My 9 Month Old Son Is Still Not Sleeping Through the Night.

H., The only thing you don’t want to do is let him cry intensely by himself for extended periods of time (i.e. letting him “cry-it-out”). There is some good scientific evidence that this can be harmful. AskDrSears.com has some great advice on sleep problems, on his front page there is a tab on the left side that you can click on that discusses sleep problems. Good luck.

I raised 2 boys and understand what you are saying! My first son went to sleep right away and slept through the night at 6 months. Now my next son did not, I began to think he never would. I finally started to feed him some baby cereal just before he would go to sleep. I found that one with oatmeal did the best. It sticks to the tummy, then he was not up and down all night. One other thing a friend did with hers was to put a small radio on low. This made him feel as if someone was there. Some times a house can be to quiet, and then that scares them. I would try one or the other or even both. I hope this helps you! Have a good day!!

I have three words for you. On Becoming Babywise. It is the title of a book, you can get it for about $11 on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. The authors name may be Gary Ezzo, I think. This book will tell you everything you need to know to get your baby to sleep through the night. It is all about teaching your child the skill of sleeping. I used it with all three of my children and have given it as a shower gift numerous times to rave reviews. It even helped a friend get her two year old to sleep when she had tried everything else!

Ha! Thank God I'm not the only one! My 9 month old son has never slept through the night. I am still breastfeeding and we are co-sleeping. He wants nothing to do with his crib (I've tried and tried and gave up) He sleeps for the 2 hours and then wakes up about 2-3 times every night. The first sign of a grumble/or fuss I just put the boob in his mouth and he's back out within seconds. I'm hoping it passes when he starts speaking english and communicate his needs and can be reasoned with.

hi H.- i am in the exact same position except i haven't let him cry it out yet. he is so bad now he won't even go in his crib. he was starting out in there but now just sleeps and takes naps in my bed. i even had to put my bed on the ground. i wish i could help you but the only thing i can say that we did with our 1st was to let him cry it out. the first night he cried for 3 hours. no joke. the next night maybe 1/2 hour or so and each night got better but he wasn't breastfed at that time. i had to quit at 4 months and we let him cry it out at 9 months. everyone has told me that breastfed babies are different. i don't know many that sleep thru the night. i know i probably haven't helped but sometimes it feels better knowing that you aren't the only one. if someone has some advice for you i would love it if you would share it with me.
thanks S.:)

Unfortunately, I think you need to wait it out. :( My son was exactly the same way - not sleeping at all - until I started giving him formula & rice cereal at 5months then he started to sleep a little better because it coated his stomach. Then, he was teething from 3months to 8months and those months were difficult because he was always up. However, he did not get any teeth from 8months to 12months and it was awesome because he slept really well. Then, he started teething again around a year until now that he is 16-months and he has slept awesome - I think we just waited it out. Unfortunately, I think the Pediatricians give the worst advice when it comes to sleeping. It shouldn't be based on weight, or giving them water instead of milk, or letting them cry it out. All of those are just awful, I generally back up what a pediatrican says 100%, however the sleeping issue is exempt. I think it based on the individual child and even though it is awful on us parents (with no sleep that is) we need to wait until the kids are ready and they will let you know. My son sleeps uninterrupted at least 12 hours a night and during the day takes 1 nap any from 3 to 4 hours. We do keep a set routine which I think contributed to him knowing he needed to sleep. We have him brush his teeth, take a bath, rub lotion all over him, put him in his crib with a bottle (and let him stand, sit or lay down - whatever he chooses) read him a story (and point out all the common items, e.g. chair, bed, bear - if you coulnd't tell it is usually goldilocks we read him). We turn out the lights and play Bach or Bethoveen really low (all night on repeat) w/a cool mist humidifier and I lay him down, let him continue drinking the rest of his bottle and sing to him, count backwards from 20 letting him know that he is going to hand me the bottle and go to sleep. Then, he hands me the bottle and I blow him kissing and tell him what a wonderful baby he is. He lays there smiles at me and goes to sleep, I shut the door. He never cries. He never goes to bed thinking he is being punished, it is just a beautiful thing to go to sleep. Hope this helps, just don't make his bed this horrible place to go, make him feel comfortable in it. It will happen just give it time - when he takes naps during the day try resting too - if you can get your daughter to go down to.

