My 4Yo Bites Her Nails

Updated on May 12, 2008
L.B. asks from Plano, TX
18 answers

Hi! What can I do to discourage my 4yo from biting her fingernails. If possible, I'd really like to break her of this habit while she is still young. I know there are products out there to paint on fingernails and the taste is something awful, but how safe are those? My daughter loves to go with "Nana" to the salon and get her nails painted, but before the weekend is out all the polish is aleady gone.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was just like that too. She is now 11 and is growing out of it. It is just a phase and she will grow out of it.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I had to respond because my 9 year old has been an on-again, off-again nail biter (including her toes - yuck!). She likes getting her nails done, so the first thing I did was tell her no mani/pedi until she stopped nail biting, and the measure of success was seeing actual nail growth (a good 30+ days). The second thing that worked was a chart, with stickers rewarded for days she didn't bite. It gave her a visible measure of her progress (aside from the fact that her nails were growing!). Essentially, I found that small rewards worked better than taking away priveleges, and ultimately she mentally had to be committed to it. In the meantime, there really is no harm (unless she's one of those who bites until she bleeds) other than it being a bad habit.

Good luck!

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D.N.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.,

We had the same problem with our 5 y/o and she started at about 4. It was so bad that her cuticles were bloody and she got an infection in one of her fingers that required antibiotics. Anyway, I thinks she's broken the habit. Here's how. . .my husband uses S factor sculpting lotion that comes in a shiny silver ball. She always wanted to play with this "treasure". When it was emptied, I washed it out, put her name on it, and called it her "magic ball". There are some rough edges that she could pick at as she held her ball. She held the ball all the time--she even took it to pre-K. She put the ball beside her bed at night and received a surprise--usually a small piece of candy--when she didn't pick or bite at her fingers. It took about a month before she didn't need her ball anymore. We also talked about the importance of her taking care of herself, we moisturized her fingers twice a day, and if she had a spot that was a problem area, I covered it with a bandaid. I also rewarded her by painting her nails and giving her a "manicure". Hope this helps!

Good luck,

D.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

My son suddenly started to bite his nails at age 4. The only thing I found to work was to use J&J waterproof tape to tape around his fingertips. Instead of having to tell him, "stop biting your nails," I just told him, "if you take the tape off, you'll get a swat." I followed through, unless I sicerely thought the tape fell off...he was suppose to tell me immediately if the tape did fall off. It took about 2 months. Just stock up on the white platic ring shaped containers of J&J, and prepare your mind to take the time to use it everyday and night.
Hope this helps,
K.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

Try polishing her nails mid week, and brag about how pretty they are. I know biting is a habit they sometimes don't realize they are doing, but if you notice a particualr time she bites them, see if you can find some fun activity or story or something to distract her, & maybe break the habit.

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C.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

Well, I would tell her that she can go to get her nails done if she keeps biting her nails. I have to remind my son all the time to stop biting his nails. I've heard that using a clove of garlic might do the trick and I know that there is a sour spray for cats(I know it has to be safe for people I tried it) that might help.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

You may also want to just keep her nails very short...it may help.

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have no major twitches from the stuff that taste bad.
If you dont stat now she might not be able to stop even with the nasty stuff... It took alot for me to stop when I was a teen.
Good luck!

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

There was a product many years ago called, "StopZit". My son used to suck both of his thumbs. I painted it on and ultimately he stopped sucking his thumbs. It was quite safe and no harm came to him from my using the product. He is now a grown man but he remembers when I painted his thumbs.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

