My Baby to Kindergarten...

Updated on April 30, 2012
A.M. asks from Oskaloosa, KS
12 answers

ok moms, kind of a question (how do you deal with this? there, i asked a question) but also looking for some company for my misery lol. ok misery is an exaggeration...

my one and only is going to kindergarten in the fall...we have done pre-enrollment and visited the school this week...and i had just a horrible, pms-esque week and i am attributing it to this fact.

i hate it. i am proud of him, he's a good big strong boy, smart, healthy, polite, sweet, silly and wonderful. he doesn't need to go to kindergarten for me to be proud of the big boy he's becoming! lol!

the problem is that there is no logical argument or "talking myself" out of feeling this way. it's purely hormonal. no brain involved - only my heart!

he has been soooooooo excited, and has been begging to go to kindergarten for about a year and a half lol.

he started to get a little quiet the other day, playing with the packet of books, worksheets, flash cards, and crayons, that the kindergarten lady gave us, and said he didn't want to go. i probed a bit and he admitted he's nervous about not knowing anyone, etc...(he does tend to get shy at times like me). honestly this almost made me feel better because i could be brave FOR HIM lol. i felt better after consoling him, almost like i was consoling myself too lol.

ugh! but everytime i think about it, my sunshine goes behind a tiny cloud, just a bit. and then i shake it off...i have felt better after that first day...but i do think there is an underlying stress over this. please tell me that i won't have to spend the whole flippin summer depressed! lol!

thanks mamas!

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So What Happened?

aw thanks ladies, you're always so great. i should add, he was in an in-home daycare from about 6 months till age 3 1/2, and is now completing his second year of preschool. he's great, knows all he's supposed and gets along with other kids and's just the great unknown, you know? for him i mean. for me it's "losing" my baby lol. thanks again!

Featured Answers



answers from Chicago on

Waaawaaahhh waahhhh. I am right there with you Mama! My baby is going into first grade next year and it is soooo hard to come to terms with the fact that my little one is fast becoming not so little.

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Austin on

I know how you feel. Our daughter was the same way. Was so excited, but as it got closer, she became nervous.

She is shy.

The first day of school, they had them meet in the cafeteria. They sat at tables marked for each kinder teacher. There was a little girl sitting there and I said to her, "Hello, this is Angela, what is your name?".. She answered "Paige".. I said "well guess what Paige? You and Angela are going to be classmates!". And so our daughter sat next to her and the rest is history. Our daughter and Paige are both still friends and both are graduating in MAY!!

I on the other hand My husband went outside and held each other. He was a mess, I felt a migraine coming on , went home and took a nap and then met up with a friend that took me to lunch, so I could talk about the whole thing..

The day went by pretty fast..
The best part was our daughter loved everything about it.. That helps a lot..

FYI, The kinder teacher is one of our friends on FB! She still keeps up with the girls.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

It's bittersweet. Here's my take on it:

1. Put on your BRAVE face-ALWAYS!
Talk up the cool school, his teacher, how many friends he will meet & make and how big he's getting! (Ignore the rotting feeling in the pit of your stomach--IGNORE IT!)
2. Steel yourself for the first day. Get everything ready the day before, take LOTS of pictures (you can do this in the same spot, every year), get O. of him stepping ON the bus, if he takes a bus.
3. When you have 5 minutes, write a list of 10 things you need to accomplish...stuff you haven't been able to get to in years.
4. The first day of school, YOUR assignment is to be Mom Cheerleader and Deliriously Happy Mentally Unstable Person. At least until the bus pulls away.
5. Recklessly RUN back to your house, from the bus stop, get in your car, fire it up like the Dukes of Hazzard and FOLLOW THAT BUS! Drive to the pre-scouted vantage point that will allow you to watch him get off of the bus and into the school. Use binoculars if needed.
5. Drive home. In tears. And silence.
6. Wipe your eyes and look at the list you made a few days ago.
7. Curl into a fetal position and drink some vodka.
8. Attempt to accomplish 2 things from your list of 10. Cross them off.
9. Pace around your house a great deal and basically blow the entire day, feeling as if you've lost a limb.
10. At the proper time, be at the bus stop WAAAAY too early for his return. Cry. (Silently and out of sight!)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Lakeland on

Take a deep breath and relax. Keep pointing out the positives to him (and yourself) about starting K.

My daughter was like this last year, she was excited about starting school until a couple of weeks before. She too was scared and nervous about starting. I kept reminding her that she will have fun and make new friends.

The first week was tough for both of us, but she got into the routine and now loves school.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dover on

Your son is growing up and although he will always be your baby, he is not a baby anymore.

I have two kids but they are 15 years apart so I went through "my one and only" starting school (he's now 20 and in college) and will go through my last starting this year. It's always hard but exciting too.

You have to do what you have to, psych yourself up and be strong for him because kids can sense our nervousness and it will make it harder for him.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

We have an only as well. She is 17 and will be a senior next year. Oh what will I do.......

