This might be long so bear with me. My son is almost 16. he has always had a problem with constipation. monday night he said mom i don't feel well. He went into the bathroom to go and basically pooped the size of a baseball. this of course hurt and he yelled. a few minutes later he said he was going to throw up so now he has it going from both ends. we got him done and into bed but he said "mom it feels like someone kicked me in the balls" i said you probably strained something going to the bathroom. just lay down and lets see if it calms down. he continued to throw up. this was going on about midnight. early the next morning i took him to our local dryer clinic. we saw one of the doctors we have seen a lot of times. he is probably in his mid 70's now. he told us Sam had plugged seman ducts and a urinary track infection. started him on some antibiotics and an anti inflammatory med. fast forward to wed night. he is very private kid. he says to my hubby i need you to look at this is feels really weird. so my hubby looks and comes down and says you need to take him back to the clinic. so the next morning my hubby has a back procedure to go to my older daughter is a nurse and she says i will take him to the doctor. so off they go she goes to the clinic they say hang on we will get you in. the doctor takes the info and says has he had an ultra sound nope. so he says this is a torsion and he needs an ultra sound and probably surgery depending on how bad it is. off we go to the emergency room for an ultra sound and yes it is indeed a torsion. the blood flow has been totally cut off to his testicle. the testicle had to be removed. my son is devastated. asking questions about whether he will continue to grow into a man. will he have children will he find a girlfriend who is ok with it. i don't know how to answer him. the surgeon said if it had been correctly diagnosed on tuesday they might have been able to save the testicle. they did do some surgery to "tie" down the other one so it never happens again. I am so angry that my son was misdiagnosed. that he went thru 3 days of pain needlessly. that he now has a much lower chance of having children. that he emotionally feels like he will never be complete. I guess my question is how do you cope? how do you answer? Who do you scream at when you feel guilty about not getting the proper care for your child. God this has been an awful week.
Thank you ladies. I knew I would get lots of great notes. I have shared them with my son. RB I am lucky with my kids in that we have always talked about everything. Nothing is sacred lol. He and I had a conversation about the fact that he only needs to have one to have children. That pretty much all of his puberty is finished (he is 6 ft tall and grows a full beard within about 4 days lol) and also told him that in the grand scheme of things once he is old enough to be having sex the testicles are really not a part that he will be focusing on and neither will she lol. he was like omg mom really we don't need to talk about this right now lol. he is keeping pretty upbeat . he will be going to school on Tuesday. I am not planning to sue the clinic. but i do think the doctor we saw needs to hold some accountability. because the exact same information was given to the second doctor as the first. it was never even mentioned that an ultra sound should be done. and what if god forbid we had been having a heart attack and he sent me home with antacids. just scary when a doctor is getting older and misses a diagnosis
My friends never used birth control because they were just positive that he wasn't able to produce. Lo and behold--they now have a set of triplets, all fraternal, so that means they were all fertilized separate eggs. He CAN have children, it's just going to be bit more difficult, yet could be more fun for him in the process as well ;-)
My husband's cousin had testicular cancer at 18 and lost one of his testicles. You probably don't want to hear this, but he's had no problems finding girls that don't care. He hasn't had a girlfriend, but I know about 10 sexual partners over the last 5 years, and that's what I know about. He said most girls don't care. They actually feel sorry for him. He was told by his doctor that he should be able to have kids. It's all new, but if these feelings continue, he may want to speak to a counselor.
my son was born with testicular torsion and by the time he was born the testicle had lost blood supply and died. I also had the same concerns as your son. would it effect his fertility? what would girls in high school say? would he go through puberty ok? etc. The doctor assured me that everything would be ok. the remaining testicle takes over all the hormonal actions, grows larger than a normal testicle so it fills out the scrotum, and it only decreases the fertility by about 10%. also, if he is already pretty advanced in puberty and is willing to go through the surgery, they DO make prosthetic testicles that can be implanted into that side of his scrotum to fill it out and give it a "normal" appearance. However, the doctor that i talked to said that most men go on to have normal lives with only one testicle and no prosthetic put in and most of their partners dont even NOTICE that they only have one testicle until the man brings it up since testicular play is not a usual part of foreplay.
