My Daycare Provider Is Treating My Daughter Diffrent Then the Other Children

Updated on October 25, 2007
W.S. asks from Salt Lake City, UT
4 answers

I have a 4 year old that goes to an in home daycare. The provider has her favorite for sure. I do not think my daughter is any harm, but worried that her self-esteem may be in jepordy. I.E. i got a call late last night saying that the daycare was closing early adn that I needed to pick my daughter up 1 hour early, So I calle danotehr mom to see if she could help me or mehelp her because there was no sence in both of us missing work. The other mom got no such call adn then this morning when I drop off-- the provider was a little short with me adn "butt hurt" that I ask this other mom for help. long story short it looks liek I was the only one getting the call. Another exsample the favorates get to go and have full run of the house and my daughter has to stay in the designated areas. I am not sure how to or if I shoudl approce the situation My daughter will be there for 1 more year. And goes to Preschool 3 times a week. I always pay on time and in full.

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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

you need to find another sitter, this situation is effeting your daughter probably more than you know. first find her a place then inform your sitter that you will be moving her. Talking to her may make it worse. My stepmother and stepgrandmother both ran daycares out of thier houses for years. All the kids were treated the same of course everyone has thier favorites and there are always difficult kids but your daughter should not be singled out and made to stay in areas while the other kids play. It is upsetting to her and I am sure that it weighs on you and it makes her little life not fun. My theory is that kids should have as much fun for as long as they can and if they are in a situation that makes them uncomfortable remove them from the situation. Do her and yourself a favor and get her a new sitter. She will thank you for it

K.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

W.:

I am sorry to hear this is happening. I have been fortunate to have good daycare for my kids. First and foremost, we all know that children are not perfect. Are there particular behaviors that your daughter has that you struggle with? Has your daughter expressed what happens on a daily basis? It sounds like you definitely have grounds to stand on with the the two incidents you mention, but unless it is a hostile environment-I would communicate openly with the provider about these issues first and see what can be resolved.
Make sure it is professional and try to set up a special meeting with her to talk about your concerns. I would literally say to her, " I have some concerns recently about my daughter being in your care." See what she says...it needs to be an open statement-not one-sided on your part. She is YOUR daughter and you both deserve what is in both of your best interests. Lastly, don't be afraid to look for a new provider if you can't get things resolved. Usually children adjust to new situations much better than adults do! That's what I've found with my kids. All the best and let me know what happens.

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K.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Sounds to me that this is her passive-aggressive way to get you to pull your daughter out without directly asking you. But to find out for sure, set up a meeting and be point blank about it. This is something there is no "easy" way to find out and feelings may be hurt. Maybe there is a reason they are having problems being together that can be resolved or maybe they just have clashing personalities. Who knows. And if her response to you requesting a meeting or having concerns is to say, "maybe you should find other care" then that is EXACTLY what you should do. There's no sense in having someone watch your child that doesn't really want to.

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S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I am sorry to hear that-but if I was you I would start looking for somewhere new to put your daughter. We had a situtation similar with my daughters pre-school and we pulled her this year and put her in a new program. THe difference in attitude, behavior, and just gettnig out the door is amamznig.

Best of luck!
S.

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