My Adult Daughter Still Uses Her Home Address for Her School Loan Bill.

Updated on October 18, 2017
A.M. asks from Saint Louis, MO
15 answers

She told me she called the loan company to change her address. It has now been several months and I still get these bills. I don't pay it and have forwarded them onto her thinking she'd get the hint. I don't think it's my place to give the company her address. Any advice?

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D..

answers from Miami on

Oh good grief. Don't keep forwarding it. She's a grown woman now. It's ridiculous that she's so lazy.

The next time she comes over, hand her the phone and tell her to call them. Stand there until she does it. Tell her point blank that you aren't going to forward her mail to her anymore. She needs to GROW UP. Yes it's easy to do this for her, but you are enabling her. Stop doing it.

Updated

Oh good grief. Don't keep forwarding it. She's a grown woman now. It's ridiculous that she's so lazy.

The next time she comes over, hand her the phone and tell her to call them. Stand there until she does it. Tell her point blank that you aren't going to forward her mail to her anymore. She needs to GROW UP. Yes it's easy to do this for her, but you are enabling her. Stop doing it.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Sometimes these companies take a long time to update files. Or maybe your daughter wants you to keep seeing that she has loans, hoping you'll help out.

But stop hinting.

File a simple change-of-address form with the Post Office to forward ALL her mail to her current address. You'll never see any of it. When my son did this, the USPS sent a verification form to be sure he really wanted his mail forwarded, but after that, it all went smoothly.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

She's not going to get the hint. You need to talk to her about it. Tell her the bills are still coming to your house so they didn't change her address. Don't call her out and say she didn't actually call them, but rather say the company must have made an error and not changed it. Tell her she needs to call again because you cannot continue forwarding the bills to her.

4 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

I realize this is a bit of an inconvenience for you, but it only takes a minute or two to cross of your address, write hers and "Please forward" and place it back in the mailbox.

Does she have to have the bill in order to make the payment? We do almost everything by automatic payment, so the bill is really just a waste of paper. Maybe that's why she isn't in a hurry to resolve this.

She's your daughter. Don't give hints. Don't beat around the bush. Tell her straight out. You find it annoying that her bill keeps coming to your address, and you'd like her to change her address today.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.6.

answers from New York on

First, did you co-sign for the loan? If so, I would be caring a little bit more about whether or not she is making the payments on the loan.

Second, unlike what other posters have stated, you cannot forward mail that is not yours. When you fill out a forwarding form, it requires a signature by the person. Unless you plan to forge your daughter's name, the only person who can forward mail is the person it belongs to.

Third, you can stop at the post office and let them know that your daughter no longer lives at your address. Your carrier (or if you have a PO Box, the clerk) will put a note to return all mail that they see come in with that name on it rather than deliver it to you - this is not foolproof, but usually it works once a few things get sent back.

Fourth, student loans usually require name, address and phone number of 2 or 3 references. That means if the student loan cannot reach her, they will be calling/contacting you anyways (assuming you were one of the 2 or 3 references). At that time, you can choose to give them her new mailing address or not.

I still get mail for nearly all of my kids - and the oldest is almost 30. It is random, and some of them haven't lived here in years, but I don't mind. My oldest's Target bill (which she pays on line) comes - I just throw it (at her request). I have two in the military, so I keep their stuff and forward (or open with their permission) what comes. I guess I don't really see the big deal . . .

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Z.B.

answers from Toledo on

She's probably paying it on-line and doesn't really care that the bill doesn't come to her. If she cared, she'd make sure the address got changed.

The next time you get one, just give her a call. Tell her that you will save them for her (or that you are shredding them, whatever) to pick up the next time she's at your house, but you will no longer forward them to her.

I think this is a pretty silly thing for you to care about this. Most parents receive mail for their adult children from time to time. My parents still get things for me occasionally. It's usually junk mail. They put it in a pile and try to remember to tell me the next time I'm there. No biggy!

2 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

When I get mail for someone who used to live at my address I just cross out their name and write "return to sender, no longer at this address" on the envelope and stick it back in the box for the mailman to pick up.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

She needs to fill out a change of address order with the US Postal Service so her mail will go to her own address.
She can do this online or go to a post office to do it.
For several months her mail will come to her and any that had your address will have a sticker on it - and THAT should tell her which companies she needs to contact to change address.
A phone call probably isn't enough - they most likely want something in writing.
It can take a surprising amount of time to get it all sorted out.
If her mail keeps coming to your house you can write 'return to sender - no such person at this address' or send it along to her.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Is she paying on the loan? If not, yes, I would give them her address. This is HER responsibility not yours. Obviously she isn't getting the hint. Instead of hinting, TELL HER what you are going to do.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Write, no one at this address by this name/return to sender then put it back on the mailbox or take it to the USPS office. Or you could simply call them yourself and tell them you're getting mail for someone that doesn't live there. Tell them you will be throwing the mail away after this official notification.

They must have her phone number, so they'll call her and get her new address.

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N.K.

answers from Miami on

Have you asked her about it? Maybe the company didn't do what she requested, sometimes it takes them a few billing cycles to get it done, or they just say they will do something and won't. If they experience a technical issue, they may write themselves a note to work on it the next day and forget, or they assume you'll call back when you see the issue hasn't been resolved. I had issues with my cellphone and I had to call 5 customer service reps at 5 different times when they claimed they shipped me a new phone overnight and it didn't arrive. All 5 people I spoke to within that month promised it'd come the day after the call, and nothing. It appeared.... about 3 MONTHS later.

Also, she may have decided to do this purposely. Although I no longer live at my mom's house, I move around a lot and therefore, to avoid missing out on important mailings that may end up at an old address of mine, I give her home address since she's lived there over 20 years and isn't planning to move any time soon. By the way, just to make you aware, the post office's mail forwarding service only works for a few months. According to their site, "USPS will forward your mail for up to 12 months for First-Class Mail, Express Mail, and packages." Anything that does not fall into those categories is only forwarded for up to 60 days. After that, mail is no longer forwarded, nor is the sender notified of a new address, yet another reason for me using my mother's house address for billing purposes.

I have never hinted or expected anyone to pay anything for me, and unless your daughter has done so in the past, you should not assume that is the reason the statements keep coming to your home. The only way to know is by asking her.

D.D.

answers from Boston on

My kids always paid on line and opted out of receiving paper bills. Ask your daughter if she has that option. If you don't want to get the bills then put them back in the mailbox marked 'Not at this address; return to sender' and the bill will be returned to the sender.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

Is there a reason that you want to avoid communication with your daughter? If not - maybe you could *talk* to her about this...??? Everything else seems unnecessarily passive-aggressive (silently forwarding her mail, marking her mail "return to sender", etc)...this is your *daughter* you are asking about!

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

You need to tell her to contact them and change the address. Sound like even if she did call them that she needs to call again. Tell her don't just hope she get's the hint.

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J.W.

answers from Harrisburg on

cross out address, write "moved" and put back in mailbox. I was once treasurer for a school team and even after having them change the address when I was no longer affiliated, they kept sending things. They changed the address in the wrong place. Twice.

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