"My 6 Year Old Son Is Out of Control"

Updated on March 07, 2007
C.W. asks from Grantsville, WV
6 answers

My 6 year old son has been acting out in Kindergarden telling his teacher's he doesn't half to listen to them and just being very defiant, ADHD and ADD run's in our family and I am very concerned he may have it. He is a good kid, he just does not take to rules and discipline like he should. His biological father is rarely in his life and my son has alway's been very intelligent as to what is going on around him, and I know he has alot of anger because of his father but thatnkfully his step-dad does all he can to be very supportive and understanding with him. Please tell me how to handle his outbursts!

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answers from St. Louis on


To be honest, I wouldn't start thinking about ADHD or something labeled alike. I wouldn't take it to a psychologist or any type of counseling YET. I would start at home. Most of the time, children behave and act according to their environment or according to what is happening inside their families, and sometimes we, moms, are able to deal with it, even with lots, lots of efforts and dedication and patience..but we can do it! It is worth to give it a try before taking the easy step to treatments for psychological and behavioral problems (drugs!.
Obviously, he is a smart and sensitive kid and it would be very good if, first of all, you talk to him about his feelings without punishing or criticizing him. You will be able to drag something from it. Let him talk, give him some confidence and make him feel like he is loved and you are able to understand what he has to say to you. After that, try to make some "Mommy and me time" with him and do fun things where he can vent a little bit more (running, jumping, swimming or just racing with mom) Read with him stories with animals about obedience, respect, friendship, kindness something like that and keep talking about his feelings, why he is doing that or this. Make him to take a short nap everyday and do not let him to go to bed past 9 o'clock. Laugh with him and talk to him about being kind with others and not hurt their feelings; that way he will have more friends and will have more fun.Do things to help him to relax, listen music and dance with his little sister. Do everything I suggest, every single day. It is exhausting but I think it is worth it. Just try and if you are upset about things try not to show it, he will see it and will learn from it!.
Of course, I think discipline should be there, if he is having outburst at home or at school, just take some privilege or toy away (TV, favorite food, etc) but let him know directly the reason why you are doing so. Be firm and be credible. I am telling you this because it has happened to me and it worked all I said to you now. Also, make a plan with his teacher, she will very able to help you more and give you some ideas. Work together.

After that........you can go and talk to your pediatrician and then a psychologist...

Good luck and I really hope you find a solution. Let me know please..

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Louisville on

Hey C.,
I wanted to suggest a couple of things. Sometimes for anger, cranialsacral therapy works. There is a woman named Pam Yenawine who is a cranialsacral therapist who works with children.
Another thing to consider is Juice Plus. Juice Plus is a whole food supplement and with your son being 6 years old, if you commit to taking Juice Plus Fruit and Veggie Capsules for a year your son could take Juice Plus Chewables at no cost. Juice Plus is 17 fruits and veggies in capsules, chewables or gummies. It is like adding 4-5 servings of fruits and veggies to your diet a day. I happen to be a Juice Plus distributor if you decide you are interested. In order to participate in the Children's Research Program, one has to go through a distributor. I would be happy to help you get started, but before you make any decisions I highly recommend checking out:
Often times, dietary changes can alter the way I child behaves!
I do wish you luck! And please let me know if I can answer any questions for you.



answers from Lafayette on

Take him to a child psychiatrist and tell them that you're worried that it may be ADD or ADHD. They will give you a form to fill out about his behavior and they will send one to his teacher as well. Words of advice: If he has it, keep him in counseling...the drugs work wonders but they're not a cure and without the counseling to go along with them, they won't do the complete job.



answers from Louisville on

First off you need to take him to counseling and find out what it is from there, if it is because of dad issues then it can be taken care of before he gets older and it becomes worse.



answers from Fort Wayne on

Hi C.,

Firstly, PRAY! This is such a hard situation for a little boy, I'd think!

Secondly, I don't know a whole ton about ADD, but I'm pretty sure that it's a very separate thing than misbehavior or defiance. I think you should not worry about ADD or ADHD, and assume that he's just having a little bit of a hard time right now. You're probably right that confusion over his dad has contributed to these problems. I liked the advice of the lady who said to try to deal with it at home through encouragement, and listening to him and making sure he feels loved and special. I wouldn't let him get away with tantrums or misbehavior, perhaps choosing natural consequences as much as you can, while still affirming him as best you can. I would spend some extra time with him and you alone, and encourage your husband to do the same, so that your son feels very loved. If you still have trouble, I would look at your church (or ask your pediatrician if they can recommend someone) for some counseling for you and for him to help him deal with this stuff, which is so hard on a kid. If you want, you could probably easily find a description of the symptoms of ADD online on WebMD or some other site. If after reading the symptoms you feel like it's a real possibility your son might have this, then maybe I'd have him assessed.

Of course, nothing will work super quickly -so if you decide on counseling or trying to tackle the issue at home, be patient.



answers from Indianapolis on

My son is 6 and out of control as well. At least he seemed to be out of control at teh beginning of the school year. My husband is in the military and has been gone a lot over teh last 4 years so I was sure that was the cause. Because of violent outbursts at school I had no choice but to seek counseling. In doing so I kinds of started to look at my son in a different light. I was so very frustrated with him that all I could see was him being difficult and hard to handle!! We have seen therapists, psychologists, the pediatrician and occupational therapists! Because after answering questions it was discovered that my son has an Autism Spectrum disorder called Asperger's.
I don't suggest that every 6 year old boy with behavior porblems has Asperger's but I had never heard of it before and if I hadn't been forced to seek professional help I would have never known. There are no physical aspects there is little learning delay....he just doesn't think the same way everyone else does! I was so wrapped up in getting him to behave correctly that I wasn't paying attention to what he was trying to tell me in his own way.
I suggest at least mentioning it to the pediatrician. I suggest getting support from your church and family members. Talk with the school and let them know you have concerns as well. Communication is definately the key and no matter what the reason is there is not one easy fix for behavior...it is going to take cooperation of all involved! I hope this helps. good luck! Have a great day!

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