings or tattoos, they can do it once they are adults and out of my house.
That's what I tell my kids.
I did let my daughter pierce her ears but beyond that, her body became her own responsibility when she was 18 and out.

I'm surprised you say the school doesn't mind. Believe me....a 12 year old at school chomping on her tongue piercing.....they won't think that's cool at all.

I don't mean to sound brash, but I just think even considering it is ridiculous.
Just my opinion.

Hi E.,

I agree with checking with the dentist. There may be an issue with teeth but he will also tell her about the diseases of the mouth that she will be susceptible to. Let her see some pictures on the internet and she may make the decision herself. If not, just put your foot down. It's asking for trouble.

M.

You are way to lenient as a parent!

don't say yes! what if they hit the wrong nerve and she bleeds to death? she can chip and break teeth. it could get infected. not to mention the sexual comments at 12 :( not a good idea!

.

Yucky.. First of all her dentist will tell her it is not a good idea. She can chip or crack a tooth.. It happens many times, when people sleep.

The other thing is that the tongue can take a while to heal and I heard it is the most painful place to pierce..
Check it out..
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As someone who has had many piercings over the years including a tongue piercing from 18-22 I would say wait. It is ALOT to take care of if you want it to heal quickly and without issues. I had to be VERY diligent with the cleaning and pay close attention to what I ate and how I talked until it fully healed. It will swell and if she doesn't take EXTREMELY good care of it, it will get infected. I personally had a friend in high school have to get hers surgically removed so it does happen it is not an urban myth! I would make her wait at least a couple more years. Make sure she wants this for her and not to keep up with her sisters. If she is really wanting a piercing for self-expression I would consider a less invasive one, maybe an eyebrow or belly button. Either way, IMO, 12 is WAY to young for a tongue piercing.

2 words to that.....HELL NO.

Not on your life! First off my dentist says those things cause far to many broken and cracked teeth. Secondly, Infection rate on tongues are high. I kind of like my kid with a full tongue. Then there is what it says about the person who has the piercing. From what I understand, one of the main reasons people have the tongue done is to give sexual pleasure to their partner. I sure as heck wouldn't want anyone to think that of my child, especially my 12 year old.

It's really a shame that you need to come here to ask if you should let her do it.

I think 12 is way too young to have her tongue ppierced. I do beleive in having kids express themselves and it seems like lately they do this with piercing...but a tongue peircing also has alot of sexual inuendos think about how family and friends and strangers will perceive your 12 year old daugther. Some may say they do not care what people think but does your 12 year old need to experincing this kind of judgement so young?

We're going to have the same rule for our kids that we have for ourselves. We think about it for a year, then if we still want it after a year, we get it. That way, if what she's doing is a fad, she'll grow out of it. I've done that with all my tattoos/piercings, and I don't regret any of them. They're all small, meaningful, and easily hideable.

If she still wants it after a year, I'd say go for it. A piercing isn't really like a tattoo... you take a tongue piercing out, it grows together in a day or two. The only thing I'd suggest (if she does end up getting one) is that you get her plastic barbells. The metal ones will ruin her teeth.

WOW! I was reading some of the other responses. I'll add my two cents if your still interested...I Think that 12 is kind of young, but only you know your child. Do you think she is responsible enough to care for it properly? (I have heard that an infection in the toung from a piercing can be very bad.) If yes, then you are prob. right. Also, do you think it's appropriate at her age? again, if yes, then go for it. Only you know her. Other people have strong opinions about things like this, that's fine. To each their own. I don't think people should judge each other so harshly.

Tongue piercings are actually prone to infection - the mouth is the dirtiest place. That said, the stud things they put in there can break teeth, etc. I'm not sure that age 12 is appropriate for such things. I'd make her wait until she is 18. Also, check out the things that can go wrong with those things... it's simply nasty!
LBC

One 16 year old I taught had her tongue pierced, and could hardly pronouce anything for days. Then it got infected so badly that she had a fever. She had to remove it because it was so painful.

My beautiful niece has her tongue pierced.

I told my children that when they are 18 they can mutilate their body, but not until then, except for ear lobes. Our family is quite conservative when it comes to piercings and tatoos. You have to decide what is your tolerance level for your family.

Nah. I vote "no." Too young for that.

First of all I think some people are beating you up about it. They should look in the mirror.....nobody is perfect. It is not my place to judge.

I am not against piercings, my ears are pierced and I never wanted more but I did get a tattoo. However, when my then 14 yr old really wanted a belly button piercing I made her wait until she was 15 to see if she truly did still want it or not. She did. So I did sign for her to get her belly button pierced. She does have to cover it for cheer and school but she loves it.

You pick your battles.

