My 2 1/2 Year Old Won't Let Us Brush His Teeth...

Updated on October 24, 2009
B.B. asks from Du Bois, PA
16 answers

My 2 1/2 year old won't let us brush his teeth... he will come to us and say "I brush teeth" and wants his toothbrush with his toothpaste on it. When we try to brush his teeth he will fight us and clamp his mouth shut. If we give him the toothbrush he will suck the toothpaste off of it and want more. He used to chew on the brush but doesn't do that anymore. How can I get him to allow us to brush his teeth? We've tried brushing our teeth with him but he only wants our toothbrush when we do that. We've tried pretend crying to see if he'll let us brush his teeth but he won't give in... I don't want him to have poor dental hygiene at such a young age or at all! Please help!!

1 mom found this helpful

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I let my son brush first however he wanted and then I would take over.

What always cracked him up was if I would say funny stuff like "was that a giraffe I saw back there..." Or "I see a green bean hiding riiiight over there"..... He would be so interested in what I would come up with, he would just stand there with his mouth open and let me brush away!

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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

You have some good recommendations here!

We have 2 toothbrushes out at a time (4 or 5 total) and he gets one, and I get one. He does his thing (sucking, biting, play brushing) and I sneak in for quick brushes.

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D.S.

answers from State College on

My son is the same age and its a real chore to brush his teeth as well. I've developed a whole arsenal of tricks, and I have to keep rotating them or else the little smarty pants starts to catch on. Some that have worked for us...

In the halloween spirit, I've been chasing "spooky ghosts" around his mouth with the toothbrush. This also works with monsters, bugs, animals, etc.

I look for "dog poop" in his teeth. He thinks this is HILARIOUS, of course. Boogers crack him up as well.

I let him brush my teeth while I brush his.

I make a HUGE deal about his stinky breath and then we brush all the stinkys out.

I sit on the toilet and he straddles my lap and lays back (so his head is upside down and his mouth falls open). He likes being upside down, and I can brush!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

Hey Becky,
You might wanna tell Little Mr. K. that you want to see who can get his his toofies cleaner. You brush before he can, then he has to make sure you get them clean. It worked for M. Now she brushes her teeth better than B. does. Or if that doesn't work, tell him that he can be the one who brushes, you just guide his hand as he's doing it. Take care :)

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I brush my daughters teeth, and then I let her have the brush for about 1-2 minutes so she can brush. What might work for your son is for you to give him the brush first, without toothpaste, let him do his thing, then put some toothpaste on and have your turn.

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T.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

Is there a special 'reward' you can give him after he brushes his teeth (not candy or food related of course)? My daughter was the same way, than we started a little tradition of turning off the bathroom light and looking outside to see the moon and stars. She loved it!
It was only allowed if she let me brush her teeth. In the summer when it's still light outside we play another I spy type of game. Or maybe you could have him brush his teeth 15 min before bed and tell him that if he lets you brush he can stay up for a few more minutes or watch a show, if not he goes right to bed. Good luck!

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Buy your son a battery operated toothbrush. My son has a routine at night with brushing the teeth. He takes his allergy medicine and then we brush his teeth. I sit him on the side of the sink and run the water. While the water is running I let him play in it while i brush his teeth. He then stoops over and takes a drink out of the faucet when he is done. I always brush my teeth when he is in the bathroom with me and I also floss my teeth in front of him. He likes to play with the floss also. See if there is a special toothpaste he may like for example with elmo on it.
good luck.

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M.V.

answers from Philadelphia on

I give my 2 yr old son his own toothbrush to hold and then I have one for myself. I let him use his and then say it is mommy's turn or sometimes I say he can brush 1 side while I do the other. When I took him to the dentist I complained about the same thing and the dentist told me to have my son sit in front of me(back facing me) and then lay his head down onto my lap. This position seems to help a lot better for some reason. good luck!

M.L.

answers from Erie on

We have this issue with our 3 year old too. i let him come to the store and pick out his own toothbrush and toothpaste. then i tell him that he can brush his own teeth for 5 minutes and then mommy has to finish. but as i brush them, i tell him "now we have to brush the backs...now we brush the fronts..."etc. letting him pick out his own stuff seems to have helped!

