My Daugther Making Comments Anout Her Weight

Updated on February 24, 2011
N.R. asks from Houston, TX
11 answers

So I have a sister that she suffering from anorexia and its affecting my whole family,even my daughter (7yr) . I really didnt realize that she was noticing much but she was. Today she makes comment about her weight and how she looks. I tell she looks beautiful just the way she is and that at her age she dont need to worry about that. My concern is that this could get into her head later on and since my sister is so close to us it could affect her. What else can I do?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you Moms! I didnt really wanted to talk to her about my sister problem because I thought that she was really little to know about it and I didnt want to freak her out and worry about my sister. But you are right I just need to be real with her and let her know the goods and bads about it. I would definitly show her how beautiful people are in every size and shape. Once again thank you I'm now able to really talk to her.

Featured Answers



answers from Austin on

You need to be straight with her and explain that her aunt is sick. Also point out good healthy role models and, more importantly, be one for her. Be compassionate, but don't sugar coat this one.

More Answers



answers from Pittsburgh on

I think you need to be frank with your 7 year old about her aunt's eating disorder. Tell her it is a sickness and that even though when she looks at Aunt Suzy she looks thin, Aunt Suzy has a mis-wiring in her brain that tells her she thinks she is NOT thin enough.
Make sure your daughter sees women with strong, healthy bodies--athletes, etc. and discuss how strong, healthy bodies allow them to do what they do....

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I went through anorexia when I was a teenager, and now that I have a daughter, I think a lot about preventing it from happening in her. I think that the focus needs to be less on looking "beautiful" (for a few reasons: 1. It's an arbitrary term and 2. Kids know that we always think that they're beautiful) and more on being healthy. If you shift the focus of your daughter's eating/exercising to doing it to be healthy instead of thin, hopefully she'll get the right idea. Make sure that she knows that all those fun activities that she probably enjoys (as a normal, active, 7-y-o) can only happen if she keeps her body strong and healthy by eating various healthy foods and getting exercise.
But skinny has to be seen as just as bad as fat. Maybe even take a moment when you see a super-skinny girl on TV and say, "Wow, I bet you could out-run her!" or "There's no way that girl could keep as active as you do!" I'm sure this is hard with a sister whose whole life is about getting and remaining skinny. I wish you all the best for your daughter and for your sister's healthy recovery.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with Denise P. This is a life lesson and your sister's current health state is providing it. Use her example to educate your daughter; I would be completely honest with with her.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Williamsport on

The number one role model for a daughter's self esteem is her own mother's self esteem. Not only do you continue to reassure her about herself (good job) but ALWAYS speak kindly about yourself as well. She needs a confident role model who feels good about her own healthy body. If you are ever feeling down about your appearance in any way, do not complain about it, and say something positive about yourself instead. Never fixate on body image. This way, if you feel good and happy and healthy, and you assure you daughter she is, your sister's issues will always stand out more as unhealthy. Also, say nice things about other people including all sizes.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Colorado Springs on

I'm so sorry your sister is having this trouble.

I suggest that if your little girl keeps making comments about her own looks or weight, take her to the doctor for a checkup. Let her learn from the medical professional about how to have a healthy weight and good looks. (She might be more impressed!)

You may have to explain to your daughter that her aunt is having a problem with how she thinks of herself. When Auntie looks in the mirror, she doesn't see what the rest of you see, and it's a very great concern to all of you. (If the problem were, say, smoking rather than anorexia, you'd have explained that even though you loved Auntie all to pieces, her tobacco habit was not good for her even though she thought it was all right.)

Make sure your daughter knows she can talk to you and ask you questions about this whenever she wants to.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

If that were me, (my daughter is 8), I would tell her that your sister is not well... that her body, is not healthy nor her thoughts about it.
Tell her, that this is not normal.
A body should be healthy.
That this is NOT about 'looks' or 'appearance' etc.
TELL your Daughter, what Anorexia is.
She is old enough.

I have actually, already talked to my daughter about things like that.
Because her classmates, talk about their 'weight' and appearance.

ALSO, I would talk to your Sister. Tell her, it is affecting your daughter, her Niece.

Why walk on eggshells?

Is your sister seeing a Doctor or Therapist for her Disorder????

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Houston on

Have a conversation with her asking her questions about what she is thinking/feeling.....what she thinks is healthy, pretty, etc... Focus on what's healthy, food as a way to get strong....have energy, etc

If you just tell her she's beautiful and don't are just covering up what she's feeling and she'll think that you don't understand. She will also not see your comments as meaning anything if she doesn't feel that way--she won't believe you.

great opportunity to talk about these issues (but keep it age appropriate--she is 7) Girls her age are probably starting to talk about what's pretty and who is pretty/cute, etc.....ask more "what" questions---what makes someone pretty, etc? Avoid "why" questions because most of the time you will get "I don't know" answers!!!



answers from Austin on

You received some awesome answers. I just want to add that your husband needs to also comment regularly on how beautiful she is. She needs to hear it from a male and her daddy is the best one to say it - forever, no matter how old she is. If she doesn't hear it from her daddy, she will crave it from any male. (Ever wonder how girls/women stay with scummy guys?) She will expect her mom to tell her how beautiful she is, though you shouldn't stop either. It just isn't as powerful.



answers from Houston on

I love the other responses. I don't hide things from my girls, though, and if this was my situation (I have four girls 8,7,5 1/2, 4) I'd show them photos of very sick anorexic girls (like with IVs and stuff) and explain the illness.

I wish you all the best,



answers from Columbus on

You also have to monitor the images she's seeing - tv, magazines, everywhere. Because you can tell her what a healthy body is until you're blue in the face, but it will be difficult for you to convince her if all the other images she sees validate the idea that an anorexic looking model is beautiful.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions