My 5 Yr Takes Hours to Eat

My 4 year old is the same way. He doesn't care at all about food. He wants to eat things in 2-3 bites all day long. What I've done is set a schedule for dinner time that's at 6 pm sharp. We all eat at the table together, and he's not allowed to get up until he's done. His reward when he's all finished is cartoons (so he usually focuses on eating so he can go watch tv). It's bribery, but it's working! Also, just in the last couple weeks, I've started enforcing the policy of "you will not eat again" after supper. It took a few days when he cried before bed that he was hungry, but we didn't give in. Now he knows if he doesn't want to be hungry later he has to eat. Good luck.

i'm with everyone here. I had to do this with my 4yo she was really bad about spending 2-3 hrs to eat something simple. it only took a week for her to start eating faster. I would give her some snacks but only one in the morning and one in the afternoon. And usually those were things like cheese sticks or yogart cups. things that fill her up but don't last long in the tummy. she'll start eating better but you have to stick with it and don't give in. it's hard to do but she needs to start eating better. hope it goes well.

Hi T.,
I agree with the other 2 moms and her teacher.
she should be able to finish her plate in a reasonable amount of time. I know it takes us family of 6 about 30 mins to eat. Set the timer and tell her when that goes off your done and nothing else tell the next meal.
Also I would make sure you aren't giving her something to drink before she eats her food she might suck down her drink than eat and then feeling full. hope it works out. W.

I agree... set a timer... and once it goes off, pick up the food and make her wait til the next meal. I know it sounds harsh, but it works. I have a 7 yr old that is alot like that.. she won't eat much, and then an hour or so later... I'm HUNGRY. I don't give in.. I just make her wait. Then usually, she has a good enough appetite that she will eat a fair amount of her food. Not all mind you.. but better than the last meal.

Good Luck!

C.

I personally would not give her anything else to eat after that (including desserts). If she won't eat her dinner, then she obviously doesn't need anything else to eat. Try letting her go to bed hungry a few nights.

Does she have large tonsils? Sounds just like my now 8 YO before she had hers removed - now she eats everything and in a timely fashion. I never dreamed it would make such a difference - we just did it to keep her from being sick with ear infections and strep so often. Mealtime is a pleasure now ... bonus!

If it's not a physical problem with eating, then don't stress her out with a timer in front of her. YOU watch the clock, give her a reasonable amount of time to eat (I'd say 30 minutes), present her with the food and stick to it by not giving in later when she wants to eat but didn't eat when she had the chance. It's hard not to make it an issue, but being matter-of-fact about it is better than fighting, and if she really doesn't have a physical problem keeping her from eating comfortably, then she will adapt to consistent rules. Parent's responsibility is to provide nutritious foods; child's responsibility is to eat what they need - sometimes it's a difficult lesson for both. I can tell you from experience that making mealtimes stressful will not solve anything, though!

Hi T., please take your daughter to the doctor first. She might have some kind of stomach problem. She needs to eat to stay healthy, not be punished. Good luck. Be patient.

I have a daughter who is the same age and does the exact same thing. What we have ended up doing is giving her 30 minutes to eat, and then if she doens't eat, then she doens't get anything but water until the next meal(and then only limited amounts so she doesn't fill up her tummy). We had to do this for about a week and a half, then she figured out that if she ate, then she wasn't hungry and her tummy felt better. She has been MUCH better! But evey once in awhile we have to do the same routine... but she eventually learns again. It's frustrating, but it's not going to hurt her. Just give her a multivitamin if she doens't eat so that her body is getting some nutrients.

Try not to let this upset you and you cannot punish her for this as is sending her to bed or threatening loss of priviledges.

I would do as the others suggest and limit her to water after supper until she eats and she gets the same plate for her bedtime snack until it's gone. Plus make sure she's not grazing before or after meals which also means y'all can't graze either.

Also, don't let her gulp down her milk at the meal or before she has eaten. We tell our younger two they have to eat one bite for every year of age before they can have a drink and the cups stay near us until then. We also play "beat the clock" can you eat your 5 bites in 5 minutes? ready set go!!!!

Keep it as light and fun as possible. Too many negative emotions tied to food can lead to bigger problems down the road.

Hi T.,
Frusteration is what I hear from this and that is a motivator. My pediatrician says when she is hungry she will eat. I also thought you might be interested in trying the Pediasure supplements as they fill in the vitamins she may not be getting due to lack of motivation to eat as quickly. I have 2 more ideas may bring this into light, is she wanting just your undivided attention? good or bad it is still their time they are getting, 2nd have you asked her to try to plan the meal that she may enjoy help her set and empty the table as well as the dishes that woiuld be a great way to show her what all it takes to make and complete a meal this may speed her up a bit also at 5 in pre-k or kindergarten she is learning numbers as well as letters and their sounds you might want to ask her to read the directions to youwith your help of course and this will also jump start her educational prosses. I would definitly include her and show her how hard as well as easy it is and then she has mommy and me time i would also invest the well earned money on the pedia sure as it has all the vitaminsshe needs to grow strong and healthy i know its a pretty penny but in your daughters case this may be the one thing that helps her to develop properly

keep us posted
S.

Have you checked with your doctor? Maybe it's not something she's doing on purpose, maybe she's actually having some kind of stomach problem. If they say it's not anything, then all of the suggestions below I think would work.

