My Daughter Afraid of Being Overweight

Updated on February 02, 2012
C.W. asks from Ridgewood, NJ
13 answers

My daughter is 4'6 and a quarter weighs 74.2 pounds 10 december 11. is she overweight? she seems average. Her 4'3 best friend 9 years old weighs 58 pounds says she overweight! IS SHE?????????

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answers from Boston on

Tell her little buddy if she doesn't have anything nice to say ... DON'T say anything at all! they're "babies" and shouldn't even be Thinking about that :-( Everyone's frames are different. WOW Talk to her about eating healthy and exercising and that she should LOVE and take care of the body she has !!!!

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answers from Dallas on

I think you need to stop worrying about her being overweight and instead make sure she is eating health foods and getting plenty of exercise. Everyone is build differently, that is what makes us who we are.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

If I were you I would find a way to make this kind of discussion stop RIGHT AWAY! These girls are way too young to be concerned with this. Get with the friend's mom and make a pact to NOT discuss weight at all in front of the girls-not yours, a supermodels, the lady at Walmart....nobody. And do not speak one word of diet in front of them either...not even something like "well, I would love a piece of chocolate but really shouldn't". All of this sends messages to young girls that their weight defines them and is more important than all else. You and this other mom need to model sensible eating and good body image for these girls. You are who they can learn from.

My friends daughter was hospitalized for weeks with anorexia at 8 YEARS OLD!! IT can and does happen to girls this young.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

My son (7) has 18 pounds on his best friend, who is so thin, he's almost scary to look at (and I've bathed him!). What is her BMI from the pediatrician? They are usually really focused on that and you would have been told if she was considered "overweight" by now. (BTW, my son is 7 and ways about 60 lbs. He's a solid, strong kid but by no means is he overweight!)

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answers from Johnstown on

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! This society is too hung up on looks that they forget about HEALTH. Your daughter is FINE!!!! I do believe she's actually UNDERWEIGHT! My older daughter is 4'9 and just hit 92 lbs and the dr. commended her on how well she's taking care of herself.

Edited to add: I just checked and your daughter IS underweight. I'm PMing you the BMI Calculator I used.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

depends on your definition of over weight, i agree with julia, her weight at 11 is the LAST thing you need to worry about unless she's like bulding belly. if you're concerned get her in an activity, and make sure she eats right then she'll eventually "grow into it' if she is



answers from Minneapolis on

Go to the Centers for Disease Control has a children's BMI calculator go on line and enter your child's information and see what her BMI is, that will tell you if you need to be watching her weight or not.

If you're not familiar w/ what BMI is just go to their main page and search child BMI - an article will pop up informing you all about it. Good luck!



answers from Honolulu on

So your daughter is 10 years old????

Just go according to your Pediatrician. BOTTOM line.

Tell your daughter, people come in all shapes and sizes... but they are the same, inside.

My Daughter's friend, always says she is "chubby" and it concerns her. Her Pediatrician says she is fine... just shaped differently. This girl is 8.
Her Mom knows, of her daughter's body/weight hang-up and comparing herself to others.
I explain it to my Daughter... my daughter tells her she is NOT 'chubby'... but is beautiful and don't worry.... she is a nice girl.

My daughter is 8... she is 4 feet and 5 inches tall. Weighs 68 pounds. She is tall and lanky. That is HER body shape. She is fine and per our Pediatrician.

The ONLY thing you should go by... is what the Pediatrician says.
AND... to teach your daughter... about self-esteem and how 'comparing' herself to others.... is not good. It is never-ending. EVERYONE.. is different. NO one is shaped the same.

all the best,



answers from Anchorage on

According to BMI charts, she is underweight. Since she is already underweight, this concern of hers could be very dangerous. Get her into some self esteem workshops if you can find some, and have a talk with this other girls mother as well.



answers from Waterloo on

i think the best way to set this situation straight is to take her to the doctor, get the situation evaluated by a professional, and put a cabosh to this asap. best of luck!!


answers from Chicago on

I think that comes out to about 50th percentile height and 75th weight. I would say that is well within the norms. Tell her teeny friend to butt out! You do not want your daughter to develop an eating disorder. I always weighed heavy despite wearing smaller sizes in clothes than my friends (call me bone dense). To this day, when not pregnant, I wear a size 6 and weigh about 150 at 5'8"...this is a size 6 COMFORTABLY. I did have eating disorder issues in high school and college that started by my mom picking at me for my weight during puberty -- I was at 108 for a long while during high school. Please don't let it happen to your daughter. Best wishes!


answers from Houston on

It depends, what is her bmi... body mass index? You can calculate it here:

Height and weight variables are different depending on body shape and such, since we are all built differently. Is she pudgy, have a double chin, baby fat on her cheeks, does she have belly fat that hangs over her pants? Are these things she's concerned about? If so, then yes, she is probably over weight, and that still depends since a lot of kids with baby fat tend to thin out as they get taller. If not, then she sounds good. Is her friend very petite and thin? Perhaps she is comparing herself to someone who is more petite than average and doesn't understand that. Was it her best friend that called her overweight and that is how all of this started?

I would certainly talk to your daughter about having a positive self body image and keeping it healthy. That means not being rail thin, or overweight, or having perfect proportions, but eating healthy, getting good sleep and staying active.... and help her see that other people saying she's something, doesn't mean that they are right.

This article discusses what a healthy weight range is, and how it changes during this time in kids lives:

According to this chart, 52" and 79 lbs is the average height and weight for an 11 year old girl, and 47 inches and 63 lbs for a 9 year old girl. So, it looks like your daughter is right on target and the other little girl is on the small side.



answers from San Juan on

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