My Baby Always Smiles While Nursing

Updated on November 02, 2006
P.M. asks from Salem, OR
7 answers

My 3-1/2 month old will nurse for a few minutes and then he catches my eye and stops nursing to smile at me. I always smile back (he's too cute to ignore) and that just makes him smile and talk more. He frequently becomes too distracted to continue nursing, or at least it makes the session last a long time. When I give up and switch him to the other breast he latches like he's starving and then a few minutes later he starts with the smiling again. He's been doing this for about 6 weeks. My problem is that he wants to nurse every 2 hours (on the nose) during the day and stopped sleeping well at night. I also have a toddler to care for. My baby is 16 pounds so there is no "failure to thrive" going on here. He's just a happy, roly-poly baby boy.

Should I ignore the smiles during nursing? I really want him to nurse less frequently, or at least more effectively. And I would love for him to start sleeping for longer stretches at night. He used to sleep 7 hours and then about 4 more after he nursed, but now wakes every 2-3 hours. All night long.

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H.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi P.,

What are we going to do with these phases? It doesn't matter what the situation may be but it always seems like a disaaster when these phases hit.
Do you remember when he was about 3 weeks old and all he did was nurse every hour on the hour? It only lasted 2-3 days but it seemed like forever. Then the 6 week growth spurt phase and made it thru that one. Maybe didn't seem as bad as the first.
Well, welcome to the 3-4 month old phase.
The reason he is nursing, pausing and nursing again is a nasty phase! Your baby is so confortable with the nursing situation and he is becoming aware of his surrounding enviroment. He is already a smart baby.
My daughter used to do this to me at the 3 am feeding. She would nurse lacadasically and want to communicate and play during and after a feeding. As much as I loved her smiling face and knew that there was nothing better to give her than my own milk and time, it was quite aggrevating. Here are some things you can try.....
1. Try nursing in a quiet, dark room with little distractions or noises.
2. Remember to keep your finger readily available to break the suction if he takes the nipple for a ride. If he clamps down and refuses to let go, then push him into the breast. This will cause a brief laspe of being unable to breathe, causing the mouth to open wide and let go of the nipple.
3. Its ok to respond to his smiles ect. but that may also be encouraging the behavior. You may need to play chicken with him to decrease the length of times at the feeding. I know it sounds awful but place your child down when this behavior starts. Stop the feeding and put it back in your control.
Most babies will double thier birth weight by 4 months and triple it by 1 year. If you are right on track, then offering feeding but not extending them may cause a brief want of more BF sessions but it also sends the message that this is feeding time. It usually doesn't take more than 3-4 times of discontinuing a session before they catch back on to the feeding routine. Do expect some crying and not so happy response if this is the route that is taken.
4. If you are confortable with the weight gain and almost ready to introduce cereal, that might be ok. Introducing solids between 4-6 months is totally appropriate, and it is also ok to wait till 6 months.
5. He may be getting impatient with a slower than liked response to the letdown reflex. Try to do some message and breast compressions during and before feeding.
6. Also keep in mind, he knows how to bf at this point. He may not need a full 20-30 minutes in order to get all the milk he needs. He may just be playing at the breast. I like the idea of switching breasts. You may want to consider doing that each time he offers a look and a smile. This may be his way of letting you know thta the letdown reflex has slowed on that breast and is stronger on the other side. It's ok to switch breasts 3-4 times(or more) while breastfeeding. As one side lets down the other side prepares to let down. Thats why alot of women leak from the other breast when bf is just getting established. This is also why alot of mothers get more milk when pumping both breasts at the same time.
7. If he is developing teeth, then when you stop the feeding and place him down, give him something appropraite to chew on...a wet/frozen face cloth, a teething ring, ect. This will also discorage biting while BF.
8. Unfortunatly, just like any phase, it seems like a real problem or delema right now. It should end soon. Then you will get in the next phase and think , well, I guess the last one wasn't so bad.
9. If he continues to nurse and play and we ignore this response, then the next phase may be biting. I can tell you, teeth or no teeth it can hurt. Its just one more way of getting your much needed attention.
10. Last but not least, one more phase. This can be a scary one if we don't know why it is happenening. I expect that his bowel movements will become much less frequent. He may have been moving them 2-3 times a day and now its more like 2-3 times a weeek. This is not a sign of constipation. When they do move the bowels less frequently, and when they finally do go they seem to explode. This is an important age to have an extra set of clothing for emergencies. When I say explosion, I mean up the back, down the legs and everywhere else. So be prepared.
Part of the reason this happens is because your babies body is using up all the important parts of the breastmilk and not having alot of waste products left over. This will increase again when you are ready to introduce cereal and other solids. You may also smell an oder once other foods are introduced into the diet.
This may also be a time to consider birth control other than lactational amneria. (Lack of periods during exclusive breastfeeding) This method is not as effective once something other than bf has been introduced, that even includes a pacifier. And even though you may not have resumed menses yet, keep in mind you can ovulate with out a first time period, So I would not wait unless you want more children quickly.
I hope some of this info has helped. Hang in there! You really have made it this far. This is not a sign of weaning but curiosity. So keep the cat out of the room. You know what curiosity did to the cat?
Good luck!
H. B.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.Y.

