My 4 Year Old Daughter Custody

Welcome to Mamapedia, M.!

You have a very complex situation here. If I understand you correctly, you have interference from both your own side of the family (your aunt) and your ex (your daughter's father). I'm not sure what you are saying about your cousin (your aunt's son and his wife?) - are they just reporting the rumor to you, or are they also threatening? Regardless, your own aunt is supposedly teaming up with your ex to take your daughter?

It's hard to know if these are real threats, or if they are doing this to mess with your head for some reason, perhaps to get some concessions from you, or perhaps because they are claiming you are unfit. However, even if you were unfit (which I'm of course not saying you are), your aunt would have to prove it in court, and your ex would have a lot of trouble coming forward into the spotlight if he's not here legally.

I'm not a lawyer, but it seems you have two problems: 1) a threat - real or vague - of kidnapping, and 2) custody in the event of your death or incapacitation. I don't know what your daughter's father's rights are in terms of visitation and custody. There are separate laws that relate to taking children out of this country.

Your aunt would not have your child's birth certificate or or passport, nor would she have any letter from you giving permission to take your child out of the US. (My mother took my son to Bermuda for a week, and I had to sign a notarized letter and provide his birth certificate.) Are yo sure that your ex would be stupid enough to present himself to border officials, given that he has no documentation, and also try to take a child out with no documentation?

As for custody in the event of your death, you can designate in your will whom you want to take your child. You might have a second person in mind in case your mother isn't able, but that's up to you and a discussion with a qualified family attorney. I don't know if your ex would have any rights if he has no documentation. Is his name on your daughter's birth certificate? If not, he'd have to file for custody, and that would be unlikely I would think - would he really put himself in front of a judge or magistrate if he has no legal status here?

I'd start with a family law attorney, with the understanding that he/she might have to consult with an immigration attorney or one at least familiar with immigration law. If you are close with your mother, and it sounds like you are, it might make sense for you both to visit an attorney together - one to talk/ask questions, and one to be a second set of ears as well as someone who can take notes. Anyone who has a child needs to have a valid will anyway, so that lawyer can help you do that with a "boilerplate" document where you sort of "fill in the blanks", including "custody of the minor child", and then add in any additional provisions that may be necessary. I know it's an expense, but you need this.

Seems like you have 2 issues. Threats to kidnap while you're alive and your fear that her father will take her out of the country if you die. Are there 2 issues or are the threats to kidnap her made in relation to your death?

Unless there is a court order giving you full custody, her father has as much a legal right to have custody as you do even if you're alive. If he left with her, this would not be called a kidnapping.

As Dianne B said, there are also immigration laws involved. I think that he abd/or his family could not legally take her out of the country because they don't have the necessary documents. If Mexico is their initial destination, I suppose they could go over the border without going through Immigration check points. I don't know if he could get to Honduras through Mexico.

I suggest you need to talk with a family law and/or immigration lawyer. I suggest that you go through court to get sole legal custody. I suspect he wouldn't be able to go to or respond to prevent you from getting sole custody because of the likelihood he would be arrested and sent back to Hondures. I don't know how the court would respond in this situation.

Whether or not he's on the birth certificate will make a difference....maybe. If he is not on the BC, then do a Will and make provisions for her to go to whomever you want. But, if he really wants her, he can file a paternity action, be declared her legal father and then he would be first option for placement upon your death. If he is already on the BC, then there isn't much you can do....she will go to her father unless he is proven unfit. Being in the country illegally does not make him unfit, however, he can be deported....she cannot.

If one parent dies and the other is alive, they get custody unless a court has declared them an unfit parent. You don't get to pick who gets her unless you and her father are both dead. And then you need a will to specify.

They can and probably will try.

Go to an attorney and set up a will where custody of her will go to your mom.

But please know that a father has rights that you can't simply say "Hey, the father of my child can't have her...". He is her father as much as you are her mother. Not just your child...you have to accept that.

If he died with you then the will would come into effect.

NO LEGAL system will give any child to a relative when the child's father or mother are living.

You can't just determine your child can't be raised by it's father.

Whether he's legal or illegal. He's her father and has legal rights, married or not.

get a legal will and spell it out clearly. but her legal father would have say in whom she goes to if something were to happen to you