My 2yr.old Is Hardly Talking.

My son didn't really start talking till almost 3! So I know the frustration. Girls seem to come out of the womb talking!! Mothers' Day out is an awesome solution. He will get to see other children his age speaking and will jump on the wagon! Read him lots of stories and baby einstein has first words that my son recited, neigborhood animals, world animals. He probably knows how to speak, he just doesn't want too!

My son talked really early. By 18 months he was talking sentences, and then came my daughter. She could say a few words by two, but didn't have to. She grunted, pointed, etc and I would get her what she wanted. She started talking when she was about 2 1/2. Then came my grandbaby. She is 3 and still wasn't talking. She came to visit me and the doctors were already getting concerned and wanted to do hearing tests. I had her for one week. She would point and cry and I finally told her that I didn't know what she wanted, that she had to tell me, so she started talking. She went home talking and her daddy couldn't believe it. He kept saying, "Listen to her". When he is ready, he will talk.

My son did not really start talking until he was a bit over 3. He would say a couple words, point or grunt. It is a boy thing. His female cousin could carry on a conversation at 2. Some were worried, but there was nothing physically wrong with him.
Now he does not stop talking (almost 5).

Hi T.,

Our 2 year old wasn't talking a lot either. In Orange County, NC he was eligible for free speech therapy. So a therapist came out twice each week to work with him. He had a lot of fun but I didn't really see a dramatic increase in language. I read a lot about speech and a lot of what I read was encouraging. Boys can be slower to develop speech and sign language can be helpful until they start forming words. We had been doing sign language since he was 10 months old. So, it was great that he signed most of what he wanted. I always signed while saying the word so that he would get both. He's 31 months now and talks a lot! One day he just started talking to us. He isn't as clear as my daughter was at this age, but I do understand him and most strangers do as well. I know it is scary when your child doesn't seem to be doing what other kids are doing his age. We moms really know how to worry. But unless he was talking and losing the words he knew, then you don't have to be concerned. It was a comfort for me to have a speech therapist coming each week. I felt it kept a professional involved with us. If you have any other questions, please feel free to email me.

Just FYI, you can check out my parenting website at http://www.noblemother.com

My now 21yods only said a handful of words & he was approaching 3. The doctors did not test his hearing at that time and in fact told me that if he weren't talking by age 3 to come see them. Sure enough about a month before his 3rd birthday he put together his first sentence "Daddy home". As you can tell I still remember it because I FREAKED it was so wonderful. After that, he talked a mile a minute. We did need to get him some speech therapy to help him with 's' and 'r' but that was just a few months worth & all was well. Now you can not get him to shut up sometimes.

I would not worry about it too much. I think being in the Mothers day out situation may even help him because he'll see others talking. Don't let the workers make you think something is wrong with him. Some children are just more laid back than others.

Always try & encourage him to talk, see if he wont repeat a word or two for you, like asking for a drink, or a toy. But my son would mostly scream. I do recall at about 2-1/2 he got lost at a mall once & they couldn't get him to tell them his name, very frustrating. But he said mine when he saw me.

So don't lose sleep over it. Boys are slower to develop those types of skills than girls. Boys develop physically faster, running, jumping, climbing, while girls develop emotionally faster, singing, talking, dressing. He'll catch up soon and then you'll wonder if he'll ever stop talking!

First of all, take a deep breath and relax. You'll probably look back on this one day and laugh when you can't get him to stop talking. My 4 1/2 year old son is now extremely verbal and impresses everyone with his "deep thoughts," but at 2, he hadn't even said "momma" yet.

I think the best thing you can do is work with TEIS at this point. We did TIPS through TEIS for 6 months and he gained 9 months of skills during that time. I also think we began the extra training when he was just ready to talk. Sometimes, the idea of talking has to click for them. When it does, you'll have some great tools and support to nurture that new interest.

