My Almost 3 Year Old Will Not Potty Train.

Updated on June 21, 2007
N.A. asks from Springdale, WA
11 answers

I am a mother of of a 3 year old little boy and a 6 week old little girl. He will NOT potty train and I am going crazy. I will put him on the potty and as soon as he gets off and gets his clothes back on (he has to be clothless on the toilet) he will poop his pants on the way out of the bathroom. I ask him all the time if he needs to go potty and even when he says no I will still take him in to sit on the potty. What is up with this? I have tried rewards and everything. He is just not getting it. Is he just not ready? The thing that sucks is that even when he goes potty in his pants he will not tell me, which is odd because I would not think that he would like to be wet? HELP!!!! I am simply out of ideas.

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G.

answers from Omaha on

My son was having problems at that age too and someone suggested this cute little DVD on Potty training. It has very cute songs and he fell for it. Should you need it I amm willing to give it to you should you need it. I live in Northwest Omaha and my email address is: [email protected]____.com

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S.M.

answers from Lincoln on

When my son was 2 I attempted potty training but it was obvious that he didn't "get it" and he also didn't care. He would have walked around all day in the same diaper all day and not cared. I tried forcing the issue but he just became more obstinant and cried when I put him on the potty. I gave up, because he always got so upset I knew it was pointless. But I started putting him in those Cool Alert pullups so he would feel when he was wet. We also started putting him on the potty at times when we knew he would have to go and made it fun (stickers were a big insentive for him). At 2 1/2 I KNEW he was ready. So I put him in underwear and sure enough, when he wet his pants he just sobbed. I told him it was ok, he needed to start using the potty or he'd always get all wet, and that was that. Potty trained instantly. He had 3 accidents that first week and never did again.

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H.O.

answers from Fargo on

Hi,
My daughter is 3 1/2 and just became potty trained about 3 months ago... I was becoming so frustrated because every other girl her age was potty trained long before. I had been encouraging toilet use since she was 2, and finally right before she turned 3 I really tried every kind of award and nothing... just would go in her underwear or pull-up. So as a last resort, I gave up... what I mean is I completely ignored her not wanting to go on the toilet, and never said much about her going in her pants, except that it was ok... I would turn the conversation completely around so we NEVER talked about potty-training... I needed a break from it and apparently she did too because it was about a week later when she decided all on her own to go in the bathroom... she asked for help and I encouraged her but still did not "even notice" the accidents. It took about 2 more weeks and she was completely day and night trained... basically doing it all on her own. I figured I had taught her the skills and it was just up to her to decide to do it herself. I hope this helps and good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Des Moines on

N.,
I had the same problem with my little boy. It got to the point that it was such a hassle that I told him when he was ready to start using the big boy potty that I would take him to Chuckie Cheese (his favorite place on earth) and left it at that. Once I stopped constantly trying to get him to go, he all of a sudden started using the potty. To try to make sure that jealousy wasn't a factor, we would set a "date". We would go do something fun like go see the newest kid movie. On these "dates" I would let him do something I normally wouldn't--like have a pop. Hope that helps.
C.

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J.M.

answers from Des Moines on

I have a friends son who didn't master it until 4-4 1/2. just be consistent about asking and if he'll sit on the potty let him sit and get comfortable with it. Some kids don't like the idea of going because that's part of them and they don't want to lose it. seems silly, but he'll get there.

Why not have him clean it up if he goes in his pants. If he has to pick up the #2, his hands will wash. You'll be standing there with him so you can make sure he doesn't touch anything. My sister would put her dau's in the tub and make them wash off. (she usually had to go back over them, but it was the idea of taking time to clean up)

Don't stress over it though. he'll get it eventually, maybe not as soon as you want him too.

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H.M.

answers from Omaha on

My daugher is 3 years old and 2 months. Anyways, up until 2 weeks ago that was always her behavior. Didn't matter if I praised her, told her how important it was, How proud mommy would be, gave her rewards, she just wasn't doing it. Then all of the sudden about two weeks ago that all changed. I'm sitting here 3 days without an accident! It just happened over night. Over night she just got ready! Before that I saw she wasn't ready and patience was my friend. So you'll get there. I just never relented and kept trying. And now I'm happy to say that I think she is potty trained! She is wearing underwear and everything. Last night was her first night in underwear and not a diaper EVER and she was perfect in the morning! So just keep trying.. It will happen!