IF she were to come to me for a tongue piercing, I would have to decline to sign. She has a perfect set of teeth, and the risk of infection, etc is just too high. Quite honestly, she would not do anything that changed the look of her face as in nose, eyebrow, tongue.

It is not permanent like many said, however, I just think 12 is too young to make a decision like this and the risk is too high. It sounds like she is trying to check where her boundaries are.

no freaking way. I've had my ears pierced since that age, but tongue pierceing is a WHOLE nother thing. She has NO Idea what goes into the care of this, and sorry, but my first thought with a tongue pierceing ISN'T punk rock, it's oral sex pleasure. Once she's living under her own roof, fine, but the risks are too high for infection, damage, etc.

I would say NO to tongue piercing!

My personal thoughts on the issue is no piercings through muscle or anywhere near veins. That means the tongue is off limits. Ears, bellybutton, eyebrow, nose, fine whatever. Not my cup of tea but whatever flicks your bic. Stay away from anything that could get massively infected. Tongue and genitalia ... just, no thank you. I don't need to pay for any hospital bills. When you move away and want to get infected on your own dime, go nuts.

You tell your twelve year old that if she's still excited to put a hole in her tongue when she's 16, then you can talk about it again. When I was twelve I wanted to do a lot of retarded things that weren't good for me. For example, I wanted to fly so bad I would jump off all sorts of places with a blue tarp tied to my wrists and around my neck. Brilliant.

Twelve year olds don't make the best choices in life so you are there to put the skids on things until they've expelled most of their immaturity. Some take a long time, slowly letting it ooze away, while others mature in fits and bursts. A twelve year old's brain is not ripe yet. It's like a green grapefruit. Don't let unripened fruit make important decisions.

I had a few and i took them out when i 'grew up' and needed a 'real job' I dont think it is a big deal it is her way of rebelling/fitting in w/ others/expressing her self whatever.....but 12 is a bit young. I know all things are happening faster these days so maybe it is not young I just feel it is. can she take care of it herself? can it be another body part? does she have the means to pay for it (or half of it) herself? those things might be something to consider.

I got my first non-traditional piercing at age 14. I had my tongue pierced when I was 21, and 10 years later it is still in. The first month it was very swollen until I started using carbamide peroxide (a more gel-like type of peroxide used for cold sores, etc., available at any drugstore). It was definitely my most painful piercing by a long shot.

As you can see from many of the responses, there is going to be a lot of negative reaction from people. If you are just looking to find out what other people will think if you let your daughter get a piercing, you have your answer. But you know your daughter better than anyone. Good luck.

No shes 12 and they CAN not saying will but can cause tooth problems. Plus I think in a few years she might want it out and then that was a waste of money! IMO

I think that her age is really a big thing. 12 years is way too young. I just took my daughter and got her nose pierced and my family thinks I am not thinking right. First place, my daughter is 19. She was 17 and got her cartilage at the top of her ears pierced. A really big thing is that I don't think that a 12 year old would be responsible enough to do the proper cleaning on this. That would be a big thing because any piercing takes a lot of responsibility so it does not get infected. Let her read more about it and if she is still interested in about 6 more years then she can do it .

I am all for piercings.. at least they come out, right? Although.... she is 12! That is a little young for tongue piercings. Maybe let her get a second set on her ears? Tell her that she can get a different piercing for a birthday present when she is 16.. ( which is the legal age that they can get them with parent's consent anyways). If she regrets it when shes older.. she can take it out! No biggie. Hope this helps.

I didn't let me children get piercings until they were 14.

I don't think a good piercing place will pierce the tongue of a minor. Even with parent consent.

Personally, I thinkk body piercing is disgusting and these kids will regret it
at some point. I would definitely say no to her. She is only 12. How
old are the other kids who have all these piercings.

My dau had ears pierced young then another 2 holes done as rewards lastest becauses she passed all regents. Start with ears i dont allow tongue or belly button till 18 and pay for it themselves. But I guess it hard
for her she wants to follo her sister what does dad think

Ok you got many responses so what's one more? I have nothing against piercings however a tongue piercing is very distracting constantly sliding your tongue around and yes chipping the teeth. Also a tongue piercing has a sexual conotation to it. She's too young. What school does she go to that allows it? even when I had employees and we worked in a very funky fashion house they had to remove the tongue piercing as it was too over the top for our company.

Ask a teenage boy what he thinks about tongue piercing. They love a girl with a pierced tongue because she can 'perform' better. I hate to talk like that, but thats how it all started. NOT ALL girls do that, but it leads boys to believe that they will. I subbed in the high school for many years and heard kids talk. They tend to ignore subs as if we were robots.

