My Daughter Wont Wear the Dress!!

Updated on May 04, 2007
S. asks from Joliet, IL
11 answers

Hello everyone! I have a 21 month old daughter who is in a wedding June 1st. I know she is a little for this "job" but the bride really wanted her to be in the wedding, so I agreed. Here is the problem...we went to try on the dress for a fitting and she had a FIT! Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get her to wear it and any ideas on how to get her down the aisle? She will also be walking with her 8 year old sister, so I know that might help, but any ideas would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks so much!

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So What Happened?

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all of your suggestions! Well, the wedding was last Friday and she did WONDERFUL!! I put her in the dress for the few days prior to the wedding and let her walk around the house in it...we carried the basket and practiced throwing petals and she was great! I had my husband bring her to the wedding 1/2 hour before so she wasn't bored, we got her dressed, gave her her basket, filled it with mini colored marshmallows and she DID IT!! She did great! she walked down the aisle with her older sister and went to sit with dad who had a ring pop in his pocket!! the bride actually walked down on rose petals AND mini marshmallows!
it was a great day! thanks for the help!!!

More Answers

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A.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter hates trying on clothes anywhere, but home so maybe that was a part of the issue. Bring the dress home, have your older daughter wear hers and use reverse psychology on your younger daughter ("Look how great she looks. what a great dress..guess you are too little to wear such a cool dress") then take pics of the older one as she twirls, laughs, etc. She just may start begging to try it on for the fitting and probably won't take it off.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

S.,

I hate to tell you this, but if she won't wear the dress now, think about how she is going to react in a roomful of strangers when she is expected to "perform!" I wanted my four year old niece to be in my wedding. She did a great job of being fitted, she walked down the aisle wonderfully during the rehearsal, but the day of the wedding, she flat-out refused to walk down the aisle. She turned away at the door and cried in my wedding coordinator's arms. My 13 year old niece, who was also an usher, had to take her place! It made for a very interesting moment in the wedding video! I think that weddings are difficult for younger children because of all of the "busyness" of a wedding day. Maybe you can suggest that an older relative be the flower girl. I would wait until she is a bit older to ask her to have that responsibility.

S. S.

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E.W.

answers from Chicago on

I'm not sure about how to get her to wear hers, but this is what we did for my wedding - my flower girl was 2 1/2 & she couldn't wait to wear the dress...so at the rehearsal her mom put her in a dress-up ballerina dress so she would be usd to walking down the aisle like that. She was pretty good during rehearsal, but the day of the wedding, she ended up covering her face with her basket for 2/3 the way down the aisl & the rest she ran. What we did was she came to our house while I was getting ready and practiced with her basket at the house & then in the dress. When we got to the church her mom went down the aisle before her and my sister (one of her favorite cousins) was also waiting for her so my dad stepped out from hiding with me and helped our flower girl wait until it was her turn to go down the aisle. We think she just got shy of the camera & that's why she hid her face, but it was so cute...I didn't get to see it until I saw our video, but I laughed so hard. I hope the bride will remember she's small & take anything lightly. Just try to lighten up the situation for your daughter, almost make it like she's playing...a princess - it helped me when I did it a LONG time ago!

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K.

answers from Chicago on

well, you could hope that her desire to be like her sister will win out and try having her sister put her dress on and oohh and aaahhh over her. and/or bribery. m&m's work wonders on my 2 year olds. your older daughter could have a hidden stash of them in her flower basket or something. I got a Christmas card this year of a pair of adorable little brothers as ring bearers, each with their own "ring pop" as their incentive to go down the aisle.

Good luck! bottom line, make sure the bride has a sense of humor, wear a closely matching color in case you have to take her down the aisle and keep your ability to laugh intact. Even a crying little girl in a pretty dress will be cute.

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C.U.

answers from Chicago on

Put your 8yr old in her dress and tell her what a beautiful princess she looks like, keep telling her and then ask the younger one if she wants to be a pretty princess too, odds are she will want to do as her sister if you make it a big deal.

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V.

answers from Chicago on

I kind of agree with Saundra. what kind of fit did she have? My niece was in my sis-in-law's weding and she hated the dress too, but she threw a screaming tantrum in church and it was in no way "cute". If you can get her to wear it ahead of time, maybe better--but don't try to "reason" with her. Just bribery, or nothing. Have a backup plan for the day of, just in case.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

You might try seeing if she'll wear it without the shoes, if you can get away with that (depending on where the wedding is being held). I know my daughter doesn't seem to like dresses, but if I leave her barefoot she tolerates them better. She's only 15 months though. You could also try to show her in the mirror - make sure she knows how pretty she looks! You might also try a doll dressed similarly and have her help "dress" the doll first and then herself?

If all else fails though, yes - bribery might do the trick! LOL.

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C.R.

answers from Chicago on

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Bribe her! It's one day. If it makes everyones life easier, than no harm done.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

My 23M son was JUST in my sister's wedding on March 30th as the ring bearer. When he went for the initial tux fitting he had a FIT! We were scared. But, we went through with it and the day of the wedding it was fine. My hubby had a tux on, too so they matched and everything. I think once you try it on at home, it will be a different feeling...especially with her big sister getting hers on, too!

Good luck and take a TON of pictures - even with some crying faces (if there happen to be any)...it's all part of it.

Good luck!

T.

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

Did you only try to get her to wear the dress once? Like all new things, I think a few attempts are necessary to get a toddler to cooperate. Also, were you in a strange place when she was being fitted? Is it possible to have the dress with you at home for a while for her to see, and to maybe get her fitted somewhere she's comfortable, like her own room? I would try to get her used to the idea. Practice dressing dolls in pretty dresses, talk about how pretty she'll be, let her "choose" how she'll wear her hair/what shoes to wear/nail polish color - whatever. It's not surprising that she's resistant - it sounds normal to me. As for getting her down the aisle, just make sure she's walking with someone she knows (your daughter sounds perfect), and put yourself at the end of the aisle so she's walking towards you. Even if she runs, people will think she's cute and no one will accuse her of "ruining" anything. Give her a fun job to do, like dropping rose petals. Don't give up and good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Chicago on

S.,
I don't know if this will help, but we had the same situation with my son at my sister-in-laws wedding last fall. He was 19 months, and I knew that he would have trouble walking down the aisle in front of all those people. We ended up pulling him in a wagon. Since my husband and I were in the wedding, we couldn't be there for him if he freaked out. Of course, I can't help with the dress issue! :-)
A.

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