My 3 Year Old Won't Stop Getting into Things

Updated on June 26, 2008
T.V. asks from Lynnwood, WA
16 answers

I need some advice. My 3 yr old gets into everything. I just recently got some cupboard locks for the cupboards and drawers but I haven't been able to install them yet due to her being sick and not wanting me to even put her down. No matter what I try nothing deters her. I have tried time out, sending her to her room, taking away privlidges, all to no avail. She also gets into the fridge and tries to get herself things to drink ending up spilling all over my floor. I am at a loss here....can anyone help?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded. You all gave me some very good advice and made me realize that she isn't trying to do bad things. We are doing alot better with her asking for help when she wants something to drink. Once again, thank you to all of you.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.E.

answers from San Francisco on

I just posted something similar my son is the same way. They do make locks for fridges and stoves. Best of luck

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.R.

answers from Spokane on

Sounds like you have a very independant 3 year old. This can be a good thing. Here are just a few suggestions. Maybe you could allow her a cubboard of her own in the kitchen or dinning room. One that she can store all of her play tea sets and play food in. This will give her a place to be acitve while you are doing your normal mommy things. If she has her own table and chairs you might want them handy also. Is it possible to put juice and milk in a smaller container that she can easily handle? That way she can "pour her own". Or maybe you could fill several sippy cups and place them in the fridge so that she could help her self? Encourage her to be your helper in any way possible. Such as, dishes, sweeping, putting things away, folding clothes - towles work best!, taking her dishes to the sink after she eats. Maybe that will help her find her independants and yet she will be your helper as well. Try to stay on the positive side with her, reward her with praise when you see here doing as you requsted her to do. Best of luck!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi tess, I'm a little late in responding cause i took some time to read some of the advice that was given to you, what was lacking in the advice was discipline. My kids all had their own table and chairs and i put their cups on the bottom shelf on the frige so they could learn independance, but I also taught my kids that if it is not yours don't touch it, by the time my kids were 2 i could take them any where and they would not touch or get into things, I raised my kids around breakables, and didn't have to worry, also i didn't have to worry when i took them to a friends house, cause i knew they would not touch or get into peoples things. It's pretty bad if Grandma and Grandpa can't handle a 3 year old. I'm a daycare provider and i have kids fro 17 months to 6 years and the only one that touches things is the 5 year old, and as his mom requested me to do, i tap him on his hand, the same way i trained mine. if you don't lay down the law, she will be running your home. Iread this wrong it's your 15 year old they can't handle, sweetie if you allowed her to behave the way you allow your 3 year old no wonder they can't handle her. Where are you located? you need help. J.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi T.,
I am a Child Development Specialist and a Behavioral Specialist. It sounds to me that you are not being firm with your daughter and that you need someone to help you with parenting skills especially with a 15 year old coming home who your mother can no longer handle. Your 3 year old has also demanded that you hold her the entire time she was sick. I ask you, who is in control her, you or your children? T., you need to learn some basic parenting skills such as why your children are misbehaving and what you should do when they are misbehaving to get in your daughter's case, attention. I hope that you will seek parenting help from a reputable behavioral specialiast. You know what to do, you just need to be guided.
Good luck,
F.
It's Aparent, Parenting and Behavioral Specialists

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.D.

answers from Sacramento on

I also have a 3 year old and we let him go into the fridge and pick what he wants to drink. If he can carry it, then he brings it to the table, where we then pour it for him. I dont know your particular situation, but I do suggest putting the childproff locks on ASAP, and maybe make a deal with your daughter about letting you know when shes thirsty. Maybe instead of punishing her for being curious, you should let her know messes arent that fun to clean up, and make sure she cleans it ALL up after spilling something. I think it's real important to let our children find themselves, no matter how messy it might get. :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.O.

answers from Las Vegas on

When my daughter (now 6 yrs old) first learned to pull herself up she learned how to use the cabinet locks. The only one I found that she couldnt figure out was the one we had for under the kitchen sink, one of those slide locks. Which is what I have once again for the same cabinet now for my 18 month old son. I didnt even bother with the any other cabinets. I also discovered the miracle of the baby gate with my son. It is a God send & I dont know how I didnt relize this 6 years ago lol. I have a gate between the kitchen & the livingroom so I dont have to chase him in the kitchen every 2 seconds like I did with my daughter. I have always had one bottom cabinet that the children can reach with all there kids cups & plates so they can grab what they want & then ask me to fill there cup or put a snack on a plate.
It is perfectly normal for children at every age to be curious & to explore there surroundings. It is ok to let them explore if there is no danger to the child. I understand where your coming from when you said how your daughter trys to pour her own drinks & makes a mess cause I think my daughter was about 2 or 3 when she learned to open the fridge. Boy was it annoying but its a trial & error situation with children they have to learn there own limits. So if haveing a milk mess on the kitchen floor once or twice a day is what you have to deal with then so be it. She will learn eventually with you telling her each time that mommy can help her alls she has to do is ask. Plus you can also give her a towel each time & have her clean up the mess. It worked for my daughter even to this day if the milk jug is to heavy for her when she gets it out of the fridge she will ask me to come help her & when she does pour it herself & makes a mess she will get a towel & clean it up. But I dont think punishing a child for exploring the kitchen cabinets is the right way to handle the situation cause I feel you are only teaching her that it bad to be curious & explore which in the long run is not what you want her learn. The only cabinet that should be punishable is the ones with the harmful chemicals in it.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Child proof your home. They also sell fridge locks...

