My 4-Yo Cusses Too Much!

You can try every discipline in the book, but it won't stop until dad takes responsibility and sets an example.

I too was very much against the soap in their mouths. but when my son started calling his friends and me f-er, i had had enough. what i do is take his toothbrush and rub it across the bar of soap and just get a little taste of it on the toothbrush. then he has to brush his teeth with it, rinse his mouth and it's over. it has cut his cussing down drastically and i recommend it to anyone.

good luck,
M.
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We had a cuss jar in my home when I was little because my parents cursed. With the money that we had in the cuss jar we would do something fun as a family, go to the zoo, etc. What I would do is have your son help you catch daddy cussing. Every time Daddy curses make him pay $1 and then every time your son curses take a dollar away from the family "zoo" fund. Just make sure it is something that your son would enjoy going to do. I would also put up a sign saying this is a "curse free" home and all violators will be fined. Then if the co-workers curse make them pay. It is no different than not allowing people to smoke in your home.

Children will always copy people they are around....how can you blame an innocent child for copying and wanting to be like his dad??? How confusing for your son! It doesn't matter how many times you tell him he can't say that word (or any other word or phrase) he will think it's okay. You have to convince your husband that he raising his children like that...if he wants it to stop, he has to stop....if he really loves his children, he has to stop. There is no way around it.

I say use the soap ! It works ! I have done it to my son & he can't stand it !! But, no more bad language ! Plus i do not tolerate that kind of language !
Try that soap on your son ! I bet you won't hear that language again .........
Keep your son away from people using bad language, children these days like to repeat everything they hear !

I grew up with soap in my mouth...I HATED IT, but it worked. I survived. Mom had a way of scraping the soap across our top teeth when she took the bar out too so it lasted...ugh...it was so nasty!

But, I heard of another way. My friend puts white vinegar on a cotton ball and puts that on her sons tongue. You probably could use any vinegar really.

Just an idea.

Good that you are getting a handle on this right now. You don't want him to go to school and be known as the bad kid because he is cussing. Parent's won't allow their kids to play with him, etc. if he is seen as a bad kid. You are doing the right thing in taking care of this now.

Good luck! :)

I say use the soap. My husband got it when he was a kid and it worked. A 4 year old is old enough to understand that he shouldn't be saying that. If nothing else has worked, then he realizes the power he gets from saying that particular word, and for him it is outweighing the consequences. I say use the soap. It seems mean, but the F word is serious and should have serious consequences. The main problem is that Dad is using it so much, and what boy doesn't want to be like his Daddy? Sometimes a bad word slips out when we're under stress, and that is understandable, but saying them all the time will naturally lead to children with a foul vocabulary. You should work with both father and son and nip this in the bud before he gets to school...

I have to agree with the last poster, no amount of soup or vianger or time outs or anything else is going to make him want to be less liek daddy. HE needs to clean up him mouth if he cares what his son says.

Put soap in Dad's mouth!

I have to agree with everyone else. Your son is never going to stop if your husband continues swearing. My husband has become so much better through the years. It was hard for him because he grew up in a home where it was used frequently.

***A side note on the soap---I have read of stories where a child was allergic to the soap, and their mouth and throat swelled, causing their tragic death. So it's always something to consider :(

My mom used to use soap on us, we survived, but i am like you i wont use it on my kids. But at the same time i believe that you cant punish your kids for doing something they see or hear you do. they are just following the example that is being set for them. Good Luck

Like other posters, my initial reaction is that soap while definitely unpleasant, does not really do any harm. I think that the soap can turn out to be a good psychological tool. In the over 4 years I've been with my 3 stepchildren, I've only ever seen their father actually use it maybe once or twice. But you only have to mention the soap and they straighten up. Additionally, he doesn't even really "wash their mouths out" or use a bar of soap or anything. He uses one tiny drop of liquid hand soap on the the tongue and that's all it took!

I also agree with what other posters have said about needing to work on your husband to help him change his habits. You both also need to be very firm with your son about the fact that adults are allowed to do things that children are not. Even though he wants to be like daddy, this is a good lesson that your son needs to learn now because it will be so true about so many different things (not just language) while he's growing up.