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

Here's what has worked with the last 4 of my 7 kids it took 2 of them to figure out, and had them potty trained by 25 months ( my youngest is only 10 months old so I haven't done it on him yet but I will) And thats boys and girls. For me I plan a few days were I can be just at home, do you use a potty chair? This is how it works strip him naked and let him be that way, put the potty chair in what ever room he is in (normally I would start introducing it a couple months earlier but you already have) and let him know this is were he needs to go, I find keeping it by them allows them to just go when they need to instead of running them to the bathroom, it's the same idea to them as a diaper, just going when they need to. Expect some accidents, don't make a big deal about it an "oops you had an accident lets clean it up" is all it takes, by that 1st evening he should have at least done it a few times, repeat the next day, once they have it figures out put his big boy undies on him but keep moving the potty chair around, there might still be an accident because there is a barrier there know but that doesn't take long to correct itself.once he is pretty confident in the underware move the potty back into the bathroom. For me it takes about a week,and a little longer for the nights to stay dry. I've taught this to a few friends and it worked with there kids.If you have any Q's just write me I'll be happy to help.

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T.P.

answers from Omaha on

I posted a guidline recently about a class we took about potty training. if you can't find it let me know.
my son is 3 and 4 months. he just got potty trained two weeks ago.
sounds like he's not ready. and with the new baby in the house i'm sure that is puting a glitch in things. any changes, espeically a new baby, can delay the process. even make kids go backwards even after beign potty trained even before the new baby comes. i'm sure there will be stories like that you will get.
i got this book,,, that really helped me. The Potty Training ASnwer book by Karen Deerwester.
I would say wait a while longer.
my son too has to have all his clothes off when going..lol but i'm getting him more and more to leave his shirt on.
we have books in the bathroom that are his for him to look at. and i've had to be extra extra overly positive and check myself and my emotions when potty training and even now, two weeks later, he's still learning how long he can wait till he runs to the potty..lol
let me know if you can't find that post..
T.

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S.T.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Your son i take it is the oldest so he has no older sibling to look up to and to learn from so it may take longer. Kids are like leading a horse to water in the pottytraining department. You have shown him the basics and the ideas of how to do this so just simply let it go until he decides on his own. My son was scared to sit forward on the toilet so i tried one day putting him on backward, he had the tank to hold onto and when the bm came there was less splash since this area was aimed to the shalow part of the bowl (less scary), also this helped with number 1 flying everywhere it just hit the back of the bowl which resulted in hardly no mess to clean up afterward.

Also since your son is 3 and he knows what a bm looks like and smells like and where the potty is try taking his soiled diapers to the toilet and puting the bm in there and flushing it down. This does two things...reduces the smell in your garbage can and he sees his bm being put in the toilet and flushed down. Subliminal pottytraining. :)

Another hint for when he is pottytrained and you are in a public restroom. Take a peice of tp and put it over the automatic sensor of the toilet flusher. Less scary than a constantly flushing toilet on a 3ft little kid.

Just relax my son was 3 1/2 when he was trained and my friends boy just started using the potty 2 months ago and he turns 4 in another 2 months. Its all on their time not ours.

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S.P.

answers from Boise on

My oldest boy was not potty trained until he was about 4 1/2. When I pretty much stopped caring (or acted like it at least) then he started caring. Boys do it when they are ready and not before. My youngest son started potty training at two. Big difference. But again, he didn't do it until he was ready and I hadn't even started talking about it. I think the less pressure they feel the better. Good Luck!

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A.R.

answers from Des Moines on

Don't worry too much. 2 of my boys were 3.5 and 4 when they were potty trained. My youngest son has other issues and still has accidents(he is 7) so I can't really say he is all the way done but nn general I think most boys are around 3-4 yrs old when they are potty trained.

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