My Baby HATES Car Rides!

Updated on December 02, 2008
K.R. asks from Valley Center, CA
28 answers

I'm not sure if this has been answered before, so I apologize, but I hoped that I might get some good ideas from the ladies here! My four month old daughter absolutely HATES car rides. She screams non-stop from the beginning of the ride to the end, and progressively get more and more panicked. We have tried putting mirrors in front of her seat (the kind I can use to check on her), a toy for her to bat at hanging from her car seat handle, playing music, singing, talking, nursing....everything! My two year old has learned to sleep through it, but it really frazzles my husband (and therefore makes me frazzled as well--anyway, more than it already does!) I can't stay home all the time, especially with an active toddler. Any advice would be wonderful!!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your wonderful answers! I really appreciate knowing that there are others out there dealing with this ;o)
I am going to try and switch her to a rear facing convertible seat and see if that helps. I am also going to try the static noise idea--actually, everything that everyone advised will be used! Thank you again!

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Both of two youngest boys hated car rides too (now 2 y/o and 8 months). For us it was because they were belly sleepers and hated being in their baby carriers on their backs. We ended up buying them convertible car seats that allowed them to sit upright and see outside. My 8 month old took awhile to stay in the seat without wailing, but he finally took it. Also, I should mention they were both breastfeeding and were looking for that closeness, once on the bottle, I started feeding them in the carseat so they would have that comfort while they were seated there. Good luck!

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A.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it is just a stage, my son did the same thing at that age and soon enough grew out of it. I just avoided/limited time in the car unless it was nap time and he could cry himself to sleep. He also hated the stroller at that age so walks were out too. Now he is a toddler and I'm fighting battles of getting him INTO his seat, but once he's there he is fine (plus I can reason/bribe him now!) :)

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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,

Check behind the cloth of the child seat seat (behind and under where the child sits). There may be a strap or LATCH end (or toy) that is poking into the child's back or bottom and is making the child uncomfortable in the seat.

However, my primary concern is safety. I want to address a few issues from the list:

1. The harness should be tight enough so you cannot pinch either harness strap (like you would try to shorten it -- NOT like you would try to make it more narrow). You should almost be able to pinch it, but not quite. The "one or two fingers under the strap" method is outdated. If the harness is too loose, the child may be ejected from the seat. Child seats are primarily SAFETY seats, not "comfort" seats. By the way, the harness clip is always at armpit level.

2. Don't use mirrors that attach to the auto headrest in front of an infant seat. Two reasons. Parenting and driving should be done separately. If you're driving and need to parent, pull off the road and do it safely. Was it this list where I read something about a mom that reached back to a child and rolled the vehicle?

Second, mirrors are not tested to resist crash forces. If the mirror weighs one pound, at 30 mph the mirror weighs 30 pounds. And guess where it will fly if it fails in a crash? Right into your child's face.

3. Someone mentioned using a noodle. For a rear-facing seat, a noodle (or tightly rolled towel) may be used to increase the angle of recline. An infant should be reclined at about 30 to 45 degrees, but no more. If the infant sits too tall, the head may flop forward and potentially block the airway. Too far back and the child's head (being the heaviest part of an infant's body) may be pulled in a crash and cause damage to the spine.

4. Keep your child rear-facing as long as possible! "One-year and 20 pounds" is an absolute minimum and is not best practice. With some infant seats now rated up to 30 pounds and "convertible" seats (may be installed rear or forward-facing) now up to 35 pounds rear-facing, why would anyone want to degrade their child's safety by turning them forward facing too soon.

Yes, I know: "My baby's legs are scrunched up against the seat back." My answer: "Legs and feet heal, brains and spines do not."

Because I care,

-- M. Cohen
Passionate Child Passenger Safety Instructor I-575114
###-###-####

Loving Step-Father of Melissa Monique 1980-2002
Loving Grandfather of Alec Jaye 2000-2002
"Again this year, Alec and his mommy won't be going to Grandma's house for the holidays."

