My 21 Month Old Not Talking

Updated on March 28, 2011
M.B. asks from Woodstock, GA
27 answers

Hi moms. I have a 21 month old little girl. She is not saying any words. She can say mama and dada but never refers to us as that. She may say cheese, uh-oh, and i think thats it. She said Dora at 12 months for a weekend and then never again. I try to encourage her to say things before she gets them like: swing, milk, juice, up, down, please and thank you. All i EVER get is the sound, uh-guh. she makes that sound for EVERY word i want her to say. She is very smart, i guess i have nothing to compare. There's no doubt that she can hear. We read books and she points to everything (almost) i ask her to. She follows simple requests. I tried to take her to get a hearing test but she got scared and didn't cooperate so the test is unconclusive. Without a conclusive test she can't have a speech eval. Scottish Rite wants to sedate her for another hearing test. Geeezzzzz. Am i worried too soon? Do i need to have her sedated? My husband thinks we should wait and see....but every month counts for her. I am about to have our 2nd baby in 3 months so i want to address what i can before the baby comes. I am stressed. Anybody else have a similiar situation? Please help! Thx

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So What Happened?

It's has been a while since i posted this question but i still wanted to thank everyone for all their helpful responses!! We just had our eval with babies can't wait last week and she will be seeing someone 1x a week to help improve her vocabulary. She has picked up a few more words on her own in the last few weeks so i think she is just speaking slower than other kids her age. Still i am very thankful we went for the eval and welcome the extra help. Thanks again!

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M.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi M.

My youngest son (who is now 4) had the same problem. He actually did not talk until two months after his second birthday. The doctors had me go for a hearing test and everything was fine. It was just that he was not ready to talk. He was just observing all that time. It is so crazy, one day shortly after his second birthday he got an animal book and started reading us all the animals in the book! He has not stopped talking since :) lol! Just give it time, she will talk when she is ready. Hope this helps!

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L.F.

answers from Atlanta on

It's been mentioned in other posts, but I would also echo the Babies Can't Wait program. While in the end my dtr did not qualify, she was tested and we were given a lot of valuable feedback. She is 9 yrs old now and has no issues regarding speech, diction or hearing. Good luck.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

M.,

I am a speech-language pathologist myself, and I urge you to find an agency or facility that will give you an evaluation. You should not be turned away from a speech eval just because your daughter didn't tolerate a hearing test. Early intervention for speech development is so important. The earlier a speech therapist can get started, the faster gains can be made. The older your daughter gets without being able to talk, the more frustrated she (and you and your hubby) will become. I don't mean to alarm you- for sure, some kids are just late talkers, and that could be the case with her. From what you're describing, however, it seems likely that she could use some help getting started. Speech therapy is fun and very effective for kids at this age. I work with some 2 year-olds, and their parents love coming to speech because they get time each week to really learn how to help their little one. I'm not sure what Scottish Rite is (I don't think we have that agency in my area) but I'm sure there are other avenues for you to pursue. Call your local school district and ask how to get put in touch with early intervention services. Also, call your medical insurance provider and find out if you have coverage for a speech-language evaluation at any local children's hospital. Also, be aware- lots of people, particularly pediatricians, will tell you to wait and see. If your own mother's instinct is telling you that something isn't right- follow it! I can't tell you how many times parents have come to me with kids who were severely delayed in speech and language after their pediatrician had told them for years that it would be fine. You lose nothing by having an evaluation done. Either the eval will say she's fine and you can breathe easy, or you'll get answers to your questions and be able to get going on a solution.

Good luck.
J.

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C.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi M. - You are absolutely right, every month counts!
Definitely investigate your state's ChildFind early intervention program. Every state has one but it can often be called different things.

Evaluation is usually free for kids under 3. Hearing screening is part of the evaluation but I've never heard that state services or starting the evaluation are dependant on it.

About the hearing test, at 2 my son freaked out at the test as well and had to come back for a second go around. He didnt like the tympanic screening which only involves them putting a plug in their ear. He only did so so with the booth screening - he mostly just cried. They never even suggested sedation! The only time I would ever consider that level of intervention is if I suspected a significant hearing problem. I wouldnt sedate my child, especially if I didnt think it was an issue. I hate to say it, but my pediatrician was of no help in this area. She told me to wait until he was 3. If I did, I would have missed out on whole year of speech therapy that he qualified for.

