My Child Has Horns Under All That Hair!!

Updated on January 31, 2007
B.M. asks from Mount Vernon, KY
6 answers

Please tell me....what do you do wuth a 6 year old that has "screaming demon" fits as I call them where she kicks the wall-won't stop screaming to save a life- chokes herself-all because she was told to put her toys in the toy box? She is very smart and has no triuble whatsoever at school or with friends.

What can I do next?

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C.E.

answers from Lafayette on

I agree just to let her have them. Ignore the actual fit and then remind her what it was she was supposed to do. She will probably go back to the fit but eventually she will get the point that you are not going to let up.

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M.

answers from Bloomington on

This sounds like my son! He's soo good at school, that I think they must be talking about the wrong child when they brag about his good behavior!

While at home when he does this, what I now do is just calmly let him have his fit. As soon as he's done, or starting to slow down I then remind him he IS going to pick up the toys. We spent about 2 weeks doing this non stop. He would end up wasting most of the evening by throwing the fit. As long as I was strong, and didn't give in and argue with him or try to reason with him, it let up after awhile.
He finally decided that it wasn't worth getting all worked up about. He realized i would NOT give in or let him off the hook. Be sure to not argue with her either. Just state to her what she will be doing.

Hang in there. It WILL get better!

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S.F.

answers from Louisville on

I'm still looking for that "horn removal service" lol. I think it's an age thing becasue my 6 year old son tends to do the same thing. I agree with Melissa in calmly letting her have her fit and then reminding her that the toys WILL be picked up. Threaten to take a privialge away if necessary, I do with both of my boys. Sometimes he calls my bluff, and the last time he did that, I threatend to take his Game Cube away for a week each time I had to remind him that his room needed to be clean. Well, I had to remind him twice, but he got his room cleaned before the deadline. He expected that I would cave in and let him keep the GC, but it is now spending the next 2 weeks in my bedroom. Because I followed through with my threat and removed his favorite toy, he now knows that I'm serious when I tell him that his room needs to be cleaned.

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L.W.

answers from Lexington on

why is it that the smartest kids have the worst behavioral problems? My neice does the same thing and she is a little genius...just highly emotionally charged..just like her own mother! My sister in law has found the best thing that works is to make sure her daughter knows what is expected of her before hand, she even writes up a little agreement contract and has her daughter sign it. then when she misbehaves, reminds her of the contract she signed! She gets privileges revoked alot still and she is now 13 yrs. old. when she is having a "demon" fit, she makes her do it in her room...when she calms down, she must clean up the mess she made in her room during the fit! I think when she is older, she will learn to get her emotions under control alot better. My daughters were the same way from the age of 4 until about 7.
I saw a girl like that on Super Nanny and getting more "quality time" with mom and dad helped her alot...she just had a bad temper, but alot of these behaviors are learned and become a bad habit to get attention. You don't have to tolerate it. I made my girls go to their rooms and scream in their pillows until they calmed down, then they could come out and we would talk about it and cuddle. That seemed to work for me. They eventually grew out of it...they are 12 and 15 now.
as far as cleaning up toys....
One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was in a Dear Abby column....a mother of 7 kids was tired of their messes,toys and clothes strewn all over the place. Finally she assembled them all together and announced " Maids get paid, if I have to pick up your stuff, you will pay me 50 cents per item to get it back" and then she put their stuff in a black garbage bag. When the kids gave her 50cents to get their stuff back she returned essentials like clothing and shoes first before they could get toys back. She said within a week, the maid was out of a job! Consequences work!
Good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Charleston on

My suggestion is that this is a attention seeking problem ,so I would put the child in there room shut the door and tell the child when you are done and calmed down you can come out ,other wise I dont wish to see your bad behavior .Best to you ,have a great day .

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M.H.

answers from Lexington on

B.
My son does the same thing and when I tell him to clean his room or pick up his mess, he won't he just reminds me "he's the baby" and he didn't do it. So now we have a "NOT ME" that lives in our house....The most effective way I found to deal with this behavior is to let him have his fit and tell him okay now your done your toys need to be picked up or if I have to pick them up I will throw them in the trash. Of course I never throw them away I just put them in trash bags and hide them in our basement until he agrees to put them away. It has helped. Hope you find a solution to this problem, please let us know what you decide and Good Luck....

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