My Boss - What Do You Think of This Behavior?

Updated on July 22, 2011
M.T. asks from Saint Paul, MN
19 answers

Hi, I work in a professional position and have worked in similar positions for about 10 years. I've worked in this current company for less than three years.

I compiled some data (which my boss OKed) for a meeting and emailed the Excel spreadsheet to meeting participants, as my boss suggested. She promptly emails the same people "her two cents", pasting one of the columns from the spreadsheet that I just sent , adding her ideas to it.

My boss and I had talked about and agreed on what to talk about (meeting agenda) for the next meeting. 1.5 hours before the meeting, she asks me to type up the agenda and email it to the participants. It wasn't customary of us to do so, but I type it up and send it to the participants. A few minutes later, she emails the same group again, making minor change to the agenda that I sent. Points added were on my list of "things to touch on", but so minor I didn't consider they warranted being separate items.

Anyways, am I justified in being annoyed about these behaviors? Do you think this is overcontrolling? Do you think the meeting participants think it's weird too? If someone typed up an agenda but I wanted to add something, I would just mention it at the meeting. Same thing about the data too, or I would just tell the person who did the work directly, rather than "correcting" (although it wasn't a correction since what I did wasn't wrong) the person who worked on it in front of the whole group.

And she tells me all the time she wants me to work independently - how could I if she's watching over me and changing what I do all the time?

Just want to get others' impressions. I know that it's not as bad as some other bosses' behaviors, but I'm curious how this looks objectively. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Hi, thank you so much for all your responses! It seems like majority of you find it at least somewhat annoying, or strange (if on the receiving end of emails), which means that my reaction wasn't too out of range. Your supportive comments gave me confidence, which will actually help me put up with this kind of thing in the future. I appreciate other perspectives as well; they reminded me of what work is all about - it's not about my ego, it's about the bigger picture. Many of you suggested that I should have my boss review materials before sending them out. This time, I didn't feel the need for that, because we had already reviewed or discussed them, and she told me to "send it" rather than type it up for her, etc. But next time, I might ask her if she wants to review before I send things out. When I ask her, I might even say "...since you wanted to change some things last time" etc. Again, thank you for your comments!

Featured Answers

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I second what Jennifer G. said. I would send the finished spreadsheet or agenda to her for her review. That way she can make her small changes, or, she may even get the hint that she's not letting you follow through with the tasks she's assigned to you.

One of the biggest reasons managers fail is their inability to keep their hands off the details and delegate...

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

She sounds like a micro-manager. I would find it annoying as her employee, and I would find it strange and annoying as a client. I would wonder why she apparently doesn't trust her own employees or feels the need to micromanage everything and it would make me wonder about the behind-the-scenes relationships of the company working for me.

In other words, it would seem really unprofessional but not damaging. It wouldn't reflect poorly on you, but on her.

More Answers

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

In the future email everything to her first and ask her to review it before you send it out to the group. Because that is basically what she is doing - reviewing the work, editing, then resending. I would think the recipients are confused by the double emails - they get one agenda, save it, then get an updated version and have to re-save. It just clutters their inbox.

Your boss may be having trouble "letting go" of the work. Some folks just are not good at delegating and this type of thing is the result.

Good Luck

7 moms found this helpful
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T.B.

answers from Eau Claire on

I have been an Admin Assistant for almost 10 years now. I learned early on that whenever I typed something (minutes, agenda, letters, etc.) to send them to the person first to check for accuracy before I sent them out. That way they can make the changes without having to double up on emails.