I agree with the others...also don't give her any sweets after lunch for the rest of the day until after dinner (if you have dessert with dinner)..this includes juice and sweetened drinks. Juice or drink boxes will fill them up and if there is any sugar in it at all, it will take their appetite. We cut them out with our grandson and he started being hungry at dinner time. Another thing is push water with her. We give him the small bottles of bottled water now (he likes having his own bottle to carry around :))and it not only doesn't take his appetite, it aids in digestion of his lunch. Good luck!

What's the big deal? Just let her take her time to eat. Why does she have to hurry?

This sounds like it could be a physical issue -I would have her checked out by a doctor to rule out any physicial problems. She may have stomach problems or acid reflux that cause pain when she eats. Kids with acid reflux may not show obvious signs like vomiting, but may feel pain and, therefore, eat very slowly or very small amounts. I personally feel like too often we rush kids to eat. Both of my kids are slow eaters (my youngest does have reflux), but I think this is much better for their digestive systems than cramming a bunch of food down as quickly as possible. I think, as a society, we all need to slow down a bit and listen to our bodies. I am appalled that kids only get 15 or 20 minutes to eat their lunch at school followed by very littel excercise - no wonder we are dealing with an obesity crisis. Anyway, enough of my rant - get her checked out to be safe and if she is physiclly okay, then ask your doctor for advice to deal with any behavioral issues she is having.

Hi T.,

Please don't withhold food as a punishment or use it as a reward. This is how most eating disorders begin. I know this phase may be frustrating and difficult for you, but it shall soon pass. Just allow her to eat when she is hungry and give her the opportunity to listen to her body. If you're having problems with her taking too long to finish her dinner, try serving her earlier so that she can finish eating on time before she needs to get ready for bed. Like your daughter, I ate very slowly when I was her age too. If it's any comfort to you, slow eaters digest their food much better and tend not to overeat. Your daughter will grow out of this in no time.

My daughter also takes FOREVER to eat. Slow eating isn't too bad of a thing, really. When she gets tired of eating, I let her up, but I save what she had been eating. When she says she's hungry again, she gets the same thing - cold. Also, we all get up and leave the table when we're done eating, leaving her alone (not completely, I'm doing the dishes, etc., within sight of her). It encourages her to eat a little more quickly. She also has to be occasionally reminded that we're at the table to eat. She forgets. I don't know how this would help at school or daycare, but it works at home for us (I'm a SAHM homeschooler)... It takes time, but she does stay on target a little bit more on eating than she used to...

I'm afraid that if you try to force your child to eat faster, you'll end up with an overweight child. When you eat too quickly, you're body doesn't recognize when it's full and you eat too much. Slower eating habits will pay her off well in the weight department...

hi T., i am in the same boat as you. my 6 yr old son doesnt like to eat anything either. we usually make him go without. we tell him that he either eats what we eat or he goes without. usually we have to fight with him to eat what is in front of him but we are hoping that one day he will learn that he doesnt get what he wants and he has to eat what everyone else eats. my son doesnt like meat or veggies so most times we have to force feed him. we tell him if he wants to act like a baby we will treat him like one. maybe you should try to do the same with your daughter. i have also gotten advice on this and was told to make them eat it the next day and there after until its gone. hope it works. good luck and god bless, R.

I was also going to suggest a timer and when she complains that she is still hungry say "I am so sorry that you are still hungry, however, you chose not to eat your dinner, but breakfast is in the morning." Something to that effect.

You've got some good suggestions for dealing with this - IF you're sure it's intentional behavior. Personally I'd want to figure out what was behind it.

Is it physical - is she having trouble swallowing or any respiratory issues? Does she eat snacks and other meals the same way, or is it just dinner? If it's just dinner, is she putting of something that comes AFTER dinner? Or is she taking so long because she's talking and jumping around?

I would definitely not send her to bed for not eating all her food or even fast enough. The first thing you don't want, is to discourage her even more from eating. Dinner could easily become a time of stress rather than enjoyment for her.(Hence the stomach aches and not feeling well) I too was a slow eater. I was always the last to get up from the table. Actually having kids is the only way I got faster(4 kids you inhale cold food or you never eat:)) But I remember everyone sat down together, you ate, you got up when you was done. Being the slowest, I was the last to get up and the last to play, or do anything. So I understood that the quicker I ate the quicker I could play, just that I couldn't eat that fast no matter how I tried. The good thing was my parents knew I was this way(and continue to be at sit down thanksgiving, christmas, easter dinners). So I would say just let her be. It's probably something she can't really control to some extent. Just let her know she can't play or go outside or anything until she finishes and the sooner she finishes the sooner she can play. Plus you wouldn't want her to rush really quickly for health reasons. It's more liable to make her sick rushing to eat, as well as food digests better with the time you take to eat. Also, you get to be fuller, the better digestion makes you be able to quit when you are becoming full. Hope this helps.

Oh my gosh! My three year old son does the exact same thing, I mean exact. He uses the same excuses and everything. What we try to do is tell him that he will grow big and strong like his daddy if he eats all his food. And his brother, 2, eats much faster and we always praise him and tell him he is being a good boy or a big boy and that encourages the older one to eat faster.

My 3 yr old does the same thing. If she's not done by the time everyone else is to bad. She has more then enough time to eat( I feed the baby then I eat) You might feel like your being so mean at first but just keep it up. My daughter has gotten much better. Good Luck!