Try this website and click on the link that says "Direction Center". I found it doing a Google search on Child Find Georgia

http://www.glrs.org/

Good luck!

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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

My nephew is a late talker and when we compare him to my son (2 mos younger) it is even more noticeable. But his pediatrician told my sister not to worry. He said that if he didn't have 200 words by 30 mos, then bring him back in. So at 21 mos, I would try not to panic yet. I read this article recently : http://www.babycenter.com/0_warning-signs-of-a-language-c... and sent it to my sister and she said it echoed what her pediatrician told her. She said it made her feel a lot better overal, knowing what to look for and not just guessing and comparing to other kids. If after you read it you are still concerned, I would call your pediatrician and talk to him about it.

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Please don't worry about her being sedated, I too worried when my son needing something done and he was 16 months old. He was fine, it's just hard to let go of the control and allow someone else to be trusted with your child. I know this is how I felt. I have had one child needing speech therapy he needed ear tubes finally got them. I waited too long because of a doctor, wanting to wait and see. Time is ticking you are her advocate, she needs something done and you really need to consider it now. Trust me, she is in the best hands at Scottish Rite, people fly from other countries to get their help you and I are so lucky to be right here and have access to it. You also can use the help of Babies Can't wait and doing some of the foot work to get your child help depending on what she needs can be overwhelming and so very time consuming. I thing you should go forward have faith in those wanting to help her and get the process of help she needs. I have to fight for everything for my son, the approval of the insurance to get stuff done, my hold me up primary doctor then the waiting a month when I had to change doctors since mine wouldn't listen, and then yet another child the new doctors making me see what they think works, in the end it was ears tubes for us. However, even after he couldn't talk so in my situation he needed speech therapy besides once you have your 2nd child it will take time for you to get your family life in a balance while you recover. Please don't worry, get her the test and see what help see needs. My best wishes to you, I know all will work out.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

My daughter was a late talker and didn't say anything you could understand until she was two , then the damn broke and now we can't get her to stop talking.

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R.G.

answers from Atlanta on

I am a pediatric speech therapist. I work with children your daughter's age. It is great to see she is following requests and recognizing pictures in books. At 21 months of age children should be expressing between 20-50 words and imitating familiar words regularly. She should be able to say a variety of consonants (for example, p, b, m, n, t, d, k, g) in addtion to vowels. From your description, it seems her hearing is functional and I would follow-up with your pediatrician regarding a possible alternative for the hearing test. Maybe a referral to a pediatric ENT that will do a different type of test. You should not delay the speech evaluation. Babies Can't Wait in your county should be able to help you with this. Or I can recommend a pediatric therapy clinic in the Woodstock area. Your concerns are valid and you should pursue a speech evaluation and possible intervention for her. Hope this helps.

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

Strictly opinion, but I would give it another month or two if you can. I was told with my first that at 18 months he would just starting talking and talking and got really worried when he did not. It was not til about 21 months that the floodgates opened and he became a VERY verbal child. By his 2nd birthday we stopped counting at 200 words, I think. Every child is different, I know you know.

But you are so wise to be paying close attention and trying to identify any potential problems early. If she's not talking by 2, I would have her evaluated again. I will pray right now for clarity and wisdom for you and your husband!

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K.N.

answers from Atlanta on

i have no experience w/this...my daughter began speaking at 6mths and guess what - it ain't all that!! LOL - she doesn't shut up. But seriously, I think it's too early to be doping your kid up. I think once the dr starts w/medicine they don't stop...so i would say, chill out and take it slow. continue to speak to her as if she can speak...be chatty w/her. talk to her about the new baby...she's only 21mths, I don't think there's cause for alarm yet, but again...i have no experience, just mom to mom advice- GL

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K.L.