Let's the boss feel in charge without driving you insane. :)

4 moms found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from Houston on

your being to sensative that is her job as a boss

2 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

OMG.
I am in a professional position. Have been for many years.
I schedule appointments for all new job applicants and my HR manager changes her schedule practically every day so I have to reschedule.
I work for an agency that places caregivers with clients to be taken care of in their homes and we needed someone who speaks Portuguese for this one little old lady. A blast e-mail went out to ALL employees, over a hundred of them, asking them to notify us if they speak any languages besides English. We got no replies. So, my boss, the owner of the agency, wanted a form typed up where we could keep track of this information as employees signed for their paychecks. I created a sheet to have people sign at the front desk as they got their checks.
She didn't want it that way.
She wanted a form that every single employee was to complete, sign and date as to the other languages, if any. I didn't have time to make that happen, so I just asked each person when they picked up their checks. Zero people speak Portuguese. Two speak Spanish and 3 are fluent in sign language because they have hearing impaired family members.
5 people speak other languages. I noted it in their profiles. Instead of handing out over 100 sheets to be filled out.
My boss didn't say anything because it was a thousand times easier than her suggestion.
However, she had me do another form for office employees to fill out if there was a change in a billing schedule. Five minutes before a staff meeting, she wanted it basically exactly the same except this and that box to check moved around and shifted completely and she needed copies for everyone in the meeting.
I can do exactly as she asks and then she thinks on it and wants it changed.
It happens.
Our clients reschedule or need more time, our caregivers are constantly juggling hours.
The only thing constant about my job is change and I just roll with the flow.
I don't gripe or get rattled.
She actually ended up being fine with my language sheet because I took a short cut and she realized it was a better way. I didn't do that to ignore her instructions, there just wasn't time and I did get the information she needed and have a record of it just the same.
Our staff meetings are noted and the minutes typed and filed to any employee can look back about procedure changes, etc.
I just tell myself that it is what it is.
I know, beyond a doubt, that when I give a draft the way she wanted it, she will go over it and want changes. It happens every single time.
God bless her....she's a good boss. Sometimes she tries to streamline things to the point it's actually more work and it's for her to realize. I try to do what I'm told. I do offer suggestions, but she will always want to perfect something. I just make sure I know where everything is saved so I can make the corrections she wants. And she WILL want corrections. I don't look at it as she is correcting ME if I've done what she's asked and then changes her mind.
It's not my business...it's not my baby. She changes procedures for things all the time and I guess that goes hand in hand with the business expanding as much as it has.
I'm getting paid no matter how many times she tells me to change something so I don't gripe. I may question it inwardly, but I do as she asks and sometimes she decides to stick with the original plan.
It can get frustrating. But it's her personality and she's a very generous and giving person. Very good to her employees. If she has a spazz attack over something, I just let it roll off my shoulders because it's not personal.
Your boss is changing what you do by virtue of changing her mind about how she wants things done. That can get frustrating, but I look at it as it being part of my job to try to keep up with her. I don't let it offend me. I already know she will want something changed. That's just her nature.

I have had way worse bosses, to be sure.

Just my opinion.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

She sounds like one of the worst bosses I ever had. Just protect yourself, so you aren't in a position where she can call you on insubordination. If she approves something, try to get an email from her stating so, if she doesn't email you; you email her to the effect of ' to reiterate on our in person conversation....'
My boss, gave me a glowing performance review only to start writing me up two months later. I went straight to HR, unfortunately her previous two assistants had not so there was no trail/trend with her as the common denominator. I did however, caution her next assistant; it took her 6 months before she turned on her two and a four year battle later the assistant went on stress leave. Again just protect your reputation (work ethic) good luck

1 mom found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from New York on

This is always frustrating but I find it to be pretty common. I think that for the participants, it looks sloppy and disorganized as if she didn't coordinate with you. And depending on the changes it might just make her look silly.

On the other hand if it is a very senior audience (or even if not) I can see why she might want to review what you've done. Not as a slight against you, but just to ensure the correct message/tone is there - and as someone else mentioned she may be getting inspired by you and want to add her own ideas. That way the agenda/message etc. is consolidated.

I think if you approach her and suggest that you send it out to her first in case she wants to add anything that might work best.

If she replies that it isn't necessary and then keeps correcting you I'd be really angry and feel belittled.

Good luck

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

You could try typing everything up as if you were going to email the participants. Send her an email with any attachments and say, "Please let me know if you have any changes/additions before I send this out." (or something to that effect.)

Is it possible she thought of something else after your meeting with her? Or maybe she thought in needed a different nuance?

