My 13 Month Old Will Not Sleep!!!

I feel for you. We went through this with our son, but when he was 7 mos. I was telling the pediatrician about my son waking up every hour to nurse and he didn't judge or anything, just said "And how do you like that?" I remember starting to cry (was just SO tired as you well know) and saying "I don't like it at all..." I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. A friend recommended it to me back when my son was having problems staying down; I read it and started the next day. It was like, I knew what to do (let him cry it out) but couldn't do it until I saw it in writing.

It's going to be tough going for a week or 10 days (but you will see results), and you both have to be strong and use the method for naps and nighttime. However, continuing to come in, pick him up etc. every time he cries, this is going to go on and on for years, and you'll have created a kid who is a bad sleeper (and you don't that -- my SIL has three and her life is not so fun at night). Unless he has some other nutritional issues, his need for the bottle is psychological. Instead, try leaving a sippy cup (filled with water) in his bed. Seriously though, check that book out and read it -- it will give you the courage to "sleep-train" your child, and you'll both be sane again someday soon!

I had similar problems with my first daughter. Tried crying it out, and tried Jodi Mendell's crying with checking, and I had no consistent success.

And then I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and I did what seems to make no sense what-so-ever, I gave my daughter an earlier bed-time - in her case 6:30 instead of the previous 8 PM bed-time. This was around 9 months. I am not kidding that the first night I tried this she smiled at me, laid down in her crib, and went to sleep without crying. (Previously she would fuss and cry for about 15 minutes before going to sleep). And then she slept until 5 AM. Previously she had been up 3 to 4 times per night every night. At 5 I nursed her and she went back to sleep until 6:30, and then she was up for the day. That's rough, but manageable if you go to bed early, and a lot better than getting up every hour.

The theory is that if your child is overtired (and your son most likely is if he's waking up every hour, because it's affecting his sleep as well), they have too much adrenaline in their bodies as a response to being tired and it's like giving them caffeine before bed. If you put them to bed before they get so tired they don't get the adrenaline rush, and they can sleep. I can't promise it will work for you, but it was miraculous for us.

That said, teething and illnesses cause sleep interuption as well, and you will continue to have night wakings most likely until he has all his teeth. As other posters have said, tylenol can help a lot. And, in my experience, once the tooth has cut, and you know the issue is over, you usually have to go through one or two nights of cry it out, because they develop a bad habit from you responding to their legitimage needs when they are teething or sick, and they want to see Mama in the middle of the night.

Good Luck. May you get some sleep soon!

A.

Please don't use a supplement! It is very true that it takes three days to breack your child of a bad habit. You can't back down at all. (this is key!) It will be RUFF but it works. I would hold him to give him his night bottle. read a book and tell him its time for bed. Give him his pacifier tuck him in leave and don't go back in. Turn the monitor off and wait it out. He is old enough to know you will come back if he keeps crying. Do it now and you will have your life back before you know it. I have seen this work over and over.

I am a Daycare provider of 19 years. I have two in their early 20's been there. I promise it will be fine. Your other option would be don't worry about it and bring him back to bed with you. You will have bigger battles later. haha

I live in Burlingame and have a magnetic pad that you may borrow for him to sleep on to see if he will sleep longer.
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Sleep deprivation is very harmful to your health, also.

There is an article in the April issue of Parents magazine on this issue. What is his routine before bed and how much does he nap durring the day?? All this effects his sleep routine at night.

Have you had his ears checked? Also, babies are very busy teething at this age and that can make sleeping difficult. Your could try Tylenol or teething gel before bed and see if that helps. Best of luck!

My son was having similar problems at the same age. I am a stay-home mother, so he is with me all day, I did bath time in the evening and rocked him to bed. During the night he would wake up crying and I would end up putting him in bed with us. Last month we had another boy and due to logistics my husband starting doing the evening process while I nurse the baby and do bedtime with him. It turns out that my son responds very well to my husband. We are down to waking up once a night at most, and even then he will go back to sleep with just a little while in the rocking chair. It turns out that I was the reason he was having difficulties and we needed a change in routine. Although keep in mind that men do things very differently and it is hard to be hands-off for the first week when you are use to doing it all yourself. It's been a godsend for our family and my son is doing much better. In fact my husband now takes the initiative for so much more with the 2-year old now that he has a different comfort zone and feels more needed.

Waking every hour at this age doesn't sound normal to me. Waking once or twice sounds normal, even for this age.

Have you snuck in his room at night? He might be afraid of something in his room when the lights are down and shadows everywhere. This can easily produce nightmares.

The adjustment is not working for him for some reason. You need to try to figure it out, because something is really bothering him at night.

Good luck

:o) N.

Did you check to see if he is teething? My 17 month old did the same thing and she was getting 4 teeth at once. That could be the problem.

