My 15 Month Old Is Still up Every 2 Hours

Updated on December 24, 2010
S.G. asks from Snohomish, WA
9 answers

My 15 month old is still nursing. She wants to nurse still several times a night. We've co-slept most of the time up until about a month ago when she started moving wildly in her sleep like turning sideways or upside down to crawling over me or my husband even scootching onto my head. So I started rocking her to sleep and putting her in her crib, but she would move so much that she smashes around the crib which causes her to wake up in which I generally nurse her fright and put her back down. Then I started making her a bed on the floor so she could move freely in her sleep, that was a little better, I only had to tend to her twice.but after a few nights of that she started waking every 2 hours again and really screaming. I know that I need to help condition her to calm herself but I'm not sure how. I haven't had more than 3 hours staight sleep in months and it's getting old! I would love any positive advice that I can get. I should also add that we're in a communal living situation right now and "crying it out" isn't much of an option.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the feedback, which I am just now reading! So after writing up my question I started doing more reading online. I realized a good place to start would be to put her in her crib before she was fully asleep, I tried it for a nap and I sat next to her calming her while she fought it for an hour, then gave up because it wasn't good for anybody. But then I tried it again for bedtime. I put a pillow in her crib, gave her her popple put on soothing music and rubbed her head as she fell asleep. This was at 8, she slept till 11, got up for a nurse in which I put her back down still awake and did the same thing again, she slept until 5! (this is ground breaking)! Then last night she went down at 8, woke at 2 went right back down until 6:30, That's 10.5 hours with 1 feed!!!! Wahoo!
So I'm going to keep up this method, she just took a 2.5 hour nap too! There is light, or rather sleep at the end of this tunnel:)

More Answers

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

This is a phase... you can allow her to sleep in the crook of your arm which will help with the scootching and crawling around. This is also the time of night terrors. Best thing to do is not speak, just hold and soothe (rubbing back, allowing to nurse, stroke head). It'll get better and pass!

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

A big hug.

Personally, I think this is normal. Or it's been pretty normal at my house.

I have found that my kids generally started TRULY sleeping through the night most nights between the ages of 2 and 3. My oldest took longer but he sleeps GREAT now.

I recently asked some friends to define "sleeping through the night" and they all said 6 to 8 hours sleep, which to me, for most kids, 6 hours means they wake up between 1 and 3.

So...my only positive advice is "do the best your can in your given situation". And trust that this is not forever.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was sleeping on a mattress on the floor, too, at this age. Or else in bed with me. They do go through "active" sleeping phases, though, that make getting sleep challenging.

Waking up screaming could mean teething pain or especially, an ear infection. My daughter seemed fine during the day, then would wake up screaming several times a night when she had an ear infection. If that is ruled out, then maybe try some type of white noise in the room could help? Is she warm enough? A night light? Running out of ideas...hang in there.

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D.A.

answers from Portland on

You might try sleeping with her on the floor bed and then transition to your bed after a week or two. This might help her to settle down.

My son is 3 and still wakes and wants some mommy snuggles and then goes right back to sleep.

My daughter had awful night terrors about that age and I just had to try to ssshh her and soothe her through them. There wasn't much I could do and since night terrors are similar to sleep walking, don't wake them. Teething can be a culprit, physical or mental learning is often a culprit. Just hang in there.

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

you could try moving your mattress to the floor too, so you'd have 2 mattresses on the floor right next to each other, or with a small separation, so she can feel close to you but also have her own blanket and her own space to roll around in and wouldn't necessarily wake you up with her movements. i think it's fine to nurse her back to sleep when she needs it, but maybe sometimes you could soothe her in other ways. and actually, long periods of "uninterrupted" sleep are greatly overrated. the important thing is to get enough sleep, not how long each period of sleep is. we all naturally wake up about every hour and a half or so, may roll over, then go back to sleep without even realizing we woke up. if you sleep together, your wake/sleep rhythms will usually synchronize, so that when she wakes up you will likely not be aroused from a deep sleep but rather you will also be in a phase of light sleep, and then you can both return to sleep more easily. i would encourage you also, if you are feeling sleep deprived, to go to bed when she does (including daytime naps) for a while until you catch up on your sleep. as far as the screaming goes, she needs you to help her settle, and i think nursing or other comforting measures are fine. or hopefully your husband/partner if you have one could help some of the time. what she does NOT need, especially since she is waking up screaming, is to be abandoned by you (left to cry it out) at night. and, as others have said, it really will get better as she gets older. my recollection of my daughter's first year was that she woke up every hour for that first year, which was a bit much, but she gradually slept longer stretches. and i did always sleep with her and nurse her back to sleep, until we weaned when she was 4-1/2 (by that time she was only nursing twice a day, bedtime and morning wake-up). as far as the screaming goes, you might consider whether there might be anything going on in her life that might be contributing to her fear, could even be some innocent-seeming changes in your life, overstimulation, or a previous trauma coming out in nightmares (for example, did she have a difficult birth?). you might figure something out and make some changes, or you might never know what it is, but when she wakes up screaming she really needs you to be there for her and help her calm (and not of course by shooshing her but rather by being calm yourself and really listening and empathizing with her, maybe saying something like that's so scary, i'm sorry i don't know what's wrong but i'm right here holding you). sounds like you're on the right track and are a wonderful mom!

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J.M.

answers from Seattle on

Yikes. I'm glad you added that about the communal living situation. We have one adult house-mate, but luckily he's an incredibly sound sleeper.
We were in the exact same situation. My daughter was over a year and a ahalf and I still hadn't slept more than 4 hours in a row since she was born. When it got to the point that I couldn't finish my sentences during the day I realized I couldn't keep it up. And she was actually getting worse -starting to wake up more during the night rather than less. We didn't exactly let our daughter cry it out, but my husband got up with her and walked her around and tried to calm her. It generally took about 5 minutes and soon she started sleeping through the night. The key was having my husband get up with her instead of me.
Good Luck!

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

My 5 year old son and (now 2) year old daughter share a room...I was always worried that she would wake him up if we let her cry...After about 15 months of constantly getting up, running upstairs, calming her, etc, I had had enough! My husband slept in my son's bed (with the baby in her crib) for 1 week, our son slept with us...I turned the monitor off (although I could still hear her really) and let him deal with it...she sleeps just fine now!

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

I think she needs the security of her crib. Once you get her settled into the crib and sleeping for longer periods, she'll want to nurse less. She's nursing out of convenience, not need. Take the weekend, tell everyone in the house that you're going to be letting her cry for 5 minutes at a time for as long as it takes. After a few times, she'll fall asleep waiting. Anytime she wakes up, wait 5 minutes. This is for your baby's benefit, and yours, and everyone else's in the house. The sooner she sleeps through the night, the sooner you all can.

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J.D.

answers from Denver on

My 13-month-old son sleeps 12-14 hours a night. Straight through. Every night. He's a good sleeper on his own, so I can't claim much credit. However, we did the cry-it-out method. He learned to go to sleep on his own in his crib at 7 months. Cry-it-out is obviously very controversial, but it worked for us.

On the rare occasions he does wake up, I usually wait 5-10 minutes from the time I first hear him cry to make sure he really needs something. He doesn't cry continuously the entire time. Often, he cries out for a second and then goes back to sleep on his own. When I do go in, he usually doesn't want anything anyway (refuses bottle, not wet, doesn't want to snuggle), so I really make sure he's in need of something before getting up.

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