1 mom found this helpful
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D.E.

answers from San Diego on

Hi K.,

This happened to a friend of mine--miserable for her too! She also had a toddler and a newborn, so staying home a lot wasn't an option. She said that the baby eventually stopped doing it just before she had to check herself into the funny farm.

:-) D.

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son would cry like a banshee when he was little, too, when he was in his car seat. Turns out we were melting him with a warm blanket; the fabric on the carseat really held the heat and he was overheating.

barring any comfort issues, take a deep breath and remember that phases will pass!
C.

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

Don't stay at home. Go about your business. My youngest son was that way until he was about 7 weeks old. We live 30 minutes from the closest grocery store, so there was no getting around long drives. We just kept our cool, and he eventually grew out of it. Your problem is really your husband. He needs to relax and know that it is a phase. It is just baby stuff, and he is an adult. If he stresses out, it affects the entire family. No good. He needs to change his mood and his attitude. Good luck! This will pass before you know it.

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J.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son hated car rides at that age too, turns the incline of his infant carrier was what he really hated. We switched him to a rear facing britax convertible at about 4 months, he's now almost 3 and loves to ride in the car.

you could try rolling up a towel and placing it under base to change the angle and see if that helps.

Good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

You amy want check the straps. They may be too tight. (They are always growing at this age). My daughter went through this until my friend suggested we check the straps and they had become too tight. After loosening them, she was fine.

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My twins hated the car as well. Eventually she will grow out of it. She just has to figure out that no matter how much she protests, she will have to go in (and stay in) her car seat. The other thing that helped was moving them up to a stationary car seat (out of the infant carrier).

Good luck

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A.P.

answers from San Diego on

My son did this until we bought the convertible car seat. He had more room and wasn't as hot or confined. He's so much better we're thinking of our first road trip for the holidays!
Best of luck!
A.

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

My baby was crying too and it turned out when I asked the doc it was because it hurt her tummy-she had reflux like issues. We changed the angle of the car seat and that helped a ton.

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I so empathize with what you are going through! My son was like that until 7 months old. He hated anything that was confining, or had him in a reclining position. He did not have any health issues, he just didn't like those positions.
I don't remember at what age your baby can move to a Britax, that might help. I tried the mirrors and toys, and you name it.

The best I can suggest is to try to time the rides with when the baby is getting sleepy and pray that she sleeps through the car ride.
I know that during the screaming a minute can feel like an hour, and how hard that is, but really, this too shall pass.
Hang in there, Mama!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

That happened with my younger 2. Where Kayla's used to Nalani screaming her head off. My husband's car as a TV in it while mine does not. Not sure if this is within your budget range but the TV really did help a lot.

S.

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L.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I went through this with my son when he was around the same age and it turned out that he did not like his infant car seat. Thankfully, someone told me that some babies do not like being as contained as they are in an infant car seat. So, I bought a Britax Roundabout carseat and he stopped crying when I put him in it. It was worth the money to me for the peaceful car rides. He is now 13 months and still loves his regular car seat.

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M.C.

answers from San Diego on

Hi K.,

You've gotten some good suggestions of things to try. My daughter was the same way and I never figured out the cause of the crying. It just eventually stopped. She is now 13 months old and obviously a spirited child, so I think it was just a personality thing. (We also had a major battle over getting her to take a bottle.)

The way I coped was loud music (Baby Einstein Lullabies) and white noise (I bought the CD "For Crying Out Loud" and played the car noise with wipers over and over). Sometimes these things helped her. Sometimes they just helped me to drown out her crying/screaming and keep focus on driving.

She did out grow it, and yours will too. Just hang in there and go about your business the best you can. Remember to do what you need to do to not let it affect the safety of your driving. Pull over and take breaks if you need.

M.

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E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,

I was told to place a photo of you (mama) directly in front of baby so she can see your face. I have heard this helps her to see you, when she can't 'see you'.