I agree, it's annoying. I would keep smiling and try not to let it get to you. good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Tampa on

I'd be annoyed too - but she may be a control freak or OCD.

1 mom found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

If I kept receiving these emails as a participant, I would find it very weird. If she wants to proof the work you do, that's fine, and the emails should be between you and her, and the final draft be sent to the participants.

Next time, email her the draft first so she can make the revisions.

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T.L.

answers from Detroit on

Yes, you are justified. My take is that she needs to put her 2 cents in so that it looks to her superiors and colleagues like she's actually doing something other than delegating. Some people will do that to keep their job. Managers are a dime a dozen. Hands on, techinical people are harder to find in the job market. You sound like you are a very devoted, thorough, smart employee who could easily replace her and probably save the company ALOT of money in terms of salary.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Are you sending it to her first for proofing, and THEN she's emailing everyone with changes? Or are you just emailing everyone without getting it proofed?

I've learned the hard way to always, always, always get anything that is about to sent out proofed ahead of time by whomever asked for it to be done. Same token, when I'm asking someone else, I ask that they shoot it over to me first.

Constant corrections (especially en masse) just looks unprofessional. It looks like no one is talking to each other, or someone is sending things out before they've been proofed (aka power struggle).

Now, sometimes agendas change, points change, and there's nothing to be done. Things change on the fly, and an update is better than none, but when it's a consistant pattern of behavior, I drop that particular vendor as quickly as possible, because it's obvious they can't get their act together.

HOWEVER, if it's MINE/ I'm lead and someone comes along changing MY work I get ticked. I did it how *I* wanted it, it's MY "thing". Someone can ask me about x, but I have the final word on x.

So to me, it would depend on whether these are things she's asking you to do and you aren't sending them to her first for final okay/verification... or you are and then she's coming along behind you making corrections after she's already stamped them (making you look bad to others)... or whether these are *yours* and she's poking her nose in messing with your stuff.

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J.R.

answers from Glens Falls on

She sounds very insecure to me. Not sure what else you could have done as you shared with her ahead of time and she knew you were sending it out. It sounds to me like she wants the other participants to think that she's deeply involved in the details of what you put together. So she wants you to work independently as long as credit goes back to her. Too bad she doesn't get it that the best "credit" she could have is an employee who shines! I'm sure the other participants know her personality so try not to let it shake you (although yes, this is frustrating and annoying!) What's her boss like? Does she feel like she has to micromanage because she's being micromanaged or is she just somebody that has to hog the spotlight?

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M.H.

answers from Green Bay on

If I was on the receiving end of these e-mails I would think you two aren't getting along. I would also think in my head that you are going to be gone soon (either quit or fired). My suggestion is start having her do a final check before you e-mail it out so that she can get a final ok on it. She is making it clear to everyone that you are acting without approval. So, I would solve the situation by giving her what she wants. Final approval on all things.

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H.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

She's a nasty micromanager. I'm sorry.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

It's not as bad as some other bosses but it can make you nervous nevertheless. The only thing I can think is that she is in some trouble and is covering her butt by doing this. Or she is feeling threatened by You? You sound very smart and maybe unknowingly someone was mentioning innocently that you are destined for greatness.Nowadays so many people are really getting bad about things because everyone is worried about their job security. If you can take it lightly and not get upset about it,that would probably be the best. If it continues I might rethink that one. Good luck.

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H.M.

answers from Omaha on

I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Unless she's a witch who always trying to find some way to be rude to you I'd let it go.

I was kinda wondering if you were one of those people that can't stand being wrong or being corrected. Very domineering and she is as well so you are butting heads. Or heck maybe you don't respect her or think she shouldn't have a position over you because you are smarter, better, more equipped than her. So any correction isn't ok.

I don't know those were just the things I was wondering. But I wouldn't sweat it. I wouldn't take that as a big deal. I'd bet it's just a personality thing between the two of you. Try and think about if this would bother you if any other boss did it to you. Then maybe you can see if it's personal between the two of you or just a personality quirk.

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