Have you talked to your ped? Is your little one snoring or teething? Have you tried the ferber method or any of the sleep methods? We had a hard time for a little while with our son and our ped recommended that we give him some benadryl at night or tylenol. He was teething and it really helped, he is 13 months old and he sleeps thru the night. I would call your ped again and ask him if he can help. Good luck, it is terrible to be sleep deprived.

I think it's all different with each kid. My first never slept good through the night till after two. My other two pretty much slept through the night after a couple of months (with a few exceptions) All mine are pretty much sleeping through the night now, but when my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night instead of fighting it, letting her cry and wake others up, or trying to rock her back to sleep. Instead I take her to the couch and the two of us fall back asleep together rather quickly. It's better than being awake in the middle of the night with a fussy baby. I also did this with my second child when he was younger. It's a good bonding moment also. You guys can snuggle up together and fall back asleep (and that way your getting sleep too) next time your tired and frustrated in the middle of the night give it a try!

Good luck, all kids are different and do things in their own time. The teething thing is also a big issue. Both my younger kids were sleeping through the night for months and the teething thing always throws that off for a while.

Take Care!!

Try getting a white noise sound machine it blocks out sounds and it has other noises too like heartbeat and rain. Try Hylands teething tablets they help with falling asleep while teething.

Ultimately crying it out is the only way he is going to learn to self soothe, but how you go about it can make all the difference. Start by letting him cry for 5 minutes, and then go in and shush him for a few minutes, let him hold your finger, and for me I lay my hand on my daughter's head which she finds soothing. Just don't pick him up. After a few minutes, walk out of the room again...even if he is still crying. Then let him cry for 10 minutes before going back into the room and doing the same thing. Keep it up as you extent the length of time between going into the room. My daughter did the same thing at that age, but after a few nights of this routine, she was able to establish a better sleeping pattern. She still cries sometimes in the middle of the night, but now she can settle herself back to sleep in a matter of minutes. Another important tip...make sure you have some background noise in the room. White noise or a classical cd are the best. I don't know why...but babies sleep so much better when they aren't in a silent room. I think when its that quiet they can tune into the sounds in other rooms (but that's just my theory!). Even if this doesn't work right away, stick with this schedule. Eventually he will fall into the routine, but if you give in to him he will know exactly what your threshold is and how to get a reaction out of you. Right now he is just testing those good ol' boundaries! :) Good luck to you..I hope you get some sleep soon ;)

Hi, H.. You mentioned you still breastfeed your son 8 times a day on top of three solid meals each day. I don't know if that has anything to do with him not sleeping or not, but you may want to cut back a little on the breastmilk - making sure he's still getting the proper nutrition, of course - and see if that helps any. My 10-month old daughter is the youngest of my three, and in my experience, if babies' tummies are full all the time, they expect it to be that way even at night, and they can't tolerate even the slightest emptiness. My daughter nurses 3-4 times a day and has three solid meals, on top of a few small bites of "grown-up" table food here and there, and she's happy as a clam, sleeping from around 9pm to around 6am, give or take...

Anyway, just a little suggestion. It sounds like your son is a healthy, well-attended little guy. Just keep on keeping on with the bedtime routines and remember - sooner or later, they ALL sleep through the night. All the best to you and your family, H. - I hope this phase goes quickly!

~ R.

H. - My son did not sleep though the night until he was a year old and I think it was my fault. The only difference between us is that I never breastfed. I did however hold him to go to sleep everynight with this bottle. At one I took him off his bottle and started giving him a cup and placing him in his bed to put himself to sleep. which he would do for naps no problem. It took a couple of nights of crying (not more than 10 mins) and he would just give up and after a couple of nights it was no longer a fight. (he never took a pacifier either) He would still wake up in the middle of the night wanting a drink so I learned that if I put a cup of water (with a splash of juice) in his bed so he could find it he would not wake me up for a drink anymore. so I would take the cup in before I would go to bed once he was asleep. (if I put it in there when I first put him to bed it would drink both his nighttime milk and the juice right away. I think the reason he was not sleeping through the night was my fault because I was holding him to go to sleep becuase I worked and that was my time with him but he then wanted me to hold him thoughtout the night to to make sure I was there. Once I stopped he stopped. It has been easy from the 1 year point to the extent that he went into a big boy bed at 18 months(he was crawling out of his crib anyway) without a hitch. Good luck.