The important thing is to try to figure out his level of comprehension. He probably understands far greater than he's willing to communicate and that's ok for now. My second son is now 22 months and is also not a big talker. However, he's taking it ALL in! Ironically, he refuses to say "daddy." I'm just going to be patient and seek help if I think it's warranted.

Good luck!

M.

First you need to relax.

Medically have you had him evaluated?

If yes, and nothing is medically wrong, take it one day at a time and DON'T pressure him to talk. Encourage him, either with words or if advised with sign language. Some kids are observers and just don't talk much and then all of the sudden everything they've seen makes sense to them and you can't shut them up, others are always observers and like to watch the interaction of people, but not participate. If he's an observer try talking to him about what he sees and what you see. That may open him up.

I am a speech therapist. Have you had his hearing checked? Does he have any words that he uses consistently (momma, daddy, no, more, etc.). You might try using some simple sign language with him. Studies show that it reduces frustration and actually increases verbal language. There is a great book called Baby Signs that is very good. Most of the signs are either real ASL signs or gestures. Play games with him such as Mr. Potato Head and give him 2 choices. For ex., do you want the blue feet or the orange feet? Try to get him to at least make some sound that resembles the word. If he says buh and points to the blue feet, say "Oh, you want the blue feet. Good job." Hope this helps. Good luck.

T.,

My 6 yo started talking at 9 mo like a normal baby, saying mama, dada, baba for bye bye, etc. Then around 12 months he just quit. He is special needs anyway, so when he quit talking I immediately got him into ST. The speech therapist worked with his acceptance of textures and touch in his facial area, but still couldn't get him to start making sounds again. I had intended to do baby sign with him but found myself overwhelmed by his special needs when he was born so hadn't followed through. Around 14 months we really started on sign language. By age 3- when he just started making sounds and talking again- he had over 100 signs in his vocabulary. We continued in speech therapy until last year, when he graduated out. He still stutters every now and then but his words are very clear and his language structure is way over that of the average 6 yo.

Even though your son isn't talking yet, there is a lot going on inside him cognitively. Learning sign doesn't prevent or delay the development of verbal language skills, learning sign enhances language skills overall. Possibly giving him a way to communicate with you that is non-verbal, through sign, would help him through the frustrating toddler years. It certainly helped us! When my son did start making sounds again, he was right back where he was when he started, with not very many consonants. Everything was da duh di all D's. As his vocabulary expanded, it became very difficult to understand him. But if he knew the sign for what he wanted, it cleared up the frustration pretty quick! He even remembers his younger brothers birth, he was only 2 at the time but I attribute his memory to is ability to verbalize- he signed "mama, hurt, daddy, help, baby" over and over for weeks after the birth.

Signing doesn't have to take up a lot of your time. We bought a paperback ASL dictionary and used "Signing Time" a little. I made a goal of learning one sign a day, it ended up being more like 2 a week that would actually stick with us. There are also free dictionaries on the web. I still use sign with my older kids- wait and no and stop are particularly useful. :o)

While having him around other kids might stimulate him to talk more, it might also push him to withdraw further, if he feels intimidated by their ability to communicate with each other, and doesn't make a friend right away. Is he an introvert or an extrovert? I'd keep a close eye on his emotional reactions to a MDO program at home, and make sure he isn't regressing in any other areas. I would be concerned about problems with other kids and the staff, and him not being able to communicate them to me.

There is nothing wrong with your parenting that he isn't talking yet. Lots of very smart people didn't start talking until later in life. There is still plenty of time for him to develop his sounds and form a vocabulary. He's working on it all the time, just listening to you and those around him. You are doing a great job with him and you do not need to be losing sleep!!

Having TEIS to help with speech therapy is great. I know you are close to aging out- I personally would recommend against ST through the school system, it was a total waste of time and energy for us, and it was not nearly as good as the therapy we received through Le Bonheur. If you have insurance that will cover ST for him, look for a program through UT (not sure if Knoxville has a children's hospital.) I'm sure TEIS will help you with the transition.

Good luck!!