answers from Orlando on

i have a 21 month old boy who wont say anything, on a good i might be able to get him to say mama but he will never call me it. he also is what i think quite bright..knowing his colours his animals in his books and even counting along with me up to five, but just wont speak...........im about to get a health visitor out to see him and see what she says but ive also posted out to others moms a lot of them are saying it sounds like he has apraxia but with every reply to my post i get more stressed out, im hoping hes just a lazy boy or maybe im not doing something right, i dont know, but i do know its very frustrating not knowing.......but your not alone and as soon as i know whats going on with my little guy maybe i can share notes and see if that helps you any.

xxx

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C.G.

answers from Atlanta on

A friend of mine has a son that was similar to your daughter at this age. She's in Gwinnett Co. and has had a good experience with Babies Can't Wait. He's speech delayed (only thing "diagnosed"). Babies Can't Wait works with children up to age 3 and then they guide you straight into the school system if your child still needs help.
I don't know if Babies Can't Wait needs a hearing test or not first. If so, I would try again at the same place. Maybe the second time's the charm. And if she won't cooperate, see how long they'll let you just hang out there until she's comfortable. (I don't understand how a sedated child can have an accurate hearing test!)
I think it's very smart of you to address this now, before the baby comes. Can't hurt to have her evaluated by Babies Can't Wait. If they determine everything's fine, then at least you have peace of mind and know you'll just have to be patient. But if she does need help, you can get it started before the baby.
I don't think you're worried to soon.
Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Spartanburg on

My son didn't say anything at 18 months. We had him evaluated and found his expressive language skills (what he could say) were 18 months behind, his receptive language skills (what he understood) were 12 months ahead. We started teaching him sign language so he could communicate his wishes (no more screaming) and worked with him per the therapists suggestions. At 22 months his expressive languge skills were 12 months ahead and his receptive language skills were off the test (above 36 months). Take her for a language test, your ped. can point you in the right direction. Start teaching her some simple signs for things she might ask for, we started with "more".

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R.M.

answers from San Antonio on

my son is 2.5 and he was sedated for a hearing test. its really the best way to get a accurate test. He hears fine but i rather know then to not. He doesnt say much more than Hello, hey, hi, mom, dad, and yessss. He knows where the moon is, he knows what juice is, he knows if he want corn or peas, but he just wont say it. and he get frustrated when we try to make him. I feel that when a child is ready to talk they will. as long as they are saying something. thats enough for now. just keep reading and singing and doing all the things to engage communication and im sure she'll feel comfortable to attempt more words. Im sure talking is just as scary as any unknown thing to someone. just got to get them comfortable to do it. good luck.

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K.S.

answers from New York on

do not sedate your child,cxl the cable for a month and watch the same dvds repeatedly.ur baby can read and baby einstein r the only ones i can think of thatd be good for this.watch them with her and repeat the words they shell want to be like u eventually and learn to read aswell.my daughter has advanced speech and can read over 400 words partly cause of this recomendation i guess good luck please dont be pressured by a docter to do anything you hsve a slight fear about,unless of course child is sick or in danger.

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R.L.

answers from Atlanta on

I have b/g twins who still weren't talking much at 2 1/2. I remember the age clearly because they were both potty trained by then and the rest of my play group said they'd rather their kids be potty trained than do all the talking they were doing.
I didn't even realize they "should" have been talking more and the doctor was never concerned. When their time came, they began talking and are fine. My son did end up with a small speech issue with pronouncing his "r's", but that was quickly taken care of in school.
My kids are very bright fifth graders and no one would have ever known they started talking a little later than most kids.
I know it can be hard when you hear other feedback about how bad things can get if you don't address the issue right away, but I would consider checking in with the doctor and follow what he/she says. More than likely, your daughter is just waiting until she's ready.
R.

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J.D.

answers from Atlanta on

I think we parents should be offered the sedative:) At 2 yrs old, my son said nothing at all. I took him for the hearing test, and he didn't cooperate:) But we knew he could hear and respond well. My husband as well said to "just chill out" as he is soemtimes my voice of reason:)

My son's now almost 3 and talking up a storm. It started only 2 mos ago, but now he's stringing 3-10 words together and a totally different communicative child. My first daughter was singing karaoke at 18 mos, so it was quite stressful to have my little man so far behind.

Your daughter can hear, and understand and cooperate, so maybe give her another 6 mos? Also, what's your family history? I had nieces and aunts that didn't speak until 4 yrs old, and they had no trouble by school-age.