So how old were your other girls when they got belly rings & lip rings? What difference is it on this child that any other child you have? You obviously allowed this for your other girls so why deny her this pain. I honestly think she's way too young for sucha big bodily modification. Have you asked her is it b/c other kids at school are doing this & she wants to fit in or does she find pleasure in making large permanent holes in her body? I am totally against grotesque piercings such as these & just remember, it's hard to find a decent job that allow such modifications & honestly think it's disgusting to look at & would disown my child if they did this but I know that a person is entitled to do whatever they think is 'kewl' so she needs to be absolutely sure she wants to do this. Keep in mind that she could chip teeth or the ball may come loose & she could swallow it, if the piercer doesn't set it right it could be off center or cause infection. Tongue & genitals are the two most germy places on the body & eating?? You get food in there, can't get it out...infection...GROSS! It's ultimately your decision. Good luck.

I would tell her to choose a different place to pierce (too many potential problems with the tongue). I had friends in college one with a pierced tongue and another with rings in her lip and both removed them to get a real job after college. The one with the tongue was a serious singer (voice major) and wanted to be taken seriously when student teaching.

I know multiple ear piercings and belly rings are pretty common these days but I don't especially care for the look of a lot of other piercings. Obviously that is my opinion though. I would hear her reasons, if she has found a reliable, clean place, etc. and think about it (maybe do your own research). Teenagers respond well if they know you are listening and taking them seriously (even if you say no or set some other conditions in the end).

1) How old were the other's when they got their first non-ear piercings?

2) I'm not totally against it (I like piercings, and unlike tattoos they're temporary), but I would *personally* wait 1-2 years. If she was 14 I'd say "go for it", 13 it would be a maturity thing... 12 just seems a little young. But that's just cultural. Like tattoos. In some cultures tatooing and piercing starts as toddlers. So that's just my rather arbitrary cultural bias.

The dental & the school thing, for me, are non-issues. You get the soft, clear, non-metal ball (or colored if it's a show-off sort of thing)... and she can run it along her teeth all she wants. Tongue piercings are all but invisible even WITH the metal ball UNLESS you're showing it off, after the long bar gets removed a couple of weeks in. So summer is the perfect time to be unable to talk and have a highly visible piercing.

As long as you go to a good piercer, they won't nick a vein or a nerve. But with puberty on it's way (or already there) there may still be some growing going on which could mess with placement later. A good piercer will also be able to tell you (age wise) mouth growth ceases.

At 12 years old! No Way

How old are the sisters? If they are under 18 and you allow it I think you lost boundaries. No, a 12 year old is way too young for a piercing. ANYWHERE.
I had one in my belly and my husband has a tattoo, so believe me,I am not scare about the whole piercing/tattoo thing.
But when my daughter ask when she could have a tattoo I said when you work and can pay for it. Because I am not.
When she is older and work and pay for it, I will be more then willing to go and help her find a good place and even take pictures if that is what she wants, but at 12 not even make up.
That is me, I can understand some people think different.
PS: I am not sure it is legal, is it? Independent of my parenthood ideas, I think a piercing in the tongue is not safe and have more risks then the ones in the belly/ear/lip/nose.
EDIT: When I say when she can pay for it I mean to say when she is a grown up, even if she can pay now I would not let her do it. Sorry if I wasn't clear.

Decide at what age you think it's okay for her to get her tongue pierced and then stick to that.

I personally would say, "no, you can do it when you're 18." But if you are comfortable with a younger age, then tell her that. You're the mom.

Okay, here's the thing. She's 12. I'm 15. Three years ago, I wanted a tongue piercing, too. My parents settled on a nose ring for my 15th birthday. I clean it and take care of it.
But a TONGUE PIERCING. Those get infected so, so, so easily. Not to mention, she'll be swollen for hours after the procedure. Are you sure she really wants it for her own reason and not just to be considered "cool?"
Personally, I wouldn't let my daughter get her tongue pierced at 12 (my daughter's 15 months, anyway, so I have a while hahaha). Again, that's my personal opinion. Her teeth could be damaged, infections can be deadly...You shouldn't take risks just so your daughter can feel cool. I hope I helped just a little bit. (: Good luck.

(Note: If you're wondering why I'm here, look at my profile. It holds the information about myself and my daughter, McKinley.)

No, I would not allow this for a 12 year old. My daughter is 15, and other than two ear piercings (no cartilage) she has no piercings and won't get anything other than ears, if she even wants anything else, until she is 18 and a legal adult. I don't feel it matters that she is a good kid and gets good grades, she is not even a teenager. It does not matter that she listens to punk or rock music - I am 43 and listen to rock - alternative -metal, it does not make me want piercings. Clearly she wants what the older sisters have, and there is no need for her to have it - she can wait til she is 18 and then decide for herself.