Hi T., my daughter who will be 3 in Sept.has Apraxia of Speech. She was diagnosed with this at the age of 15 months or so. She would say one word and not say it again for a very long time. She also says words like cow but says ow and leaves off the C which I was told was common with apraxia of speech kids. I'm not sure what T.E.I.S. is but my daughter was refered to C.D.S.A. Childrens Developemental Service Agency. She has a play therapist that comes to our house once a week and tries to get her to sign as well as talk. She also goes to a speech therapist once a week. She is talking much better but still not like she should. She has a mild form of Apraxia of speech. I'm not sure if your son has this or not. I just wanted to give you some examples of what my daughter says to see if you can compare it to your son. I hope this helps you. Good luck with everything. He'll get the hang of talking sooner or later. Hang in there. J. A.

My biggest advice to you is to not get on the internet and start searching for answers to your problems! That worry and about what if he has this or what if he has that will absolutely drive you crazy! My youngest son is now 4 and won't shut up!!! I was so worried about him and he didn't speak until he was almost 3. Sometimes I wish that God would give you a glance at what life would be like a few years from now so that you didn't worry about things! Also, he is a boy and boys are just like men and men really don't like to talk either. I really wouldn't worry about it as long as you are in touch with your pediatrician and he/she knows your concerns and says it is okay!

It is good that you are working with somebody already but I have a very fun tip that seems to really work for a lot of families.

I teach Kindermusik and I believe that using music really helps with developing language and listening skills. In fact I've had moms tell me that their speach therapists are recommending it as extra activities to enhance the work they are doing.

My own daughter actually waited until she was almost THREE!! I was so worried--especially because I'd been telling parents not to worry about it so much! Then at 3 she blurted out in complete sentences!

Sometimes there are clues about other developmental things that tug on your heart to worry but if not then your little one is probably really fine and Kindermusik classes might be all you need! They are fun too! :-) Worked for me.

Good luck.

Have you talked w/ your pediatrician about this? Ask about having him tested for hearing/ &/or developmental delays, and don't let the dr. put you off, if there is an issue w/ anything early intervention is crucial.
I have 2 boys that have had to have speech therapy and it has helped tremendously and been irreplaceable in their communication development - if the doctor is uncooperative you can ask for assessment from the Childrens Develpment Center , it is well worth the effort

My oldest used to talk for my youngest..they are 51weeks apart(52weeks in a yr)so when my youngest would want something he would tell my oldest who would tell me..or ask me..but when my oldest started going to playschool he wasnt around for the youngest one to talk to.So what I did was when he wanted something he had to tell me..not point..but talk to me.That is what i would do no matter how long it takes him.Have your son tell you..talk to..if he wants or needs something.Yes it could get really frustrating at times because you know what it is but he wont say the words..just stick with it..good luck..
S. B

Well, I'm going to be the oddball and tell you that you have every right to be worried. I have been through exactly what you described and have also had many sleepless nights. I spent over a year trying to find a doctor who didnt brush me off as "one of those new moms" or give me that standard "boys are slower" spiel. When I finally yelled at the doctor that he was almost 3 yrs old and couldnt say his own name, I finally got his attention. It's a long and frustrating road but there IS a lot of help out there. You mentioned receiving services T.E.I.S...... I'm not familiar with that. We received our services through the local school. He was able to go to school 3 days a weeks for 2.5 hrs a day. he is preparing for 1st grade now and will still continue to receive Speech Therapy for a slight articulation disorder. I don't mean to encourage you to freak out (or blame yourself--I did that too) but I feel like as mothers we know our children best. We have to be proactive when it comes to issues such as this. If you feel something is amiss, then push for an evaluation, hearing tests, etc.....It COULD be something as simple as he's just not that interested in talking yet and he might wake tomorrow and decide to blab away. But I also know how very real your fears are right now. Good luck to you and your family !!

