My 8Mo Old Daughter Is Refusing to Nurse...

Updated on April 19, 2011
A.L. asks from Tacoma, WA
12 answers

My daughter is 8 months old. She's been exclusively BF since she was born. Friday night she nursed just fine, Saturday morning she flat out refused to nurse at all. As soon as I positioned her to nurse she screamed and pushed away from me. She hasn't nursed since and I've been having to pump. Originally I thought it was because she has a cold and her nose is stuffed up and runny, but she takes a bottle just fine. And last time she had a cold she nursed just fine through it.
The only other thing is that I went back to school at the end of March and she's been getting bottled breastmilk 3x a week. But only one feeding in the evening before bed (My class is at night)...so I was thinking she just likes a bottle better? But to have such a drastic overnight change? I'm baffled...(she's my first baby so some things are still unknown to me...)
Any suggestions to reasons why the overnight switched happened? Is it possible that she'll ever switch back again?

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So What Happened?

Well...she never did go back to nursing. I tried and tried and talked with my lactation consultant of different things to do but nothing worked. And pumping was not going well at all. So she was either weening or my milk supply had dropped. Either way she is doing great!! Thank for all the help ladies! At least I got 8 months in, better than nothing!

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A.Z.

answers from Portland on

She could be teething or suffering from and ear infection. Keep offering the breast, it should pass if it's something simple.

If it's something you are eating that is causing a reaction, she may wean or she could have decided the bottle is due to less work, but typically it's not such a drastic change. So I think it's a pain reaction the way you described her behavior. But I would take a good feel in her mouth and see if there is any swelling on the rom teeth coming in.

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

A. - I second what one mom said already about when you are home with her, her only choice should be the breast. Don't worry, she won't starve herself. Nipple confusion is real, and bottles are easier, so you have to keep her doing the hard work of breastfeeding and not give in to bottles when you're available.

A second suggestion is this: babies necks get out of alignment, just like adult's do. Especially at this age as they get more mobile and fall over on their faces a lot. Our family has always been seen by a chiropractor, and 2 of my daughters went through a time when they wouldn't nurse on one side. Each time I took them in to our chiropractor, and sure enough, their little necks were out and it hurt them to turn their head that direction. Doc massaged them back to where they were supposed to be, I took them home, and they each immediately nursed and fell asleep.

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

My oldest DD went through a nursing strike at the same age. She had just started walking and was very distracted. At another point and time, she was having an ear infection and didn't like to lay down.
She never took bottles though, so that may be a contributing factor.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Please don't be upset by this, but my daughter self weened and there was nothing I could do to change her mind. I became engorged and begged her to help me out....Nope.
She was done with boobies.
My son was the opposite. He had to be cold turkey'd at 15 months when I had to have an operation and medications that would make him sick if I dared cave in.
Little kids go through all kinds of transitions and you never know, it could be because of teething or something and she's just taking some time off.
Continue to offer the breast and she may come back around. If she's had a cold, that could have something to do with it.
Don't give up just yet. You will know if there is no chance she's going back. If she prefers breast milk in a bottle, at least she's still getting it.

I wish you the very best.

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

I wish I had an answer, but all I can do is empathize. My daughter was only breastfed even after I went to work part-time, but within a month of my going to work she not only turned away from the breast, but would bite me if I forced the issue. Needless to say, she won, I stopped breastfeeding. She was 10 months old. I hope your daughter starts nursing again for you, but she may just be ready to wean.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I also think it might be a nursing strike and just keep trying. It's already been posted about kellymom.com. Good info there.

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

Is she breathing OK -- any wheezing or anything? My little one got a cold when he was 6 mos that took ahold of his lungs and he was wheezing and wouldn't nurse AT ALL. I didn't notice the wheezing (I had never had a wheezing kid) but when I took him to the pediatrician, his o2 saturation was down and we ended up admitted to the hospital for a few days. Once he had breathing treatments in him, he nursed. And this was a normal COLD virus- not RSV, not influenza. Crazy- right? I hope for your sake it is just teething or something. The pediatrician taught me to recognize the wheezing as a sucking in by the tip of the xiphoid process when the kiddo has his/her shirt off. Otherwise it is hard to notice on little ones like that.

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Do NOT cave in when you are home with her - do not give her a bottle unless you are not home with her. She may be going thru a few things. Nipple confusion - bottles are a constant drip without any work required, it's a lazy thing. Nursing Strike (please google and check it out on www.kellymom.com and www.drjacknewman.com) is another common but very temporary situation. Most babies go thru this at least 3 times within the first year alone.

As long as you keep the bottle for when you are gone and you nurse when you are together - she will get the drift and will act accordingly. Do not make the situation worse by giving her a bottle when she refuses you and do not take it personally. Also, be consistent!! Your infant will not allow herself to starve, trust me!

Please check out those two websites I gave you - they help many many women!

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

The consistancy of breast milk changes when you are 8 months from delivery.
Just do not give her the bottle and in a day or so she will breast feed.

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A.G.

answers from Denver on

Do you think she is teething right now? Both of mine went through this same thing around that age (not wanting to nurse but taking a bottle just fine) and a couple days later they had new teeth! After the teeth popped through, they went right back to nursing. Both of my children were/are exclusively breastfed and also had pumped bottles of milk a couple times a week. It is true that getting milk from a bottle is so much less "work" and if her mouth is sore from teething, she might just prefer less "work" for now...

Try not to stress about it, and just keep offering but don't get frustrated if she refuses. If she senses your anxiety around nursing, she might also get anxious... Use your mommy instincts to know when/if you should give her a bottle (ie: if you feel like she might bet getting dehydrated because she hasn't been drinking anything.) I know that might sound stupid to say, but YOU know your baby better than anyone :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Is she self-weaning?

Are her ears OK? Teething?

A.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

My daughter had a "nursing strike" at that age. She was teething and flat our refused to go near my breasts. I pumped and put it in a sippy for 2 days and then just like that she was back into our routine. I would keep offering her to nurse each time you normally would so she has the option still. Rigt before bed is always a good time to try. I asked a question and got some good responses so if you want to click my profile you should be able to read them.

If she is still refusing after a few days she may have self-weaned and thats okay too. You can take steps to decrease your supply or you can continue to pump and give her a bottle/cup. I like the book "What to Expect the First Year". It has some good info. on nursing strikes, self-weaning, and just breastfeeding in general. This is just another step in your journey together as mother and daughter. Good luck!

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