Whatever you do, make sure he does not see you being sad. This is HUGE for him, it sounds like he can't wait to get there. That is a good thing!!

We have to let go in baby steps to prepare for the big steps and this is a big step for your family. Enjoy these moments with him and treasure them.. Before you know it he will be off to college!!

I started volunteering in the school and I ended up becoming a substitute teacher and I am still subbing in the same elementary school where my daughter went. It is like we are all family. Enjoy your time to unwind, etc and be ready for him when he gets home from school to tell you all about it.

Hang in there.... You'll do fine...

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Put him in summer school locally as an intro. We did summer school at a local Montessori and by the time he had finished K, he had gone to 3 schools. He's flexible and new situations and people don't intimidate him.

My son BEGGED to go to school, he wanted to ride the bus and play in the playground. At 3.5 we signed him up for Pre-School and off he went, the minimum time - 3 days a week for 3 hours. Then, he went to Pre-K every day and seemed fine. Both were at a private school. He was 4 when he started an all day Kindergarten at a public dual immersion (speak Spanish and some English) school. He loved it. After Kindergarten graduation, we were on our way home and he sighed in the backseat, "I'm so glad that is over. I never want to go back." WHAT????

We discussed things with him and agreed to try to homeschool him. Well, that's what we did. He's now 9 and in 5th grade and excelling. He LOVES learning again and he gets to be a kid. No busy work at school and no ruined family time after school with more busy work. I always wonder what they do at school all day when they come home with MORE work? My son does about 2 hours of work each day, since if we made him do more hours, he'd be in high school. He gets up at 6am (on his own accord) and sits down and starts his work. I'm still in bed until almost 7. He's done by 8 am and we have the rest of the day for him to ride his bike, play with his siblings, read one of his 800 page books, etc. I also work outside of the home and all of my kids do well.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

All of my kids LOVED kindergarten, as a teacher I hear many children cry on days when there is no school. If a child does not like his or her kindergarten then something is probably wrong with the school or class. When I hear of parents thinking about home school I always recommend letting them go to Kindergarten first, then home school. It's so much about experiences, and activities, and socialization as well as learning to learn.
Of course many kids are nervous and shy about the first few weeks. My very shy son said "I'll go to kindergarten but I WILL NOT play with anyone new." I said OK and hid my heavy heart. Within days he was telling me about his new best friends. Try to hide your trepidations from him, dont let him think there are things he NEEDS to know before K, dont let him think he MUST make new friends or play with strangers, just let him know he will be giving Kindergarten a try in the fall and will probably LOVE it. Have you thought about sending him to a week long camp or bible school this summer if he never did preK?

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

You might want to talk to other parents who went through this last year. I've been told that it doesn't usually take long before they don't even look back.

I have a soon to be preschooler and we're also sending one off to college. I will miss lunch with my baby girl and, yes, I will miss my teenaged SD, too. I'll probably cry a little. I cried when I went back to work and those first weeks at daycare. I cried when SS went to college (though I can't say how much wasn't pregnacy/post-partum hormones) and when he went abroad for a semester and he did fine. I tried to save my tears for the car, though.

If he's like my DD, he may need some reassurance. If you have friends with older kids, let him talk to them. School can be fun! Take opportunities to go and view the school. Many are open for summer school or camps. Ask if you and he can just walk around, see where his class is, etc. My DD's preschool has encouraged us to visit so she has a clue before September (she's only been inside once).

It's a transition, but it'll be alright. You'll both get through it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Yes, it is a little sad to linger on how you baby is growing up. My oldest in finishing K now. If your son is doing well in preschool and ready for K then help him get ready emotionally. It's an adjustment for a lot of kids. You are teaching him a valuable lesson on how to try new things even if he is a little bit nervous.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

This is what you have worked hard for for five years. You have raised him
to be a happy, healthy, polite little guy. You have done your job well. Be
proud. It is exciting to see them go off and explore their new world. He has
so much ahead of him to enjoy. Thanks to his Mom he will take on new
challenges and enjoy them. So don't be sad. Pat yourself on the back for
the great job you have done. There is so much out there for him. You
gave him the foundation now let him fly!



answers from Kansas City on

I also have an only-child, 5 year old entering K this fall. I don't have any of your feelings at all. In fact, just the opposite. I am so happy for her. Of course, I am 55, so maybe I have a different perspective.

Most important, you must realize that your feelings are probably being sensed & reflected by your son, so you MUST stop your crying and "cowgirl up" as they say!

S., why don't you be proactive about finding out who some of the other children are in your son's future class and arrange play dates or a summer picnic so that he can get to know some of the kids. This would totally alleviate his fears and help you to meet the other parents. My daughter's school has summer t-ball for the K class. You bet I've signed her up to play, primarily so she can meet her new classmates and I can get to know some of the other moms/dads.

This is a time to be joyful that your son has progressed along his life's journey to this next phase. Don't mourn it, enjoy it!!

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