I know what you are going thru my lil one know only wakes up once in the middle of the night. I have done one of two things the night light has seem to be in her eyes so I made sure its still on but not were she can see it directly also I got a cd player in her room that plays over and over all night long and it seems to help I play all shorts of stuff like the bible on cd and classical and luabys. It seems to sooth her also she has this one sock monkey she can't sleep without she don't hold it but if its not in bed with her she don't sleep. Also I have found givin her a snake right before bed helps its useally fruit or a lil peanutbutter on bread or crakers. Hope this helps A.

I used gripe water on my daughter when she was a lot younger (before she was one) but I am not sure it helped her sleep. It does help with upset tummies though so it might help. Go to a health food store and ask them for things that promote calmness for babies. I have something I think it's called Super Calm Valarian Root liquid that I sometimes give her but I am not sure it really makes a difference. It doesn't hurt to try it though.

Good Luck!

That's a tough one! I would just let him cry. I know you said you already tried this BUT unless you tried it consistently for at least a week I would give it another go. That means you let him fuss without ever going in there for a week. If you go in there even once and comfort him he will be getting a reward for his crying which will make him do it more. Also, don't rock him to sleep or give him a bottle right before bedtime. Give him his last meal about an hour before bedtime and don't give him anything additional during the night.

Is this something that just started or has he always been an unsettled sleeper? If this just started I would get him checked by the doc just to make sure everything is okay. If he's always been this way I would check your daytime routine. He should be taking about two 2hr. naps and one 1hr. nap each day. If you try to keep him up during the day hoping he will be more tired at night you will actually get the opposite effect. He will become anxious and sleep deprived which makes it too difficult to relax and have a peaceful sleep. Sometimes babies wake up from nap crying which means they are still tired and should go back to sleep. You'll know nap is over when he wakes up happy and has been asleep at least an hour and a half. The evening nap will be a little bit shorter if he takes one.

I hope this helps. Learning to fall asleep does not come naturally to some kids. They need an opportunity to self-sooth which may mean screaming and crying at first. It gets better. If you don't take care of it now it will only be more difficult later. The older they get, the harder it is.

I would recommend the book On Becoming Baby Wise (written by two doctors...Ezzo I think is one of them). It talks about how to help your little one get into a stable and healthy eating and sleeping routine.

Best wishes!

Sleep patterns during the day will indicate whether he will sleep at night. He should only be getting 3.5-4 hours of nap time which is broken up into two naps. Do not let him take naps whenever he wants or while he's drinking his bottle nor should you let him eat whenever he wants. At this age, he should have 4 meals a day and not snacking all day long.

Here's my daughter's schedule who is 13 months old.

8am-10am - breakfast, playtime, naptime (down at 10)
10-12 - nap
12-2pm - lunch, playtime, naptime (down at 2)
2-4 - nap
4-8:00pm - dinner, playtime, last bottle, down for the night.

Sometimes teething can be a problem, but if your little one has never slept thru the night, then he needs a schedule and you have to break the habit of feeding him at night. Once you do that, his metabolism will regulate and he won't feel hungry anymore. If we start eating midnight snacks, you'll soon find yourself always going to the refrigerator every night at 12am! So, it's the same for your little one. Try to keep a schedule as best as you can and you will see results! You can change the time to whatever works for you, but do keep a routine b/c babies need it to sleep well. Babies this age need 14.5-15 hours of sleep during a 24 hour period. Hope this helps you. Take care and good luck!

Has he ever slept through the night or is this a new thing? Does he know how to soothe himself back to sleep? I would continue to try the CIO method (assuming he is not hungry or sick). You may have to stay up all night for a couple of nights to implement the plan. Your son knows that you will probably give in to his crying. In the long run it will be better for you and your husband.

My DD, who is almost 13 months, isn't quite as bad as every hour but she still wakes up 2 to 3 times a night. I would be interested in some natural sleep remedies also!

Hi F.,
I feel for you! I agree with the other moms. The only option at this point is to let him cry. It will really, really suck for the first night or two, but you will discover that he'll get it pretty quickly after that. You just CAN'T GIVE IN! If you go in there and pick him up, you're back at square one. Just remember, 2 nights of being sleepless is a small price to pay for getting your sanity back. 90% of people with kids who sleep at night had to go through it at one point or another, some earlier than others!

The method I eventually used for my oldest was to let her cry for 5 minutes, then go in and say, "Mommy's here, go back to sleep." And then let her cry for 10 minutes, go in and tell her the same thing. Then let her cry for 15 minutes, etc. We got all the way up to 45 minutes that first night and my nerves were FRAYED! I was crying, my husband was angry with me for letting the baby cry, it was awful. But the next night she didn't cry very long, maybe 15 or 20 minutes total. The third night she slept through the night with no issues. She was around 9 months old at that point and has been a good sleeper ever since (she's now 5.5 years).

With my younger daughter I did the BabyWise thing and she slept through the night around a month old (bless her). I am not sure if BabyWise would work for a 1 year old - it more or less revolves around training kids to sleep by scheduling their whole day the same every day - but by a year old I'm sure you've got a pretty good routine going so... I think you're stuck crying it out.

Best of luck, we'll be thinking of you! I hope it all goes well!