Good Luck,
E.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is her car seat reclined too much? If she is reclined too much, there will be more pressure in her ears since her little eustasion (sp?) tubes are more horizontal (which is why babies and young children get more ear infections) which means that the saliva will be running into the back of the throat and could run into those tubes. You could also see if it's the motion or the white noise that's bothering her. Is she bothered by being in a swing? Is she bothered by sitting on the dryer when it's going? Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is your daughter otherwise ok in her carseat or on her back? My daughter had TERRIBLE reflux and the infant seat was a torture device b/c she was so uncomfortable in that position. We had some terrible car trips as a result When we switched to the Britax seat where she sat more upright it got a lot better. Just a thought.

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J.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh how I have felt your pain! For about 3 months my daughter HATED her car seat and I would loath going anywhere in the car. I would get so stressed out in traffic. I'm sorry you are going through this. It will pass though.

Some things that seemed to help at times (although some days it seemed nothing worked) for my little one were- putting a soft toy that had the little clip attached, so I could hang it in front of her carseat on the roll bar of the infant carrier. It was a plush frog toy that had rubber ends and stuff inside the fabric that made it crunch like paper. You can find all sorts of these toys in the infant toy section at Target. Next, was white noise, like static. Living in LA, most radio frequencies are taken up, so it's hard to find static on the radio. For 99 cents on I-tunes, we purchased a white noise track. Probably one of our best purchases ever! We also put white noise on lightly at night to drown out the sounds that would wake her up.

Hang in there! It WILL get better :)

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter was the same way we thought it was gas and not wanting to be straped down. We just had to wait it out I know its hard it took my daughter about 6 months. I would also play music for her in the car to her age group that was the only thing that helped along with a vibrating little toy she could hold on and chew.

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids hated the car too until they were about 6 months old, and then it all changed. Hang in there - I think this is actually kind of normal. I have a theory that riding backwards makes them sick to their stomach - I swear the second I could turn them forward (at 1 and 20 plus pounds) the upsets stopped.

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O.K.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hello :) before buying a new seat try taking the infant head support out and going for a ride. My daughter HATED rides until I took that out and then she was fine - it's magic and it's free!!!!

good luck

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S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I went through the same thing with my second son. Nothing helped; my husband bought ear plugs for him and my older son but I just had to endure. There were times i had to pull into parking lots and get out of the car and cry myself. But it will end, eventually! Hang in there and know you are not the only one!

S. P

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T.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Check your daughter's carseat to make sure it is comfortable. I had an issue with my daughter when she was a baby where the padding in her carseat slipped out of place so she was sitting on hard plastic edges. Once I replaced the padding, she was good to go again.

Good luck!!

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H.M.

answers from San Diego on

The Wiggles music helped my little guy who also hated car rides. I first tried soft soothing music and it did nothing. He loved the song Hot Potato! Good luck

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try putting in somebody elses car for a ride see if she reacts the same way, it might be the car is to loud for her, it might be where she sits she feels the tires, and this one is what bothered my son, every time we went up a hill then down it was like riding in a elevator, his equalibrium spell check, was not devoloped fully and it made him dizzy. so I just found a small quiet roadway that had a hill on it, and drove up one way then down turned around did it again, and again and again and again and again, about 25 times, try placing some baby ear muffs over her ears, the sell them at most stores winter dept. Might help with the sound.. put up on the windows the pull down tint shades the sun might bug her eyes. process of elimitations is all.

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T.S.

answers from Honolulu on

aloha,

i have a 3 month old that hates car rides, as well. i was given the advice of trying a good quality static radio station and it has been a godsend! i just turn up the static to match the volume of her crying (adjust it as she calms) and she stops crying almost immediately! try it and let me know if it works... i hope so, because i know how stressful a crying baby can be when there is nothing you can do, especially if you are driving. the static may not be the most beautiful sound, but it sure beats the distressed cry of your baby... i actually find it quite soothing now. :)

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