My 5Year Old Needs to Get Out More

S., I have dealt with that with all 3 of my kids, at one time or another - currently with my 5 yo dd in kindergarten. What is helping her, and has helped my others in the past, is to plan play dates with kids from school at our house. This is helping her get to be better friends with them and feel more confident, which will carry over to other things. Also, signing your dd up for activities that you can do with her, or that you can be there to watch, can help her feel more comfortable. I am sure it will pass, it did with my other 2, but my last is the most shy. She says she will only go over to a friend's house from school if she has been there for a birthday party first! Not sure where that came from! She won't go to a friend's house unless she has been there with me first. Talk to her friends' moms and explain the situation. See if you and your dd could go over for a short visit, have coffee and chat while the kids play and your dd gets comfortable with their house and their mom. Then set up a play date with that child at their house (be sure to have them to your house, as well, so you are not just inviting your dd over there). That can help a lot. See if there are mom's that volunteer in the classroom and maybe start with those kids - this way your dd will already know this mom and will be more comfortable. Reassure her that if she is away from you and wants to come home, that you will come get her. Starting school and being away from home, riding the bus, and all of that is a huge step for kids. Some are not ready to add doing other activities away from mom just yet. It is a lot of growing up and responsibility all at once. Good luck.
S.
mom of 3

I just recently enrolled my children ages 3, 5 and 9 in gymnastics at the Little Gym. The staff is wonderful and very intune with each child's individual needs. They offer a trial class before you decide to sign up, the classes are small and the parents can stay and watch through large viewing windows. Maybe if she knows that you are right there and can see you it may help.

is she just really shy? my younger brother was around kids his own ages and with adults he was very open and outgoing. He wouldn't even stay at grandma's or cousin's house... if mom wasn't going to be there he wouldn't stay. No matter what my mom tried he didn't go to friends house or any where by himself until middle school when he came out of his shell. Now he is still very close to mom but he is also very very out going.

Give her the time she needs to get comfortable and don't push her into anything she isn't ready for, it will come. I would just talk to her and make sure someone isn't making her afraid of going somewhere if there isn't anything wrong in that area then just enjoy her company until she is ready to let go a little.

Is she in school full time? My daughter was the exact same way until she was in first grade. Seems being in school full time and away from me for a longer period of time has helped. I think with time, yours will outgrow it as well.

I'm not sure what you mean by scared; I'd try to figure that out first. Is something going on that scares her? I'm assuming by your question that her fears are 5 year old fears and not adult fears (nobody is hurting her, or trying to scare her). Assuming that's the case, my son has huge issues with transitions and new things, and what we've found is that getting him to TRY--promising that he only needs 5 minutes--is enough to get him in the door. He will literally lay down at our house and refuse to go somewhere if it's new; I usually assure him I will stay with him for a while, until he's comfortable (I do, but I also try to encourage that time to be as short as possible--since many other kids his age can handle the transition fine). I try to find things for him to do that include one of his friends. He's very outgoing; he meets new friends relatively easily, but the STARTING is very hard for him. Basically--we try to listen to his fears and alleviate them--he's 4 1/2, but to him his fears are very, very real, and just telling him it's silly just doesn't work.

S.-
I would talk to her and find out if there is someone or something specific she's afraid of. It could be something as simple as not knowing where the bathroom is - may sound odd, but to a child it's a perfectly rational fear. If there is nothing specific you can nail down, then don't push it. She may just be shy and need extra time in her comfort zone - HOME. Give her time to develop and love to help her be secure in who she is.
God Bless!
H. :-)

There was a child in my son's school who was afraid of school stuff too. Then here more started volunteering in the classroom, and helping her feel like it was a fun place to be and the mom helped her make friends. Also talk to the school counselor something may be going on there may be a bully and it may have made her scared of everything.