I think its very common for a child of that age to do that, my son did, too. He would fall asleep at 7pm and get up at 11pm for about an hour or so.

One thing I did do was after every 15 minutes I'd go in his room, lay him down, give him his cup of water and leave the room again. After a while he knew he wasn't getting up. The first few days were not fun, but it worked out.

Do you give him anything for his teething, like Tylenol?

At 13 months I decided to let my son cry it out. He is a very healthy boy and there was no reason for him to wake up...3-4 times a night!! I was desperate for sleep because I am a childcare provider and need to get some to be able to play all day :) I know you are either for crying it out or not for it. There really isnt a middle on the subject. The first night he cried....4 hours...of course I would go in to make sure he wasnt hurt but I wouldnt stay long and never said a word. The next night 3 hours, next night 2 hours and the last night....OOOHHHHH SO QUIET! and has been pretty much since. There are times he will wake up still but maybe for 2-3 minutes. It was the hardest thing I did...I mean my little guy was crying and I felt so selfish for letting him cry but in the end he is a great sleeper and I am a happier mommy.

Sounds like it is time to start limiting the breast feedings during the day. If he is eating 3 meals there is no reason to be also breast feeding that much. If he is thirsty give him drinks from a cup during the day. Also be sure to put him in bed before he falls asleep. That way he will learn to fall asleep in bed and not just on mom's lap, and when he wakes during the night he will be able to go back to sleep alone. Also if he falls asleep in your arms and wakes in his bed he is confused as to where he is and how he got there. Good luck

I recommend that you read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child".
Sleep should be looked at as a whole. In other words, look at his entire sleep schedule including naps. Sleep bets sleep. If he isn't napping enough and at the right times, he won't sleep through the night. He may also need an earlier bedtime. He needs to be put to bed before he reaches the overtired state. It also doesn't sound like he knows how to soothe himself back to sleep. I swear this book is a life saver. Once you understand a babys sleep rythyms it will make sense. Teaching your baby how to sleep is the best gift you can give him and your family!

Not long ago, I was exactly where you are now. I tried everything!! Have you tried sunlight? I read an article when my son was about 8 months old that said babies that get 20 minutes outside, between the hours of 1pm and 4pm, have better sleep cycles. (I don't think the author lived in PHX, but I was desperate to try anything.) My son would only sleep 90 minutes at a time. When I tried this with him he started to sleep for 3 hours his first go-down. Then it was every 90 minutes until morning. Still that first 3 hours was real improvement.
Now keep in mind, he didn't sleep through the night until he was 11 months old. What finally did it was a vacation, for me. My husband and I went out of town for 3 nights and left the kids with my folks. That totally took him out of his routine. When we came home, he was like a different child. Slept through the night darn near every night since. He only wakes now to get a drink of water, and that is very seldom. He's going to be 2 in August.
Oh, and I agree with the post that pediatricians give horrible advice when it comes to sleep. I love my ped, but could have strangled her every time she told me my son should be sleeping.

My now two year old daughter had the same problem and honestly still isn't the best sleeper. What made the difference was once we weaned her from the breast at 15 months and could give her a bottle at night. We also took her outside and talked to her showing her that the moon was out and explained that we sleep until the sun comes out The key is to have him fall asleep without you there, so that when he wakes up later he can go back to sleep My husband had to start putting her to sleep at night because she would see me if I went in there and want to nurse We did cheat by letting her take a bottle to bed- but it was the only way. We also went through the screaming at night- but I an not a fan of crying it out and wish I hadnt tried this technique- it just doesnt work with attachment parenting. I would let her fuss and will now-- but once it gets to crying- i go in there- especially at nine months old. Since he is only nine months old- not really time to wean.. I don't know how you feel about co sleeping- but have you tried it? When she was that age- that was what she needed- and would sleep great as long as she was next to us.. wasn't out of our bed till she weaned at 15 months.. hope this helps- at least you can know you are not alone!! I don't know what the deal is- my son is totally different- goes to sleep like a champ- I guess all kids really are different- good luck!!!