I would try not to worry too much. I have a 3 1/2 yr. old niece and she wouldn't really speak for the longest time. And what she did say sounded like gibberish. We could understand maybe 2 or 3 words. But, one day, she just started talking (clearly) and didn't stop. She is full of questions and her own information. I say enjoy the quiet while you can..haha. Good luck.

We adopted our son at 2-1/2 yrs old and he was only repeating one word phrases. We enrolled him in speech therapy and he has been talking our ears off ever since! Have him evaluated and pray for wisdom and guidance...D.

I went through this with my godson. My brother-in-law, who is a school psychologist, was really worried about whether or not my godson was slow. His mom placed him in the same preschool that my daughter was excelling in hoping it would work for him. He was able to do the work, but still did not talk often. By the time he went to a big school at age 5, he started coming out of his shell. He is intellectually advanced and I think we all just overreacted to his not wanting to talk. By the fact that you state your son can say some words, but CHOOSES not to repeat them, tells me that if you continue with the early intervention program, your son will be just fine. I know it is hard, but try not to overreact or fret so much. He is capable, he just doesn't want to talk (as much) on OUR time line.

Believe me, she WILL start talking and will never stop!!! Enjoy this time.....talking will come when she is ready.

My sister's little boy was like that. I dont think that he talked till he was nearly 4. He also did alot of weird things: he flapped his arms all of the time, walked on his tippy toes everywhere, bounced alot, and grunted. They told him he had a mild case of autism. He eventually grew up alright but he is just weird, even now. He is still quiet and don't really know how to be social and at 16 he gets attention by still hitting and doing childish things. After yrs they also diagnosed him with ADHD.
That is not to say that yours has that problem as my nephew has alot of things strange that he did, not just, not talking.
My sister is an alcoholic and we think that she drank the entire time she was pregnant: she says she did not but she lies so much that we don't know when to beleive her and when not to.
I am glad that you have someone to help him. Just be patient.

Hey T.! So I rarely respond to things but your request really caught my attention. I would like to start off by saying most likely everything is fine and he will catch up eventually. That being said I know how you feel! My daughter will be 3 next month and only has 4 consistant words. In the beginning people weren't too worried but as time went on people began to agree with me that there was something going on. We have had just about every medical/physical test done and still have not come up with an answer as to why she doesn't talk. She doesn't really even TRY to talk or make much sound. She is getting speech therapy 3 times a week through TEIS but will phase out soon due to age. Through my many sleepless nights I have done extensive research both on the internet and in reading books. I feel I have come up with some answers on my own but the Dr.s will not completely agree yet. The things I have been reading have been scary but also reasuring. It helps to know lots of other people out there have gone through this and that I am not so crazy for worriing about it the way I do. (Speech is a really important aspect and unless you lack it or have a child who does it is hard to get that). Many of the stories I have read have had older children with little or no evidence of ever having a speech problem and that is wonderful to hear about. Even the less succesful ones are reasurring in a way because you know other people have been through it and if worst came to worse there are others out there with lots of advice and understanding. Sorry I couldn't give a more concrete answer but I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this and to keep working with him and do what feels right to you. There are many websites out there too that provide info and support for language delayed children. Good luck!

My son is 20 months and does not talk very much either. We decided to stall the doctor's a bit and see what we could do to encourage him to talk. We've found a few tricks:

Animal sounds -- he loves to do animal sounds and will get into a habit of repeating them with you and sometimes you can sneak some words in too and he will repeat those also.

Sign language -- we picked up a book of sign language for toddlers. It has about 12 signs in it, most of them words we use every day. We've been teaching him the signs and saying the words. He likes to do the signs and has started saying some of the words with the signs now.

These are little things, I know, but they have encouraged him to try and talk more. The doctors want to do hearing tests and we've agreed to do them at age 2 if he's not talking more by then. But he has improved. Good luck.