The only way I finally found to break myself of biting my nails permanently is to keep myself from biting them for a few weeks and let them grow a little (I suggest you do try the icky tasting stuff, and all the other suggestions if she bites them anyway like I did, until they grow). Then I have to keep them cut short, and trim them immediately if I snag them on something. Otherwise I'm tempted to bite them to smooth them out, and it's an endless cycle. I've been trying to stop biting them half my life. I haven't bit them in 10 months (yay!). I wish my parents had tried a little harder to break the habit when I was little...they just scolded me, and both my sisters are still nail-biters.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.
I am not sure why your daughter is biting her nails... if it is stress I'm not sure how much a 4yo can be "destressed"... Often that requires a more mature mental capability than they are physically ready for. I know that I bit my nails as a child and could never stop (still can't... I get acrylic instead) and it is purely an oral fixation thing. I also grind my teeth, chew on pens and pencils, and snack a lot. It might have been stress for me as a child, I don't know, But I do know that no matter how much my parents would have tried to "unstress" me it wouldn't have worked because I am just a naturally wired type of person. So I would suggest giving your child something else to do to replace the nailbiting and also avoid the situations where she does it the most. For example if she bites mostly while watching tv then make her wear gloves during tv time or else give her a little finger game to do during tv time. I think it's a learned activity. Good Luck!

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

I like the idea of the rewards that one mom mentioned. I was a nail biter for most of my childhood, and then replaced it with biting the skin around my nails. (Seems gross, and really it is, but I'm not the only one!) So I replaced nail biting with another nervous habit. You should see me watching a scary movie! I'm not sure what it could be, but I wonder if you could help her find another nervous habit to replace this one that would be more sanitary and easier on her teeth. It would be great if she could learn to "zen" out and just be still, but who among us can really do that all the time? Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I was a nail biter, and we struggled with nail biting with both our daughters, now 15 and 13. The oldest sucked her thumb, as well. Finally, at my wits end, I tried one of those over the counter products that "taste bad". The label even stated it would not burn, just be bitter. Without thinking it through, I applied it to her without testing it myself first. Upon seeing her reaction, I looked at the ingredients to see Cayenne pepper as a main ingredient. That experience led me to leave it alone and let them outgrow it. I think it's like a lot of habits we have, and truly no one can make you quit until you're ready.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

L.,
I agree that the nail biting is a stress issue. Rather than try to "stop" the symptom of her stress (ie. nailbiting), it may help to shift your mentality to helping her relieve and release whatever it is that is stressing her. Giving her tools to manage her own stress is even better. Stress that is not properly managed does not go away unless it is released. Even if you can "curb" the nailbiting through distasteful products, the stress may re-emerge later on in another, possibly more troubling habit, addiction or behavior pattern, making you wish you had addressed it early on when it was nothing more than a silly nailbiting habit! Best to take a deep breath and face it head on now.

Of course you can try talking to her about things that bother her at school, at home, etc. and taking affirmative steps with her to try to manage those issues in a way that makes her feel empowered, rather than out of control. If she feels she can't control or manage her environment adequately, she may be turning to nail biting to relieve the stress and frustration. There are other natural approaches like yoga and breathing techniques. Kids yoga may help, as well as ANY other type of DAILY physical activity. Physical activity alone releases stress hormones from the body. There is also a therapy called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which is becoming quite popular. I think it can be used with children. Go to www.emofree.com. There is some info on there about its use with kids and for nailbiting.

I don't know how spiritual you are, but my daughter is very comforted by the children's meditations in the books by Maureen Garth. There are other books in this genre as well. Learning to turn to angels in a stressful experience can be empowering - if that is your belief structure.

Healing is often not as far from reach as you might think, and it is SOOO worth it in the end! You will have a closer relationship with her by helping support her through it. Best of luck to you!

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D.T.

answers from Dallas on

I used the NO BIte polish on my 5 year old. It only took one application. It tastes terrible and even smells bad if you get it near your face. She started to bite on the first day and I never had to reapply it. It is safe- I went and talked to the pharmacist before buying it.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

nail bitting is about stress. Tell Nana to stop pushing her and hug her more often and longer. 4 year olds are sensitive to nail poilish and it probably burns and she does not cry because she is trying to please nana. K.

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M.G.

answers from Wichita Falls on

I had the same problem with my daughter when she was about 4 years old. She would bite them to the quick and it would sometimes even bleed. I used a product (NO BITE IT) that you paint on the nails and tastes terrible. (Those products are perfectly safe....such a small amount is ingested there is no need to worry.) I painted her nails w/ that during the week and if she didn't bite her nails, her reward was a manicure by mommy (including stickers w/ jewels!) so her nails would be beautiful for Sunday School. After about 6 weeks, we still had our weekend manicures, but no longer needed the bad tasting "polish"!

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