My 20 Month Old Son Will Not Sit to Eat!

Hi KB,

Is everyone taking care of your son following through with what they want your son to do...I don't necessarily mean that both places have to have the exact same seats for him to sit in, but both caregivers have to follow through with their decision at that particular location. If he knows he can get by with something at one place, he may try harder to get by with it at another.

You should make a choice and follow through with it...always, so as not to confuse him with the idea that maybe he can get by with it later. Be consistent. Consistency is the answer to many questions...sometimes there are many answers to the same problem or situation, as long as you are consistent, so that it doesn't confuse them or make children think they can get by with it once in awhile. If they know what you expect, every time, they will be less likely to butt heads with you because they will already know that it's not going to change anything.

I hope this helps.

C.

Hi KB,
The answer is simple; the follow thru will be the tough part.

You are the mom, the parent, the boss. Period. With older boys, you know all about pushing limits. Choose the high chair or booster and put the other one away. He doesn't make the choice, YOU do. Decide right now that if he wants to eat, he needs to sit nicely. No exceptions. If he cries, take away his plate and remove him from the table. I'm not talking about being mean, I'm talking about being firm. You set the rules and then NEVER allow his crying, tantrums, etc to change your mind. Do that once and you get to start all over again. Be sure your husband and other boys are doing the same with him.

Make sure his hunger gives in before your nerves do!!! :)

Its worth the effort!!!

K.

I was reading about eating behavoirs in toddlers the other day, and saw a good suggestion from a pediatrician. He said that as toddlers are learning to explore everying, it is tough for them to sit still and eat, but that eventually this behavoir will calm down on its own. In the meantime, he suggested making "nibble trays" - ice cube trays filled with a variety of goodies (carrot sticks, ham cubes, cracker bits, etc) and putting the tray on a coffee table. Apparently their need for nutrition is strong, and they will naturally fill up on good stuff over the course of the day. If you feel strongly about 3 solids meals with family, this probably won't work, but if you are looking for a little peace, maybe rolling with it for one or two meals, and only making him sit still once a day would be a nice compromise.

Good luck!

We seem to be going through that same phase right now with our 22 month old daughter. She has several "chairs"; a learning tower that stands by the kitchen counter where she often helps me bake/craft/etc... and has become her favorite place to stand, and as a result, she often has snacks or lunch there. She also has a new little wooden chair that sits in the living room, and we have let her eat in there at the coffee table for dinner with us on occasion as well. We prefer to have her in her high chair with us at the dining room table for dinner, and that is the case much of the time, but if the struggle gets to great, our thoughts are its not worth the fight. I understand that at her age, it is difficult to sit and focus on a meal for more than 10-15 minutes. And I guess I feel it more important that she eats, rather than "where" she eats.

I certainly don't want her to feel there are no rules for eating, as I grew up always sitting down to eat with my family and proper manners were expected. And I have worried about that with this new independence of choice that she is expressing, but I guess I guess I think that she has plenty of time to learn the rules when she is more able to control her impulses, and so for now, we will impose structure where we can, but also pick our battles- which means if it's a bif struggle and she is getting so worked up, its not worth it.

This morning for example, my husband was making breakfast for her before I went to work. She grabbed her yogurt container, and dad said he would put some in a bowl for her but she'd have to get in her chair (high chair) to eat it. She went into the living room, we thought to play for a few minutes. After noticing that she had been very quiet for 5-10 minutes, I peeked around the corner, and here she had pulled her little chair over to the coffee table, cleared off all of her toys,and was sitting there with her legs crossed, waiting so patiently for her yogurt. It just caught my heart, and I said to my husband, "Oh, sweetie, she has been sitting in her chair that whole time waiting so patiently for her breakfast". He said "Does she look cute?" I said yes. He said "Does she look cute enough that she can eat her yogurt in the living room this morning?" I said yes. And he brought her eggs and yogurt and a bib, and there they ate before I left for work. Sometimes I think it just makes her feel like a big girl to pull up her own chair, help to clear off the table, and she needs a little of that independence. She is able to sit down and be polite for big meals, for dinner, (most of the time), and for holidays or when we go out to eat. So, I think if you can give a little freedom in some areas you are more likely to get a little better cooperation on other areas! Sorry that this is so long, and hope this helps some! At least to know you are not alone!

Hello:
I am going through the exact same thing. My son will not sit in his highchair or in a booster seat to eat. Our doctor told us this is a normal phase for toddlers.
I have found that allowing him to carry his bowl around and eat works for us. He has a small couch and chair in the living room that he loves to just sit in and play. He places his bowl of food next to him and plays.
During his meal times the TV is off and we all sit together on the floor sometimes eating our meals. If we try to have him sit at the table it becomes a screaming fit and he doesn't eat anything.
We decided that it was more important that he eats his meals and shares some time with us. We will try again later to sit at the table, but for now we eat on the living room floor together.

I am going through that with my 15 month old. She wants to be just like her brother (who is 4 1/2). I have decided to indulge her and she sits up on her knees to reach the table.
It is not very messy and she knows that if she does not behave, she goes right back in her highchair.
Good luck!

Have him sit in the booster seat. Put just a few bites of food at a time on his plate, so the mess isn't out of control. Tell him that he is not to push his food off the table anymore, or else he will be removed from the table and will have to wait until the next meal to eat. Then follow through with it. He'll get the picture real fast.