Hi T.,

I am also a speech therapist and would like to give you some advice. I would say at this point, I am definitely concerned, but not alarmed. The other mothers are right...some children are just late talkers. However, others have a "speech delay" and need extra help to get them talking. It is best to have your child evaluated by a certified speech-language pathologist. I am not familiar with T.E.I.S., but here in Kentucky there is a program called First Steps (I work for this program). It serves children birth through 3 years old and the services (i.e. speech, occupational, and physical therapy as well as developmental intervention, etc.) are provided in your home. My advice is to seek out a program like this or one similar to it to have your son evaluated. Also, if you haven't already done so, have your child's hearing formally tested (not just a screening) by an audiologist to rule out any hearing problems.

If you would like further information about this program or if I can help you in any other way, please feel free to email me back. I would be happy to answer any of your questions. I can even give you several more strategies to use in addition to the ones already given by the other speech therapist that emailed you. Good luck!

Take care,
K.

Hi T. -

Could you explain the abbreviation T.E.I.S? I am wondering if you have had your son's ears checked? Has he had a lot of ear infections? Have you considered having a speech and language pathologist evaluate him? You must know that you are not failing. As mothers we take responsibility for everything. You are doing the correct things by talking with him and exposing him to language with other children and don't forget reading and singing to him. If you would like to talk more, please contact me.

Hi T.!
I wouldn't get too overwelmed about this. My Daughter, who is "almost ten, mom!", wouldn't talk either. She knew words but she just wouldn't talk til after she was three. She did the pointing thing, she did the "eh eh eh" thing (which was the most annoying). She had an older brother and my self who are both very chatty people, I couldn't understand. Give him time, He'll talk! By the time my daughter was 4, I couldn't get her to stop! Now, she's older, and she's a normal "chatty" child, I wouldn't worry about this if I were you. He's only 2 1/2, it'll come in no time!

T.,
I had a brother - third in a line of six kids - who didn't talk until he was almost four years old. When he did, he said a fairly long, complete sentence, and my mother almost fell off the couch. She asked him why he didn't speak before, and he told her he didn't have anything to say. I'm not kidding!
The other thing I wanted to mention is, have you had your son's hearing tested? Seriously, children who are late speakers often don't "engage" in speech because they aren't hearing what we hear. If that's the case, it could be something as simple as earwax, or he could need tubes, etc. But I would start there, and have faith and patience. He's only two-and-a-half.

Don't worry too much yet if he can obviously hear and shows no other developmental problems. My oldest son is nearly three and has just now begin talking much at all. He is probably working on internal things, learning things that you don't even realize yet. He'll get it. >^.^< Just encourage, but don't push. He will do it and it is ok. Boys just do that sometimes. My son's friend who is a bit older than him still doesn't talk, really. He's fine, though. And when they are together he does sometimes talk more. I guess try getting your son around other kids his age. Kids he like and enjoys the company of. If they aren't playing together and having fun, it's not doing any good.

Good luck and don't worry!

My sister's oldest son was like this. He started saying a few words shortly after he turned one and then just stopped. He went to preschool starting at 18 months so he was around other kids that talked, but it didn't matter. He communicated in other ways, but would not try to talk at all. Her friend is a speech pathologist and checked him out and everything was fine. He finally started to talk some after he turned 3 and she took him to a speech therapist at an elementary school to help speed him along. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him, he just didn't care to talk. Now, he is 12 and is perfectly fine. Sometimes it's just up to the child and when they're ready, they'll start doing it.

Ya know, 'sweating it' isn't helping. It will be however it will be. Boys usually talk later than girls. Even if there is a real problem, you'll just have to work with it. Your continual worrying about it isn't helping. (Now, is it?) In fact, it sounds as if this 'issue' is overshadowing all the rest of your (and your child's) life, making you fail to enjoy the good elements of his personality, character, and abilities! Encourage him to do the 'right' things, discipline him for doing 'willfully wrong' things, and let the rest just happen.

'Don't worry. Be happy!' (Remember that song?) Also, 'Don't sweat the small stuff. (And it's ALL 'small stuff'!)