My Boss Is Insulting My Husband and I... Do I Ignore It?

Updated on February 22, 2007
A.D. asks from Mesa, AZ
4 answers

Hi! My name is A. Dunahee, and I just gave a 2.5 week notice to my boss as her nanny because our needs were not matching up. She needed someone who would never take a day off to tend to their baby, someone who would work 9 hours a day 5 days a week without any lunch break, and someone who would put her before their family. I was not being a good mother to my baby because of this, so I told her and now, she is treating me like dirt... today, for example, the two main comments that I heard were: " I was kind of thinking you and your husband weren't committed to your jobs." and " I should have looked into your profile closer, and checked your references. I thought we had a good thing, but I guess i was wrong." I feel attacked. I gave her three extra days notice to be nice, and she hasn't come up with anything pleasant or even civil to say to me all day. I've been good about brushing it off today, but I still have 15 days before I can be gone completely. I don't think talking to her will do anything but aggrivate the situation, but I feel so tense now listening to her comments because I want to defend my husband, and my daughter. She's a horrible person, and the thought of dealing with her for 2 weeks is weighing on my self-esteem, majorly.
Two weeks is the best way to leave a job, but what do I do about the rude comments in the mean time? I cannot go to anyone above her because she's as high as it goes. I'm stuck. any suggestions will help! Thanks!


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So What Happened?

Hi! i wanted to thank all of you for your feedback on my request. I decided I'd hold my tongue and tough it out for two weeks, then my boss called me on saturday, before the monday that would start my two weeks, and told me she found someone who could take my place right away, and I didn't need to come back! So, it all solved itself, and we are much happier. I hope her new nanny doesn't have a family to care for, otherwise she's going to have a problem. But, at least it isn't my problem anymore. It was nice to hear that I wasnt just expecting too much from her, your comments made me strong enough to stand my ground. So, thanks!

More Answers



answers from Phoenix on

Well, I will tell you one are the better person!! For her to treat you that way......oh that would make my blood boil. You are being the responsible one by giving her a two week notice. I have a feeling that you aren't leaving them high and dry because you are thinking of the child that you are caring for.......and you are one heck of a good mommy for that. If she continues with the snotty comments, I would remind her of the reason why you are leaving.....because you have a family of your own who needs to be cared for, and you can not do that properly because she is not allowing you too. What do these people think, that the world revolves around them!!! You would think that a mother of a baby would remember that you too have a small child who needs caring for. This just shows what kind of person she is. Good luck to you and you are a good mommy and wife. I think you holding your tongue with her shows that you are ten times a better person.



answers from Phoenix on

WOW thats bad. Well if it were me and I am not saying I am right I would just quit cause no one deserves that from a boss. Your family is always first no matter what. What does she do expect your baby to get so ill cause you can't even get the kid to the doc cause she won't let you off! If you must stay I would just ignore her comments and not make the situation any worse. Good luck and I hope you will be much happier when you leave that job! Have you been able to line a job up?



answers from Phoenix on

It's tough when your boss is a jerk. Sometimes turning the other cheek just allows them to slap that one as well. I would suggest that you do talk with her about her comments. Can you start the other job sooner? If so then you have nothing to lose if she decides to let you go before the two weeks are up. If she is bad mouthing you now, she is not going to be a good reference later anyways. Personally, it bothers me when people with children put their careers first. It sounds like she feels her career is more important than her child to demand that you are there no matter what. I had a boss who thought he owned me as well and complained when I took time off when my kids were sick. He would ask why my husband couldn't do it or my mother. My husband did take time off when possible and I didn't always tell my boss when one of the kids was sick, not that he needed to know. But to imply that my mother should be responsible or better yet a friend's husband really irritated me. I told him that I was responsible for my kids and I will be there when they need me. If that was a problem then I would start looking for another place to work. He backed off and apologized for being insensitive. His kids were grown and his wife had stayed home with them so he had no idea how hard it was for me to work and be mom. We ended up working together for six years before I left to be closer to home and my children who needed me more. I hope that the next 15 days go by quickly and without anymore rude comments.



answers from Phoenix on

This woman, for lack of a better word, is a B*tch. If she's treating you this way while still employed by her, she will be even worse if someone calls for a reference. Even though she can't legally give out opinionated information like that, but no doubt she will. And once it's said, it can't be taken back. She is pissed that you're leaving because now she has to take time out to find your replacement. It has nothing to do with your performance, she's just trying to get back at you. Which is very childish. She's selfish and is blind to the fact that she is being very unprofessional. Or she just doesn't care. Either way, drop her like a bad habit before she can grate on you any longer. She's not worth you time, nor energy. And if she tries to withhold earnings, take her to court. Good luck to you!

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