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

My son is the same way. I just have to keep everything locked. I have one drawer that has all his cups and plates and forks and spoons and bowls in it, so if he wants juice he gets his cup while I get the juice and he feels like he has helped, same with plates or bowls. He still gets into the fridge to get the juice if I'm not quick enough about it sometimes though. I've been able to put a gate up for the kitchen so that helps alot. She's just trying to grow up and learn to do stuff for herself. Give her little things she can do and try to include her. Good luck. ~V.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.O.

answers from Portland on

That's the nature of a 3 year old. I've got one too. They are curious little creatures, and it's our job to keep them safe by keeping harmful things out of reach. Make time to install those child proof latches, maybe while she's napping. As far as the fridge goes, I think they make a child proof lock/latch for that too. We let our 3 year old get into the fridge, we leave a cup full of juice or milk on a shelf that is within his reach in order to prevent him from trying to pour himself a drink. So far this approach has worked. Good luck! :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi! I have a VERY busy 2 yr old daughter who insists on getting into everything also... I know it can be super frustrating.

It helped me to "give" her one cabinet in my kitchen that I didn't put locks on. I keep tupperware and other unbreakables (paper plates, etc.) in there. That way when she gets into it, she can't make a mess, hurt herself or cause any damage to anything. It makes her feel like she's still able to mess around in the cabinets, but I know that she's really not doing anything wrong. I also make her clean up whatever she takes out so she knows it has to be put away in the right place.

As for the fridge thing...I don't have any experience with that. :( Maybe you could put juice boxes or screw cap drinks in there and tell her that they are just for her. Tell her that when she wants a drink, she's only allowed to get those out and ask you to help her open them. Maybe even let her pick out (obviously with some control over which type of drink) something at the store that would be only for her and let her put them in the fridge. Then she won't be trying to open huge bottles of milk, juice, etc. and hopefully won't get into anything but her drinks. Let me know if this helps!

Take care and remember to breathe! :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

-Hi there...My name is C. I'm 34 and I have five children. I -have a three year old that also keeps my on my toes! Into everything. Im going to put him in preschool. I think he does need his own space and play time. Away from me! Congrats on the new one. I know you will be busy, you have nine months to get the rest ready and on a schedule. Feel free to call me , Im not sure if you are close by , I would be willing to help you out. Or just talk with you. ###-###-#### LakeElsinore,CA

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Seattle on

We actually made a special drawer and a cabinet for our son to play in. We put the tupperware in those, and told him that those were his special places. You've got to pick your battles. As for the fridge, we've had to deal with that, too...but then we started letting him "help" us get things out of the fridge, and now he doesn't try to get in there unless we ask him to. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is 3 years old too. I think getting into things ofcourse can be bothersome and troublesome but it is also natural and a good thing, that she is curious about the world and trying to learn.Maybe you could just restrict her play things to a certain area, or only give her one thing to focus on and play with,while not allowing her to play with the things that make too much of a mess, make sure she helps you clean up. maybe she is bored and needs more stimulation? My daughter also loves getting into the fridge now. there are velcro straps you can put on the fridge that might make it harder to open or even put a lock on it. Hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

Getting into things is a good thing even tho it's frustrating. You do have your hands full.

Keep in mind that everything in the house is new to her. The more curious a child is the more they learn and the smarter they will be. If you discipline the curiosity out of her she willhave more difficulty being curious and learning for the rest of her life. I recommend not punishing her. Instead distract her. Give her something else to play with. Put her in a different room with toys. Those child gates are great.

My daughter put a gate on the door so the kids couldn't even get into the kitchen. And gave them one cupboard for when they were there with her. Installed child locks, too, on cupboards and the frig.

And when she wanted them to stay in the playroom she put in the child gate so that the door was open and she could still supervise but without them under her feet.

Eventually they could climb over it but it served as a reminder to stay out. They did climb over sometimes but it was easier to know that they were in there because of the noise made by climbing.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Seattle on

Your little one sounds much like mine... there is a word for it... "Independent"

She's trying to discover things on her own, so give her an alternative. I've found that in some situations, I've had to give my daughter distractions rather then discipline, though follow-through is important with rules.

I've set up times when she gets to explore new things. She gets play-doh time, Library time, gymnastics, and other things. I let her help me in the kitchen when it's time to make lunch, or when we make cookies but make it very clear that the kitchen is somewhere she should only be when mommy and daddy are there.

I, personally, think that it is important to put locks on places where harmful chemicals or knives might be, but on places where there are spoons, Tupperware, and such, I feel that it is more important that I teach her to listen rather than lock her out so she can't get in when she tries... because I know my little girl, and she will find trouble elsewhere. haha!

S.M.

answers from Yakima on

My little one is now almost 6, but when she was really little we went to Wal-Mart and bought multiple kinds of locks for different things. The brand was Safety 1st. One type of lock that we got alot of had foam sticky pads on each end and a lock that you snap together. We put them on the fridge, stove, dishwasher, and computer desk drawers. The other kind were like double zipties that you put around each cabinet handle and stuck the ends of the ties into the middle, square lock and then zipped them tight. They were SO handy! I hope this helps!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches