My 16 Month Old Wont Stop Biting!!!

Updated on June 29, 2009
J.B. asks from Syracuse, NY
11 answers

My daughter is 16 months old and she has a cousin that is 2 months younger then her and my mother babysits both of them all day. The biting has gotten out of control everyone always tells me that they will grow out of it and we have tried EVERYTHING to get it to stop....her cousin bites her yes but not nearly as much as mine bites her....i feel bad that my little niece is always covered in bit marks and time outs arent working scolding isnt working....grabbing her face and putting my face in hers is not working....any suggestions would be greatly appreciated cuz im going out of my mind!

i have been just putting her in a time out now since she was 10 months old when the biting began and that has done nothing....and when i saw i grab her face im not grabbing it in a violent way im holding each side of her face and having her look me in the eye so she understands what im saying to her in a firm voice i do not believe in violence when disaplineing children....the time outs arent working i have been doing them for 8 months now and it is just getting worse!!! she is perfect with every other thing except biting

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L.T.

answers from New York on

I may be too late to put my 2 cents in but a book called 'Teeth are not for Biting' really helped us. After each biting episode we would read the book and talk about it and during the day if he did resort to biting we would repeat what they say in the book 'teeth are not for biting, ouch biting hurts.' He repeats the words all of the time even as a way to stop himself from doing it. It has taken a while though. Try to be patient! Hope this helps.
L.

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T.L.

answers from New York on

if she doesnt use a pacifer you might wanna try that, because she's probably at that st age where she is growing teeth.

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N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

Bite them both. Just enough for them to feel that it hurts. Worked with all four of my kids to get them to stop.

Nanc

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

J.,
Likely she is looking to communicate something, and has resorted to biting because she has no words (on her communicating end) for it/them yet.

Try words like stop, help, go, and others.

It would help, I'm sure if you taught her cousin them too.

You might even stop it all together if you just kept them playing with learning new signs. Communication is one of the biggest problems toddlers have.

Now If I could just get my son to stop launching his food...and bottles... :) he thinks that's FUN, which is a whole 'nother ball of wax.

Good luck,
M.

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

J., I applaud what you're doing....yes, I know it's frustrating and they do grow out of it but that's not the answer what you need now and right then when it happens. I say you're doing a good job and she may be a tough one where the punishments may not work. She may be frustrated especially if the other child has the toys she wants or she is tired,m but they do express their feelings through biting....but putting her in time out each time (it worked best when I put them in the crib)(which can wear you out) works in the end because eventually they get the message, I want to play but can't because I'm in here and I bite and I am in the crib and the connections are made from being consistent and that is the key word you'll hear for the rest of motherhood :) Congrats on what you're doing but remember consistent and don't forget to REWARD her and her cousin for doing something good. REWARDS bring out the good behavior and if she only gets attention for being naughty, she may continue to do that....Good Job and God Bless You and your family. Oh, by the way, it's nice that you watch a cousin of hers.... :)

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D.S.

answers from New York on

I own a preschool and at times we do have an occasional biter. It is very difficult to stop so I know how frustrated you are. At 16 months they really do not know how to control their emotions and the inability to communicate is also frustrating for them. What we do because in most cases time out, and using firm voices do not help we shadow the child very closely during free play situations. Who ever is babysitting really needs to keep a close eye when the children are playing. Try to catch the child before they bite. Most times it is when a toy is taken away, and sometimes there really is no reason. If she is only watching two children then I suggest she put them into playpens when she cannot keep a constant eye on them and during free play give them her undivided attention. When she sees them ready to bite that is when she can call attention with a firm no and try to redirect them. If your child has a need to bite try to give her something she can bite on so when she is ready to bite your sitter can hand it to her and show her it is okay to bite on this. Good luck!!

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M.B.

answers from New York on

I have a little boy who is 20 months old and has been doing the same thing. I keep saying he is teething, but there really isn't anything in sight. So I have done a couple of things that has made it a little bit better.

First I have given him a couple of toys that he can bite. His stuffed dog, a chewy teething toy and a couple of other little toys that are big but he can get them into the back of his mouth if he needs to. So if he starts to bite, I grab one of these toys and tell him to bite that instead.