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW BABY! I'm sure things will work out great with both:)

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C.C.

answers from Columbia on

My son was non- verbal at 20 months. He could certainly hear fine, but they will always to do a hearing test to rule that out. We were referred to both Scottish Rite and our state Birth to Three program. The Birth- three program is a federally mandated program available in each state. They are required to perform an assessment within 30 days of your request, and to provide you with a copy of your assessment within another set time period. Through them, my son received speech therapy 2x week, and an early interventionist who worked on his speech, once a week. All at no charge, regardless of income. We supplemented with a private therapist who worked with kids who have apraxia. We also contacted Nancy Kauffman (an excellent resource at kidspeech.com) , and had her review my son's video to see if we were headed in the right direction. There are several good videos on youtube, but if you want to see my son's, search "cathchrismon". He is 4 years old now, and still in speech, but no longer qualifies for state intervention. He is receiving great therapy from Scottish Rite. He was diagnosed with a speech disorder, with apraxic like tendencies. The right kind of early intervention makes the biggest difference. It is defintely not too early!

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J.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi. I think it is too early to worry. My oldest wasn't talking at his 18 month checkup. The doctors said wait until he is 2 and if he is still not talking then we will worry about it. At about 23 months I was thinking we were going to have to do more tests because he still wasn't talking then all of the sudden he started talking using 2 and 3 words at a time. What I have found out about him is that he is somewhat of a perfectionists. When I was trying to teach him his letters he wouldn't say any of them. Then one day we were working on them and he knew every single one. He had never said one of them to me before. A little off the subject but it happened with the pledge of allegiance. He kept wanting me to repeat it to him. I kept asking him to try it but he wouldn't. The first time he said it it was perfect. My other son was a late talker and now is 4 and talks all the time. My youngest is 18 months and says 2 words only. Even as I write this and say don't worry there is a little part of me that worries about my daughter. You can't help but worry but really I do think yours and mine will be fine. Good luck.

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V.G.

answers from Atlanta on

My son was exactly the same way. He understood everything but heonly knew how to say a few words. He rarely used his words and would only say them when prompted. I was also worried and started the process of having him evaluated through the Georgia early intervention program. He turned 2 at the beginning of January and it's like someone flipped the switch. Not only is he communicating with his words but he even uses many 2-3 word phrases. I also have a 5-month-old and I think that actually helped because he repeats what I say to the baby. Try not to make yourself crazy over this. I know it's hard not too but all kids develop at different rates and she certainly isn't at an age yet where you should be overly concerned. Good luck with the birth of the new baby.

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M.J.

answers from Atlanta on

Well, don't feel like you are by yourself. My 3 year old does not talk either. She says mama, maybe dada and ba all the time. We have had her tested both hearing and speech. She just does not seem interested in talking right now. My other two sons were slow in speaking but never this long. She is just starting to babble though. She follows directions well and she can basically tell you though taking you to something what she wants. I would not have her sedated just yet. My daughter was very fidgetty the first time around and then we took her back a second time. She did well that time around. You may want to try Babies Can't Wait to help you as well because they are available until the age of 3. I just had my 4th child so I understand the stress that you are under. Not only is she not talking, she does not want to go the potty by herself. I found that the more I talked to people, we are not the only ones who are dealing with this issue. Most of the time, they have delayed development and it is not that much of a concern. My middle son did not talk until he was 2.5 years old and when he started, he has not stopped!!! So, stay encouraged...

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S.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hi M., ok to get her evaluated (no sedation - just wait a little longer until she's ready to cooperate, let's give her some time, poor little sweetie), it will put your mind at ease. My son also started to talk late, he was almost 2 and 1/2 years, but I now know that it's because of his sensitive nature, he was always very introspective and needed to understand better the world around him before actually speak. Also he was not much around older kids, so when he started to play with them, that helped tremendoulsy in a very short time. I would wait a little longer before getting too worried..she is not even 2...we expect toddlers to grow up so fast nowadays, I think we are exaggerating a bit. So I say ok to keep an eye on the issue, but sometimes few months make all the difference.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

What does her Pediatrician think? sorry, that is the Hospital your child goes to?