Please, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time throughout the entire ordeal. I'm so sorry your son had to endure all of this.
He WILL grow up to be a complete man. He WILL be able to have children. He WILL find a woman who won't care about his having only one testicle. His genitals are not who he is. His person-hood hasn't changed.
He may very well need some counseling for learning how to cope with his new body and his self-esteem. He has nothing to be ashamed of, but boys learn from an early age how important it is to "be a man" and they want to be just like their friends in the locker room. Right now he really needs his mom for pampering and his dad for company. He'll settle a bit once he's feeling better and not in so much pain, I hope, and can get back into normal activities.
And for what it's worth I would be as livid as you are. It couldn't hurt to talk to a lawyer versed in this kind of thing to see if your son is entitled to some sort of compensation and maybe if the hospital will cover plastic surgery to rebuild his missing testicle (obviously it wouldn't be functional) for the purpose of his mental health.
I would be angry, but many men are fine with one testicle. They still have normal sex lives and father children. Lance Armstrong is probably the most famous case. He has had three serious romances/marriages and at least two kids on only one testicle! It's awful he had to go through the pain and humiliation, but his manhood and future fathering prospects should be fine.
My husband had something similar when he was a toddler. They had to remove one of his testicles also. I promise, its not that big a deal! As long as his other testicle remains healthy, he won't have a problem. From what I understand, the lone testicle will even take over for the missing one.
Tell your son that I was the first girlfriend my husband ever told. Previous girlfriends didn't even notice. Oh, and by the way, we have 3 kids so it didn't seem to hurt his fertility either.
I'm sorry you are going through this, and I'm not exactly sure what to say, but I do want to tell you that my brother was in a similiar situation, and he did not have any trouble fathering a child.
omg, i'm so sorry!! how sad for you & your boy! :(
just sharing my condolences mama. i have a little boy so i can always picture it happening to me (us) in the future. sending prayers your way...
He should live a normal adult life as like with kidneys, he was born with pair of functioning testicles. It is hard to come to terms when your baby is not the whole child your were given at birth and harder for him to grasp in the teen years, but just assure him that he will be fine and unless he tells most they will never know.
Doctors, nurses, xray techs, ultrasound techs, and such all follow certain paths with certain lists of complaints and sometime won't see everything in the picture right away. Especially when you said bowel was involved so it sent them on a different train of thought. Not your fault, and not theirs just a search mission. I know when things don't go the way we were planning everyone looks for a fall guy...don't take this as one of those things that you should have known better. It is no ones fault, it is one of those things that has happened and as a parent time to pick up the pieces and help the child move on from it. Find a doctor to go over any questions you may have like a male urologist. Sometimes surgeons who perform emergency surgery don't have the bedside manner and just a good relationship with a scalpal and while you wish they had both you would rather have the one who can cut, but find another to answer your questions and settle your mind.
I know a man who also has one testicle- he and his girlfriend of 7 years are expecting their first baby in July.
I wish your family peace during this time. *Hugs*
I don't know anything about the torsion, but I do have experience with mis-diagnosis. My daughter was born in a small hospital in Dec 2010, and she was really sick right after being born. The small hospital we were at diagnosed her with group B strep, then jaundice, then menigitis. After 5 days, they finally thought it might be her stomach causing problems and shipped her to a specialty Children's hospital. She was also misdiagnosed there for 2 weeks before the real cause of her sickness was found. From all of her misdiagnoses, she now has to have a colostomy bag because it took so long to figure out what was wrong with her. I try not to feel guilty and take it out on myself for the doctors not being able to figure it out sooner. I know the smaller hospital I was at I am mad at because it was like they were pulling stuff out of their A%&*$ just to try to come up with a diagnosis. I know doctors are supposed to "know" all the answers but sometimes they mess up, just like in mine and your cases. Your son will be able to have a gf and kids, it just might take a little longer.
Mama!!!
Wowie!! That is a whole lot!! I am in tears right now for you!!! You have to just stay strong for your son...scream at your hubby(explain you just need to yell before you do this, tell him just to listen and nod his head)have him yell back. Then you guys can talk about how to answer those questions.