After many tries at timeouts, I've headed in the other direction and deal with it in one of three ways:

1. Put him in my lap to calm down, where he will often start to suck his thumb and eventually want to get down and play again.
2. Told him that I don't want bites, I want kisses - can you give me kisses. This only works if I create a game out of looking for kisses behind his ears, etc.
3. Or I have just pulled my hand out of his mouth and ignored it. I found when I scolded him about it, he would continue doing it, maybe because he was getting attention (I have two other small kids as well so often he is biting them).

Not sure when they are capable of understanding the idea of hurting someone, but hopefully when they can, that will be a new form of explanation that will help them find other ways to vent their frustration.

Hope that helps! Good luck to you (and me!)

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M.L.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,

I am going through the exact same thing with my 17-month old son right now. He is in daycare so he has bit several children and even one of the teachers. I feel terrible. We are still working through the issues but a few things that we are trying include:

1. teaching him words that he can use when he is angry and frustrated instead of biting
2. reading books with him about not biting. I just ordered 2 from Amazon - one is called No Biting and the other is called Teeth are for Smiling.
3. We've noticed that the biting tends to occur when he is tired or overly excited and often a combination of the two. So for the hour before naptime, the teachers are being extra vigilant with him and are trying to engage him in calmer activities so that he isn't tempted to bite.

Maybe some of these ideas will work for you. Good Luck!

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D.M.

answers from New York on

Hi- my son is the same age and does the same thing. You just have to wait it out. Time outs and face grabbing etc. isn't working because they are too young to understand that what they are doing is wrong. Children really do not have any understanding or long term memory for that matter (at this age) to comprehend that biting someone is wrong. What I do is say "Ouch that hurts" or "Please do not bite me, would you like something to bite on" and I give him a teething ring, blanket, anything I can really find at the time.
He does continue to do it the next day or several hours later because he does not have a long term memory to recall that I do not like being bitten. Plus they really are not doing it to be harmful. The attention you give her when she does it could also be the reason why she does it over and over again.
Hope this helps!

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M.K.

answers from Syracuse on

Sounds like my son at 2. It could be some sensory issues. Try www.gapsdiet.com or www.gapsme.com. I don't know what medicines he is on, but I would do my best to get him well and off of those meds. If these are sensory issues, the medicines, especially the ones for kids with all the chemicals and sugars, can worsen the problem that may be causing sensory issues.

In the meantime you can get the ARK grabbers and chewy tubes (google these, you'll find then on-line). Have him chew on these for at least 2 xs a day or whenever he wants. Also, for the pinching, you can start with a deep massage starting with the finger tips, up to the sholders, 2 xs a day for 5 minutes. If you want to find out if it is indeed sensory issues, I would call one of the neurodevelopmenalits on this site. www.ican-do.org. They have been very helpful to us.

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi J.
My twins bit terrible. There was no stopping it. When they left each other's arm black & blue, MD said they were teething on each other, & separate them. When they were tiny they would suck on each other's noses as if it was a pacifer, so I thought teething was possible.
Solution in the reality of living with it: they couldn't be together. I corded off a space, had the play pen set up or whatever for the situation. At least it gave me time to get to them before they latched on.(they were not climbers) I said, "You play" when I put them in their own space. They wanted to be together. I knew it but I just couldn't stand to see the bite marks so I didn't put them together. Instead I would say "Mouth ouchy sissy" pointing to her mouth. After about a week, I did short time together, saying "No, mouth ouchy sissy" and they would cover their own mouth with their hand. It was cute!! It took time, and determination, but they did learn not to do it. I am not sure they would have outgrown it.
I never bit them, although more people than I can count told me it would stop if I did, and even though I was tempted. They were too young to understand.
My thought today is: Every behavior needs to be corrected if it won't be cute a year from now.
I know it is probably fun to see the little ones together, but ....
God bless you and give you wisdom for your situation
K. === SAHM married 38 years --- adult children 37, 33, and the twins are 19 at separate colleges, on dean's lists after homeschooling.

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