Most states, have an Early intervention program, which is "free" through 3 years old. In my state it is the zero-to-three program. Try asking your Pediatrician.
It is a program, for including speech therapy, whereby they do an overall developmental assessment of your child. If your child has speech "delays" or just needs help, then they come to your home.

My son had that from about 19 months old. He was late in talking...but in My son's overall development, per his assessment, he was found to be above par and even advanced in many areas. Just his talking... was later. Though there was not anything "clinically" anything wrong with him. He just needed encouragement and help with forming his words. Things that only a speech therapist can give you tips about and/or debunk anything that a lay-person may or may not know.
For example: at EACH age juncture, developmentally, saying certain words are not yet developed, ability wise. There are "front of the mouth" sounds, and "back of the mouth" sounds, and words that combine throat AND tongue/mouth coordination etc. So naturally, she will NOT be able to say certain words, yet. Keep it all age appropriate.

My son really loved it as did I. He is now the most talkative one in our family.

Sure, each child is different. And they talk when they are ready. And talking "late" has NOTHING to do with intelligence. Einstein... didn't talk until 3 years old.

I don't know why they have to sedate her for a hearing test. MOST Pediatricians can do that... have you asked your Doctor? THEY don't sedate the child for it.... they can observe hearing in other ways.

I would, go through your Pediatricians advice and assessment. My son did NOT have to have a hearing test... at all, to have services. AND, as a Mom I was able to call them (the intervention program) directly, and request an evaluation. I did NOT have to go through the Pediatrician... although I informed them of it, so that they could note it down in my son's chart.

You can also try and teach her sign language.... so that she can convey to you her thoughts. Teach her "functional" words: hungry, milk, sleepy, mad, happy, etc. My son knew sign language and the Speech Therapist also says it is good. It supplements their communication. Then they will grow out of it as they speak more... and can communicate.

All the best,
Susan

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S.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello,
I have been just where you are at. If you want to call me your more then welcome to. I'm in GA and I start work at 10:00am you can call me there. It's to long of a story to type on the computer this early in the morning and I have to get my 6 yr old off to school. Please call my business line at ###-###-#### my name is S. B. I would love to help!!!!!

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H.D.

answers from Muncie on

Hi i have a 19 month old lil girl and she dont talk she babbles and says hi and can do anything i tell her she understand what i am saying to her she just dont talk duka duka b or duka duka d is her fav word she also will get on the phone and talk baby talk now i have heard and read that it could be because a binkie she uses one still its very hard to get rid of it the next child will not get one her dr set me up with this program called 1 st steps a therapist will come and work with her on her speech and teaching her to talk so you could look online to see if there is a 1st steps programe around your area i am also gonna get her the my baby can read to see if that can help i know your frustration its upsetting as a parent to not know why your child is having this problem when you look at other younger babies that are talking anyways hope this helps .

L.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I am by no means an expert but this doesnt sound strange to me at all. My son is 20 months and he says more than that but it on;ly happened very recently that he has said more than 5-10 words. Someone told me something very helpful - she said kids can say the ends of words before the beginning of words. Once I knew this I listened differently and realized he was syaing 4x more than I thought. He has a tendency to out the same consonant on a lot of different words - liek sock and sack (his sleep sack) are gock and gack right now. I don't know why. Perhaps if you listen in a different way you will realize she is saying more. I would do the second test (althogh if she follows directions its probably not hearing) if nothing changes by two but 21 months seems early to get too worried esp since every book says talking can happen at such varied times. Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Atlanta on

Boy, that sounds like what I went through with my son - he will be 3 next month. My concerns were very much like yours and his inconclusive hearing test occurred at his 24 month check-up. Shortly thereafter, I took him to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta for a hearing test (no sedation involved - you go into a soundproof booth with the child and the technician watches/monitors the childs reaction to different sounds that are sent into the booth). Hearing test was fine BUT we were then able to have a speech evaluation done, which indicated some delay. From there, we started speech therapy (would have done that through Childrens Healthcare of ATL too, but insurance coverage was questionable, so we went through Babies Can't Wait instead - great program and therapist comes to our home!). Good Luck - I know your frustration but the end of the tunnel will be light!

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