Those are huge life changing things. I dont know what the likely hood of still being able to have kids is. I had a girlfriend that was in a horrible jet ski accident. Her womanly organs had been torn up pretty bad from the the water kick back. She was told she would probably never be able to conceive. She now has a wonderful one year old. I know that is not something you can sit and tell your 16 year old son. I just hope it will bring peace to you knowing that things may not be as bad as they seem.
He may need to see a counselor, to help him sort out some of these feelings. It may be something that is just out of your hands so to speak. They are feelings that you are very emotional over, and answering those questions will be very hard. It may be easier for all, if there was an outside party to help you guys sort through all of it.
May god grant you guys some peace through all of this!!
My son had this, and the doctor didnt catch it when he was young, we waited till he was 4, and his testicle still hadn't descended to take him to another doctor, and they said it had died in the abdomen, and needed to be removed before it caused cancer - of course I was majorly pissed at the first doctor for not catching it, even with an ultrasound and invasive surgery he couldn't find it. When I researched him I found out he had a string of complaints for bad decision making. I thought many times about suing, but I never did. He had the tie down surgery, and he knows about the fact he only has one - we have had to educate him on being careful with certain sports, no contact sports, and be careful with girls, as they think it's funny to kick boys in the balls sometimes.
I had an ex boyfriend who had one testicle removed. He had numerous tests done to make sure he was still fertile and the one just kicks up production due to the other one being gone and all his tests were great (and he now has children). He wasn't happy with the one testicle look and so he got a prosthetic testicle placed so it looked "normal". I'm a nurse and let me tell you.... you CAN'T tell the difference, during any sexual activities, etc.
You've gotten some awesome support from other mamas on how your son will be a-ok now and in the future.
A college-friend of my husband's ended up with a torsion one night and he was in excruciating pain immediately--no throwing up, no bowel issues, no stomach anything...just extreme, mind-numbing pain in his crotch. From what my husband says, that's always what he's been told to look for for himself. Doctors have to memorize thousands and thousands of ailments and they pick one that most closely matches the symptoms that are being presented. Since your son presented with stomach/bowel ailments to start, torsion probably didn't enter the doctor's mind. That doesn't get anyone off the hook, but perhaps it will help bring you a little peace knowing that everyone involved is doing the best they can for your son. Sometimes there just isn't a "bad guy" to scream at, no matter how much we want there to be someone.
I'm so glad that your boy is going to be ok and that he still has one good one left. He's no less of a man and I certainly wouldn't care less if my husband had only one testicle. I know it's a scary thing to go through and there is definitely a grieving process for the loss of a piece of him.
You sound like a close family and I absolutely commend all of you for your communication to each other (a teenager talking openly to his parents about something super-private?! Truly awesome!!) and as long as those communication lines continue to be open, you'll all come out stronger.
my cousin was born with just one he has children.
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my cousin was born with just one he has children.
Your son is still a man and yes he will be able to have kids later on. Just tell him not try that out for a while as you don't want to be grandparents too soon. lol. So you have had a hard week, relax he is better now and thank God he got it taken care of. My friend had one of her ovaries removed when she was about that age and has 2 great kids. Counseling, a lot of talking if needed, and hugs. Don't treat him any different as he is still a man and yes it is a tradgedy, but I bet there are tons of men running around solo, so to speak. Hugs to you and your family.
I am going through the same thing. I thought my baby may be constipated when he said his stomach hurt. I went to web md about stomach ache and it said give it a day then go to doc ... big mistake for me because my baby had to have testicle removed. He wasn't in agonizing pain so I didn't realize it was something bad. I've been really depressed about it I can't help it I feel
Like I failed as a mother :'(
Late on this one but perhaps this will cheer a bit: my ex brother in law had a testicle removed due to cancer and he and my sister had a son.
I had one ovary and tube removed and had my second son after that (with my first husband but maybe too much info...I'm getting there...).
My husband of fourteen years has everything he is supposed to and we tried and tried and nobody showed up. Go figure...best wishes to your son. He is a brave and wonderful young man.
