My 2Yr Old Has Stopped Calling Me Mommy

Updated on September 16, 2008
A.O. asks from Willingboro, NJ
4 answers

Over the past couple weeks my son has just stopped calling me mommy. He calls me "baby", like daddy does, or he calls me teacher, like at daycare. He knows I am his mommy and used to call me that all the time. Now, suddenly he just refuses. And when I ask him what my name is he says "Daddy" and smiles, so I know he's doing it on purpose. It's almost as if he thinks mommy is a bad word and will call me anything but that. I feel like he's just being stubborn, but could it be more than that? And what can I do to get him to call me mommy again. It doesn't seem like he's being malicious, but it hurts just the same. I was on the verge of tears this weekend, beacuse I feel like he doesn't respect me or I'm not important to him the way Daddy is. Has anyone been through this or can anyone help? I know I should be grateful that I'm not hearing the word mommy 105 times a day, but when your son refers to you as baby, its almost as bad as your male boss calling you sugarpie or sweetie.
It just ain't right.

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So What Happened?

Well, my son is calling me mommy now. More than I ever wanted to hear. Using a picture of me helped the most. I left my work ID out one day and he kept pointing at it and saying mommy. So I left it out everyday. He was so excited to see the picture of me that he soon lost interest in calling me anything else. He still somtimes calls me daddy, but now that he also calls Daddy, mommy, I don't feel so bad. Our names are now interchangable.
Thanks for all your suggestions. Now if only I could get him to go poop in the potty. But that's a whole other request. :-)

More Answers

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A.C.

answers from New York on

Deb J. has some good ideas...

I realize this upset you but I would try to find a way to laugh this off to yourself or laugh about it with your husband privately so you can internalize it a little easier on the heart--He loves you dearly no matter what name he is calling you. And you know he's testing you b/c that is the age and there are more tests to come.

What do your stepchildren call you? Maybe your toddler just hears you being called something different by them whereas everyone calls your husband "daddy" so he is a little confused? Can your husband refer to you more as "mommy" in front of your toddler for a while and see if this influences him? If you have a small photo album with pictures in it have DADDY go over them with him and insist he uses the term "mommy" at your picture.

My toddler has responded really well to my relationship with my mom and mimics me talking to my mom using the term "Mom" affectionately toward me. So if that is an option then a little extra exposure to you and grandma could help too.

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T.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think you just need to relax and let it pass like every other phase. He is calling you baby because he hears your husband calling you that! And because of that he feels it is ok to do so. So what you need to do the next he does that is just explain that only daddy is allowed to call you that and he is to call you mommy and if he does it again you do not answer him. And then explain to him that you will not answer him if he calls you something other than mommy. But thats it, don't say anything else or make a big deal about it or get upset and raise your voice. Just say it in your normal tone. Trust me he will get the hint when you don't answer him. 2 yr olds understand alot more than we think!! good luck

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D.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello A.. I have 3 adult kids and 3 grandkids ages 10, 7 and 3. It is my experience as a parent and grandparent that that children ages 2-4 approx. go through phases of calling their parents by their name or nick name. I would suggest that first of all you need to try and not get so upset. I think children can sense that. Your son is too young to know how to be malicious. He is copying what he hears. You can try refusing to answer him when he calls you something other than Mommy, but I strongly urge you not to over react. If he comes in and says something like "Baby can I have a cookie?" you can ignore him or say somthing to him like, "There's no one here by that name." and don't give in until he calls you mommy. But try to keep it light. Believe me you have many years ahead of you and this is a very small battle and neither of you should be in tears over it. Hope things work out. Take care, Debbie J.

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M.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think this is probably one of those toddler things that the harder you try to change, the more he will resist you. Can you try to ignore it a little longer (as long as he's calling you something semi-appropriate like 'daddy' and not totally inappropriate 'dumbhead')? I also liked the previous poster's advice about "there's nobody here by this name" if ignoring is not going to work for you.

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