You definitely want to nip this in the bud before he goes to school! Best of luck with this!!

It has to start with your husband. He may not realize he's swearing, but you can help him with that, and maybe you can involve your son in helping your husband stop. Make it a game to catch daddy swearing - maybe fine daddy a quarter every time, and you and your boy can treat yourselves with the $ every weekend till he quits!

Would daddy's co-workers be supportive if asked for their help in the stopping swearing department? Probably not, but might be worth asking them.

OKAY--First just my opinion.

I think Daddy and the co-workers needs soap in their mouth.
How can you expect your son to stop if the people he admires and looks up to the most continue to curse around him.
As parents our job is to protect our children and If that means being G-rated than your husband and his coworkers need to make more of an effort and be more accountable for their actions.
Sure we are all human and things slip out but if you continue to punish him and Daddy continues to use it--How do you explain that?

You can always go with the route of using a cussing jar. Anytime your husband says a cuss word he should put in 25 cents. This way you can teach your son thru punishing your husband! You tell your son it's not okay that he uses that word and it's not okay if daddy uses it. If he hears daddy say it, or you hear it, he has to put the money in. Then figure out a good way to discipline your son if he says it. Use a chart....if he says it the first 3-4 times in a day he gets time out or toys removed from what he can play with....if he says it more times than that....use soap.

Good luck....if you want more info on this please let me know. My Brother and his wife used this with thier kids and all of their language got better!!

Try stopping the bad examples of language around him first! Yikes.
I used to talk like a sailor some 11 years ago, not anymore. It's possible to stop talking like that if you really care about it.
I'm not sure it's possible to teach a child to not do something that as a adult you are not willing to not do yourself outside of beating it out of them. Sounds like daddy needs a good talking to himself.
How about a big jar on the table and every time he says a bad word a dollar goes in it?
C.

Ah I feel your pain! My 3 yo has embraced the word jack*** and it is so annoying! It is a cry for attention and DH and I are trying not to react negatively so as to reinforce his using the word. I have explained to him what the word means and asked him to be respectful of grandparents and other adults who may not be ready for a 3 yo cursing. So far he has managed to contain the language to our household, but I think the most important thing is not to lose sight that the more they know it bothers you, the more they like to do it. Deep breaths, momma...I've got 4 boys and we homeschool. He'll be okay. Maybe you can also let him know that adults sometimes say things that they shouldn't as well.

My oldest is 13 and he survived soap to the mouth. All I have to do is mention the word soap in my house and all sassy mouthing stops. I haven't yet had a problem with kids that cuss. (my husband is a truck driver, so it isn't like they don't hear it and I am no saint either) Generally, my kids scold us. I am proud for that but not sure how I accomplished it :)

Soap has been a good tool in my house. Not liquid soap...that mushy from the back of the bar stuff right on the tongue ewww... may seem mean, but seems better than a paddling to me. I even have a hotel soap in my purse, just for effect. LOL...

Just one time, usualy does the trick. Maybe a follow up reminder depending on how determined your child is.

I know lots of people who have a cuss jar for inappropriate words where you put money in the jar- your child is too young to really have money or feel the hurt of having to pay...maybe a toy basket- if he says a bad word he has to give up a toy to the toy basket every time...Maybe decide to not let him have the toys back until there is a vast improvement in this behavior and then let him have them back as his reward for not having a potty mouth. Dad really needs to step up to the plate because it is quite embarrassing for mom to be out in public and have your child say something like that. I personally would laugh my butt off, but very few other people are like that and while you shouldn't laugh and I am not condoning that- I am just saying I wouldn't think bad about that mom but so many others would.

I realize those words come out before you realize it, but he needs to make an effort to appologize for it afterwards and tell your son Daddy shouldn't have said that... that is naughty- maybe make him give to the toy basket too. (depending on your husband you would have to come up with what is his "toys")

I am a firm believer in the soap method- none of my kids have been scarred by it. You have to do what you are comfortable with. Good luck--