answers from Cheyenne on

Part of the Nursing Experience is the shared smiles, bonding with baby, etc. This is part of HIS nursing experience, and should be for you too. This is one of the reasons that women do nurse their babies.

If the problem is that he is taking too long to nurse, and nursing too frequently, when they hit their growthspurts this can happen but it usually only lasts a couple of days. Just hang on. I had to go through them double (nursing twins).

Also at 3 1/2 months old, they should still be nursing every few hours, but at night, it really just depends on the baby. My daughter would sleep all night- sometimes 12 hours straight at that age, but my son woke up at LEAST twice a night to nurse.

If in doubt- get a book from or CALL the La Leche League. That is why they are there. Good luck.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

Hi P.,

It's really common for babies to start becoming very distracted while nursing at this age. Breastfed babies will ensure that they get enough to eat, so what they don't take in during the day they make up for during the night, which is probably why your baby is all of a sudden waking up more frequently at night. Night time is a good time for babies to nurse because it's dark, quiet, and there are no distractions, so many babies learn to take advantage of this time. My son did exactly the same thing when he turned close to 4 months. He used to nurse great during the day and sleep great at night, only waking up once. Then he started nursing not as long during the day, and waking up every few hours at night to nurse. He is 5 1/2 months now and still has this pattern going, though his night wakings are starting to become fewer as he's learning how to nurse more efficiently during the day. I read a great article about this phase on the website www.kellymom.com. There's a lot of great information about breastfeeding there that was fun and informative too, so you might want to check it out.

Good luck, and enjoy the smiles, they're my favorite part about nursing :)

-A.

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C.M.

answers from Portland on

My son used to smile with a drop of milk drooling down his cheek..
Here's what I did: I allowed him to stay in my bed and he slept longer at night. In the summer, I would sleep topless and breastfeed him. In the winter, he would gather up against me and wake me up some times when he want/needed to be breastfed. Rarely, I fell asleep with him on my chest in my bed. Some times, I was sitting up breastfeeding with a lighter-weight fabric covering my shoulder and his head. When my son drank every 2 hours or less signified to me that he was ready to start drinking from a bottle with a little of baby cereal mixed with a lot of my pumped breastmilk so his stomach stays full longer. As for you, use your good judgment as how to balance the baby cereal-milk percentage in the bottle for your own baby. My son is a happy boy nowadays and he sleeps by himself very well with encouraging.

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W.J.

answers from Eugene on

I would imagine that your baby is doing just perfectly. You may want to get the book called the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It is more rare for a baby to sleep through the night at that age than it is to nurse around the clock. Breastfed babies often wake up every 2-3 hours, it is normal. I understand about needing to care for you other child. I think that the smiling is his way of showing you that he is done on that side. Some babies nurse quickly and then are done. With that sort of weight gain I would think that he is just an efficient nurser that is growing a lot so needs frequent refueling during the night. You are doing a great job and this time will pass so quickly. Your baby will be running around before you know it.
W. Jones
Breastfeeding Educator
http://www.mosaicbaby.com

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K.

answers from Anchorage on

he sounds much like my daughter.... although she nursed every hour, on the hour, every hour of the day. She was that way until 15 months... it was agony... I forever felt attached by the boob LOL

At 15 months, when I had slept more than an hour at a time in a year and a half I was desperate to get some sleep. I did the No Cry Sleep Solution, and it was a godsend! She finally slept... for 4 hours straight (that had never happened).

It never did lengthen her daytime nursing sessions, but she at least starting sleeping at night!

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S.P.

answers from Reno on

Hi P.-

I have been taking Early Childhood Education courses and they all stress the importance of taking advantage of opportunities to personally interact with your baby such as at feeding time and diapering time. According to everything I have read, I don't think ignoring the baby would be a good idea, if it's even possible to ignore a cute, smiling infant.

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