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K.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Ah, wannabe independent toddlers want power. Have you taken your son to the dentist yet? If yes, and his check-up is good, no worries until next visit. If no, make an appointment now, see how things are cleaning up and make the dentist the "bad guy" with the rules. He can easily explain to your son that once a week or whatever timeframe is necessary, "mommy or daddy must assist in brushing because... whatever reason.. the truth which is back teeeth/molars are hardest for little kids and adults to get clean, the tooth fairy's rules, the dentist rules, etc. Having a third party, the dentist, tooth fairy, etc. removes the control issue and gives your son his power and responsibility over his body back. The bottom line is as long as his teeth are getting clean, it doesn't matter who's doing the brushing. My daughter has been brushing her teeth since she was able and no cavities or problems to date and she's nine years old. Children can be taught to be responsible for themselves. We, of course, guide, protect and supervise along the way. And, of course, if you are planning more kiddles, you'll be happy for all the little things your son will be responsibly doing on his own. Happy brushing!

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When I started brushing my children's teeth, I would let them have the toothbrush with a dab of toothpaste and let them brush however they wanted. I figured at that age it was more about getting them interested in the concept and practicing holding the toothbrush. After they were done I told them I would need to do a check. They were agreeable to that routine. We knew 2 songs with lyrics about brushing teeth (one was by Raffi the other by Laurie Berkner) so I would sing those as I did my check. It was something my kids enjoyed.

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J.B.

answers from York on

hi becky. my almost 3 year old loves to brush her teeth. let me tell you what we did. at target they sell these kids tooth brushes. they have a thicker bottom and sparkles inside sort of like a snow globe. they also have ones that when you push the bottom on the counter, it lights up and blinks for a minute. so she has to brush for that minute. when she would just suck on it... i showed her how to move her head back and forth on the bristles, rather than moving her hand which she was not "getting." it seems to work. then the deal is, when the lights are done blinking, its mommy's turn and she says "ahhhh" and opens wide and i get to go over and "check" and see how great of a job she did on her teeth. i praise her for what a wonderful job she did and just lightly scrub over all of her teeth in the process of doing that. it works for us. i hope you find something that works for you guys! good luck.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi Becky:

Sit down and talk with your son to see what is causing
him to behave this way.

Good luck. D.

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A.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

I love a lot of the ideas here -- especially having you look for the dirt or food or really silly things in his mouth -- very fun!

What has recently worked for our 2-year-old is to use a washcloth puppet (which is a bear) to hold the toothbrush. Our daugher is just in love with puppets in general, so this works great. She and the washcloth talk and take turns brushing, and the puppet asks her to open wide, make an "eeee" face, or stick out her tongue so it can be brushed. Afterward, our daughter insists that the puppet get wet and wash her face. It's a fun routine! And her own brushing is getting better when she has her turns.

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B.W.

answers from Erie on

You can't "get him to allow you to brush his teeth."

You can encourage him to brush his teeth well. Maybe you can make a game of it, and he brushes, then you do, he does, then you do, on each side, and the front. So you put a wee bit of toothpase on the brush, and he chews it off using the right side of his mouth. THen you say, "MY TURN!" (happily, please, so it's a game) and you brush those teeth without the toothpaste. The brushing is more important than the toothpaste anyway. . . Do the same on the left side, and then on the front. . . By giving him some autonomy, he feels he's growing up, and by making it a game, you are still helping, so he's getting a better job done than if he did it himself, but he's also learning the right way to do it, because while he plays (this is normal), you are actually brushing his teeth.

If that doesn't work, you can always play, "you brush mine, I'll brush yours" and let him help brush your teeth, too.

Dental Hygeine is important, don't get me wrong -- but do keep in mind that these teeth will begin to fall out in 2.5 years . . . so it isn't critical that they be brushed perfectly every time. (dentists will clobber me, I'm sure) What's important is that they learn to take care of their teeth, so when the permanent ones come in, they take good care of them. What you want to do is make it a habit, make it fun, and over time, teach him to do it well .. . he's not going to start out brushing perfectly, but over time, he'll catch on. Encourage him, and praise him when he does well . . .

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S.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I know its rough. I have the same problems. Mt daughter is 3 and 1/2 and we started at 2 and 1/2 and basically I started to do it and I am alittle rough for her liking so I let her do it in front of the makeup mirror she likes looking at herself and then I take over at the end. I get Dora toothapaste or Spongebob.Ask him to stick his toungue out and brush it and then go from there or tell him make funny faces in the mirror!
I also encourage brushing the tongue and haing fun with it!She just recently just started rinsing and spitting and has been to the dentist 3 times.

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